[Max_Drake]

I am 48 and started dating a woman of 32. During a conversation about sex she said she was still a virgin, and when she has told that to guys in the past they disappeared. Why would they do that? Am I missing something/ignorant?

[RawGod]

I don't know why men would be so afraid of that. I think they must have been insecure about their ability to lead. Personally I have broken in a virgin of 26, nice normal girl, just shy. And I've had conversations with a couple virgins over 30 who seemed like healthy women too.

I think it's very easy for some women to get set in their ways after they have reached 25 or so, just do the same things every day and nothing ever changes, including no sex. So they aren't necessarily damaged women, they are generally low sex drive feminine women who kind of got frozen at 25.

Have at it, be kind to her and enjoy!

[WestIndianArchie]

(05-01-2014 07:17 PM)Max_Drake Wrote:  

I am 48 and started dating a woman of 32. During a conversation about sex she said she was still a virgin, and when she has told that to guys in the past they disappeared. Why would they do that? Am I missing something/ignorant?

Questions.
1) Are we talking about America? The West?

Or someplace like India, China, or the Middle East?

2) Is she even a little bit attractive to the sober eye?

Analysis.

One can assume that for the past 18 years some boy/man has been trying to get into her pants.

It might be admirable that she's "protected her virtue", but a man's gotta think she went through puberty and had those raging hormones. How come SHE DIDN'T ACT ON THEM? (She might be frigid, or scared, or way too religious)

So fast forward into her mid 20's, and her cherry is still in tact, she's liable to stay that way, unless some guy is really willing to jump through *all* of her hoops. So she might be setting the price of her sex way too high. Some kinda 50 dates nonsense.

Or a man with game gets her to jump through his...!

Now a good question is whether she learned to satisfy these men in other ways.

Because fucking a virgin might take a good 2 months of solid work if she's hesitant/reluctant but curious. And by solid work, i'm talking a couple of dates per week, sleeping over at her place, her sleeping at yours, dinners, possibly a small excursion, flowers...all that Hollywood make em feel special - while still running your Charming Rogue personality.

And for what? Some untapped va-jay-jay?

Now if you're in the teaching mood, this might be an Allah-Send.

But if you're the average man, you really don't want to grin and bear it through toothy blow jobs and a chick who just likes there as you plumb her depths.

To answer your question, A guy hear's that she's still a virgin @ 32, he writes her off as frigid or weird. I might side eye a chick that waited till 22 honestly.

If she was a stunner and a good person, and checked everything else off on my list, i'd stay though. But without more information, I'd definitely make HER WORK FOR IT. (that might be a good idea in general, but most chicks don't need to work for dick)

WIA

[eradicator]

My first thought is that she is probably lying.

[Dalaran1991]

(05-02-2014 04:08 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

My first thought is that she is probably lying.

This. Or this is a shit test. She wanna see your reaction.

[ShermanMarine]

She could be a particular kind of socially awkward.

[Yatagan]

(05-02-2014 01:17 PM)ShermanMarine Wrote:  

She could be a particular kind of socially awkward.

Strong possibility, I broke in a virgin 31 yo that fit that bill.

[Max_Drake]

(05-01-2014 11:21 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Questions.
1) Are we talking about America? The West?
Or someplace like India, China, or the Middle East?

2) Is she even a little bit attractive to the sober eye?

1) America.
2) Yes.

[Beyond Borders]

She may be lying, but don't believe anyone that tells you her saying it in the first place makes a lie a given.

The world does have outliers.

Only one way to find out...

[Parlay44]

A 32 year old virgin is as unsatisfying as a week old sandwich.

If she was such a prize someone would have married her ass years ago. Don't get all caught up in this bitch. Hit it if you can for the novelty of it. It makes for a good story.

[Max_Drake]

Thanks for the advice so far, everyone. It's great to get feedback from real men who know how to handle women.

The girl I speak of IS a Christian, so I've been patient. I like the idea of her being a virgin and I like her. I went out with her a couple more times since I posted. When we were out, she kept making sure my arm was around her and my hand was touching her tit or near her box. I ramped up the sex talk and she was totally playing along. The sexual innuendo became part of our dynamic (even over text). We didn't go crazy and start sexting every text, but it seemed clear to me that sex was on its way.

After a couple of days of touching and sexual innuendo, we made plans that I would spend the weekend at her house. This evening she texts me and informs me that she wants me to spend the weekend but doesn't plan on spreading her legs. --I don't respond.

Of course I'm moving "on to the next one."

I've seen her several times, even spent the night at her house before. Should I just go ghost from here or is an explanation to her in order?

[Capitán Peligroso]

This is relevant to your situation, not to mention the funniest five minutes you'll spend today:

[casio]

(05-13-2014 12:55 AM)Max_Drake Wrote:  

After a couple of days of touching and sexual innuendo, we made plans that I would spend the weekend at her house. This evening she texts me and informs me that she wants me to spend the weekend but doesn't plan on spreading her legs. --I don't respond.

Of course I'm moving "on to the next one."

I've seen her several times, even spent the night at her house before. Should I just go ghost from here or is an explanation to her in order?

You allready got this far. Just stay the weekend there, bring a bottle of wine, slowly get her in the mood by drinking/kissing/escalating.

