[pro14]

I'll try to keep this short as possible- I could use some suggestions guys.

I've been on this site for about a year but not really the past 6 months. last summer I was into trying some of the things I read here but somewhere along the way just lost interest.

I've been focusing a lot on my job, my kid, and most of this year getting myself back in good physical shape - lifting more and eating better than I have in years. relaxing when I get the chance.

what's missing are friends and women. its embarrassing how long its been since I've banged a chick - 1.5 years. and what's worse is I know it doesn't have to be this way. friends from the past are moving on with their lives and going out is few and far between. I don't have a group of 'boys' that I go out with and wondering as I get older if ill ever have this. haven't been out solo for a while.

getting older. I'm 37, white, 6' 0 athletic but not built. decent looking but as one of my older male friends and sort of a mentor - says - who gives a fuck about that lol. im clean cut, don't smoke, have good hygiene, im smart and work in management - drink socially and like going out...I feel like im in my 20's! I have a lot of good tools, but as I look around, I find that women or even people just aren't interested.

is it my look, my personality - i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant. I feel like my life and me - may be boring to outsiders and I don't have much to offer other people - I don't feel connected like a lot of people are.

ill be honest I also have a problem with my vision and a condition where it cant be corrected. I see well enough to drive but its touch seeing details so that knocks enjoyment out of a lot of things. it also may make me look a little awkward at times, how I hold myself, my stare etc.

my history - ive had a lot of girlfriends but have not dated a lot. I have high sexual energy but I don't give it off. I've done a lot of experimenting in bed - tying girls up handcuffs etc - I know w what i'm doing and im good at it lol - the problem is getting girls there.

ive tried online dating but my age definitely holds be back, I also don't look like a hot player or bad boy, and honestly a lot of girls personality, writing skills and sense of humor suck when it comes to online anyway.

fuck guys - how can an older dude like me turn this around? id be happy just dating and banging girls consistently for once in my life.

[Cheetah]

^^ How well did you do with women when you were younger?

[Noir]

Quote:

" i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant"

But have you got balls?

You gotta exert your vibe and subcommunicate yourself better. With both men and women. Men won't fuck with you and women will be turned on.

Make some friends. Preferably people cooler than you for you to learn from and be introduced. I am happy that you feel like you're in your 20's, it is a great feeling. You need to build a semi-social circle, some kind of social aspect to it, so you can reap the benefits. More LTR stuff.

It also comes down to utilizing your time well. I went to the grocery store today and had 2 interactions with girls who were cute. I know whether they are going somewhere or not so I get numbers etc. I just do this during the week when I am working and pipeline and message girls when I go out. Then we meet, depending on how many times I have seen her or if it is a first time. I also have a few girls with established relationships but can be very time draining.

You could also play the field but you have a kid and I am too young to advise you on those affairs.

Do you have character or are you vanilla?

If you lost interest a year ago as you said, what makes you interested now? You gotta be motivated, with everything. Instead you sound defeated.

[kinjutsu]

My advice is just start going out and being social.
It takes time to build a social circle.

From the point of view, purely hunting for fresh pussy...lie about your age. Say your 5 years younger.
A little bit of deception in game is expected on both sides.

I don't look my age. I get 8-10yrs younger than i actually am. One day i just went with it.
Once she's fucking you it wont matter.

[pro14]

(07-21-2014 01:57 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

^^ How well did you do with women when you were younger?

not great. high school was non existent. college was ok - but again girlfriends and not random bangs. i've overcome a lot socially to develop myself and my confidence (stemming from getting picked on when I was younger) - but still have a ways to go. now I feel like age is in the mix more than ever. something I haven't really thought about before.

[RockHard]

(07-21-2014 01:44 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

getting older. I'm 37, white, 6' 0 athletic but not built. decent looking but as one of my older male friends and sort of a mentor - says - who gives a fuck about that lol. im clean cut, don't smoke, have good hygiene, im smart and work in management - drink socially and like going out...I feel like im in my 20's! I have a lot of good tools, but as I look around, I find that women or even people just aren't interested.

is it my look, my personality - i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant. I feel like my life and me - may be boring to outsiders and I don't have much to offer other people - I don't feel connected like a lot of people are.

