[The Father]

A little rusty on the game front. Maybe someone can suggest how i could have done better?

Today I was in a shoe repair store. Met a stunning young woman, late 20's or early 30s (I'm mid-40s, but fit and attractive). Did a lot of quick-witted banter about how I wanted the shoe repair guy to make my high-end italian shoes look like her simple flats. We had a lot of great back and forth for 2 minutes and I got lots of IOIs. The problem is, I didn't know how to number close in such a time-constrained situation: She or I was going to walk out of that store in two minutes. So I just opened up my phone and said "put your number in here". But it came off a little rushed as we hadn't yet built much rapport. She declined. Not sure what approach would have had better luck. None, maybe, given the time constraint.

I find this situation a lot, actually: I live in a large city and find a lot of quick interactions with hot young women. But they are often in passing - the subway, etc. Need some game for time-constrained interactions.

[simondice]

(07-02-2014 11:35 PM)The Father Wrote:  

A little rusty on the game front. Maybe someone can suggest how i could have done better?

Today I was in a shoe repair store. Met a stunning young woman, late 20's or early 30s (I'm mid-40s, but fit and attractive). Did a lot of quick-witted banter about how I wanted the shoe repair guy to make my high-end italian shoes look like her simple flats. We had a lot of great back and forth for 2 minutes and I got lots of IOIs. The problem is, I didn't know how to number close in such a time-constrained situation: She or I was going to walk out of that store in two minutes. So I just opened up my phone and said "put your number in here". But it came off a little rushed as we hadn't yet built much rapport. She declined. Not sure what approach would have had better luck. None, maybe, given the time constraint.

I find this situation a lot, actually: I live in a large city and find a lot of quick interactions with hot young women. But they are often in passing - the subway, etc. Need some game for time-constrained interactions.

You should put this in the approach thread.

Answer this:

1) I think your intent wasn't on point or strong. Were you sending her a vibe of sex?
She needs to feel that testosterone, that your eyes show you want to fuck her hard and raw. This is critical.

2) Non-verbal body language wasn't on point (most likely), if you were to watch this from a stranger's perspective from far, would you say that you two looked like you guys are fucking rough? or that you too are just friends?

3) Did you touch her?

4) Witty banters are fun, but it's not what it's about, it's about her knowing that you want her sexually and that she's about to experience you, as much as you're experiencing her.

5) You're about to take her in an experience where she's not so sure about you, yet she can feel the growing tension between you two. This tension can be felt in a couple minutes (like two or three).

6) She needs to stop and listen to what you have to say, even if it's brief. A good way to stop her is if she's in a hurry say " I'm in a hurry but.."

7) Lastly, she might have a boyfriend and probably was flirting for validation (we'll never know since we're not there with you)

[polymath]

Don't change the vibe of the interaction at the moment where you're asking for the number.

"Put your number in here" can seem kind of gruff. Make a smooth transition. I might say "hey, you want to get coffee sometime and chat" or whatever, something innocuous that gets the number in my phone, then do whatever I want from there with the number. Alternatively, say something lighthearted (in a funny way) to soften the situation. "Can I get your number? I promise I'll only call to coordinate our shoe repair schedules."

Lots of guys stop being fun when they try to close a number, kiss, or other intermediary thing, like they're taking a 3-point shot at the buzzer of a playoff game and they need to be focused and serious. To the contrary, in my experience it is better to be casual and play off the situation with little to no change in my vibe.

[The Father]

(07-02-2014 11:53 PM)simondice Wrote:  

A good way to stop her is if she's in a hurry say " I'm in a hurry but.."

I like that. How about, "I'm in a hurry but would you like to grab a drink sometime?" Or since we were joking about wearing each others shoes, ""I'm in a hurry but would you like to try on each others shoes again sometime?"

[The Father]

(07-03-2014 12:31 AM)polymath Wrote:  

Don't change the vibe of the interaction at the moment where you're asking for the number.

