[DonJuanBrown]

One thing I've become more aware of is the importance of keeping your lizard's PDA (public displays of affection) in check. There are various levels of PDA, and depending on what your relationship with a particular girl is like, you should try to avoid certain types that can make you look beta/whipped.

The number #1 biggest type to avoid is what I call "Petting." This is when a girl just sits there and strokes your hair or face. To me, this is a clear indication the guy is beta as fuck. She sees him as a pet...he might as well be a chihuahua in her purse. If you're in an LTR, put a stop to that shit immediately.

If a girl tries to pull this shit after just meeting her, it's a sign she's either a stage 5 clinger or views you as a "safe, nice guy" right off the bat. In bars and clubs, this is immediate death. If you don't close with the bitch at hand, your chances with the rest of the field are significantly decreased, cuz bet your ass the rest of the girls noticed the first one stroking your hair like you're a fucking cat. (I've had this happen to me).

These observations are from this past weekend chilling with an ex. She was being really touchy, probably because we banged a couple times (kind of annoying). This girl is quite hot, so being seen with her is a DHV. I noticed, however, a big difference in the amount of looks from other chicks when I wasn't reciprocating the mushy, annoying shit my ex was doing.

I guess the bottom line is, unless you're engaging in some sort of sexual act (making out, ass grabbing, grinding etc) reciprocate about 25% of what she's doing while in public. Otherwise, you look beta. You can touch her all you want in the bedroom

[Samseau]

I don't think it matters if she's touching you. Having a hot girl doting on you is alpha. However, for you to touch her too much is very beta.

[Courage Reborn]

[DonJuanBrown]

(06-23-2014 09:25 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

I don't think it matters if she's touching you. Having a hot girl doting on you is alpha. However, for you to touch her too much is very beta.

Pretty much what I was going for, but you put it more succinctly. I still stand by not liking when a girl pets me, though. Maybe that's just me.

(06-23-2014 09:29 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

Sorry you feel that way, breh.

[Courage Reborn]

Please tell me if Dan Bilzerian (top left) looks beta to you

[DonJuanBrown]

(06-23-2014 09:44 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  



Please tell me if Dan Bilzerian (top left) looks beta to you

It doesn't look beta because we know he isn't one. Notice he's also not reciprocating, which was a part of my original point.

What about this guy?

[Beyond Borders]

(06-23-2014 09:44 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  



Please tell me if Dan Bilzerian (top left) looks beta to you

I do believe that's his poker face. Well played.

[Biologist]

The OP's post sounds kind of trollish.

Sitting back and chilling with some chick touching you is extremely alpha. Obviously the hotter she is, the better.

Of course, if you're the one trying to touch her, you will look like a desperate beta guy.

[DonJuanBrown]

I guess I'm really horrible at getting my point across. That's what I was trying to say...touch her less than she touches you.

Quote:

I guess the bottom line is, unless you're engaging in some sort of sexual act (making out, ass grabbing, grinding etc) reciprocate about 25% of what she's doing while in public.

The disagreement right now is how it appears when a girl is stroking her boyfriend's hair and face. Courage Reborn provided an example where it doesn't look beta, but I provided one where it does. I'd say my example is more common in the wild.

[Matt3B]

If a girl is all over you, that makes you more interesting to other girls because they'll see a girl that is absolutely fascinated by you and can't keep her hands off of you. This "petting" thing of yours is a load of horse shit, mate.

[CJ_W]

(06-23-2014 10:20 AM)djwaters420 Wrote:  

I guess I'm really horrible at getting my point across.

No, you're just flat out wrong. Just stop while you're ahead.

[TonySandos]

I had something similar happen to me on Saturday. I was at the phone store with my ex. While I was going on about something that was concerning the situation and plans afterwards, she cocks her head to the side for a moment and then runs her hand through my hair from front to back. I leaned away and said stop. She tried a few more times before I finally allowed her to do it.

Now this may seem very affectionate alone, but she can see from the jump that my hair is styled to the front. Running her hand front to back can mess it up. Really what bothered me about it after the initial try was why she felt she couldn't rest until she rubbed my head annoyed me a bit. I asked her why she couldn't let it go and of course she says, "you always rubbed my head". 'Yes, when we alone every time'. She may have wanted to touch me badly, but it came off as more of a play at pussy repellent since she wouldn't rest. This woman had been admittedly jealous over me before, so I wouldn't be surprised if this happened because we had sex recently.

[kaotic]

Nope.

I agree with the gents above on this one.

A girl all over you is an asset. You being all over her shows weakness.

