[RexImperator]

I've come to the conclusion that, overall, I need to be more "fun" and less serious in all my interactions with women. The question is, how do I do this? Old habits (being serious) die hard. How do I let go of that?

Sure, I can do it with alcohol at night when I become relaxed, but I'm talking about everyday interactions.

[TheMan]

Difine

Difine (to yourself) the desired trait/action/belief

Model people who you see as being / doing what you like then after a while develop your own style.


Become mindful

Become mindful of when you are acting in contradiction to your objective state and correct yourself.

First you'll catch your self just after the undesired action
Then just as you're doing it
Then before you do it
Then it will no longer be a part of you

*caveat. This will most likely be a slow(er than you'd like) process. But be patient with and forgiving of yourself when you fuck up.


Good luck dude, let us know how it goes

[speakeasy]

(06-17-2014 10:02 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I've come to the conclusion that, overall, I need to be more "fun" and less serious in all my interactions with women. The question is, how do I do this? Old habits (being serious) die hard. How do I let go of that?

Sure, I can do it with alcohol at night when I become relaxed, but I'm talking about everyday interactions.

I know what you mean. I was recently thinking that's one area I need to tweak is being more fun, funny and vibrant. I feel it's becoming harder with age.

Fun people don't really have think about trying to be fun. That's just what they are. And the times in life that you truly are having fun you don't have to think about it, you are sort of on autopilot. It's the same with confidence. The second you have to start thinking about how to be confident you've already lost. Confident people are just naturally that way through life experience and it's automatic. You can't really think yourself into being fun or confident as in "how do I do this". Just doesn't work that way.

[XXL]

I could write a book about it but written word is the worst way to talk about what is fun and how to express it the right way. So I'll post what is already out there. Don't take it as a dogma. Just take what's cool ignore the rest...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmqum2oeDas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51ePypp-xdI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTfcnerID0I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsnIYDk1RAM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo0d10Tl_Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T--r0g0ZTFA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QudfCVdU64c

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

*Surround yourself with positive people - it is contagious

*Focus on the positive things you have going on - goals you've achieved, accolades, experiences

*Find something you are passionate about and go after it - when you have something you are enthusiastic about it manifests itself in how you relate to others. You exude light/positive aura/radiate

[freewheeler]

Genuinely smile more.

Release muscular tension (stretch, foam roll, massage, etc.)

Sleep well, eat well.

Mindfulness is great.

Breathe from the diaphragm.

Spread value in all your interactions.

Live in alignment with your values.

ex. See a girl that you find attractive, immediately open her with full intent--regardless of the outcome, the fact that you took action that is in agreement with your values will boost your mood

Make the above a habit and you're perpetually feeling good.

Using the above you'll get to the point at which having a warm, positive vibe is natural to you but until then you can try using push/pull, cold reads, misinterpretations, etc. to liven up your interactions a bit.

But no matter what you do you have to own it 100% and fully commit. If you don't believe in it, enjoy it, find it amusing, etc. then how can she?

Amuse yourself first.

[Carlos100]

I was thinking of starting a thread on this topic. I have a hard time being spontaneously witty and funny with women. I try to make jokes, but I think they sound a little too forced, dry, and flat. Every once in awhile, I'm really "on" in which my jokes and comments seem to flow naturally and the people I'm with think I'm being hilarious. But most of the time it's not that way.

In the past I used to watch a lot of stand-up comedy shows on TV or on YouTube, then use the jokes I heard in similar situations when out with people. That helps. But I need to be able to do this kind of thing on my own.

[Cr33pin]

Man I got so much more ass when I was goofy then now when I'm serious.

Soooooo much more

All this shit about be cool and talk slow and make her interested in you and blah blah blah is no where near as effective as just being a goofy, fun, free spirit.

[mbare]

-At the least, say hello to everyone around you or attempt small talk.
-Listen to fun music before going out.
-Do whatever it takes to pump yourself up before hitting the bars/clubs. If you can't get positive energy going, I'd almost recommend doing something else. Not that you won't be able to increase your energy once out, but it's usually just more difficult, at least for me.
-For me the most important thing is having a wingman or two who bring that high energy level. It's harder and harder as I become older to get my energy level where it should be, but I know when I go out with a few crazy buddies of mine, I'll feed off of that. The good news being, that in a group of girls they may not all have high energy levels themselves. So while your "crazy" friend is opening the group, he may gravitate towards the high energy girl, while you can go for the more chill one/ones.

Roosh actually wrote something relevant to your question OP. I'd have to mostly agree with it.
http://www.rooshv.com/night-game-energy-levels

[Christian McQueen]

Let the world amuse you.

I was getting into an elevator today and a situation regarding two people made me laugh out loud.

People looked over and I said "How come the people who are on the lower floors always get in first (so they're in the back of the elevator)?"

People laughed and agreed.

If you learn to laugh at everyday shit you'll become more carefree.

If you notice comedians usually take everyday situations and make them funny. They're merely observing and then finding the humor in it.

One tip is to watch comedians. I watch standup quite a bit and that helps you find the humor in life.

Money has nothing to do with it. When I was dead broke I laughed alot. Partially because it's a stress release, party because of the absurd situations I found myself in and lastly, because when shit hits the fan sometimes all you can do is laugh. It's better than moping.

I love to laugh, especially when it's not appropriate, and I think one can learn to relax and find humor, but it's a conscious discipline, just like having good posture. At first you'll think about it, but once it becomes a habit you won't think about it anymore and it'll become a part of the 'natural' you.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Roosh once suggested watching episodes of "Seinfeld" before going out and gaming because it puts you in the mode of getting into witty conversations.

