[Sp5]

You can "expat" yourself within the USA, too. Moving from a big city in California or the East Coast to a small town in New England, New Mexico, Arkansas, or Iowa, or vice-versa, is a pretty big change. Particularly along the Mexican border, it can be like a foreign country.

There are lots of good things about the USA, including relatively cheap real estate and food.

[mrnomer14]

Yes, the promised land of being a faithful provider to a wife and children has been washed away in the west. The only sensible thing to do is seek out greener pastures. Being location independent is a double edged sword but is really the holy grail for a man at this point. Never before in history has such freedom been possible!!

[RawGod]

I was one who never considered being an expat, never read up on blogs and forums, it just happened. After about two years of going through all the cliched new experiences overseas, something clicked inside me and I realised that I was destined to be an long-term expat. There was no struggle, it just was a fact.

That probably sounds more mystical than I meant it to, but what I mean is that the whole thing was just very natural. I am one of those who never felt at home in his own country, I just didn't realise that until I spent an extended time overseas.

[bacon]

I have always had wandering feet. At 18 I left for college on the other side of the country. Ive Spent half of my 20s abroad so far living in several countries. I think because I have been moving and relocating so much since 18 I have trouble imagining what life would be like if I had stayed in my hometown all these years then expatriated deep into my 20s so I cant imagine what the OP is experiencing.

[William Windsor]

(07-22-2014 07:36 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  

As my days waned here in New York, I began to realize the complexity of my decision. To say goodbye to your family, your friends, the things you've worked so hard to set up with your own blood, sweat and tears. I began to realize it was more difficult than putting on my 'fearless face' and saying I'll be back soon.

After my first trip, I came home after five months and didn't skip a beat. Nothing changed.

My longest trip was four years. Even after that one, 90% of my friends were still there. Same jobs were still there. It wasn't long until I got back into my old routines.

Have comfort in knowing you can always go back.

[Duke Castile]

Maledefined, I am just reading this and I am still excited for you.

This quote by Marcus Aurelius popped into my head as soon as I read the first paragraph.

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Of course, one of the weapons you carry is a big pair of brass balls.

Enjoy these moments you have left. You can step back into that life again if you want to. NYC isn't going anywhere.

It's you that's going places.

[Switch]

After a period of 3 years abroad with only 2 trips back home I can tell you this:

When you get back, everyone is going to be the same. Same activities, same attitudes, same hobbies, same friends. It sucks leaving. It feels like you're dying and never coming back. You're leaving your comfort zone and daily life for the unknown. You're going to have doubts. You're going to be homesick. And if you've never been homesick, let me tell you, it fucking sucks. It's debilitating. You just want to curl up in a ball, fall asleep and wake up at home.

But if you push through the initial phase of homesickness, of regret, of stress, of anxiety, and persevere through the hardship you experience during expatriation, you're going to make it work.

You can call home every day. The internet makes it insanely simple to keep in touch and keep tabs on friends and loved ones. You'll set up a new life abroad. You'll expand your comfort zone. You'll set up a new life in your new location, likely with more interesting people in an interesting new place.

Going back is the hardest part. It's hard because nothing changes. You get back to your home country and everybody is exactly as they were before. Same conversations. Same friends. Same hobbies. Same beliefs.

But you've changed. Sure it's easy to blend back in, especially if for some reason you hated your time abroad. But odds are, you, as a RVFer, will enjoy your time abroad and take advantage of it to the best of your ability. And that experience is going to change you. You're going to become a better, more interesting person. You're going to find it very hard, if not impossible to blend back into the society you were in before. You may feel homesickness when you're abroad, but when you're home after expatriation, you're going to miss the adventure and newness of the open road of endless possibilities foreign lands bear.

Odds are that if you are on this forum, you're a wanderer at heart.

You're going to have trouble leaving at first, but once you get over the initial speed bumps, your new comfort zone will be abroad, and it will pull you back, every time.

[plebhunter]

Switch, what countries have you travelled?

[TopPanda]

I quit my very well paying UK job to go and live in China last year.

Well I had an amazing year with many ups and downs. ALL men on this forum should aim to live abroad for a year. I studied at a Chinese University, and there were only 2 other Brits on the entire campus. Didn't meet any Americans at all. I highly recommend young guys go and study in China as part of their degree - it's a huge thing to put on your resume.

Back to my own experiences, and I found being man enough to walk out of a good job was an important step.

In China I had to constantly firefight all kinds of problems, from bad quality food, bad accommodation, bad weather, bad overcrowding and badass mosquitoes/roaches. But it was a dating paradise.