"Put your number in here" can seem kind of gruff. Make a smooth transition. I might say "hey, you want to get coffee sometime and chat" or whatever, something innocuous that gets the number in my phone, then do whatever I want from there with the number. Alternatively, say something lighthearted (in a funny way) to soften the situation. "Can I get your number? I promise I'll only call to coordinate our shoe repair schedules."

Lots of guys stop being fun when they try to close a number, kiss, or other intermediary thing, like they're taking a 3-point shot at the buzzer of a playoff game and they need to be focused and serious. To the contrary, in my experience it is better to be casual and play off the situation with little to no change in my vibe.

Excellent advice - thanks!

[NCS]

(07-03-2014 12:06 PM)The Father Wrote:  

I like that. How about, "I'm in a hurry but would you like to grab a drink sometime?" Or since we were joking about wearing each others shoes, ""I'm in a hurry but would you like to try on each others shoes again sometime?"

You don't want to be asking, you want to be leading when you can. Consider this instead:

"I'm in a hurry but let's grab a drink later this week, give me your number and we'll work the details of that shoe swap thing out"

[Ensam]

You gotta read the situation. Sometimes being a little more direct works, "Hey, I'd like to take you out for a drink. What's your number?" can be very effective. But it really depends on the girl.

[WestIndianArchie]

Applause for having the balls to approach, converse, and escalate.

Have yourself a glass of scotch or a name brand bottle of gatorade!

My break down
________________________________________
1. she was attracted enough to banter with you
2. she might not have had enough
- attraction
- comfort
- or both

Solutions
_______________________________________

Tweaking your language like everyone says is probably the only thing you have to play here. Maybe a little more attraction and comfort, and a plausible way to get her # that doesn't bring sex possibilities to the forefront.

But in my mind these kind of limited interaction situations call for spot game, which is very direct, but compared to situations where yo have more time, low conversion rates. But 3% is better than 0.

Scenario
- Useful for elevators, bus stops, train stations, waiting in lines
- Requires props, specifically business cards

*banter*
*banter is drawing to a close*

"looks like i'm about to get off on my floor/my bus stop/my train station"
"I like talking to you, I get a sense about you"
"here's my card"

*letterpress, heavy white stock, simple design, I need a good one for my job*

West Indian Archie
In-House Counsel
(160) 917-49311
[email protected]
http://www.wutangfinancial.com
"Diversify ya Bonds"

*open your left hand*
*she puts her right hand in your left*
*place card in her hand with your right*
*the lightest of squeezes*

*end the conversation*....
*leave*

____________________

A lot of guys are tempted to big bait a conversation with
"you work where?, oh I work at so and so..."
"I'm a *insert baller job*"

You don't want to lead with beta provider stats, or dangle a job at her. (although sometimes a chick will spread them legs if you're @ Goldman and she's smart enough to know what Bulge Bracket means)

....

But even with polished business card gain, much like business, your returns will be few. Those chicks that take the proactive steps to call you...they're golden.

If you're doing this at a bar, and for whatever reason you can't isolate, instadate, or need to provide some kinda plausible deniability, make it a point to flip the card over, write out your #, and put something above your # that she'll remember (not your name though, that's on the front). But it's a little bit of a performance, giving you time to ping her with some more questions.

Sometimes these approaches float off into the ether. They only end up being valuable in that they charge you up, because you know you still got it.

But I think you did as well as could be expected, given the circumstances.

WIA

[The Father]

(07-03-2014 09:53 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Applause for having the balls to approach, converse, and escalate.

Have yourself a glass of scotch or a name brand bottle of gatorade!

My break down
________________________________________
1. she was attracted enough to banter with you
2. she might not have had enough
- attraction
- comfort
- or both

Solutions
_______________________________________

Tweaking your language like everyone says is probably the only thing you have to play here. Maybe a little more attraction and comfort, and a plausible way to get her # that doesn't bring sex possibilities to the forefront.

