[_Samo_]

First thing, I don't drink alcohol of any kind or smoke at all.

To my question, i recently had a first date with a girl who seed a typical "party girl" and by that I mean smoking, drugs, alcohol etc. the date didn't go to well as I was feeling rather shit on the day and didn't try at all to game her (poor excuse maybe but truth).
She asked me about clubs, drinking and smoking, I answered honestly that I don't do any which is true. Long story short, I didn't even try to go for a kiss because I just knew there was no connection at all and I felt like shit that day. A few weeks later I text her trying to meet up again (I was bored/no new leads), not surprisingly she doesn't seem keen and says not soon to which I ask why? She says I'm boring. I delete the number.

Anyway, this is a few months on I've completely forgot about this bitch when I'm with a buddy who has some fruity flavoured cigars (no tobacco). They look to give off unreal amount of smoke so I take a puff, my buddy takes a pic and the pic looks pretty sick I won't lie, so I post it on a social networking site and the girl who said I'm boring I'm still friends with (don't use site often) she like the pic straight away.


Next thing she messages me and asks about it and general stuff, I decide to just bullshit her and say I was joking about not smoking and drinking and all that stuff, suddenly she's super flirty (she was never like this at any point) and starts saying how handsome I am, wtf? Then she texts me the next day continuing this and wants to meet up this week. Weird.

So my question is, when you know a girl is a certain type is it better to lie to seem like you have common ground? For the record I don't give a shit about this girl, I want to bang but nothing more, just asking for future reference.

[Donkey_Riding]

(07-06-2014 09:56 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

So my question is, when you know a girl is a certain type is it better to lie to seem like you have common ground? For the record I don't give a shit about this girl, I want to bang but nothing more, just asking for future reference.

I don't think it makes sense to lie in this kind of situation. If you say that you smoke or drink, she will probably want to smoke or drink with you when you see her--and then how do you maintain the fiction?

I think that what matters in something like this is how you frame your response. Explain why you don't smoke or drink, e.g. "They call alcohol a social lubricant but I think a lot of people use it as a crutch. I don't need to drink to have fun socializing." This portrays your decision as a strong personal choice and maintains that you're still a fun, social guy.

It seems to me that the reason she called you boring was because you seemed to be a square and you didn't put in any effort gaming her (as you admitted). She probably became interested again because seeing you smoke after you said you didn't smoke adds a mystery factor and surprises her, thus creating intrigue and drama. "Why did he lie to me?" she wonders.

[Noir]

No, this is stupid. Why lie? You're just wasting her and your time.

[younggamer1992]

I don't see the problem. Women lie about stuff all the time.
Guys who smoke and drink will get laid more. It may seem beta and try-hard, but I smoke cigarettes for the sole purpose of looking good to women. It's like women wearing makeup. I don't feel addicted nor do I crave them, I simply smoke them because it's a good look to most women.

[JayNull]

(07-07-2014 02:06 PM)younggamer1992 Wrote:  

I don't see the problem. Women lie about stuff all the time.
Guys who smoke and drink will get laid more. It may seem beta and try-hard, but I smoke cigarettes for the sole purpose of looking good to women. It's like women wearing makeup. I don't feel addicted nor do I crave them, I simply smoke them because it's a good look to most women.

One minute you're smoking to look good to women. Next minute, you've picked up a habit that's hard to kick. I don't see the benefit in faking something for the sake looking better. All you are doing lying to yourself. Its like saying "I do coke for the sole purpose of looking good to women. I don't feel addicted nor do I crave them, I smile snort because it's a good look to most women." Why lie to gain approval?

[_Samo_]

For the record, I don't smoke or drink because I'm into fitness allot and work out nearly everyday. I'm sure as hell not going potentially ruin my health for no woman. I'm just going to go along with this lie as I feel I'm getting laid from it.

[From Vegas to Tokyo]

Don't change yourself to get laid first of all. You're playing into their frame, which will never work. Also, with the liquor and drug scene, it's easy to tell the people who are all talk from the people who actually do all the stuff.

