[articulatecool]

So my really good friend Christina has been trying to set me up with her friend Jenny. The 3 of us hung out about 4 times and jenny is always very enthusiastic about the next time were all gonna see each other. Jenny is pretty conservative and isn't the type to flirt straight up. Christina is pretty sure jenny is interested but they aren't close enough yet to talk about me like that.

So I just took a leap and decided to text jenny and invite her out to dinner in July. She mentioned she'd be free in July and we can all hangout again. I'm trying to get her to come out with me alone and she responds with "when do I have to let you know by?"

What the fuck does that response mean? Either you can't or you can, what is there to think about? Why would she respond that way? Should I just take that as a rejection?

[articulatecool]

Here it is with time stamps

[Coldfire]

She most likely will just forget about you dude. I've been in this exact position.

[articulatecool]

That's a shame I really really liked this girl (top of my list)

[Ardbeg]

Two things:
1. You shouldn't take a girl out to dinner on a first date. They are boring, eats lots of food isn't conducive to sex, and she hasn't done anything to deserve you spending that amount of money on her. First dates should be at bars (more than one). You said she is conservative, if that means she doesn't drink, find anything else to do at night (dates should be at night): art galleries, old towns, even carnivals. For me the ideal commination is: liquor, night, and some type of movement (instead of sitting in one place the entire time).

2. You're scheduling a date over a month in advance! Even though your Groupon expires then and you can go before, the subtext of your text suggests you are willing to wait a month just to spend an evening with her. Is she so busy advising Obama on how to deal with the crisis in Iraq that she can't meet up with you. If that's the case, then she is not interested.

[articulatecool]

Thanks for your response ardbeg. I should point out that I am not just trying to smash this chick (I get sex from enough hoes about 2-3x a week). I actually REALLY like this girl and I wouldn't mind blowing a dinner on her for a chance to get serious with her.

Furthermore, she's pretty conservative but she does drink. It's just she's not the type to date casually so I'm pretty sure planning a dinner with her is really the only way to game her.

Any other thoughts are welcomed.

[polymath]

I think ardbeg's point number 2 is spot on. The dinner invitation itself isn't a problem....people say those dates suck but that potential for suckiness isn't her reason for suddenly changing tone.

Dude, if you want to see her, why would you wait for a groupon? You could have asked her if she wants to grab a bottle of wine and some cheese and spend an afternoon with you in the park.

By asking her to dinner a month in advance using a groupon, you are conveying (A) you have so little going on right now that you're willing to plan a date 1 month in advance, and (B) that you want to use a groupon on a date.

It's all about what you communicate. You should have been like "hey, I am a man and you are a women, I'm into you, let's spend a moment together," but instead you said "I can afford to buy you dinner using a coupon sometime within the next month."

I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just trying to get across what you conveyed with your invitation.

I don't know how I would save this, but every situation can be saved. My flight is boarding so I can't type more but hopefully you'll get some good advice from the forum.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Brother - no offence, but your text-game is way too supplicating and Beta. Read up on the forum or some books.

Never say: "Lemme know!" You let her know. She can comply or not, that is her choice, but she will accept more if you assume the sale.

Also never say "No pressure!" Pressure is good, the pressure of you pack should be always there.

"When you get a chance!" That's bad.

"Haha" Never laugh with a girl like that up front.

She will let you know after she is done sucking the cock of some Alpha.
Plus I agree with what the other guys have said - no dinner dates unless you really enjoy it, have time and you are wealthy as fuck. Also scheduling way in advance.

But no offense - it can be learnt. Text game is either short up to the point and only solidifies the meeting - McQueen & Roosh are doing it like that. Or it can be elaborate and even deep conversion - Krauser did some of those. The latter is difficult to learn. But all are according to certain rules that will turn the girls on instead of off.

In this instance it is hard to turn around the frame again after having made that impression.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Next time LEAD the interaction

If you want to keep any momentum going with her, don't wait til next month - follow up immediately

Take that Sunday, scrap dinner and go for ice cream and a nice intimate walk in the park. Gives off a unmistakeable signal, and even more "romantic" in her mind. Dinner is constricting because you are sitting apart, and it doesn't necessarily establish you as "more than a friend who is taking her out" either.

Why is she "at the top of your list" already?

The only positive in this is that you say you have a mini harem in play that will keep the thirstiness off your breath

Point is, if you want her you can't wait til July. By then, she will have forgot about your plans and some other more assertive guy will have scooped up your target.

[iknowexactly]

I just felt like going on a rant, excuse my expulsion...

1) Anything but flat-out "yes" with no provisos whatsoever is "no"* except when you have the tip in and she likes rape game. Actually even then it might be good in 1st world during sex to have both your lawyers present the way things are going.