But in my mind these kind of limited interaction situations call for spot game, which is very direct, but compared to situations where yo have more time, low conversion rates. But 3% is better than 0.

Scenario
- Useful for elevators, bus stops, train stations, waiting in lines
- Requires props, specifically business cards

*banter*
*banter is drawing to a close*

"looks like i'm about to get off on my floor/my bus stop/my train station"
"I like talking to you, I get a sense about you"
"here's my card"

*letterpress, heavy white stock, simple design, I need a good one for my job*

West Indian Archie
In-House Counsel
(160) 917-49311
[email protected]
http://www.wutangfinancial.com
"Diversify ya Bonds"

*open your left hand*
*she puts her right hand in your left*
*place card in her hand with your right*
*the lightest of squeezes*

*end the conversation*....
*leave*

____________________

A lot of guys are tempted to big bait a conversation with
"you work where?, oh I work at so and so..."
"I'm a *insert baller job*"

You don't want to lead with beta provider stats, or dangle a job at her. (although sometimes a chick will spread them legs if you're @ Goldman and she's smart enough to know what Bulge Bracket means)

....

But even with polished business card gain, much like business, your returns will be few. Those chicks that take the proactive steps to call you...they're golden.

If you're doing this at a bar, and for whatever reason you can't isolate, instadate, or need to provide some kinda plausible deniability, make it a point to flip the card over, write out your #, and put something above your # that she'll remember (not your name though, that's on the front). But it's a little bit of a performance, giving you time to ping her with some more questions.

Sometimes these approaches float off into the ether. They only end up being valuable in that they charge you up, because you know you still got it.

But I think you did as well as could be expected, given the circumstances.

WIA

Magnificent reply. Thank you!

[CJ]

I actually was thinking this would be a good idea for a thread, not for one person in specific, but for people to post what they think the leaks in their game are and how they think they should fix them.

Mine are pretty easy, as I still feel like I drink too much, but dammit it's still fun! I could also stand to tighten up my day game, as I just don't practice that enough.

[The Father]

OK, so I reread Roosh's "Day Game", and I'm embarrassed at how rusty my game has gotten (I've mostly had GF's the past few years so my hunting skills have diminished as much as that snow leopard in the zoo who gets his meals handed to him).

It's clear to me that I clumsily stampeded into "Putyournumberinmyphone" without even doing any transitional steps. Look, this is day game, and time was limited as she was paying at the register, so it's not like a club where I'd have 5 hours to close. BUT, some basic transition was needed. Given the time constraint, I likely couldn't do Roosh's full GALNUC day game close routine, but I could at least have gotten her name, found out where she liked to hang out (or in this case buy shoes), and then closed. And since we were both in a business district that no one visits unless they work there, we obviously worked within a few blocks of each other, so I easily could've said "well you probably work nearby so would you like to meet for a cup of coffee some time"?

Look, given the age difference and the fact that she was smokin', I would regard any of these approaches as a Hail Mary pass at best. But a certain percentage of hail mary passes DO pay off. At least a better percentage than clumsy inept game. Or staying silent. You know what the percentage is on being butt hurt and staying silent? Zero!

[The Father]

(07-04-2014 01:47 PM)CJ Wrote:  

I actually was thinking this would be a good idea for a thread, not for one person in specific, but for people to post what they think the leaks in their game are and how they think they should fix them.

Mine are pretty easy, as I still feel like I drink too much, but dammit it's still fun! I could also stand to tighten up my day game, as I just don't practice that enough.

Yeah, my game has gotten pretty sloppy when I've gotten buzzed. Which is a pity, because the girls defenses are REALLY down when they are buzzed. Still, I've had so much fun those nights I can't complain

[XXL]

(07-02-2014 11:35 PM)The Father Wrote:  

We had a lot of great back and forth for 2 minutes and I got lots of IOIs. The problem is, I didn't know how to number close in such a time-constrained situation: She or I was going to walk out of that store in two minutes. So I just opened up my phone and said "put your number in here".