Also, maybe tweak your game style away from party girls. It probably will never work with you and a party girl. You'll be asleep when she wants to bang at 4:30 in the morning on a sunday. It probably will never work.

Try day game. Girls tend to be more diverse, and while party girls do do things in the day, you get a broader cross section during the day, whereas nightgame is almost exclusively party girls. Play to your strengths, don't try to scramble to cover for your weaknesses. Turn the drinking thing into a plus, not a minus. You can't really turn "I don't party" into a plus with a party girl, but you can with a "good girl" who never goes out or does any partying.

[_Samo_]

I thought this girl was easy meat, I don't usually go for party girls. I prefer mini relationships as opposed to just banging easy sluts once. So I don't come across this type of girl often.

[SydneyD]

what if she wants to get high with you?

You haven't thought about that have you

[Dr. Howard]

(07-07-2014 08:40 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

For the record, I don't smoke or drink because I'm into fitness allot and work out nearly everyday. I'm sure as hell not going potentially ruin my health for no woman. I'm just going to go along with this lie as I feel I'm getting laid from it.

I would go with the answer you just gave "I don't drink or smoke because I work out alot...and like to stay in good shape (I added that last part for you). It will provide a positive frame for your choice and shame her (implies that she doesn't stay in good shape).

If the girl is into you and you maintain a good attraction she will justify why she drinks/smokes.

I did not drink much in my younger days but it worked in my favor, especially with text game. I would day game, go to bed early and then wake myself up at about midnight to text girls that were out drinking. Usually I could convince one to take a cab from the bar to my apartment.

not smoking/drinking is not a deal breaker at all. Daygame and text game.

[20Nation]

Don't lie about it, you can tease her about it in a fun way. Or tell a funny story about why you don't drink or smoke instead

[cmrocks]

I stopped drinking/smoking weed for a year when my brother was trying to recover from his heroin addiction. I did it as a show of solidarity. I was dating during this time period and I would say exactly that. Most people were very respectful when I told them that I wasn't drinking for that reason.

[Cr33pin]

I tend to not lie about anything when gaming. Sometimes I blow off or divert questions about things such as my notch count. Other then that I'm honest as fuck.

However if it was a last chance type thing, I'm going for the bang that night and will never see the girl again or something... I may smudge the truth to try to escalate as a last ditch effort type of thing.

[Donkey_Riding]

(07-07-2014 08:40 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

For the record, I don't smoke or drink because I'm into fitness allot and work out nearly everyday. I'm sure as hell not going potentially ruin my health for no woman. I'm just going to go along with this lie as I feel I'm getting laid from it.

Lots of studies suggest that 1-2 drinks per day for men is beneficial for health. e.g. http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/art...9707020074

[blacknwhitespade]

Funny, I have the opposite concern. I like clean-living women who don't smoke and drink lightly, so I click "No" on smoking option on dating sites, even though I do indulge once every few months in a few cigs and I enjoy the occasional hookah bar experience.

[LaserBear]

I've always went with "fuck it I'll be honest about it" on any circumstance. Laughed while telling coke and molly stories to virgins, blathered about hiking in Yosemitie to party chicks who've never spent a weekend outdoors.
Its got me more girls than its cost me. (Or I forget the failures... same result to me)

Its not what you say, its the confidence you say it with. You considering lying is you thinking you could be better FOR her. Fuck that. Bitch I'm perfect and getting better everyday.

Don't worry about what you're selling, be passionate about how you're selling.
The goal isn't to be her ideal adventure, its to be the adventure she didn't know she wanted till now.

Besides, if you claim to be all party bro... she's gonna wanna party bro.
Next time a girl is like, "Wait, you don't club?" Be like, "Its not for me, rather spend my weekends *interesting activity you do that girl will find attractive *."
Just saying no, you're boring.
Saying you'd rather be camping, hiking, float trip, laying out staring at the stars, anything... is better than just letting her win and feeling bad for not partying.
You made the choice not to, own it.

And if you don't have some cool thing you do that people would want to join you for... Find one. Don't be that dude who can only say "I watched Netflix" when they ask what you did this weekend.

