[tylerdurden1993]

Searched the forum and couldn't find a discussion on techniques for breaking up with girls you're in a casual relationship with.

As most of the relationships between men and women in their 20s these days seems to start of/consist of this casual fuckbuddy relationship the ending of these relationships in a drama free way and with an option of restarting the relationship if your situation changes, is overlooked in "game" I think.

The techniques for achieving this are needed for players of all levels from beginners breaking it off with a fuckbuddy their bored fucking with, to a veteran who needs to make space in his harem but doesn't want to permanently sever ties with the girl in question.

The 3 techniques that I can think of include.

Breaking of all contact this is basically when you cease all contact with her suddenly and without warning. Surprisingly this worked with a girl i'd previously had a one night stand with. I didn't contact her at all after the one night stand so fast forward 8 months later at 3am I text her out of the blue and 15 minutes later I was in a taxi to hers.

"The fade" this is when you contact the girl less and less until you gradually cease all contact with her. This seems like the best method for breaking up a casual relationship with the option of hitting her up again under the guise of loosing contact and wanting to catch up

The final technique is when you act beta in the hope she loses interest and fades from you. This could work in theory but in practice I could imagine a lot could go wrong

So which one of these techniques works for you? Are there any other techniques which you've found to be better?

[kaotic]

The classic fade usually works for me. God forbid you go to the cutoff move and she screams rape.

I've never really gone beta, a few years ago I did, and the chick instantly broke contact, lesson learned.

It's even better when you bang them out a few times and they say "i don't think we should see each other anymore"....wait we were seeing each other ?

[JayJuanGee]

(06-25-2014 05:17 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  

Searched the forum and couldn't find a discussion on techniques for breaking up with girls you're in a casual relationship with.

As most of the relationships between men and women in their 20s these days seems to start of/consist of this casual fuckbuddy relationship the ending of these relationships in a drama free way and with an option of restarting the relationship if your situation changes, is overlooked in "game" I think.

The techniques for achieving this are needed for players of all levels from beginners breaking it off with a fuckbuddy their bored fucking with, to a veteran who needs to make space in his harem but doesn't want to permanently sever ties with the girl in question.

The 3 techniques that I can think of include.

Breaking of all contact this is basically when you cease all contact with her suddenly and without warning. Surprisingly this worked with a girl i'd previously had a one night stand with. I didn't contact her at all after the one night stand so fast forward 8 months later at 3am I text her out of the blue and 15 minutes later I was in a taxi to hers.

"The fade" this is when you contact the girl less and less until you gradually cease all contact with her. This seems like the best method for breaking up a casual relationship with the option of hitting her up again under the guise of loosing contact and wanting to catch up

The final technique is when you act beta in the hope she loses interest and fades from you. This could work in theory but in practice I could imagine a lot could go wrong

So which one of these techniques works for you? Are there any other techniques which you've found to be better?

I think also sometimes a guy can reestablish (modify) his relationship with the girl in such a way that every single activity is on his terms in order to force the girl into a choice of self-preservation. Guys probably have a tendency to engage in this kind of self-centered behavior when relationships begin to unwillingly convert into LTRs.

Several times I have conducted myself in a very selfish manner to force the girl to move on and away from wanting to spend time with me, yet sometimes acting really selfish does NOT work to get rid of the girl b/c for some reason, she gets more attached, then another one of the above-described techniques may need to be considered and employed.

[slubu]

I almost always go with the fade. The beta route is only for emergencies, such as when I got drunk and banged one of my client's employees. I need to do some serious damage control there.

[Kilgo]

The spinning plates theory would suggest you fade -- which is how it usually works for me. Unless she stays too long the next day when you want her to leave so you can get some shit done or watch football or whatever. Or if she gets super clingy/needy. Nobody should put up with that.

But in general, having pussy on standby is not a bad idea. Takes down the appearance of desperation, which can sabotage your game. Plus it feeds into the seemingly unconscious way that a woman can tell that other women want you.

And I agree with slubu -- the beta route is only for emergency use.

[Suits]

I have a winning technique.

I relocate to a different continent. It works really well.

However, provided that you live somewhere where you are unlikely to run into a girl you've dumped, moving apartments and telling her that your company is transferring you again should probably do the trick.

