[DREWPAUL]

Hi guys.
I know about pickup for many many many years and so far I basically haven't been able to do a single approach. Most times I can't evne look girls(or people in general) in the eye. I get crazy anxiety.

I figured out my problem is not that I'm a pussy(I've always been the "life of the party" if you will). It's because I sit all day behind a computer screen and almost don't talk to anybody. When I'm home I'm doing the same thing because I'm working on my "startup". This has been going for years and I'm basically stuck in the thinking/creative/"in the head" mode all the freaking time. If I'm not at home or work or a grocery store I'm exercising(no possibility for anything anyway).

I can't get loose, I feel like I can't even enjoy things and have fun anymore(at least not "in public"). I'm too uptight, too closed to the outside world.

And unfortunately this working-too-much thing will be going for some time and I can't think of anything that I could do to get out of this mode.

Socializing here and there doesn't help even a bit, since I'd need a really long exposure to people and no exposure to work for really long time(I'm talking months) to "reset" myself, which is not possible.

So I though maybe I'm missing something I could possibly do to be able to look at a girl and maybe, MAYBE, even approach her?

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Do you do any online dating?

[the-dream]

I only started working full time about 10 months ago but am in the same predicament. I work at an office job staring at a screen all day then go home and stare at a screen all night working on my business which is very bad for your social skills to say the least!

After about 4 months of having the job and spending fairly carelessly, I realised that there's a better way to live.

I set up 2 bank accounts - one for my salary for my day job and one for money from my side-business.

I spend as little as possible and only use my card from my side business in day to day life and budget my living to that money. I am saving all of my salary, as far as is possible.

I'd recommend doing the same and saving as much money as possible now to buy time later. Put a date on it too - commit yourself to quitting your job in X number on months.

As far as girls go for now, go for cheap holidays and little party breaks with your friends. That's where I've been having all of my success before I can make it into a permenant lifestyle.

[DREWPAUL]

Handsome Creepy Eel: no, I've tried id but nothing ever happened(+ I think the "market" is too small in here) and personally I think only really ugly and weird girls(or people in general) are in there.

the-dream: well, my current situation is that I work for pennies(I can berely afford rent and food), but I have the ability to work in my project in the office(so it's like coworking but they pay me ). So there is no chance of me putting aside any money. I'm making a SaaS app and unfortunately I already spent 5 years working on it(many reasons) by myself and even though I'm close to public testing it will take some time to get the first customers. And even after that I still won't have any money or time for myself so as I've said, my situation will not change in the near future(at least a year).

Though if thinkgs go well I'll be probably moving to Barcelona soon, but even then ..work work work.

[DREWPAUL]

Handsome Creepy Eel: no, I've tried id but nothing ever happened(+ I think the "market" is too small in here so you have to be really handsome or something) and personally I, based on my and my firends experiences, only really ugly and weird girls(or people in general) are in there.

the-dream: well, my current situation is that I work for pennies(I can berely afford rent and food), but I have the ability to work in my project in the office(so it's like coworking but they pay me ). So there is no chance of me putting aside any money. I'm making a SaaS app and unfortunately I already spent 5 years working on it(many reasons) by myself and even though I'm close to public testing it will take some time to get the first customers. And even after that I still won't have any money or time for myself so as I've said, my situation will not change in the near future(at least a year).

Though if thinkgs go well I'll be probably moving to Barcelona soon, but even then ..work work work.


--- sorry I just meant to edit my post, not use it as a reply.

[the-dream]

Well you're going to need to switch up your lifestyle to achieve what you want so come up with a plan on how you're going to do it and stop making excuses otherwise you'll just be in the same situation you are now forever.

If it's going to take you a year, that's a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things but I'm sure there are other ways you can do it.

It sounds like you need to move to a major city too, although you're best off staying somewhere cheap now to save up money until you can make the most of it.

[Cobra]

You have approach anxiety. Simple as that.

How well do you dress when you go out? How do you FEEL?

