[XXL]

Before anyone tell me "don't shit where you eat", I'm not asking about picking up a coworker. Let me explain..

I'm new guy in the company and I'm becoming 'that' guy in the office. That single, fun, flirty, quite good looking stud. I get along with girls well and there is a flirty vibe between some of us. That's fine but I'm just cool with everyone and engage all people there. So there is no "I'm into you" vibe with any of them.

We went out once after work [my initiative] for a beer and junk food. It was fun. To make it happen I tried a little trick. I didn't want to just ask people who's going cause as a new guy I thought nobody would be really down for that. So at first I talked to girls in private and it turned out there were open to it. So we set up a hangout first, just me and girls. So having my critical mass [girls only] I invited rest of the team. They were quite surprised seeing the list of people and few of them decided to go with us. By product is that people might see me now as some sort of popular dude [among the girls] even though I'm very chill/innocent and not sexual at all.

Ok so after that first hangout we talked a bit and it turned out they all want more aka they want to go to nightclub party to drink dance and have fun. Hmm... cool.

Here's my question...

What should I do then? Precisely.. How should I behave to remain cool? What's OK and what's not OK?

I'm asking about.. should I stick to my group, dance a bit, drink a bit and play "best friend" for the night or can I engage other girls there and let my group see me gaming randoms? [keep in mind that I have very low risk/invisible game so it doesn't really look like I'm chasing tail, however, from regular people standpoint chatting up strangers is still viewed as pickup].


Girls in my team all know I'm social butterfly type of a person who's very non needy. So they all know that being social is my second nature, which is good as they see that talking/flirting is me being myself. But still, I don't really know. I've never been in that kind of situation where "business" world mix with social/fun land. I can't tell what's appropriate enough to remain cool guy and not cross the line. Where is the line here?

I've had only one situation before where I went out with a girl from my department but that was different, it 1on1 fun night out so nobody from the company saw us.

PS. Of course I want to keep my work/social rep intact, I hope everyone knows that already ; ]

[Onto]

Isn't the real question, "Will the girls I work with get jealous/pissed at me if I ignore them and start gaming other women?"

The answer I think is, yes. Will they make you pay for that at work? Probably to some extent.

Since you are going out as a group it would be a little rude if you ignored them to start gaming other women. Plenty of other nights to do that. No need to risk your work environment over it.

[Cheetah]

Why isn't here any middle ground?

What about sticking with your job circle until it's late enough to go home without being seen as someone that drops out. Instead of going home, you excuse yourself, thank everyone for the night and say that you might take a look around the club before heading home. Then start gaming and it's probably not a bad thing if the girls you game have seen you in the job circle of yours.

[zombyz]

First post, Im in the same situation as XXL besides it's my 'going away' night. The girls at my work are really cute and in relationships. It might seem rude and selfish for me to leave my circle to game on other girls but it's not like my coworkers fulfill my sexual needs in anyway.
Since I'll have cute girls in my circle I'll be taking advantage of that and working 'easy/short' game on others (hanging out with beautiful women to attract others).
I wouldn't ignore them jus find a good balance and use it to your advantage. Seems fun and challenging.

[XXL]

(07-26-2014 12:43 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Instead of going home, you excuse yourself, thank everyone for the night and say that you might take a look around the club before heading home. Then start gaming and it's probably not a bad thing if the girls you game have seen you in the job circle of yours.

Good solution. Thx

[lurker]

Limit your approaches to a couple top girls in the club.

Tell your female coworkers beforehand you're going to approach those girls. Your line is something like "that girl over there is cute and I think she looked over at me. Should I go talk to her? What do I say?" They'll encourage it and not consider it rude because you'll seem like a good guy just trying to meet someone nice instead of a pickup artist.

[Heathree]

Since you are a social butterfly and making friends, hooking up, etc is of no issue only use the office social for a career gain. To make contacts, strengthen bonds, become more well liked and so on to lead to promotion, people helping with work, and general advancement. Do your hookups elsewhere away from such a place so there is no comebacks and 'don't shit where you eat' scenarios.

I think the workplace is really popular place to get laid but the people who generally do that are the ones that don't have other outlets for pickup. It kind of makes sense in some ways because you spend so much time at work...

[Noir]

Hey XXL. Being the 'cool new guy' and going out with 10 females to a club is the ultimate preselection, go out and use it to meet other women.

I had exactly the same scenario 2 months ago. I started working in an office where women outnumber us guys by 4-1 and they invited me out.
I met my colleagues at a popular lounge bar here and they were all dolled up to the fullest. Shit, I didn't even recognize them. I was leading this pack of 5 good looking and tall women, the look other girls were giving us was insane. One girl at least at every bench/table was eye-fucking me.

The reason I am saying this is because it will definitely change your perception of these girls you work with, at least for the night. By the time we got to the club, I had a few shots with them, let the gay guy buy me a drink too and I peeled off. I didn't want to get as drunk as everyone else and lose control, as every plausible scenario sucks, long term. If I stick around and I am progressively creating 'timelines' with these girls, it is planting a seed between us. I see these people every day. When we're out on a weekend some are really cool, others are really fake.
I didn't want to get as drunk as everyone else and lose control either, as every plausible scenario sucks, long term. I went to make friends. Typical, as I didn't tell my mates to come out and meet me, I went around thinking 'if this was my birthday party, who haven't I met yet?'.

