[Hector_St_Clare]

So, I have a question about an upcoming 'date' I have (I'm not *sure* it's a date, but I think so) this Saturday.

For background: I'm 33. I finished up my doctorate (in plant biology) last year, at a big Midwestern research university, and in August moved down here (5-6 hours away) to start a research job. While I was a grad student, I spent my summers at our research station, on the outskirts of a small Midwestern industrial city with four colleges. Last summer I was out on Thursday night at the dance club, and met a girl, V. She was out with her friends, and a little before the club shut down I approached them and complimented her on her tattoos. We conversed for a few minutes, but the club was closing so she said 'if you want to talk, here's my number' and gave me her number and name. I added her on FB and we've been chatting since then (about 9 months). We've made some plans to hang out which have all fallen through, but I invited her out to dinner (at one of the nicest restaurants in town) this weekend, and she seems enthusiastic- she suggested Saturday evening. I jokingly suggested 'are you sure you want to hang out, it's been nine months so I understand if you don't remember me anymore', but surprisingly she remembered me and how we met, and said 'yes, I'm sure'.

The girl is a young single mom- she's currently 18 (I met her about a week after her 18th birthday), has a 1-year old daughter, is a pre-nursing student at the community college, and is Mexican-American (and beautiful, exactly my type). She's interested in politics and travel, and was very interested to hear about my Peace Corps experience. I'm taking her out to a fancy Spanish tapas place (assuming she can find a babysitter). My questions are, first, are there any special challenges to dating a young mom? Do any of you guys have experience? She seems to be very serious and her priority in life is her baby. Second, how do I not screw this up? I've screwed up an amazing amount of situations in life: I've always suffered from social anxiety, and it wasn't till two years ago that I had my first 'emotionally intimate' relationship and not until last year that I lost my virginity.

Any advice would be much appreciated!

[simonafc]

My questions are, first, are there any special challenges to dating a young mom?
-One, she has a child, you have to understand her priority is her child first, and you second.

Do any of you guys have experience?
-ive dated 3 Young moms. ages 21-25

She seems to be very serious and her priority in life is her baby. Second, how do I not screw this up?
-Just dont get all up on her time, understand that shes got alot going on and just help her make it easier.

I've screwed up an amazing amount of situations in life: I've always suffered from social anxiety, and it
wasn't till two years ago that I had my first 'emotionally intimate' relationship and not until last year that I lost my virginity.

You and me brother, just learn from it.

[RockHard]

Get thee to the newbie forum

(05-01-2014 12:15 AM)Hector_St_Clare Wrote:  

So, I have a question about an upcoming 'date' I have (I'm not *sure* it's a date, but I think so) this Saturday.

You think it's a date? It is or it isn't. There is no think.

Quote:

I added her on FB and we've been chatting since then (about 9 months).

Just long enough to get pregnant and have a baby.

Quote:

We've made some plans to hang out which have all fallen through

In 9 months, you haven't gotten together with her once?

Quote:

I invited her out to dinner (at one of the nicest restaurants in town) this weekend, and she seems enthusiastic

No shit?

Quote:

I jokingly suggested 'are you sure you want to hang out, it's been nine months so I understand if you don't remember me anymore', but surprisingly she remembered me and how we met, and said 'yes, I'm sure'.

Really? No shit?

Quote:

The girl is a young single mom- she's currently 18

Stop. She's an 18 fucking year old college student, which automatically makes her up for a free meal, which you're kindly offering her. Bonus - she has a baby still fucking nursing her goddamn 18 year old boobies, so you're feeding 2 mouths... no, go on, this is really fascinating.

Quote:

She's interested in politics and travel, and was very interested to hear about my qualifications as a provider.

Fixed that for you

Quote:

I'm taking her out to a fancy Spanish tapas place (assuming she can find a babysitter).

She's getting a free meal at one of the nicest restaurants in town, and she might be able to find a babysitter? It's great to have options in life.

Quote:

My questions are, first, are there any special challenges to dating a young mom?

Yes, she has another man's child to take care of, feed, and generally be responsible for.

Quote:

Do any of you guys have experience?

Yes, I do. The bonus is, by the time she's your age, she'll be practically an empty nester.

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She seems to be very serious and her priority in life is her baby.

The father should feel very good about securing a good mother for the fruit of his loins.

Quote:

Second, how do I not screw this up? I've screwed up an amazing amount of situations in life: I've always suffered from social anxiety, and it wasn't till two years ago that I had my first 'emotionally intimate' relationship and not until last year that I lost my virginity.

Well, shit, you should have started with that info. I have been where you are. Some of us start late, and that's OK. Some of us suck with people, but that's OK too. The good news is that it gets better.