After 4 months I went for a 2 week vacation to Thailand, and ended up staying there 6 months. Lol.

I came back from Asia a different person. I'm more relaxed, I don't care about first world problems, and I'm pretty much immune to noise. And also I have some good stories to tell. Really good stories.

Go do it guys.

[nomadicdude]

FYI- If you have not seen this yet, Roosh just wrote a blog entry related to this topic. I thought it was spot on:

7 Reasons Why American Culture Is The Most Degenerate In The World (http://www.rooshv.com/7-reasons-why-amer...-the-world)

It is a great summary of how in many ways America is a failed society but most Americans do not realize it. The people who understand what is going on quickly realize that there are more opportunities abroad for success, women, and happiness.

[Sp5]

(07-23-2014 04:20 PM)nomadicdude Wrote:  

FYI- If you have not seen this yet, Roosh just wrote a blog entry related to this topic. I thought it was spot on:

7 Reasons Why American Culture Is The Most Degenerate In The World (http://www.rooshv.com/7-reasons-why-amer...-the-world)

It is a great summary of how in many ways America is a failed society but most Americans do not realize it. The people who understand what is going on quickly realize that there are more opportunities abroad for success, women, and happiness.

That's a bit over the top when you consider how really fucked up a lot of countries are.

One thing about being an expat is, you can always go home, or at least go to another country.

What you have to remember is, what would it be like if I had to live here as a citizen, in the culture? Like, have to save up a dowry for 15 years before I could get married and have sex with a regular woman - not whores and other men. Like, have to pay bribes to get my national ID card renewed. Like, be subject to beatings by the police at their whim.

When you consider that, especially with regard to the rule of law and the authorities, America isn't so fucked up after all.

To me, official corruption and hypocrisy leading to arbitrary oppression in the service of elite greed is degeneracy. Not chicks taking selfies in the mirror.

[berserk]

I left quite young as an exchange student to Thailand. There was barely an internet back then, no skype, no facebook, for sure no Rooshv Forum. My first trip to RCA with some fellow foreign students was like landing in a place of my dreams. 22 years old and surrounded my the sexiest girls I've ever seen in miniskirts everywhere. I tried to chase that experience for several years. These days I am far more pragmatic about being an expat, for me I see every country as a ying-yang coin with two sides. Being back home is not different from being abroad, just another country as an expat. Pros are friends, family and language, cons are taxes, lack of freedom and women.

Now, when I take that mentality, everything gets a lot easier. I am able to laugh at the absurdities of my home country like I would laugh at the absurdities of a foreign country. Only, in my own country, I have a bit of leverage so I can't be fucked over as easily if I want to stir up some trouble. All in all, I think you get much wiser and much stronger from being an expat. Much more easygoing and chill too.

[TheBulldozer]

Great stuff guys. Really refreshing and insightful to read your replies.

[Irish]

The fear and difficulty of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking the jump will be nothing compared to the pain of regret you will feel for not doing it.

Knowing this made the decision to move easier for me, as ultimately when I was given the chance to move out here to Singapore I knew I didn't have a choice at all. I absolutely had to take the opportunity.

Sure it was tough initially when I first moved, I absolutely loved my life I had in the UK city I had lived in the last 7 years and was very settled. Great social circle, good job, mortgaged apartment and sports car. The main thing for me was the feeling of being quite unsettled after turning my back on all that to start again on the other side of the world. This feeling improved a lot once I had set up my own permanent place to stay (was crashing at a mates place before that) and I had to keep reminding myself that my home city will always be there. Also often skyping my friends and family helped, esp using the video, as it reminds you with the technology we have now the world really is a small place.

What also helped me was my prior experience when I lived in London for 18 months. All in all I hated living there and other than making a couple of good solid mates it couldnt really have been much worse. However I dont for one minute regret my move there. Reason being for the invaluable experience it gave me and how much I grew by stepping out of my comfort zone. When I moved back home as well it seemed like life there stayed still, nothing changed, so I didnt really miss anything back there either. Knowing that no matter how bad it turns out it will still be worthwhile gave me a lot of comfort as well.

There definitely was a feeling of loneliness and of being unsettled which took a while to go away. But I just kept telling myself I have done the right thing and am growing as a person as a result of stepping out of my comfort zone. I just focused on getting out and about as much as possible to create and grow my social circle and seek out new experiences. As a result of taking the plunge 18 months ago my life has become so much more kick ass than it would have been otherwise and now I don't want to ever come home

Irish

[Sherman]

I first left the US when I got a job in Europe. I sold my house and gave my furniture to my ex wife. I got rid of a lot of stuff and brought the rest and my car to Europe. I burned all my bridges and never looked back. It's easier when you have a job and a new life waiting for you. I now work for myself and can live a higher quality life in Mexico. I can get good dental and medical care by just paying out of pocket, and wouldn't move back to the US for that alone.