[The Father]

The Fade works well. It's the most low-conflict technique, which is well advised with women.

Another one I've used is to say that an old ex has moved back to town and wanted to get together. I say "I really didn't want to, but I feel I never gave her closure so I met with her briefly. There was no chemistry". Then, a few weeks later you say that you've seen this person a few more times and we've reconnected, blah blah blah, and since she and I have WAY more history than you and I, I want to see where this goes. So I'm going to give this a chance". Blah blah blah.

[jamaicabound]

I thin the first strategy is called ghosting. I'm not a fan of this strategy. I'm not saying you owe a girl anything after a one night stand but if you been kicking it and hooking up for a few weeks at least have the courtesy not to just disapear. I think its kinda beta pussy thing to do to be scared to tell a chick you don't wanna see her anymore.

I been ghosted on and though its not like it destroyed me or anything its just kinda annoying like wtf. If nothing else just kinda curious like was I a bad lay, is she just crazy, just not knowing kinda sucks.

I kinda like to follow the trea others as I'd like to be treated model. You can be a player and date multiple girls and have casual hookups and not go out of your way to shit on peoples heads or be an asshhole. Honestly doing this also hurts other dudes too cuz if you fuck a girl for a few weeks and ghost on her and then I pick up on her a few weeks later your gonn make it harder on me. If I leave a girl I like to leave her feeeling good about the experience, plus that leaves the door open to come back.

I'm not opposed to the fading away because that's just the naturla progression of many relationships or friendships or whatever.

I'm not a fan of the third strategy. The girls I wanna get rid of are never the girls who will make the move and get rid of me so if I dont wanna see someone I'll be upfront with them and let them know its been fun but... fill in the blank.

[Levi]

ghosting is the only way ive ever known... drawing shit out is just monotonous.

[Onto]

Those are all good techniques. Another technique I've used is to simply tell her that I don't "feel" there's a future in this and it would be "unfair" for me to waste her time and keep her from meeting someone else she can have that with.

Now she will say this and that, etc. and try to get you to "explain" your "reasons".

Funny isn't it? Women place "feelings" as primary and "reason" secondary…..that is until she want's answers.

So I just throw it back and say, "I can't explain it or give reasons. It's just what I feel."

Then, the hard part…..when she realizes she can't keep you she will get angry, upset, accusatory, etc. I just listen, keep quite, maybe nod my head once in a while and say, "I understand".

Eventually, after her emotional dump is done, they accept it and have even "thanked me" for listening!

That's all they really want, someone strong enough to endure the typhoon of their emotions. They don't understand how hard it is for us to do that, but are grateful when we do.

[Teddykgb]

After fading if they still text me I just have gone with "I'm seeing someone now"

I've had responses like "thanks for telling me", "ok I guess it was nice knowing you then..." and also no response.

[horn]

That's what I do, just tell them I met someone else, or started seeing an ex- again, and I still want to be friends with them, but....

They will usually slink away. That, or they will come over, blow you, make you dinner, blow you again, and wake you up to swallow a 3rd time.

[Truth Teller]

(06-25-2014 05:17 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  

Searched the forum and couldn't find a discussion on techniques for breaking up with girls you're in a casual relationship with.

As most of the relationships between men and women in their 20s these days seems to start of/consist of this casual fuckbuddy relationship the ending of these relationships in a drama free way and with an option of restarting the relationship if your situation changes, is overlooked in "game" I think.

The techniques for achieving this are needed for players of all levels from beginners breaking it off with a fuckbuddy their bored fucking with, to a veteran who needs to make space in his harem but doesn't want to permanently sever ties with the girl in question.

The 3 techniques that I can think of include.

Breaking of all contact this is basically when you cease all contact with her suddenly and without warning. Surprisingly this worked with a girl i'd previously had a one night stand with. I didn't contact her at all after the one night stand so fast forward 8 months later at 3am I text her out of the blue and 15 minutes later I was in a taxi to hers.

