[nek]

I've developed a hater who's an incessant shit talker. I can usually clown him verbally but he's persistent. From a legal standpoint in the US can I hit him? I'm gonna beat him to a pulp, just want to know if this is gonna really fuck up my life.


PS I think it's bullshit that the legal consequences should even be a concern of mine. My gut says to fuck this guy up and sodomize his mother with his arm that I'll rip off, but my brain says that I might (might) regret this.

[TonySandos]

DONT DO IT

Assault charge in the making.


Whoop his ass in private of needed

[eradicator]

wtf. Seriously? Yes, if you commit assault and battery, and there are witnesses, you can definitely do jail time, especially if you do real damage.

If you want to fight him, you would have to get him to agree to the fight.

I can tell you for a fact, the reason he is incessant is because he gets a reaction out of you. If you did not let him get under your skin, and had more of an "i don't give a fuck" attitude, he would have got bored and moved on to a more lively target.

This is definitely a hole in your game, you want an "I don't give a fuck" attitude when you are gaming women, if you can't turn that on here with a rival, that's a bad sign.

[El Rey]

Give him a royal open-handed bitch slap that knocks him to the ground. You lessons the assault n battery chance and you put him in his place in a sense.

At the same time, why is this guy talking shit about you in the first place? Start from there and look within.

[nek]

(06-02-2014 12:08 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

wtf. Seriously? Yes, if you commit assault and battery, and there are witnesses, you can definitely do jail time, especially if you do real damage.

If you want to fight him, you would have to get him to agree to the fight.

I can tell you for a fact, the reason he is incessant is because he gets a reaction out of you. If you did not let him get under your skin, and had more of an "i don't give a fuck" attitude, he would have got bored and moved on to a more lively target.

This is definitely a hole in your game, you want an "I don't give a fuck" attitude when you are gaming women, if you can't turn that on here with a rival, that's a bad sign.

I agree with this, but that's the issue. I'm VERY chill with him and his antics, but he simply doesn't stop, as if his whole goal when he sees me is to try and ruin my night. I've been through this and still pulled, but he's persistent. Physically, I can take him (barring that he's got fight abilities greater than I. I'll never say never, but I'd gamble that he doesn't). No one in our circle would think I want to hit him this bad. He'll bring up shit about past bad relationships I had and shit. And I always play it off, but this is a low blow. He needs to get pounded into the ground. I'm not claiming to be the badass of badasses, and lord knows i've had my ass handed to me, but in this case, I wish the rules of the jungle were in place.

[nek]

(06-02-2014 12:15 AM)El Rey Wrote:  

Give him a royal open-handed bitch slap that knocks him to the ground. You lessons the assault n battery chance and you put him in his place in a sense.

At the same time, why is this guy talking shit about you in the first place? Start from there and look within.

Not to toot my own horn, but I think he sees me as a threat.

[weambulance]

But seriously, don't do it. Personally I think a good beating has its proper place in the world, but our society disagrees and will probably lock you up. If you can get him to step into a boxing ring with you, that's one thing, but just beating him up won't go well.

Besides, you might accidentally kill the guy, and doing 10-15 years will put a serious crimp in your style. I put a kid in the ER in 8th or 9th grade after he ragged on me for 2 months or so; one day I just lost it and kicked him hard in the stomach with a front snap kick (I was studying karate back then, and I could kick very fast and hard). Now, I'm much bigger, stronger, and more experienced and if I lost control and beat the shit out of someone I could easily kill them without meaning to. Even a single punch can do permanent damage: I have a friend who's blind in his right eye from getting sucker punched in a strip club. That's something to think about.

The problem, as others have said, is that you're letting him get under your skin. Fix that, and he won't be a problem anymore.

Does he know he's being a total douche? I assume so, but sometimes people like that genuinely don't realize how obnoxiously twatty they are until someone calls them out.

[nek]

(06-02-2014 01:01 AM)weambulance Wrote:  

The problem, as others have said, is that you're letting him get under your skin. Fix that, and he won't be a problem anymore.

This is the issue, and perhaps I'm not articulating it well, but whatever he's doing, if I end up at the same place he's at, he'll drop what he's doing to start saying shit ( in a faux friendly way) and if I'm with a girl, he'll start trying to disqualify me to her. I'm very non-reactive and at times I'll clown him in a very friendly non-chalant way. One girl told me of shit he was saying to her about me when I went to the bathroom. I'm not going to live in such a manner where I can't even relax while I'm taking a piss at a party. He needs to go.

[nek]

In essence, he's one of these guys that feels protected by modern laws and society, and that he can talk all the shit he wants without consequence, as only physical actions have litigation against them. I'm all for being thick-skinned, but that doesn't mean you take constant verbal assaults.

[polymath]

Sounds like he's getting the better of you with words. You must be pretty mad to be posting about sodomizing his mother, which is egregious no matter what this guy has said to you.

Ask yourself, why do you have a hater?

Learn how to deal with conflict in an adult manner. Aggression is not power unless you can control it.