[Sonsowey]

It's great that you are dedicated to your health. But plenty of healthy people have bad little habits.

If you don't smoke or drink, cool, stick with it. But doing so in moderation wouldn't absolutely kill you any more than an occasional piece of cake will. You may simply dry indulging a little more and seeing how you feel about it. Keep it minimal and under control. But a drink here and there isn't gonna kill you man.

[CJ]

(07-08-2014 08:56 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

I thought this girl was easy meat, I don't usually go for party girls. I prefer mini relationships as opposed to just banging easy sluts once. So I don't come across this type of girl often.

Here's an idea then, why not go for a girl with similar interests in fitness and doesn't drink/smoke excessively. You're doing yourself no favors lying here, and as soon as you hang out she'll see right through it (unless she's really fucked up).

[Saweeep]

The way I see it is that if you give enough of a fuck to lie about your lifestyle choices to a girl, your game and frame needs work.

Be proud of the choices you make and who you are my friend, popular or not.

[Talekhine]

(07-17-2014 01:30 PM)cmrocks Wrote:  

I stopped drinking/smoking weed for a year when my brother was trying to recover from his heroin addiction. I did it as a show of solidarity.

I wouldn't personally lie about this, but if I were going to lie to a party girl who would likely think it was "boring" to not drink, I think this is the perfect lie. It conveys that you do normally drink/smoke so you're not "boring", and also conveys that you're a good friend.

I'd probably tell the girl I'm doing it for another month or two, so if she's imagining a future together it doesn't seem like a big deal to her. If I kept seeing her after the deadline I originally told her, I'd just say that I realized I felt great after I stopped drinking, so I want to keep it going (you should be having sex with her at that point anyway).

[puckerman]

The better question is: why are you putting so much effort into a lung cancer fetishist? For every minute you spend with her, you could spend time with a girl who doesn't want to get lung cancer.

[aphelion]

Agree with everyone's assessment here.

I'm living in Poland at the moment and the amount of social pressure I get from not drinking (anymore) is enormous.

I used to think I needed alcohol to get laid. Now I think that it might actually be better for me not to drink. I've been out with two girls lately, both of whom drank a bit and I didn't. Didn't matter once I explained why I wasn't drinking and that I wasn't judgmental or anything. On the other hand, my game was able to run unimpaired, so really it was probably a net positive. Not to mention that my liver is thanking me.

[younggamer1992]

(07-07-2014 03:28 PM)JayNull Wrote:  

(07-07-2014 02:06 PM)younggamer1992 Wrote:  

I don't see the problem. Women lie about stuff all the time.
Guys who smoke and drink will get laid more. It may seem beta and try-hard, but I smoke cigarettes for the sole purpose of looking good to women. It's like women wearing makeup. I don't feel addicted nor do I crave them, I simply smoke them because it's a good look to most women.

One minute you're smoking to look good to women. Next minute, you've picked up a habit that's hard to kick. I don't see the benefit in faking something for the sake looking better. All you are doing lying to yourself. Its like saying "I do coke for the sole purpose of looking good to women. I don't feel addicted nor do I crave them, I smile snort because it's a good look to most women." Why lie to gain approval?

Everyone pretty much starts to "look cool" in some way or the other, and may get addicted in the process. Everyone starts somewhere, why would this make them a poser? No one is born with a cigarette addiction..

[JofSuperman]

I would say invite her over, smoke some of the fake cigars with her and bang her. Seems she wants the D and is prime to come over for any reason, if you have to lie, tell her one of your friends has the hook up with drugs, and she'll be hopping on your cock. I don't do drugs, but one thing I know is drug dealers fuck all the time, party favors is the term I believe lol.

[younggamer1992]

I know guys who are straight up ugly but who get girls simply because they're drug dealers. It's no secret. There's nothing more unattractive to a woman than a guy who doesn't do drugs or for god sakes even drink?? That's legal.. You seem uptight and uncool(to women). I'm not saying you have to snort coke every weekend but beer Atleast, and an occasional marijuana indulgence..