"The fade" this is when you contact the girl less and less until you gradually cease all contact with her. This seems like the best method for breaking up a casual relationship with the option of hitting her up again under the guise of loosing contact and wanting to catch up

The final technique is when you act beta in the hope she loses interest and fades from you. This could work in theory but in practice I could imagine a lot could go wrong

So which one of these techniques works for you? Are there any other techniques which you've found to be better?

I've personally done both the fade and acting beta. Acting beta actually failed miserably for me, partially because I spent a ton of time removing a lot of my beta stuff and partially because I felt it was dishonest. The fade worked a lot better for me, although I can't say it was perfect.

[casio]

I've used the fading technique, but also "I met someone - and I have a feeling it might go somewhere, it's nothing serious yet but I want to give it a chance and it's not fair for her that I'm seeing you regularly - but who knows what the future might bring."

[heavy]

I'm glad OP specified "players of all levels" because this will vary based on your level and the # of girls you have (ie where you lie on the scarcity ----abundance gradient).

My perspective...I've only once been actively seeing two girls at once and it was very brief, so read my response accordingly.
(1) It depends on the relationship you've allowed her to have with you ie how long you've known each other and how frequently you see/contact her - You can control this. Don't see a girl 3x / week and think she doesn't deserve any type of let down. I remember reading some Brad P advice that says contact 1x per week is a fuckbuddy, 2x per week is sliding toward maybe a gf, 3x per week and you probably have yourself a gf. I've learned this the hard way, and still screw this up.
(2) Her personality and level of potential crazy - you can't control or predict this, so don't worry too much about it
(3) Don't do something you don't feel comfortable doing (morals) - If you wanna lie, lie. If you wanna fake your death, do it. Just don't take a tactic from this forum unless you feel comfortable doing it, or you'll feel really guilty and that could fuck with you or this relationship you are trying to end. This is less important, because people rarely step outside of their comfort zones in these situations.

If you haven't put much time in, ghosting and fading are pretty much the same. If you've spent a lot of time with her, personally, like any relationship, I feel you should have some honesty (I'm assuming time spent -> some emotional investment -> you will actually miss her a little).

[coolmike]

Definitley the fade has always worked, and will continue to work. Its one of the techniques that will always withstand the test of time.

The fade is just so much more easier and suttle to deal with. She will get the message hopefully. I had one incident when this chick did not get the message and started blowing up my phone. Luckily AT&T has a feature where you can block up to 30 phone numbers, so I happily added her to the evergrowing list.

[Gemini]

A bit of more work (actually a lot more) than the "fade" or pull a "Casper the ghost" on her, but a classy move.

I like the use of "emotions" as an excuse. I always try to rationalize it and use some sort of reasoning with them, which never works of course.. lol

(07-19-2014 08:40 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Those are all good techniques. Another technique I've used is to simply tell her that I don't "feel" there's a future in this and it would be "unfair" for me to waste her time and keep her from meeting someone else she can have that with.

Now she will say this and that, etc. and try to get you to "explain" your "reasons".

Funny isn't it? Women place "feelings" as primary and "reason" secondary…..that is until she want's answers.

So I just throw it back and say, "I can't explain it or give reasons. It's just what I feel."

Then, the hard part…..when she realizes she can't keep you she will get angry, upset, accusatory, etc. I just listen, keep quite, maybe nod my head once in a while and say, "I understand".

Eventually, after her emotional dump is done, they accept it and have even "thanked me" for listening!

That's all they really want, someone strong enough to endure the typhoon of their emotions. They don't understand how hard it is for us to do that, but are grateful when we do.

[YossariansRight]

(06-25-2014 05:17 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  

Searched the forum and couldn't find a discussion on techniques for breaking up with girls you're in a casual relationship with.

As most of the relationships between men and women in their 20s these days seems to start of/consist of this casual fuckbuddy relationship the ending of these relationships in a drama free way and with an option of restarting the relationship if your situation changes, is overlooked in "game" I think.

The techniques for achieving this are needed for players of all levels from beginners breaking it off with a fuckbuddy their bored fucking with, to a veteran who needs to make space in his harem but doesn't want to permanently sever ties with the girl in question.

The 3 techniques that I can think of include.

Breaking of all contact this is basically when you cease all contact with her suddenly and without warning. Surprisingly this worked with a girl i'd previously had a one night stand with. I didn't contact her at all after the one night stand so fast forward 8 months later at 3am I text her out of the blue and 15 minutes later I was in a taxi to hers.