How many things do you do that are completely different from your daily routine? Mix it up; don't just go out to walk around. Have a PERSONAL purpose. Great example: Join a gym or even better a hobby group but join a group for something you always wanted to do or wanted to get better at.

I believe you think there is no purpose to going out and approaching and/or that your routine is more important but realize that your startup is not solely helping you become a well rounded man. When you have a personal purpose you will FEEL better.

I would also encourage taking a break and travelling. Maybe go to NYC or even maybe Thailand or Phillippines where the girls will be easier and you can get some low anxiety practice to solely get your feet wet and more importantly, RELAX.

I was where you were many times in my life and to some extent I still am. You're not alone but need to take control.

Report back. We're looking forward to your progress and happy to help.

[robreke]

(06-25-2014 10:59 AM)DREWPAUL Wrote:  

Hi guys.
I know about pickup for many many many years and so far I basically haven't been able to do a single approach. Most times I can't evne look girls(or people in general) in the eye. I get crazy anxiety.

I figured out my problem is not that I'm a pussy(I've always been the "life of the party" if you will). It's because I sit all day behind a computer screen and almost don't talk to anybody. When I'm home I'm doing the same thing because I'm working on my "startup". This has been going for years and I'm basically stuck in the thinking/creative/"in the head" mode all the freaking time. If I'm not at home or work or a grocery store I'm exercising(no possibility for anything anyway).

I can't get loose, I feel like I can't even enjoy things and have fun anymore(at least not "in public"). I'm too uptight, too closed to the outside world.

And unfortunately this working-too-much thing will be going for some time and I can't think of anything that I could do to get out of this mode.

Socializing here and there doesn't help even a bit, since I'd need a really long exposure to people and no exposure to work for really long time(I'm talking months) to "reset" myself, which is not possible.

So I though maybe I'm missing something I could possibly do to be able to look at a girl and maybe, MAYBE, even approach her?

Instead of going home, staring at a computer screen and working on your startup. Go to the local starbucks and do it assuming you have a portable laptop. Better...rotate a few each week...starbucks that is.
Read Roosh's part on coffeeshop approaches from Day Bang. Do your work there....but also approach women there. You can youtube 'approach women at coffeeshops' to see some guys doing it.
Get out of your house when you're away from work. Do your startup stuff where women are.

[Vaun]

Be realistic, how many hours a week do you work? Include commuting.

How much money has this startup made you, in the years you have neglected a social life to build it?

Opportunity cost my friend.

In my experience, another over 60 hours/week make it tough to game. If it is, find a way to combine it by;
- taking social lunch breaks
- joining a competitive gym or sport(CrossFit it perfect for this reason)
- walking more in urban populated places
- never turning down an invite to anything.

[Truth Teller]

Day game and lifestyle. You say you're building a business. Why not join a group of other entrepreneurs?

[bojangles]

When you're travelling, to work, to the gym, to the supermarket.

[WestIndianArchie]

What's more important,

Sex while you're young

Or

The chance of money and the certainty of sex with lackluster "cougars" when you're old?

WIA

[JayJuanGee]

(06-25-2014 09:12 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

What's more important,

Sex while you're young

Or

The chance of money and the certainty of sex with lackluster "cougars" when you're old?

WIA

Important questions in life, and balance as everyone seems to be saying in one way or another. The years pass by quickly, and before you know it, the young girls are less flirty, and you look in the mirror and barely recognize that older guy.

Additionally, a guy may NOT even be able to get it up when older (certainly NOT as easy). I'm in my 40s, and I have NOT yet tried viagra, cialis or testosterone, but those supplements could help in some respects. I have been considering them, though (mostly for the future or for the situation in which a second opportunity may come up in a day or some other short period of time, and the body does NOT naturally recharge like it used to).

[Travesty]

(06-25-2014 09:12 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

What's more important,

Sex while you're young

Or

The chance of money and the certainty of sex with lackluster "cougars" when you're old?

WIA

WIA,

Is there an age or small age range that is the balance point between these 2 in your mind? Just asking your subjective opinion.