I'd tell her "hey I'm enjoying this conversation, I'll walk with you for 5 minutes if you don't mind [empathy] and then I'm gonna go [time constraint]". And I'd walk out from that store with her with 5 minutes deadline in mind, at least at first cause time constraint is just an excuse to buy more time. Often that deadline becomes irrelevant as you both get lost in the moment and 5 minutes turn into 30 minutes. Outside I'd flirt with her and imply that I want to see her again to check how open she is to that. Following her out of the store is kind of bad in theory but as long as she's enjoying the convo persistence is OK.

I've learned to narrate a lot in the conversation. So for example, saying "I'm enjoying this conversation" is super obvious to me but it might not be for the other person. Saying something out loud makes it very official so to speak so that the other person can register it. Similar with "I'm gonna go after 5 minutes", before I say it out loud the girl doesn't know whether I will leave or not so by not telling her that I risk her getting more uncomfortable so my charm can't reach her when she's closed towards me. Same with talking about meeting up again BEFORE taking her number, by doing it now she knows where I'm going with it and has a choice to give me subtle signs that she's interested or not. Things like that prevent from typical scenario of having short casual chit chat followed by pity phone number request.

I thought that saying stuff like that is super lame since it's soooo obvious TO ME but once it hit me. THE GIRL ONLY KNOWS WHAT SHE SEES/HEARS. So if she doesn't hear me saying that I'm actually enjoying the convo with her or that I'm leaving soon or that I want to take that interaction further she doesn't know what to expect or what's the point of this random conversation. Kind of like "seek to understand to be understood" thing. It creates comfort and comfort is crucial.

Sorry for wall of text but I wanted to paint a bigger picture for you instead of just telling you what to do.

[The Father]

(07-05-2014 03:03 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(07-02-2014 11:35 PM)The Father Wrote:  

We had a lot of great back and forth for 2 minutes and I got lots of IOIs. The problem is, I didn't know how to number close in such a time-constrained situation: She or I was going to walk out of that store in two minutes. So I just opened up my phone and said "put your number in here".

I'd tell her "hey I'm enjoying this conversation, I'll walk with you for 5 minutes if you don't mind [empathy] and then I'm gonna go [time constraint]". And I'd walk out from that store with her with 5 minutes deadline in mind, at least at first cause time constraint is just an excuse to buy more time. Often that deadline becomes irrelevant as you both get lost in the moment and 5 minutes turn into 30 minutes. Outside I'd flirt with her and imply that I want to see her again to check how open she is to that. Following her out of the store is kind of bad in theory but as long as she's enjoying the convo persistence is OK.

I've learned to narrate a lot in the conversation. So for example, saying "I'm enjoying this conversation" is super obvious to me but it might not be for the other person. Saying something out loud makes it very official so to speak so that the other person can register it. Similar with "I'm gonna go after 5 minutes", before I say it out loud the girl doesn't know whether I will leave or not so by not telling her that I risk her getting more uncomfortable so my charm can't reach her when she's closed towards me. Same with talking about meeting up again BEFORE taking her number, by doing it now she knows where I'm going with it and has a choice to give me subtle signs that she's interested or not. Things like that prevent from typical scenario of having short casual chit chat followed by pity phone number request.

I thought that saying stuff like that is super lame since it's soooo obvious TO ME but once it hit me. THE GIRL ONLY KNOWS WHAT SHE SEES/HEARS. So if she doesn't hear me saying that I'm actually enjoying the convo with her or that I'm leaving soon or that I want to take that interaction further she doesn't know what to expect or what's the point of this random conversation. Kind of like "seek to understand to be understood" thing. It creates comfort and comfort is crucial.

Sorry for wall of text but I wanted to paint a bigger picture for you instead of just telling you what to do.

More good advice. THANK YOU!