37 is a bit young to be writing off online, but you need to be ready for that transition. At 35 you start to fall off a lot of girls' filters.

My advice is to daygame. Always be on the lookout, and if you see a girl that stirs something in you, talk to her. The grocery store, Starbucks, out and about, talk to them.

(07-21-2014 01:44 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

getting older. I'm 37, white, 6' 0 athletic but not built. decent looking but as one of my older male friends and sort of a mentor - says - who gives a fuck about that lol. im clean cut, don't smoke, have good hygiene, im smart and work in management - drink socially and like going out...I feel like im in my 20's! I have a lot of good tools, but as I look around, I find that women or even people just aren't interested.

How do you know they aren't interested? Do you ask them out and they say "not interested"? Or are you just not getting eye contact or not able to keep a conversation going?

Quote:

is it my look, my personality - i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant. I feel like my life and me - may be boring to outsiders and I don't have much to offer other people - I don't feel connected like a lot of people are.

Dude, the attributes you list are not what's going to spark a girl's interest. They won't spark anyone's interest. If you're writing an online dating profile and this is what you said, it's no wonder you're not having any luck. Every guy is a nice, smiling, friendly, pleasant, social drinker. That is not going to make her want to fuck you. If that was attractive, there's 600 other guys in line ahead of you. You need to have an edge, you need to have a core of yourself that doesn't belong to your employer or some imaginary woman who you want to fuck.

You need to be intriguing, not like every other guy. I'm looking at all the qualifications and here's the thing: you're a pleasant clean cut middle manager guy. So boring. Don't be that guy. That's the guy who gets the paycheck, but be the guy who has something going for him besides a mortgage and a 401K. Who is pro14?

Do you have any hobbies? If you want to build a set of friends, find something to do and then work on getting a group of guys to do it with. Tell us what you're into, or what you're not into yet but might be interested in getting into, and we can give you ideas about how to go about it. If all you're into is women & work, well, that's going to be tough.

[RockHard]

Also, 37 is not old. You're holding onto a self limiting belief, because your low self esteem is looking for a reason to fail. Don't accept a crutch, get up and walk.

[pro14]

(07-21-2014 02:29 PM)RockHard Wrote:  

(07-21-2014 01:44 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

getting older. I'm 37, white, 6' 0 athletic but not built. decent looking but as one of my older male friends and sort of a mentor - says - who gives a fuck about that lol. im clean cut, don't smoke, have good hygiene, im smart and work in management - drink socially and like going out...I feel like im in my 20's! I have a lot of good tools, but as I look around, I find that women or even people just aren't interested.

is it my look, my personality - i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant. I feel like my life and me - may be boring to outsiders and I don't have much to offer other people - I don't feel connected like a lot of people are.

37 is a bit young to be writing off online, but you need to be ready for that transition. At 35 you start to fall off a lot of girls' filters.

My advice is to daygame. Always be on the lookout, and if you see a girl that stirs something in you, talk to her. The grocery store, Starbucks, out and about, talk to them.

(07-21-2014 01:44 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

getting older. I'm 37, white, 6' 0 athletic but not built. decent looking but as one of my older male friends and sort of a mentor - says - who gives a fuck about that lol. im clean cut, don't smoke, have good hygiene, im smart and work in management - drink socially and like going out...I feel like im in my 20's! I have a lot of good tools, but as I look around, I find that women or even people just aren't interested.

How do you know they aren't interested? Do you ask them out and they say "not interested"? Or are you just not getting eye contact or not able to keep a conversation going?

Quote:

is it my look, my personality - i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant. I feel like my life and me - may be boring to outsiders and I don't have much to offer other people - I don't feel connected like a lot of people are.

