Sounds like you need to get some friends and get laid.
My life in ruins
Sounds about right. It's obtaining those two that are not intrinsically easy.
Quote: (07-09-2014 09:47 PM)norebly Wrote:
I hate to admit it but I don't have a personality that people are drawn to.
^^^ I honed in on this ma man. It's a problem.
Why? You're rejecting yourself even before trying.
People that reject you don't know you AT ALL. YOU DO!
After being rejected by girls (which happens to me immensely) I think about how I rejected myself not how she rejected me. Because her rejection doesn't matter. I'm using my conscious mind to do that. It just needs work.
You're living in your head. Check out the approach anxiety threads on the forum. They will help.
And I see a theme of "lack of follow through" in the tone of your posts. For example, I see a lot of you're "doing" and "looking into." I would say that you should do something from start to finish and then move on to something else and do the same.
Get that feeling of accomplishment into your system.
Good luck and we're all looking forward to hearing more.
Cobra is on point here, I noticed the same things. I can actually sympathize with some of this.
1. See a psychologist...I've seen some hate on this profession in the manosphere, but for me, because of a few years of therapy, I some deep shit figured out. Secondly, I knew how to assess my emotions in the future, why I felt things. Last, part of the reason it works is because you develop a really strong relationship with somebody, even if you're paying for it, and it's someone who will challenge you and ask the tough questions.
2. Figure out your alpha-ness and exploit it. Thank the Lord we aren't lions and it's not just about size and strength. For some guys it's knowing the bouncers and bartenders, for some it's 1 on 1 with people, for some it's entertaining the crowd, maybe it's empathy, maybe it's dancing.
3. "My strength is made perfect in weakness." Continuing from #2, you don't have to have a personality "people" are drawn to. Who are these "people". I got news for ya, alphas and leaders are only there because of followers. You don't have to captivate the audiences to be alpha. That fat loser from high school, if he makes it through that, probably has a lot of shit to offer the world. This goes for bros and hos, but for bros, it actually makes us more attractive. Regardless of your beliefs, read this Bible quote, memorize it, and you'll begin to understand it and see it's truth in all areas of life. Gotta own that shit. Own your weaknesses. They're like shadows...shed some light on them and they disappear.
4. Do something that scares you or you think is impossible. For me (not sure this is you)...I need to quit my job. I need to approach more. I need to travel alone. Basically I need to say "fuck you world" and do what the hell I want. Take quitting the job for instance. Probably if I quit my job, that very act would make me better at my job. It happened with my marriage. The very act of admitting to myself I wanted a divorce made me way more ready for a relationship with my wife. 'Course the bridge had been burned by then, but you get the idea.
1. See a psychologist...I've seen some hate on this profession in the manosphere, but for me, because of a few years of therapy, I some deep shit figured out. Secondly, I knew how to assess my emotions in the future, why I felt things. Last, part of the reason it works is because you develop a really strong relationship with somebody, even if you're paying for it, and it's someone who will challenge you and ask the tough questions.
2. Figure out your alpha-ness and exploit it. Thank the Lord we aren't lions and it's not just about size and strength. For some guys it's knowing the bouncers and bartenders, for some it's 1 on 1 with people, for some it's entertaining the crowd, maybe it's empathy, maybe it's dancing.
3. "My strength is made perfect in weakness." Continuing from #2, you don't have to have a personality "people" are drawn to. Who are these "people". I got news for ya, alphas and leaders are only there because of followers. You don't have to captivate the audiences to be alpha. That fat loser from high school, if he makes it through that, probably has a lot of shit to offer the world. This goes for bros and hos, but for bros, it actually makes us more attractive. Regardless of your beliefs, read this Bible quote, memorize it, and you'll begin to understand it and see it's truth in all areas of life. Gotta own that shit. Own your weaknesses. They're like shadows...shed some light on them and they disappear.
4. Do something that scares you or you think is impossible. For me (not sure this is you)...I need to quit my job. I need to approach more. I need to travel alone. Basically I need to say "fuck you world" and do what the hell I want. Take quitting the job for instance. Probably if I quit my job, that very act would make me better at my job. It happened with my marriage. The very act of admitting to myself I wanted a divorce made me way more ready for a relationship with my wife. 'Course the bridge had been burned by then, but you get the idea.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Yes, you guys are right. I have a lack of follow through right now. I don't seem to have the desire to do anything besides have sex. Will lack of sex do that to someone? I didn't seem to have that problem when I was a virgin less than a handful of years ago.
Quote: (07-11-2014 10:44 AM)Cobra Wrote:
Quote: (07-09-2014 09:47 PM)norebly Wrote:
I hate to admit it but I don't have a personality that people are drawn to.
^^^ I honed in on this ma man. It's a problem.
Why? You're rejecting yourself even before trying.
People that reject you don't know you AT ALL. YOU DO!
I think this is something that I've been forgetting for quite a while. Thanks for the reminder.
After being rejected by girls (which happens to me immensely) I think about how I rejected myself not how she rejected me. Because her rejection doesn't matter. I'm using my conscious mind to do that. It just needs work.
You're living in your head. Check out the approach anxiety threads on the forum. They will help.
And I see a theme of "lack of follow through" in the tone of your posts. For example, I see a lot of you're "doing" and "looking into." I would say that you should do something from start to finish and then move on to something else and do the same.
Get that feeling of accomplishment into your system.
Good luck and we're all looking forward to hearing more.
See a therapist. It is very important that you do so. Things can get worse and you can start having other, "not good" thoughts about yourself. Multivitamins will help you, especially b6 and b12 but will not completely solve your problem. Finally, go ck your thyroxine levels.- thyroid gland- adrenals. You can be suffering from hypothyroidism even though you are 24 year old. Have seen people with similar problems and they are doing just ok after taking a 50ug t4 pill for thyroid problems.
Low self esteem will cause such problems but you need to find out if there is a biological reason behind all this, as mentioned in my previous post or not! So either the therapist and-or the right medication will solve your problem. Dont worry.
Men need to conquer and achieve in order to feel alive. You need some sense of direction. Set some short term and long term goals. These goals shouldn't all be arbitrary. They should build on top of each other. Eventually you'll be in a better place than where you started. Personally, professionally and spiritually. Good luck.
Team Nachos
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