I peeled off them and went to the smoking area. I purposely went and sat next to 2 hot 21 y/o students and just put myself on their radar. They asked me for a lighter, I teased them a bit about it. Asked the girl directly, who are you? when she asked for a lighter and engaged her from there.

Turns out her friends Greek and I am so she tries to shit test me by speaking Greek. I school her ass and take her to dance, once we finish smoking, after 10 minutes or so.

I was at the bar, but on the other side of the island bar, so I can be seen from the other side. This girl was an 8, at least. We made out a bit, but she was leaving so I got her number. I wanted to rejoin my colleagues and not look like a douche pulling off to fuck 21 year olds on our first work outing. My colleagues saw me and the guys gave me subtle fistbumps and nods upon return. The women definitely noticed; some of them wouldn't hold eye contact for the rest of the night but most were banterous.

After that, I was just making friends. Charisma is your best weapon, it makes everything look natural and not 'pickup' or needy, as if you need to prove something or are seeking attention. Just make friends and introduce people. Work or not.

As for the girl who I made out with and got her number, I never met her again. We messaged a bit but our schedules were off and then she went on holiday.

2 months and 2-3 outings later, I am on superb terms with every person I work with. All the girls think they have a chance with me, even though I won't want to. Since that night, people started 'gossiping' about me and 2 girls. I am stone faced, I don't care. Indiscretion is fine for me. The less I say, the better. In my workplace I like to let their minds race and fill in the gaps themselves.

[Heathree]

Should also add, important to be careful, it may make some of the males jealous which could effect the goings on the workplace. Its all game which needs to player with care. I figure that's pretty much the case in most human interactions.

[RURALGAMER]

I guess I have serious problem building work relationships.
IDGAF what they would think. MOST people at work can not be trusted so I keep only a small number of friends.

I'm going out with a group of work friends next weekend and it'll be game on. Women will realize the higher value and guys can fuck off

[rudebwoy]

Is this a job you don't care about?

To me this falls under be careful where you tread category.

[JayJuanGee]

(08-03-2014 12:07 PM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

I guess I have serious problem building work relationships.
IDGAF what they would think. MOST people at work can not be trusted so I keep only a small number of friends.

I'm going out with a group of work friends next weekend and it'll be game on. Women will realize the higher value and guys can fuck off

How big of a work group do you have, and how long do you expect to be with that job or that work location? Those kinds of calculations could affect how to proceed to your advantage...

Usually, I find it helpful to have some allies in the workplace (even guys), yet that consideration may depend on how long you expect to be with that job or that work location.

[RURALGAMER]

(08-03-2014 03:28 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-03-2014 12:07 PM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

I guess I have serious problem building work relationships.
IDGAF what they would think. MOST people at work can not be trusted so I keep only a small number of friends.

I'm going out with a group of work friends next weekend and it'll be game on. Women will realize the higher value and guys can fuck off

How big of a work group do you have, and how long do you expect to be with that job or that work location? Those kinds of calculations could affect how to proceed to your advantage...

Usually, I find it helpful to have some allies in the workplace (even guys), yet that consideration may depend on how long you expect to be with that job or that work location.

Fairly large group. The allies I do have are almost as high as you can go in the chain of command.
Maybe that's what my attitude is about hell IDK.

As for how long. Honestly until some plans I have pan out and I start bringing in income that I feel I can count on while doing my own thing I'm going to stick to where I'm at.
Hopefully within two years I'm done with making money for others permanently.

[JayJuanGee]

(08-03-2014 07:31 PM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

(08-03-2014 03:28 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(08-03-2014 12:07 PM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

I guess I have serious problem building work relationships.
IDGAF what they would think. MOST people at work can not be trusted so I keep only a small number of friends.

I'm going out with a group of work friends next weekend and it'll be game on. Women will realize the higher value and guys can fuck off

How big of a work group do you have, and how long do you expect to be with that job or that work location? Those kinds of calculations could affect how to proceed to your advantage...

Usually, I find it helpful to have some allies in the workplace (even guys), yet that consideration may depend on how long you expect to be with that job or that work location.

Fairly large group. The allies I do have are almost as high as you can go in the chain of command.
Maybe that's what my attitude is about hell IDK.

As for how long. Honestly until some plans I have pan out and I start bringing in income that I feel I can count on while doing my own thing I'm going to stick to where I'm at.
Hopefully within two years I'm done with making money for others permanently.

I guess that I was trying to make a very similar point as Rudebwoy had made above, yet each of us probably recognizes that workplaces vary and your attachments and connected to your workplace may have some variance, as well... whether in the future you will need a workplace reference or NOT..... or if you don't want to be caught up in too much office drama. There are people who burn bridges, and that could feel liberating at the moment (or even a part of the person's personality tendencies) but then there are people who have NO spine, and are NOT willing to speak truth to the powers that be in the workplace - whether those powers are formal or informal powers.

I think guys in RVF strive to figure out ways in which they can personally profit from the strategies that they employ.

I agree that it can truly be liberating to have enough skills or resources that you can call your own shots, including NOT having to answer to anybody nor having to depend on anyone for a sufficient income to sustain your lifestyle. On the other hand, sometimes, guys may just be stuck in certain work circumstances for what seems to be an extended period of time.. and figuring out ways to personally profit from such a situation.