Dude, the attributes you list are not what's going to spark a girl's interest. They won't spark anyone's interest. If you're writing an online dating profile and this is what you said, it's no wonder you're not having any luck. Every guy is a nice, smiling, friendly, pleasant, social drinker. That is not going to make her want to fuck you. If that was attractive, there's 600 other guys in line ahead of you. You need to have an edge, you need to have a core of yourself that doesn't belong to your employer or some imaginary woman who you want to fuck.

You need to be intriguing, not like every other guy. I'm looking at all the qualifications and here's the thing: you're a pleasant clean cut middle manager guy. So boring. Don't be that guy. That's the guy who gets the paycheck, but be the guy who has something going for him besides a mortgage and a 401K. Who is pro14?

Do you have any hobbies? If you want to build a set of friends, find something to do and then work on getting a group of guys to do it with. Tell us what you're into, or what you're not into yet but might be interested in getting into, and we can give you ideas about how to go about it. If all you're into is women & work, well, that's going to be tough.

you're right on that - my life's too focused on a limited number of things so my hobbies are lacking. I go to the gym solo and don't usually talk to people there. its my own fault not pushing myself out there - with hobbies and with creating the environment I want to be around me. I am a little or a lot beat down - but recognize this and want to change

when you approach in day game, what do you do or say that shows 'you' or makes you come across as intriguing? I could easily do a lot of day game at lunchtime at work - lots of places around. that may be a good place to start pushing

[pro14]

Quote:

(07-21-2014 02:22 PM)Noir Wrote:  

[quote]" i'm nice, I smile - friendly - not extremely outgoing but I laugh a lot and look pleasant"

But have you got balls?

Yes!

Quote:

You gotta exert your vibe and subcommunicate yourself better. With both men and women. Men won't fuck with you and women will be turned on.

Make some friends. Preferably people cooler than you for you to learn from and be introduced. I am happy that you feel like you're in your 20's, it is a great feeling. You need to build a semi-social circle, some kind of social aspect to it, so you can reap the benefits. More LTR stuff.

thanks I need to remind myself of this - make it a priority to WORK on building this

Quote:

Do you have character or are you vanilla?

this is what troubles me - id like to think I have tons of character and i'm a strong person but I think I come across as vanilla. I have to show what im made of a lot of people are surprised when they see it - just don't know how - literally

Quote:

If you lost interest a year ago as you said, what makes you interested now? You gotta be motivated, with everything. Instead you sound defeated.

that's just it - ive been trying to turn a lot around. my workouts were shit. my diet was shit. im totally motivated in those areas and made progress im happy with. now its time to expand in those social areas that I have been defeated in for the past couple years.

[RockHard]

(07-21-2014 03:07 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

when you approach in day game, what do you do or say that shows 'you' or makes you come across as intriguing? I could easily do a lot of day game at lunchtime at work - lots of places around. that may be a good place to start pushing

It's partly what you don't say. If she asks you about your job, don't say "I'm a manager". Say "I'm basically a bum", "You know how most people work for The Man? Well, I am The Man", or just elusive "man, that's a personal question. I don't know you well enough", or more plain "I really can't talk about it". There's a whole thread on here just on that topic. Your urge is going to be to answer her questions straight up - don't do that. Don't treat her seriously. "Amused mastery" is the frame you're after.

Second, have some stories. "You know, I was out riding my motorcycle once...", "yeah that reminds me of when I was in Mexico", whatever. This is why hobbies help. If you do fun stuff with your life, you're going to have some interesting stuff to talk about.

Check out Roosh's "Day Bang" and krauserpua.com, good sites with lots of info on there as well.

Also, this thread is active right now: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-38273.html

[RockHard]

One more thing - you can play up the fun adventurous guy thing by acting spontaneous. For instance, in your lunchtime example: "man, what a great day. No reason to be in the office, I want to go have a drink (or whatever other fun activity comes to mind). Come along with me, it'll be fun". Even if she turns you down, you're that cool guy who ditches work to go have fun, sets you up for a much better frame.

You need to get in the habit of talking to a lot of girls. The interaction doesn't have to go far, but you're going to get a sense conversationally when a girl wants to talk or eject, if she's digging you or not, AND you're going to get practice with the ideas. Reading about it online is no substitute for going out and doing it.