[cooledcannon]

(06-02-2014 01:15 AM)nek Wrote:  

This is the issue, and perhaps I'm not articulating it well, but whatever he's doing, if I end up at the same place he's at, he'll drop what he's doing to start saying shit ( in a faux friendly way) and if I'm with a girl, he'll start trying to disqualify me to her. I'm very non-reactive and at times I'll clown him in a very friendly non-chalant way. One girl told me of shit he was saying to her about me when I went to the bathroom. I'm not going to live in such a manner where I can't even relax while I'm taking a piss at a party. He needs to go.

Can you not avoid this?

[Samseau]

He's a cockblocker. Just ditch him. If you see him, cockblock him first: talk shit about him first to whatever party you are with in order to defuse any potential he has.

Eg. You are talking to girl and see him coming up to you and her, you say to her, "Hold on, my stalker approaches," before he is in earshot. Then when he arrives, say, "Hey man, I'm busy right now. We can talk later," and then ignore him completely and focus on your girl. If he continues to try and talk and but into the conversation, just tell him, "Fuck off man," and take your girl to another part of the club/bar/house party/etc.

If he follows after this verbal smackdock, he will look like a weak ass bitch following you and her around. Then when you have her in private, say to her, "God that guy is such a fucking weirdo. Don't know why he keeps trying to talk to me," and then resume your conversation with her as if he never existed.

[El_Superbeasto]

Simple open confrontation/intimidation should work just fine here. Just call him out and act like you're ready, willing, and able to escalate beyond anything he wants - whether that's a fight, or just yelling at him. Doesn't matter whether on not you're bluffing. He'll never call you on it. Dude doesn't sound like a fighter.

[Ardbeg]

Like others have suggested, why do you need to be in the company of this "shit talker." Remove him from your presence. Unless you are sharing a cubicle with him or are in a military barrack sleeping next him, I don't see how you're forced to be around him. Even if you're sharing a cubicle, if he starts talking, just put on headphones and tune him out. Most people who have loud mouths act in order to get attention. Deprive him of attention, and he withers away.

[cooledcannon]

(06-02-2014 02:15 AM)Ardbeg Wrote:  

Like others have suggested, why do you need to be in the company of this "shit talker." Remove him from your presence. Unless you are sharing a cubicle with him or are in a military barrack sleeping next him, I don't see how you're forced to be around him. Even if you're sharing a cubicle, if he starts talking, just put on headphones and tune him out. Most people who have loud mouths act in order to get attention. Deprive him of attention, and he withers away.

I have a sense that its difficult for the OP to get rid of him. Which would be why OP would be getting worked up enough to try and fight him. Maybe hes stalkerish or its a small enough town that there are only like 2-3 good venues or something, or the social circle is tiny.

[J DOE]

Personally, I would beat his ass but I understand the dilemma you're in. What you want to do is physically dominate him one good time. Wrestle him to the ground, don't cause any injuries to him though, just display that you're physically dominant over him. Make him see how weak he is compared to you and let him know that you have been allowing him to taunt you, like you would a small child, but he's crossed the line.

Ideally, you want to do this when you're alone where there's no witnesses and he has nobody to ask for help. But I'm curious, why haven't you let it be known that he's pissing you off? If I was in a situation like that I would be very openly hostile to him, to the point where he would be uncomfortable talking to me. Like shoving him to the ground, pouring drinks on him, putting my finger on his face and pushing it. Basically I would goad him into throwing the first punch, or at least make sure he would be afraid of me.

[Jeimuzu]

I agree with the rest when they say do not be physical (yet) if there is a chance when you and him are alone, feel free to grab him by the collar and give him the death stare.

I would start to clown on him, give him shit constantly and make his life a living hell. There are always ways to do this besides using your fists.




Or get him jumped.

[Trim]

Smashing his face in would feel satisfying, but will be worse for you in the long run. If someone bothers me these days, I act as if they don't even exist. There's no argument to be had, they aren't even worthy of my time.

[Party Pooper]

You mention he ruins your 'night', so i assume he is a member of the group you go out with everytime?

Just try to cut him out of you're life. Meet up with other friends and let him be.

If you have to see him, you have to be openly negative towards him, make him feel you really had enough. Maybe the guy doens't even know he's a constant annoyance to you.

[AnonymousBosch]

(06-02-2014 01:15 AM)nek Wrote:  

This is the issue, and perhaps I'm not articulating it well, but whatever he's doing, if I end up at the same place he's at, he'll drop what he's doing to start saying shit ( in a faux friendly way) and if I'm with a girl, he'll start trying to disqualify me to her. I'm very non-reactive and at times I'll clown him in a very friendly non-chalant way. One girl told me of shit he was saying to her about me when I went to the bathroom. I'm not going to live in such a manner where I can't even relax while I'm taking a piss at a party. He needs to go.

Disqualify him harder. Turn to the girl:

"Sorry about him. His fucking unrequited gay obsession for me means he turns all jealous bitch whenever I talk to girls."