As long as you don't reciprocate you're fine.

I can't stand PDA. The closest thing I do is a swift hard, but nice smack on her ass as we walk out the door of a place.

[Virtus]

The Male-Female Spontaneous Touch Initiation Ratio

[LaserBear]

PDA directed to me doesn't bother me at all.

Its just a girl trying to mark me. Its good for public image if a cute chick is doing that.
"Oh she is very proud and protective of him, I want to take him."

Plus, it means you have her on lock.
She's not making you jealous, you're making her jealous.

[Beyond Borders]

Man the video with the guy in the re shirt is painful. Notice how he even changes his tone of voice to sync with his bitch. WTF? One of my biggest pet peeves. And then of course she responds by making her voice even higher, more cartoonish, and more babyish because she can get away with it - she's living in her own little cartoonish princess world with this fucking guy.

Would bang his chick, but he brings out her most annoying traits. That's the worst part about guys with women like that - their women wouldn't be like that if they just acted different...

Anyways, as far as the topic of the post, I don't mind cuddling with a woman, even if we're not serious and will be affectionate with her. I've even been experimenting with pet names with women I'm not close with as a way to endear her with me (just like babe or hon but said in a casual manner - not baby-talking like the above fucking joker). And even in public, the ocaissional act of affection is okay. But she should definitely be doing it way more than you.

I noticed the women in Asia are really good about this. In fact, it's generally considered not cool to put hands on a girl in public and to sit back and let the woman do all the touching. I think it's their way of signifying that they've "chosen" and "accepted" you.

Watch Asian people interact with the opposite sex and you can see how they do this. If I'm hanging with a girl, and we're a "couple," she'll often be constantly holding on to my arm or laying her head on my shoulder, putting her arm up and around my waist or even my shoulders while we're walking or standing. It kind of looks goofy because they're so much smaller than me and reaching up to put their arm around me, but they seem to like doing it.

It took me a while to get used to that after growing up in the West and sometimes I'd try to hold their hand instead, or make my own shows of affection (if we were dating). Over time and after evaluating their responses and watching how local Asian guys act around their women, I've learned to just stand there and let them do their thing.

Apart from ocaisaionly throwing an arm around her shoulder like I might do to a little sister or doing playful, kidding around touches, I just stay pretty stoic about physical affection until we get to the bedroom. The more I do that, the more they reach out to touch me and keep leaning into me all the time.

Another win for Asian birds getting it.

EDIT: Probably should be clear most of my Asian experience is confined to Southeast Asia. Perhaps relevant.

[Chewbacon]

(06-23-2014 12:38 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Man the video with the guy in the re shirt is painful. Notice how he even changes his tone of voice to sync with his bitch. WTF? One of my biggest pet peeves. And then of course she responds by making her voice even higher, more cartoonish, and more babyish because she can get away with it - she's living in her own little cartoonish princess world with this fucking guy.

Would bang his chick, but he brings out her most annoying traits. That's the worst part about guys with women like that - their women wouldn't be like that if they just acted different...

Anyways, as far as the topic of the post, I don't mind cuddling with a woman, even if we're not serious and will be affectionate with her. I've even been experimenting with pet names with women I'm not close with as a way to endear her with me (just like babe or hon but said in a casual manner - not baby-talking like the above fucking joker). And even in public, the ocaissional act of affection is okay. But she should definitely be doing it way more than you.

I noticed the women in Asia are really good about this. In fact, it's generally considered not cool to put hands on a girl in public and to sit back and let the woman do all the touching. I think it's their way of signifying that they've "chosen" and "accepted" you.

Watch Asian people interact with the opposite sex and you can see how they do this. If I'm hanging with a girl, and we're a "couple," she'll often be constantly holding on to my arm or laying her head on my shoulder, putting her arm up and around my waist or even my shoulders while we're walking or standing. It kind of looks goofy because they're so much smaller than me and reaching up to put their arm around me, but they seem to like doing it.

It took me a while to get used to that after growing up in the West and sometimes I'd try to hold their hand instead, or make my own shows of affection (if we were dating). Over time and after evaluating their responses and watching how local Asian guys act around their women, I've learned to just stand there and let them do their thing.

Apart from ocaisaionly throwing an arm around her shoulder like I might do to a little sister or doing playful, kidding around touches, I just stay pretty stoic about physical affection until we get to the bedroom. The more I do that, the more they reach out to touch me and keep leaning into me all the time.

Another win for Asian birds getting it.