[nomadicdude]

(07-23-2014 04:54 PM)Sp5 Wrote:  

(07-23-2014 04:20 PM)nomadicdude Wrote:  

FYI- If you have not seen this yet, Roosh just wrote a blog entry related to this topic. I thought it was spot on:

7 Reasons Why American Culture Is The Most Degenerate In The World (http://www.rooshv.com/7-reasons-why-amer...-the-world)

It is a great summary of how in many ways America is a failed society but most Americans do not realize it. The people who understand what is going on quickly realize that there are more opportunities abroad for success, women, and happiness.

That's a bit over the top when you consider how really fucked up a lot of countries are.

One thing about being an expat is, you can always go home, or at least go to another country.

What you have to remember is, what would it be like if I had to live here as a citizen, in the culture? Like, have to save up a dowry for 15 years before I could get married and have sex with a regular woman - not whores and other men. Like, have to pay bribes to get my national ID card renewed. Like, be subject to beatings by the police at their whim.

When you consider that, especially with regard to the rule of law and the authorities, America isn't so fucked up after all.

To me, official corruption and hypocrisy leading to arbitrary oppression in the service of elite greed is degeneracy. Not chicks taking selfies in the mirror.

Yeah, the grass is always greener but I've never been a fan of justifying living in America cause there is some XYZ country out there that is worse. That is like staying in a white collar job you hate cause someone out there is picking strawberries or collecting trash for min wage, so your job is not as bad in comparison.

I think America is really going down hill socially compared to other wealthy nations. And when I go to developing or middle income countries like China and see how advanced they are becoming it is really impressive. Things change and maybe eventually Americans will fight back against the crap that is happening to them but right now it just seems like we are heading towards a society where everyone will be 400 pounds spending their entire life paying off debt to corporate America while married to a woman who whips the shit out of him for not cleaning the dishes 100%. I don't want to deal with that shit. YOLO.

[lowbudgetballer]

(07-22-2014 08:16 PM)Onto Wrote:  

I'm kinda having the same kind of turmoil too. I leave in September. In my case, I'm quitting a well-paying, but completely unsatisfying gig to travel for 7 months with no income coming in. Deciding what to sell and what to keep at my parents house. Will I wish I sold everything when I had the chance? Will I wish I held onto things I sold? Will I be able to get another job easily when I come back? Will I have enough money when I come back?

I don't know the answers of how it all will turn out, but I know how it will be if I don't go. The same as it is now, and if I were truly happy with that I wouldn't have been longing to leave in the first place….and time in general is running out fast…..at least the part that counts most.

If you are comfortable at home, there may be no reason to leave. My goal was to never leave my rustbelt city. I wanted to be a writer there or a professor at one of the local universities. If I had succeeded, there would have been no more traveling than either Europe or Summer trips to Thai/Ph when I was more in the know. . .

'baller

[Jaydublin]

(07-23-2014 11:16 PM)lowbudgetballer Wrote:  

(07-22-2014 08:16 PM)Onto Wrote:  

I'm kinda having the same kind of turmoil too. I leave in September. In my case, I'm quitting a well-paying, but completely unsatisfying gig to travel for 7 months with no income coming in. Deciding what to sell and what to keep at my parents house. Will I wish I sold everything when I had the chance? Will I wish I held onto things I sold? Will I be able to get another job easily when I come back? Will I have enough money when I come back?

I don't know the answers of how it all will turn out, but I know how it will be if I don't go. The same as it is now, and if I were truly happy with that I wouldn't have been longing to leave in the first place….and time in general is running out fast…..at least the part that counts most.

If you are comfortable at home, there may be no reason to leave. My goal was to never leave my rustbelt city. I wanted to be a writer there or a professor at one of the local universities. If I had succeeded, there would have been no more traveling than either Europe or Summer trips to Thai/Ph when I was more in the know. . .

'baller

I disagree... get out and get some world experience. What sort of life is living in some small city inside your comfort zone?

[weambulance]

(07-24-2014 12:39 AM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

I disagree... get out and get some world experience. What sort of life is living in some small city inside your comfort zone?

Judging by the people I grew up with, you can then safely feel like an expert on every subject and dismiss what people who Went Out Into The World have to say about anything.

...There's a reason I don't keep in touch with any of the tards I went to high school with.