"The fade" this is when you contact the girl less and less until you gradually cease all contact with her. This seems like the best method for breaking up a casual relationship with the option of hitting her up again under the guise of loosing contact and wanting to catch up

The final technique is when you act beta in the hope she loses interest and fades from you. This could work in theory but in practice I could imagine a lot could go wrong

So which one of these techniques works for you? Are there any other techniques which you've found to be better?

I go with "the fade" or as I've always called it "the slow freeze".

Works pretty perfect to distance yourself from FWBs as well as other people or situations you're looking to eject from in a "diplomatic" way.

[Organicman]

If it blows up, the best thing is to tell her you are at the airport and going overseas for a couple months. If she is basically camping outside your house, stay at your parent's place for a couple weeks or a friend's. Block her number which you can do on most phone these days.

I had one bitch leave voicemail messages up to 1 hour long of her talking to her friends and running me down. It cost me $200+ for her to leave such a bullshit long message nearly everyday for 2 weeks on my voicemail. I was only with this girl for 1 1/2 weeks and she was already saying the L word after a week.

[OCZ]

I am going totally for the fade. It is smooth and if you see the signs you can go to break contact completely faster and if you see it can cause trouble, just keep it fading. Any sane girl will get the fade, if they don't ... well you have a crazy one right there amigo.

[Mikan]

One of the reasons the fade is so effective is its also the #1 move that women use to dump a freinds-with-benefits too. When you fade on a plate, there is a good chance, once the hamster gets running, that the women will actually believe that she was the one that Faded you.

I've had women, after reconnecting, apologize for a fade away that I pulled on her. I'm not sure how a man returning fewer and fewer of your daily attempts to communicate with him is you doing the fading, but I don't have a magical hamster.

[JayJuanGee]

(07-28-2016 03:06 PM)Mikan Wrote:  

One of the reasons the fade is so effective is its also the #1 move that women use to dump a freinds-with-benefits too. When you fade on a plate, there is a good chance, once the hamster gets running, that the women will actually believe that she was the one that Faded you.

I've had women, after reconnecting, apologize for a fade away that I pulled on her. I'm not sure how a man returning fewer and fewer of your daily attempts to communicate with him is you doing the fading, but I don't have a magical hamster.

I agree with you Mikan.. That is a very good point about the rewriting of history, and I doubt that such characteristics are exclusive to women... but really, the point about even remembering correctly may not be anywhere near intentional. Probably, a lot of us have experienced that frequently, once a chick gets pissed off, she will get caught up on a bunch of little shit that do not even seem relevant to whatever is the current issued.... so yeah, they can certainly have great memories about details and then suddenly experience a kind of selective memory lapse for some events.

Even though guys may do these selective memory rewritings in different kinds of ways, they certainly are not immuned to such. I have done it myself... actually, there may be another factor at play too, and sometimes any of us can remember exactly the way that some events had played out, but we will frequently spin the events on purpose in order to attempt to achieve better results. Whether a chick is spinning or actually believes the shit she is saying can be two separate things, as well.

[XXL]

Casual relationship is CASUAL therefore there is nothing real to break up with. However if a girl gets pushy or annoying I like to say "i'm in love let's be friends take care".

[JayJuanGee]

(07-29-2016 03:36 PM)XXL Wrote:  

Casual relationship is CASUAL therefore there is nothing real to break up with. However if a girl gets pushy or annoying I like to say "i'm in love let's be friends take care".

Regarding the bolded part above, it seems that you are attempting to negate the whole problem by redefining what is casual, and in that regard, possibly for you casual works out the same way each time.

In my experiences, casual can come off in so many different ways, and surely sometimes there can be kind of a mutual agreement and separation, but in other instances (maybe even the majority of instances?) either one or the other person starts to either get a attached to inclined towards continuing and/or increasing the meet-ups.

I am not denying that cookie cutter could work out just fine in a large number of the situations, and even burning bridges could play out well, but sometimes there can be some benefits to not burning bridges and even handling the matter more delicately in order to prevent some unnecessary drama.