Back from Cuba.
02-22-2011, 10:04 PM
Yes those are great questions. Basically, you learn in school that Cuba is socialist, but having been there to see firsthand the role gov plays in the daily, [hourly, rather] everyday lives of the Cuban citizens, it is full fledged communism. There are big cameras on the street corners (they resemble traffic signal cameras like they have in America, but a bit dif) and propaganda everywhere. The girls aren’t really allowed to talk to you. Tourists are not supposed to use the civilian currency (in Cuba there are two currencies, the CUP for Cubans, and the CUC for tourists) Tourists can only buy Cuban cigars from "certified retail stores" [the gov] you can only rent hotel rooms and casa paticulares certified by the gov...We broke all these rules within 5 hours of landing.
In Cuba, you quickly realize there is a black market for everything. And I mean everything. Peanut butter etc...but more importantly you find the following on the black market:
*CUP. Once you get your hands on the Cuban peso, doors open like never before. The CUP is 24=1 CUC. The tourist money is worth 24 times more, and the Cubans know this, so they want their hands on your money. I paid 15 CUC (which if you take Canadian money in, it is roughly 1 Canadian dollar to 1 tourist peso, and strangely, at the time the USD was roughly 1=1 Canadian dollar) for a Lobster dinner with a big filet of halibut and a dozen shrimp, bread, juice, a beer, and fries. I thought that was the cheap. Once we had their money, the CUP, we ate at restaurants you find that are houses with holes cut on the side and they sell your meal out of it like a mini hot dog stand, we were paying 33 cents for a sandwich comparable to a foot long at Subway, and included was fresh juice and rice. Not a lobster dinner, but not even a dent in your budget.
*Cuban Cigars. I just about lost my mind when we went to the cigar shop for the first time. Now, I am not a cigar man, but for a standard box of 50 Cubans, the 'certified' stores wanted over $300! Disappointed about not being able to have a Cuban in Cuba, our friend Orlando, who was our casa owners neighbor, the funniest man you will ever meet, and who spent almost every waking hour with us despite his knowledge of maybe 50 words of English, said that he could get us the same box for $50. For someone who does not smoke many cigars, I thought the cigars were fantastic.
*Girls. What a boring topic. The girls in Cuba are so hot. Girls on the streets are not supposed to talk to tourist. Plain and simple. Not quite knowing this the first couple hours, my buddy and I could not believe how our 'holas' or 'hi's' got 0 response. Absolutely nothing, like every hot girl in Cuba was oblivious to us. Once we found out they can’t really talk to us, we approached differently, way more aware of where we were. If we were in a neighborhood, you wait to talk to a group of girls while no one is around. They already know the strategy; several times we would be talking to a group of girls, a car would turn around the block, the girls would all walk away, the car leaves, the girls come back 30 seconds later to continue the conversation...a man walks on the opposite side of the street, the girls disburse, only to come back a short while later.
*Hotel/apartment room (separate from actual room). So you met your hot chicks in the day and have plans to drink with them later. But you cannot take Cuban girls back to a hotel room or a Casa Particular. Again, our friend Orlando (I strongly recommend meeting a Cuban who can show you around, we met Orlando by offering him 6 bucks to take us around Havana our first full day. Every time we stopped to get a beer, we bought him one too, we bought him lunch, and half way through the day he told us to keep our $6, we had already showed him a great time and now that we were friends, he didn’t want us to pay him. Cubans are great people, and you will need one anyway to gain access and to qualify yourselves when dealing with other Cubans on the black market) knew a lady who would rent us her entire apartment for $20. She left to stay with her boyfriend and gave us the whole thing, which was on the 8th floor and had a view with a balcony of the Malicon.
Once you’re situated and it is just you and your buddies, go buy beer, some rum, and cigarettes. I don’t smoke them, who cares if you don’t either, EVERY Cuban smokes so have some sitting out for the girls. Buy some candy. Remember these girls are very poor; candy is still a treat to them. Drink beer after beer and sip on some Caribbean rum. Laugh with the girls. Relax and have a great time, you’re in Cuba! After you showed them the best night of their lives (literally) ,they are going to want to sleep with you.
Now, every Cuban is as poor as they are cunning. She will undoubtedly bring up you giving her money for sex. If you’re ok with that, don’t spend more than 40 CUC, even if she is an 11/10. And make sure it is for the entire night. But if your that lazy, you will be had by many of the people in Cuba and not even realize it; and aren’t smart enough to be traveling. Remember, she WANTS to sleep with you. She has just been on the best date of her life. Casually tell her you don’t pay for sex, but you will make sure her family is taken care of. You have to be confident but you have to mean it.
Next, she will show you why it was worth going to this country illegally. Then go back to the living room and trade girls with your buddies until you have officially met every girl. After, invite the girls on the balcony (which could collapse at any second splattering your brains all over the street) to enjoy the cigars they are famous for, a rarity for the Cuban civilian.
Personally, I gave every girl something. I gave my favorite one a 20 CUC when she left and told her to take care of her family. What was 20 dollars to me was literally a small fortune to her. You will have a hard time not sending her home with a 100 after you see the way Cubans get down. One I gave pantine Pro-V and some lotion. Small stuff to you is HUGE to a country that has nothing. You will understand what I mean once you go.
I highly recommend buying Lonely Planet’s guide to Cuba. I am not sure if they have one just on Havana, but the Cuba one will help you set your trip up. That is where we got the idea to stay at the Casa Particular. They are only $25-$30 a night for the top of the line ones, make sure yours has an AC in your room, and ours had an electric water heater (yikes!) in the shower. I mean it when I say make sure you have an AC. The humidity was unbelievable.
This is important: know where you are staying when you land, customs is going to ask. We knew how we wanted to stay, but we did not have a specific casa (we could not make any reservations, no American credit cards or debit cards work) or name picked out. We told customs we were staying at hotel Verano. I don’t know if that will still exist when you go, though I’m sure you’ll be fine by using it. We did not take a cab from the airport to the city of Havana. We paid some civilian to take us, which we did not know was illegal (black market taxi, much cheaper) at the time. We told him we wanted a Casa, so he took us to a really nice one he knew about that an old lady rented, on the 12th floor of an apt building, panoramic views of the bay and Havana. She was full so he took us to another, where we ended up staying. Worked out great; our family was awesome and we got to meet gordo Orlando. So I really couldn’t tell you how to get a casa particular, other than telling you not to worry, you can figure it out when you land.
And to warn you, the Spanish there is COMPLETELY different. I am in southern CA and can get by here and in Mexico with the Spanish I know, but what a shock the language was there. I was very fortunate running into the guy from NYC who spoke great Spanish and negotiated with the best of Cubans.