[lowbudgetballer]

(07-24-2014 01:20 AM)weambulance Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 12:39 AM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

I disagree... get out and get some world experience. What sort of life is living in some small city inside your comfort zone?

Judging by the people I grew up with, you can then safely feel like an expert on every subject and dismiss what people who Went Out Into The World have to say about anything.

...There's a reason I don't keep in touch with any of the tards I went to high school with.

Who had it better in The Deer Hunter: the guys in Vietnam--De Niro, the Russian Rouletter, the guy who lost his legs and was in the military hospital--or the guy who never left Clairton?

'baller

'baller

[Sp5]

(07-24-2014 04:14 AM)lowbudgetballer Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 01:20 AM)weambulance Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 12:39 AM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

I disagree... get out and get some world experience. What sort of life is living in some small city inside your comfort zone?

Judging by the people I grew up with, you can then safely feel like an expert on every subject and dismiss what people who Went Out Into The World have to say about anything.

...There's a reason I don't keep in touch with any of the tards I went to high school with.

Who had it better in The Deer Hunter: the guys in Vietnam--De Niro, the Russian Rouletter, the guy who lost his legs and was in the military hospital--or the guy who never left Clairton?

'baller

'baller

Was The Deer Hunter a true story? I was looking for those Russian roulette parlors in Bangkok.

Let me pose another question in your vein: Who had it better, Bilbo, Frodo or the hobbits who never left the Shire?

[lowbudgetballer]

(07-24-2014 04:18 AM)Sp5 Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 04:14 AM)lowbudgetballer Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 01:20 AM)weambulance Wrote:  

(07-24-2014 12:39 AM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

I disagree... get out and get some world experience. What sort of life is living in some small city inside your comfort zone?

Judging by the people I grew up with, you can then safely feel like an expert on every subject and dismiss what people who Went Out Into The World have to say about anything.

...There's a reason I don't keep in touch with any of the tards I went to high school with.

Who had it better in The Deer Hunter: the guys in Vietnam--De Niro, the Russian Rouletter, the guy who lost his legs and was in the military hospital--or the guy who never left Clairton?

'baller

'baller

Was The Deer Hunter a true story? I was looking for those Russian roulette parlors in Bangkok.

Let me pose another question in your vein: Who had it better, Bilbo, Frodo or the hobbits who never left the Shire?

I doubt the Deer Hunter was a fully true story, and I never read or saw The Lord of the Rings.

http://www.bartleby.com/17/1/28.html

I'm sure the dog and the wolf were equally happy, but the dog was probably better fed.

'baller

[Duke Castile]

Do we have a battle of wits going on here? You know Sp5 is a Sicilian...

[Sp5]

(07-24-2014 06:49 AM)Fisto Wrote:  

Do we have a battle of wits going on here? You know Sp5 is a Sicilian...

In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns. Living the expat life here . . . .

[Constitution45]

I recommend ex pat life, although its not for everyone. It has to be said that a large chunk of men in the West, are more suited for the countries in the East, due to the toxic conditions set for masculinity. Intellectual guys with morals, or those who have a drive to succeed, will probably find it a hell lot easier to do so in Asia or SA.

When I was growing up, I always felt out of place because I didn't subscribe to the whole celebrity obsessed culture and I didn't go out like some Joey Essex styled clown. Although living abroad and having relationships, achieving my goals, really made me realise that its actually them who have the problem, not me. Having that realisation made it a lot more easier to get on with life and go for my goals. Life became a lot more deeper and actually had some meaning, rather than this narrative everyone else holds on to back at home, "Be popular, get a comfortable job, get a mediocre wife".

In some cases it genuinely is the "grass is greener" on the other side scenario. However I believe there are locations in the world which are far more healthy for your soul and mental state. If was a EE man or woman, I would probably immigrate to London and start a new life. Money will be easy to come by and being from a traditional country, they don't appreciate the positives that come along with that, their character has probably already been healthily rounded.

Anyway to sum it up, I will say.


Positives:

- Sense of adventure, you really will have this raw feeling added to your life, which becomes addicted.
- Better quality of life, money goes a long way in a lot of other countries.
- Women, this is one of the biggest positives, before I envisioned my life as begin this nihilistic player who will just grow old hating women. Being with traditional women who are actually nice people and value relationships with you as a man, just blew my mind.
- Business, for some reason being a foreigner can really open doors for you.

Negatives:

-Business, being a foreigner can open you up to being screwed over.

-Having to come back, can be depressing.

- Dangerous, if this worries you then be careful, although I will say your average Western city will have its threats.