2) Never believe excuses *unless she immediately proposes an alternative, like the next day or something, ever. It's always a lie. This will be right only 99.97% of the time.

3) (from Roosh) If you have to ask about dealing with a girl on this or any forum:
(your confidence in yourself = too low
and/or
your indifference towards her = too low. )

You have to be indifferent enough to just ask, i.e. find out quick, you have things to do, it's truly no problem if she says no ( which means you DON'T SAY it's no problem , you actually barely notice her rejection or vacillating.)

When you ask her what should be happening internally is that you are not nervous and rigidly locked into, focusing on her, YOU BRING your focus temporarily onto her from your sea of potentials at that time, and if she isn't compliant, your attention VERY rapidly shifts to more rewarding pastures.

Unless she is proven loyal, reliable, and honest over many months or years, you are dealing with a 5 year old, distractible child whose opinion is meaningless. Your only concern is whether she'll do what you want or not.

4) If you really, really like a girl you are reacting to an internalized idealized image of a woman, not actually to this particular woman.

Women are so sheeplike a woman is a "womant" from an anthill more than a functioning, rational, independent adult, like a nerve ending of a hypergamous eternal child-woman hive mind.

There is little of the security with them as there was (if you were well-nurtured) with your mother-figure. If you moneypowerfamestatus increases, they will all improve their reaction to you like goose-stepping obedient Nazis. Women don't have thoughts, they have reflexes.
They are all menstruating, masturbating ( hopefully), greedy, childlike, impulsive and irresponsible little kids.

Of course, one has to temper that with the fact that for a sexual man, without their attention and approval, there is something REALLY missing in life.

Life is like a fucking algebra problem with no solution, all you can do is just keep marveling at the increasing number of visible variables until you croak.

[CJ_W]

(06-16-2014 03:02 AM)articulatecool Wrote:  

That's a shame I really really liked this girl (top of my list)

1) stop that shit. Bitches aint shit. remember this, say this aloud 50 times every day in the mirrior till you get it:

Bitches aint shit, Bitches aint shit.

And yes this include your "Top of the list" girl.

2)You need to be talking to multiple women at once trying to set up meets (bar preferably. . .and close to your house. . .or just drinks at your house, whatever.) within that week or the next. anything longer, move on, that's a big fat No. from her.

3)if it aint yes, it's No. You want your women to be easy and fun, if she gives any other reason OTHER than various forms of YES (rescheduling to adifferent day counts) then its a NO. move on.

4)Please Please Please get Bang by Roosh, it should help you a lot, READ around these forums, ask questions of member who are pretty damn decent with women. Many people have different styles but the basics are still the basics.


I don't mean to be harsh but, in all honesty she just saved your life. If she was looking to settle down and meet someone after she comes off the carousel(beta bucks), making you wait for a month just to date you and you dated her, and got maried before learning game. . .she would chew you up and spit you out in a matter of a couple of years and your life could be pretty much screwed up.

But then again words don't teach. Life Experience teaches. But Try to live Vicariously through others on the forum, so you don't have to mess up your life to learn.

Good luck, and be thankful that you dodged a bullet.

Edit: I just saw the "I get sex form hoes 2-3x a week."

Alright then, you should know to not get attached over one bitch. You need to get more women untill you stomp that thinkign out of you. It will only end ugly if you dont.

Also you need to travel.

Go to:
Brazil
Philipines
Thailand
Tokyo


The Sheer number of hot ass women walkign around (and in some countries hot ass women that will be throwing themselves at you) will cure you of that "Top of the list girl" shit REAL quick.

like first WEEK of landing in all those places quick.

Edit #2: I just saw Iknowexactly's post LOL great minds think alike. I should probably read alll the responses before writting a quick response to the OP from now on!

[iknowexactly]

(06-17-2014 02:04 PM)CJ_W Wrote:  

....

3)if it aint yes, it's No. You want your women to be easy and fun, if she gives any other reason OTHER than various forms of YES (rescheduling to adifferent day counts) then its a NO. move on.

^YES , better said than me, the more you think about it the more obvious this becomes.

[PapayaTapper]

(06-16-2014 03:02 AM)articulatecool Wrote:  

That's a shame I really really liked this girl (top of my list)

Bro, others have already said it but you're coming across as too needy and from the "inferior" position. Girls are WIRED to respond to PERCEIVED superiority

"The power of the relationship lies with whoever cares less"...Uncle Wayne

That's the paradox and ESPECIALLY true early in a male / female relationship (And EVERY SINGLE interaction with another person IS a relationship).

Not to be too harsh but the situation may have blown up already. From the info you've shared I'd say the only way you have to salvage this is hit her up to hang out RIGHT AWAY. If she makes ANY excuses then you know she isn't interested, or maybe never was. If that's the case then at least you know right away.