EDIT: Probably should be clear most of my Asian experience is confined to Southeast Asia. Perhaps relevant.

how does this asian element apply to kino-ing a girl before you've slept with her? Maybe i've been doing shit wrong. Want to make sure my asian girl game is tight.

[Beyond Borders]

(06-23-2014 03:02 PM)SHANbangs Wrote:  

how does this asian element apply to kino-ing a girl before you've slept with her? Maybe i've been doing shit wrong. Want to make sure my asian girl game is tight.

Again, my experience is mostly with Southeast Asians. But generally, if she's not a hooker or girl that spends her time in tourist clubs chasing foreign guys (or even if you're just not in one of those venues), aggressive kino is generally a bad idea. It's usually a better idea to let her do the touching until you get her back to your room, at which point you can definitely ramp it up.

You'll even have some girls tell you not to touch them if you ignore this cultural norm. Even a touch on the upper arm can be taboo for a "normal girl" in a place like Thailand.

Some light kino on ocaission (touching a ring or fingernails, playful pushes and swats, etc) is a good way to bridge the gap, and as more alcohol gets consumed, you can get away with more. But tread with caution.

If you're shoring or in a tourist bar hitting on girls who obviously have experience with our kind, you can usually proceed with your normal gameplan. You'll also get a bit more leeway in Bangkok because it's so modern and international. Doesn't necessarily means it's the best idea there - a lot of girls are coming there from the provinces - but you'll definitely meet women who don't mind it and are more Westernized.

[travolta]

(06-23-2014 10:20 AM)djwaters420 Wrote:  

I guess I'm really horrible at getting my point across. That's what I was trying to say...touch her less than she touches you.

Quote:

I guess the bottom line is, unless you're engaging in some sort of sexual act (making out, ass grabbing, grinding etc) reciprocate about 25% of what she's doing while in public.

The disagreement right now is how it appears when a girl is stroking her boyfriend's hair and face. Courage Reborn provided an example where it doesn't look beta, but I provided one where it does. I'd say my example is more common in the wild.

Not trying to sound like a dick or anything, but your original post makes you seem like a virgin or a guy who doesn't get laid very much.. Sure, the guy in that video might be a pussy, but realistically you're probably jealous or bitter about something. I see nothing "beta" about being stroked by a girl in public, especially if the girl is hot. As with anything, it always depends on the context.

EDIT: And nobody gives a fuck if you view them as beta...

[monster]

Yes, I love when a girl's all over you. Means she's into you and really likes you.

[Rotisserie]

Stepping up to bat somewhat for the OP. It all depends how it comes across. I was in a club last Friday when a girl I had recently banged wanted to drag me around the club holding my hand, her up front, me trailing. Stage 5 clinger. This was not a good look and I hate PDA.

The gif Courage Reborn of course is an exception. We should distinguish PDA from girl to you, and you to the girl.
If anything, from personal experience, PDA (at least in the direction of girl to me) more often than not shuts off any *current* doors, if some potential targets happens to see it.

As some have insinuated, it also depends how good-looking the girl is. Is she a 6 trying to pee on her territory? DO NOT LET HER PDA. Is she an 8 though? That should be alright.

But most importantly, IMO, PDA from guy to girl should only be used with a girl, or preferably your LTR, in cases where she's done something good for you. Learn from Cesar Millan... only reward bitches when they've exhibited the good behavior you're looking for.

[Dalaran1991]

Guys, hold on and explain something to the newblood here. We teach newbies to touch her early and often when you are hitting her up, and now you are telling us that touching her is beta?

[kaotic]

(06-26-2014 05:19 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Guys, hold on and explain something to the newblood here. We teach newbies to touch her early and often when you are hitting her up, and now you are telling us that touching her is beta?

Escalating for a bang yes. - Get Physical, get sexual, push her buttons and sensors.

After-Bang, FWB, LTR, PDA, etc - No, let her touch you. A man comes off as needy, beta, clingy, etc.

That's my understanding....correct me if I'm wrong.

[eradicator]

(06-23-2014 09:44 AM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  



Please tell me if Dan Bilzerian (top left) looks beta to you

If he is paying the girl as he does the ones for the instagram photoshoots, then he is the biggest beta on the planet. p4p=beta

but i agree with you, if a chick is into you and touching you and can't keep your hands off of you, that is not going to hurt you with other girls if other girls are watching.

[Fighting888]

(06-23-2014 09:25 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

I don't think it matters if she's touching you. Having a hot girl doting on you is alpha. However, for you to touch her too much is very beta.

What do you think about mate guarding? That seems beta too.