If he protests, then you turn to him, full height, chin up, get in his fucking face and say, "Look dude. You're constantly trying to sabotage me with girls and I've tried to be tolerant. We've all talked about it and we just wish you'd come out of the closet already. You're into what you're into, and that's cool, nothing wrong with that, but I just don't swing that way and I just can't be what you want me to be to you."

Make a public scene of it if you want. Worst case scenario, he throws a punch and you get your free self-defence shot, assuming it works that way in your country. Best case scenario, others in your social circle agree with you that 'You know, he does seem to be obsessed with you' and he's too publically-embarrassed to do it in future.

[Beyond Borders]

I'm all for not fighting.

But sometimes someone just needs to get socked in the face. Are you sure he'd take it legal if you do this?

A good solid body slam can do wonders in these types of situations. As can grabbing someone by the throat and telling them you're going to rip their fucking head off if they don't stay away from you.

You can also calmly but seriously ask him if he has a problem and if so if he'd like to take it outside.

If he's really the bitch you say he is, calling him out and putting the possibility of violence out there should be enough. But be prepared to back it up in case it's not.

Most people don't go from disrespect to blows just like that (though doing so can be quite effective). There's a lot of middle ground and posturing that goes on along the way, and someone usually backs down before it goes to the next level. So I think you're doing yourself a disservice to think that your only two options are letting him constantly and blatantly disrespect you or going apeshit, hurting the guy, and getting locked up.

DISCLAIMER: Don't listen to anything I say. If you beat some guy up and get in trouble for it, or someone gets hurt, it's on you.

[Duke Castile]

(06-02-2014 01:21 AM)nek Wrote:  

In essence, he's one of these guys that feels protected by modern laws and society, and that he can talk all the shit he wants without consequence, as only physical actions have litigation against them. I'm all for being thick-skinned, but that doesn't mean you take constant verbal assaults.

There used to be a clause called "fighting words" where it was allowable to put someone in their place for crossing the line.

I personally see nothing wrong with beating someone's ass that disrespects you in the manner you've described.

Why don't you just tell him to watch his fucking mouth?

If he persists, or tries to make light of it or whatever tell him you're dead serious and to shut the fuck up or and to come handle it.

As in the above video, if everyone is seeing this, and he's the pussy you describe (it's always the biggest pussies that talk like this, it's why it's so rampant on the internet) he will back down, if he agrees to go outside, all the better.

If he keeps running his mouth say "You are starting to hurt my ears, do you have any balls or are you just gonna keep talking like a little pussy"?

Either way, if he does say let's go outside, it's not like you can get in THAT much trouble unless you seriously hurt him, and if he doesn't it's because he's backing down and looks like a punk, and he'll keep his mouth shut in the future.

Then again I've been in trouble for hitting a guy and even thought I think he deserved it. I wouldn't pay the restitution again for the privilege.

[El Chinito loco]

You could maybe beat his ass somewhere with no one watching then it becomes a I said/he said matter if he goes to the police. You can just accuse him of throwing the first punch to negate any charges. A cop isn't going to put much effort into resolving a fight between two men with no witnesses.

It's possible to bait him out somewhere private and just crack him hard in the face.

Not that i'm advocating violence or anything, of course. It's all just a hypothetical scenario and I do not condone it.

[Cr33pin]

I had a guy like this that hung out with my group of friends. Finally at a car show we were all at one time he said something and I had enough. I jumped up, took my shirt off an said "lets go motherfucker" and walked outside from the little shelter we were under and told him I was gonna fuck him up. He was scared as a bitch and teared up and said he was sorry. Never had another problem out of that guy. Actually not to long after that we became pretty decent friends. I'm not sure about ripping your shirt off at a bar but next time he crosses the line you need to let him know while being as threatening as possible. Either he will back down and respect you, or you'll get the chance you been looking for to fight him.

[iknowexactly]

(06-02-2014 12:55 AM)nek Wrote:  

(06-02-2014 12:15 AM)El Rey Wrote:  

Give him a royal open-handed bitch slap that knocks him to the ground. You lessons the assault n battery chance and you put him in his place in a sense.

At the same time, why is this guy talking shit about you in the first place? Start from there and look within.

Not to toot my own horn, but I think he sees me as a threat.

Well, you won't be a threat in the job market once you have an arrest for a violent crime on your record.

El Rey, if you want to advocate illegal violence, you should also volunteer to go explain it for him every time he looks for a job the rest of his life,

Former worker in the criminal justice system here, everyone checks your record these days before hiring to limit liability from violent employees to non-violent employees.

You're not in high school now, it's not a "fight" it's a criminal ASSAULT and any "fight" can get recorded, EVERY ARREST ANYWHERE IN AMERICA CAUSES A PERMANENT RECORD AT THE FBI TO BE CREATED and if it does FBI RECORDS OF ARRESTS DO NOT EXPIRE, EVER.
Even an arrest can be looked up AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. No conviction needed.

Why are you around this guy. If you can't control your environment enough ( moving to new venue, whatever) you are like a crab in a bucket, your world's horizon is the 20 feet around you in the bar you go to?!

You could get more money so you don't have to deal with this. Are you trapped in a city you don't like?