[Blackhawk]

In a small study by Jeffrey Hall (only 52 data points), he found that men were only able to identify when someone had flirted with them during a ten minute conversation with 36% accuracy, and women 18%.

They were 80% accurate at detecting when flirting hadn't happened. But both sexes were very poor at detecting when people actually were flirting with them, with women only half as socially skilled at identifying flirting behavior as men.

In a second study, third party observers were found to be equally poor at identifying when flirting was happening between others. They were 66% accurate at identifying when flirting hadn't happened, but only 38% accurate at identifying when others were flirting, with men again being the more socially skilled at identifying flirting behavior --women were only able to identify flirtation behavior by others 22% of the time.

Hall's study even had cases where both the man and woman thought they were flirting effectively, but didn’t think the other was flirting back.

“Talk about a missed opportunity,” Hall said.

[YoungBlood]

Quote:

“People aren’t going to do it in obvious ways because they don’t want to be embarrassed, flirting looks a lot like being friendly, and we are not accustomed to having our flirting validated so we can get better at seeing it.”

That's why it pays to be bold when you flirt.

[Quintus Curtius]

Compared with most other nationalities, I find that Americans lack high levels of social calibration for the seductive arts.

They just don't know how to be subtle. It's not an American trait. Sex here is coldly and clinically transactional. Some guys think this is a good thing, since it translates into speedy lays. On one level it is, if you're young. But as you get older, you want something a bit different. If a girl is into you here, you will be banging right away. But as fast as they give it up, they just as quickly move on to something else.

For me, I prefer some degree of refinement, challenge, finesse, and work in my seductions.

Ah, we Americans. We need a few more centuries of history under our belt, to approach the subtlety of the Europeans.

It's not really their fault, entirely. The culture here represses normal sexual expression, so that it comes out in grotesque, drunken one-night-stand type of behavior.

[Basil Ransom]

Flirting has a rather sexual connotation, but 'flirting,' is really just playful conversation, and it can occur between any two people - between a man and a little boy, between you and your grandmother... You could tease your buddy with the same lines as you would a girl, as long as the content was congruent. You could troll a 7 year old girl, and then say the same thing to get her 20 year old sister into bed. And, you'll notice that the smoother, more natural players flirt with (or ) *everyone* they talk to. The idea that you must only flirt with girls makes guys act weird around girls, like they have to shift into suave player mode, and it also means they get less practice at flirting.

It's unfortunate that Americans think of flirting this way. Flirting, in a way, is a lot like doing improvisational comedy - go with the flow, agree with your interlocutor, and play along. See http://99u.com/articles/7183/the-yes-and...ossibility for more detail.

[All or Nothing]

(06-24-2014 12:05 AM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

It's not really their fault, entirely. The culture here represses normal sexual expression, so that it comes out in grotesque, drunken one-night-stand type of behavior.

Puritans

[scorpion]

Only 18% of women can detect flirting face to face, but I bet 99% can detect flirting through texting and emoticons.

I mean, you didn't think they were glued to the smartphone for no reason, right? They've texted themselves socially retarded and can no longer function without it.

[Blackhawk]

I'm thinking about goodlookingloser's comments on social circle game, and how naturals rely on women in their circle telling them which girls think they are "hot" and which girls within their shared circle are single and available.

If women are less socially skilled and only able to identify flirtation behavior half as well as men are, it seems you're better listening to other men in your social circle instead. Or just yourself.

And as much as we like to assign maleficent motives for cock-blocking behavior by some women when out together in groups, it's also quite possible that cock blockers are genuinely unable to see the flirtation interaction going on. Perhaps the cock blocker role just falls to the lowest socially calibrated person in the group, and they really are so clueless they think there's no interaction going on.

[kinjutsu]

This is why we escalate physically.

[void]

(06-24-2014 12:20 AM)Blackhawk Wrote:  

I'm thinking about goodlookingloser's comments on social circle game, and how naturals rely on women in their circle telling them which girls think they are "hot" and which girls within their shared circle are single and available.

If women are less socially skilled and only able to identify flirtation behavior half as well as men are, it seems you're better listening to other men in your social circle instead. Or just yourself.

And as much as we like to assign maleficent motives for cock-blocking behavior by some women when out together in groups, it's also quite possible that cock blockers are genuinely unable to see the flirtation interaction going on. Perhaps the cock blocker role just falls to the lowest socially calibrated person in the group, and they really are so clueless they think there's no interaction going on.

Makes sense that the social retards are the worst cockblockers. It is the same with men. Some really don't get they disturb you (while flirting)

[Kingsley Davis]

Women only detect flirting from men they're attracted to.

[soup]

Basil - great post, also the one above is great to.

Be bold. The game is about being bold but at the same time drawing their attention into you.

Make bold cold reads about them, don't be timid.

[Blackhawk]

(06-24-2014 07:27 AM)Kingsley Davis Wrote:  

Women only detect flirting from men they're attracted to.

This study says no. There were cases where women were attracted to men, actively flirting with them, and still not able to detect the man was flirting back.

So no, Americans are just very poor at detecting when people are flirting, regardless if they're attracted or not.

[speakeasy]

(06-24-2014 08:11 AM)soup Wrote:  

Basil - great post, also the one above is great to.

Be bold. The game is about being bold but at the same time drawing their attention into you.

Make bold cold reads about them, don't be timid.

But see, boldness is also frowned upon(unless you are her physical type). This isn't Brazil where you are expected to be making out within 10 minutes of approaching. In Anglo countries women respond best to indirect game. I believe even Roosh mentioned this.

So we have to walk this fine line of being bold enough to get the point across, yet not so bold as to scare the cat. This is one of the main reasons men find it so much easier to deal with foreign women. The seduction process is just more natural and honest. The things I can say to a Latin American woman would make American women's eyes roll.

[Kingsley Davis]

(06-24-2014 09:12 AM)Blackhawk Wrote:  

(06-24-2014 07:27 AM)Kingsley Davis Wrote:  

Women only detect flirting from men they're attracted to.

This study says no. There were cases where women were attracted to men, actively flirting with them, and still not able to detect the man was flirting back.

So no, Americans are just very poor at detecting when people are flirting, regardless if they're attracted or not.

Basically retarded.

[xpatplayer]

Its because Americans don't flirt that often.

Over the last 20 years, American children have been socialized to be politically correct at school. So when they interact with one another, its usually like socially awkward adults, not like children. You have kids suspended for saying faggot at school. That should give you an idea about how they're being socialized.

At work you have sexual harassment laws which prevent any rational man from flirting, lest he lose his job.

This leads to less approaching.

Pair this with movies and TV shows which depict normalcy as men supplicating to women and women bossing men around. This leads to flawed intersexual relations.

So what you have is American guys don't know how to be attractive. Same with American women. They think its all about how you dress and look, not how you act, because no one approaches. Think of most of the alphas who girls fuck. Its because of status or the way they look, not because of their game.

That's why they can't detect flirting. Because no one does it.