I'd suggest watching that and anything else you find funny.

The problem, for me, is starting to be the manosphere. When you constantly read about feminist wackos and "hashtag activists," you begin to see the world as negative and women as a bunch of harridans. So it's hard not to take things seriously and lose your sense of humor, esp. if you're the type to notice lies and injustice.

But it helps to remember that the average woman doesn't read Jezebel or think about much of what we talk about here. Because if you mentally bring all that with you, things shut down real fast and you really won't have any reason to laugh.

Maybe developing a streak of black humor will work.

[Christian McQueen]

"But it helps to remember that the average woman doesn't read Jezebel or think about much of what we talk about here."

Especially the hot ones. I've had two instances of chicks dropping feminist comments in the club of all places, which I mentioned on the podcast, but 99.9% of the time I haven't heard any hot girls spouting off jezebel.

[boycottamericanwomen]

(06-17-2014 09:39 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

"But it helps to remember that the average woman doesn't read Jezebel or think about much of what we talk about here."

Especially the hot ones. I've had two instances of chicks dropping feminist comments in the club of all places, which I mentioned on the podcast, but 99.9% of the time I haven't heard any hot girls spouting off jezebel.

I was also amazed when I realized that hot women have less of an attitude than ugly women. Ugly women develop a bitchy attitude because they are bitter and also because they are too negative to want to improve themselves and become one of the hot ones. Any woman can become hot if she'll just jog for an hour 3 times a week and lose that extra body fat.

[From Vegas to Tokyo]

(06-17-2014 09:41 PM)boycottamericanwomen Wrote:  

(06-17-2014 09:39 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

"But it helps to remember that the average woman doesn't read Jezebel or think about much of what we talk about here."

Especially the hot ones. I've had two instances of chicks dropping feminist comments in the club of all places, which I mentioned on the podcast, but 99.9% of the time I haven't heard any hot girls spouting off jezebel.

I was also amazed when I realized that hot women have less of an attitude than ugly women. Ugly women develop a bitchy attitude because they are bitter and also because they are too negative to want to improve themselves and become one of the hot ones. Any woman can become hot if she'll just jog for an hour 3 times a week and lose that extra body fat.

Men see a mountain and want to climb it to the top. Women want it buldozed to where they stand and have everyone fall with it. One of the biggest lessons I learned from How To Win Friends and Influence People was to stop complaining. Nobody likes a negative person. No, you don't want to be Kenneth from 30 Rock the whole time, but people who complain about everything have are no fun.

McQueen (as usual) hit the nail on the head. You've got to amuse yourself with your surroundings. By having fun yourself, other people will be drawn to you and will want to have fun. Ever wonder why it seems those nights where it begins with just you and your boys and you're all just having a good time, you often times get a lot of female attention and quite frequently get laid? Girls are attracted to that high-energy fun group. The people with the highest SMV in the club are often the ones having the most fun. It just so happens that the guy drinking dom in the VIP typically has the most fun out of everyone in the club. If you're sitting by yourself in the VIP sulking having a drink by yourself, nobody will be drawn to you, despite the fact that you are in the VIP with a bottle.

Want to be more fun? Have fun yourself.

[godofwar]

no need to be more fun and positive outwardly.

if that's not your archetype, don't force it.

you do have to stay cool though, not being butthurt. this requires a certain positivity, its just its own style.

for me, when I was first starting out exploring how to get out of my seriousness, I studied Jonny Depp. He is funny and positive, with minimal effort and is able to maintain a serious frame. It's more of an intellectual positivity.

meaning outwardly you do not have to be a clown or anything, just see the ironic and humorous in life. Christian McQueen's example above is an example of how this approach works. think dry humor mixed with aloof observation

[mbare]

Agreed about the feminist stuff. Not to say we have to walk around with our heads in the clouds, but avoiding the influx of negativity out there would benefit all. Part of that avoidance might have something to do with my line of work in the Emergency Room. You start appreciating things you have...your health, your mind, hell your life and body parts after a short time in that field. After 9 years I have no doubt seeing the worst of people has had some influence, but like all things, you can turn that into a positive.

MikeCF and McQueen have a lot to say about being positive. I never realized the full implication of that until moving back to the States a year ago. I think my success over there had more to do with my positive attitude than anything. The women were "different", living abroad was exciting, learning the gaming ropes from my friend, and having a strong social circle made me optimistic about many things. Conversely I think a number of negative observations and experiences from the first 2 weeks in my current city led to less bangs, at least when it came to club/bar game. Rejections are fine...price of the game, but nasty attitude/argumentative and bitch behavior left a sour taste, that took a while to remedy. I won't go into the details, but for the first time in my life I even had a physical altercation with an americunt over a few words. And I'd describe myself as being friendly and chill, but as a few others have mentioned on here, sometimes you have to call these girls behavior out.

I'm curious if anyone else on here has experienced a negative vibe in a city, country, club, bar, etc that was difficult to shake?


Definitely something to be said as other pointed out for watching comedians...Daniel Tosh, Seinfeld, Robin Williams, to name a few.

@godofwar. Good observation. Compared to some of my friends, I'm more mellow and i know trying to imitate them would probably come off as try-hard and incongruent. Therefore I'd say having friends that give you that added boost will bring out YOUR gaming "sweet spot", and get you on point.