Not to derail the thread, but I turned 29 a few months ago. I am thinking of living the lifestyle the OP has getting more entrepreneurial for more $. Some gut instincts tell me to hold another few years and keep chasing poon into my early 30s.

Anyone else can chime in with their opinions. My sex life would be heavily affected if I went down this road just like OP's. Maybe 20%-30% of the lays and lower quality most likely as well. Living a grinding entrepreneurial lifestyle can affect fun moods and things to talk about with girls. It definitely has to affect your game unless your company is based off modeling girls or some sort of sales or promotions where you deal with attractive women constantly.

[JayJuanGee]

(06-25-2014 10:33 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(06-25-2014 09:12 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

What's more important,

Sex while you're young

Or

The chance of money and the certainty of sex with lackluster "cougars" when you're old?

WIA

WIA,

Is there an age or small age range that is the balance point between these 2 in your mind? Just asking your subjective opinion.

Not to derail the thread, but I turned 29 a few months ago. I am thinking of living the lifestyle the OP has getting more entrepreneurial for more $. Some gut instincts tell me to hold another few years and keep chasing poon into my early 30s.

Anyone else can chime in with their opinions. My sex life would be heavily affected if I went down this road just like OP's. Maybe 20%-30% of the lays and lower quality most likely as well. Living a grinding entrepreneurial lifestyle can affect fun moods and things to talk about with girls. It definitely has to affect your game unless your company is based off modeling girls or some sort of sales or promotions where you deal with attractive women constantly.

I personally have always been in a form of deferred gratification mode, but sometimes there may be instances in which you can strive towards future financial goals and have fun at the same time.

Sometimes guys do have jobs that allow for gaming on the job, and so that should be considered.

There also seems to be a tendency that guys who are financially successful are going to be more successful with attaining DHV in the eyes of women, which makes it easier to game them.

Within the next year, I probably will NOT need to work very much, and at least whatever little work that I do can be location independent. Accordingly, I have planned for something like this by deferring gratification, and with my acquired location independence, I am planning to travel the world, but I still do NOT have as much energy as I had in my 20s and 30s... so there has been some sacrifice along the way in achieving some quasi-passive income stream.

In the end, seems to be very individualized choices, and I admire when guys can work gaming into their work, yet sometimes guys may attempt to spend too much time engaging in fun and NOT prepare for their future relaxation. Tough choices and balances for all.

[poutsara]

(06-25-2014 10:59 AM)DREWPAUL Wrote:  

Hi guys.
I know about pickup for many many many years and so far I basically haven't been able to do a single approach. Most times I can't evne look girls(or people in general) in the eye. I get crazy anxiety.
...

When I'm home I'm doing the same thing because I'm working on my "startup"
...

If I'm not at home or work or a grocery store I'm exercising(no possibility for anything anyway).

I can't get loose, I feel like I can't even enjoy things and have fun anymore(at least not "in public").

First off, good job on on working on your startup and hitting the gym! That's two things most guys don't even bother to do.

If you can pull off a successful startup, or hell even if you pull off a few failures first but ultimately pull through, that's a win! If you at least try and still fail, hey at least you did something original and have a good story to tell.

You shouldn't be looking at how to change your life to game more. Instead, ask how can you integrate some game into the life you already have.

Others have said it here: Day Game. You go to the grocery store? Chat up some girls there. Ask them what they did that day. Chances are, they will ask you the same. Drop some bait about your start up. See where that goes.

Gym game. You exercise? Chances are, girls are there too. Make some conversation.

Online game. You sit at a computer all day? Keep a browser open to the dating sites and in a free moment, flood the gates with one liners to whatever looks good to you. One will hit eventually. You're sitting there at the computer anyway, this will only take a few extra minutes.

[poutsara]

(06-25-2014 10:33 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

Some gut instincts tell me to hold another few years and keep chasing poon into my early 30s.

Anyone else can chime in with their opinions.

Stay healthy, stay active, stay engaged in your projects. You got one life, find what you do well, and double down.