If you play it right she'll be all over you. Don't listen to what she says, act on your instincts.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(05-13-2014 12:55 AM)Max_Drake Wrote:  

After a couple of days of touching and sexual innuendo, we made plans that I would spend the weekend at her house. This evening she texts me and informs me that she wants me to spend the weekend but doesn't plan on spreading her legs. --I don't respond.

Of course I'm moving "on to the next one."

I've seen her several times, even spent the night at her house before. Should I just go ghost from here or is an explanation to her in order?

I think it's a form or last minute resistance, but I understand if you don't want to deal with the bullshit.

If you want to give it a try, you can agree and amplify, or tease her about it. Go Juan Antonio on her: "Do you always plan everything until every bit of charm is squeezed out of it?" or even better, "Let's not negotiate like a contract."

[Max_Drake]

(05-13-2014 02:27 AM)casio Wrote:  

You allready got this far. Just stay the weekend there, bring a bottle of wine, slowly get her in the mood by drinking/kissing/escalating.

If you play it right she'll be all over you. Don't listen to what she says, act on your instincts.

I decided to take this advice last week, but did NOT push for intercourse because I didn't want to seem like I cared very much about HER PARTICULAR p*ssy. A couple of weeks ago (before she informed me that we weren't going to have sex as quickly as I wanted) I felt in control of our interactions because I was definitely the one being chased. Now that she knows I want sex (obviously before she did - big mistake); what should I say or do to change the frame back to one where I'm in control and being chased for time, attention, affection, sexy situations, etc. I don't want her to think her vagina is made of gold and I'm waiting for a the chance to be rewarded. Should I say something like, "I'm glad we are waiting." or what?

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback.

[poly_72]

Yeah i had a 29 year old virgin. Very religious and was a ex fatty but beautiful face. But by the 4th week i took her to the motel and ravaged. After she started crying because she never thought shell lose it to a 19 year old haha

[heavy]

The visuals my mind producing in the fleeting moment after reading this...in chronological order:
1. She's lying
2. She's hot?????
3. She's fat
4. She'd be a great fuckbuddy (assuming not fat and ugly). If you're THE MAN, you could drag her along for years, see her once per week or two, until ALL her eggs are gone and her uterus is dryer'na popcorn fart
5. Poppin cherries is messy...ugh, I've done a few, not a big fan
6. I wonder if it's less messy with age?
7. She's controlling
8. She's grew up uber conservative with a shaming father...would make a good wifey except you'd never get sex

poly_72, "because she never thought shell lose it to a 19 year old haha" = awesome

[Max_Drake]

^
That's all wonderful, but neither of these posters answered my question. Which is: What should I say or do to change the frame back to one where I'm in control and being chased for time, attention, affection, sexy situations, etc. ... should I say something like, "I'm glad we are waiting." or what?

[Saweeep]

My personal take is that when this happens you are very, very close to losing this game completely.

I'd just go radio silent for a bit and create a bit of hamster spinning. The problem is that I reckon this chick does this to every guy she meets then explains it away with what you said in your OP, that guys just run away. I say she pushes them.

"I'm glad we are waiting" is terrible mate; so, so needy.

My question to you is: is she really worth all of this?

[AneroidOcean]

(05-23-2014 02:18 PM)Max_Drake Wrote:  

(05-13-2014 02:27 AM)casio Wrote:  

You allready got this far. Just stay the weekend there, bring a bottle of wine, slowly get her in the mood by drinking/kissing/escalating.

If you play it right she'll be all over you. Don't listen to what she says, act on your instincts.

I decided to take this advice last week, but did NOT push for intercourse because I didn't want to seem like I cared very much about HER PARTICULAR p*ssy. A couple of weeks ago (before she informed me that we weren't going to have sex as quickly as I wanted) I felt in control of our interactions because I was definitely the one being chased. Now that she knows I want sex (obviously before she did - big mistake); what should I say or do to change the frame back to one where I'm in control and being chased for time, attention, affection, sexy situations, etc. I don't want her to think her vagina is made of gold and I'm waiting for a the chance to be rewarded. Should I say something like, "I'm glad we are waiting." or what?

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback.

No, you DID NOT take the advice. The advice was to escalate towards sex. The advice was to watch her ACTIONS and not listen to her WORDS.

She didn't take the frame, you gave it away, then you supported it with your INACTION.

Why are you pursuing this chick? Have you spoken on the topic of sex before marriage, is she a die-hard about this? If this is the reason she hasn't had sex until now, I have NO CLUE why you're even pursuing her.

It sounds like a huge waste of time to me, especially since you're ignoring advice. If you'd not tried for sex and gone for getting a BJ or anal or something, I'd understand, but why are you continuing to ask for advice then promptly ignoring it?

[Max_Drake]

(05-27-2014 06:58 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

It sounds like a huge waste of time to me, especially since you're ignoring advice. If you'd not tried for sex and gone for getting a BJ or anal or something, I'd understand, but why are you continuing to ask for advice then promptly ignoring it?

It seems you're in such haste to use the words - promptly ignoring - that you're not reading my post and then drawing your own imagined conclusions. I wrote that I didn't push for intercourse. I didn't write anything about getting or not getting anal or a bj. Make an attempt to actually answer my question before posing your own presumptuous question.

I did take the previous advice as I stated. It was money. Kept escalating while having her at my place twice. Hj, bj, pzy. Thanks for reminding me how well tried and true techniques work. This chick is all over me these days despite the fact that my question wasn't answered here. I took the initiative and changed the frame by saying, "Either blow me or lose my number."