The bad news is that you have a lot of learning to do. My advice: take her out for a date, spend $50 or whatever it takes to accomplish said date, and do whatever you can with it. Then fucking forget about this chick. If she hits you up for another date, great, but don't let yourself become her free meal / shoulder to cry on. Get out and fucking meet some women. Don't go to bars, go find them wherever normal girls go do normal girl stuff. It's called day game. I can't believe that you're in a town with 4 colleges and can't find a hundred half-decent broads to chat up. Put some honest effort into meeting women the way you put honest effort into a PhD. 50 approaches at least. Then get back to the newbie forum and get some feedback.

Honestly, you have very little experience with women and what you need to do right now is do what the real players on here were doing when they were in high school: get out, chat up chicks, get them to do stuff with you, isolate them, then have fun. There are over 6 billion people on earth, at least 3 billion of them are women, and this is only one of them.

[Carlos100]

If the restaurant has a bar, I suggest asking her if she would like to sit there instead of a table. It's easier to build rapport and kino when you're sitting next to someone rather than across the table from each other. If she asks why, I usually say because service is faster and more fun and it's easier to talk. If she insists on a table, then that's some important feedback to consider.

[not_dead_yet]

(05-01-2014 12:54 AM)RockHard Wrote:  

Get out and fucking meet some women. Don't go to bars, go find them wherever normal girls go do normal girl stuff. It's called day game. I can't believe that you're in a town with 4 colleges and can't find a hundred half-decent broads to chat up. Put some honest effort into meeting women the way you put honest effort into a PhD. 50 approaches at least. Then get back to the newbie forum and get some feedback.

I'm quoting this part above in the hopes that you'll read it twice and it will sink in. And please use a condom and spermicide if you end up sleeping with this girl, although that seems unlikely. No matter what she says, she's not on birth control.

You're a smart guy and you've obviously got a lot going for you. You've got the Internet and the Red Pill and you know you need them, which puts you miles ahead of the average chump out there. Here's my two cents:

1. Don't seek an LTR with someone who's your opposite -- half your age, tatted, single mom, uneducated, etc. Have a fling or make a new friend if you like, but if this keeps going, then keep your eyes open for ways those differences are going to make an LTR untenable for you.

2. You've been raised to be a provider, and to be the man in the relationship. A lot of these college girls, raised on Facebook, etc., are going to have no appreciation for that, or they'll appreciate it in the sense that they're going to use you to pay for their bastard children. I suspect you're looking for a woman who subscribes to traditional gender roles, and I think that's going to be hard to find in a college town.

Good luck my man. And, seriously, carry two spermicidal condoms. Or three.

[Sourcecode]

why are you taking a low values woman out I on a dinner date.

You waited 9 months to set a date..And you pick an expensive place.

You have already set yourself up for failure.

if your are ignorant enough to continue this.You will always have to take her to nice places

[Deluge]

Forget about this girl OP. You need to learn game before you start worrying about niche shit like young single mum game, you've gotta crawl before you can walk. Luckily for you, you've come to the right place.

[Onto]

Single Mother's, especially one's with tatoo's are damaged psychologically. Especially when it comes to their relation to the Masculine.

If you do get involved with her, for God's sake don't get involved with the child. Don't even meet the child, ever! Unless it's like a couple weeks before you're getting married.

The reason is because this child will try to win you emotionally for their Mother, because the child knows on an inuitive level that their Mother is missing something. It's all fun and games, until the relationship is over and you are not around anymore.

Children think they are the center of the world and eveything that happens around them is a result of something they did. Now you are gone, they think they did something to drive you away. It creates a deep-seeded question within them.

When they become adult's they (unconciously) arrange there lives and relationships in such a way to get back to the question. "Will this person leave me?" So they do all sorts of things to test the other to see if they will leave/abandon them. When they finally get abandoned, they say to themselves, "Hah!, I knew they would eventually leave me!"

Hope this makes sense, and I hope all who read this and find themselves in a similar situation will care enough to put a child's psychological well-bieng over thier own immediate desires.

[Kaii]

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!


Abort mission OP! It can only end in disaster.

[Lothario]

Pump and Dump it Hector.

Apply First date bang recipe by Tuth on 1st date, This one should be Slam Dunk.

[kaotic]

TL; DR

OP are you serious ? SHE'S 18 WITH A CHILD !! Damaged goods.

Allow me to help you:

http://www.returnofkings.com/31153/8-ess...single-mom

Please read the comments.

You're playing with fire, bring your own condoms, don't believe her if she says she's on BC.

Don't eve think about a LTR with her, only a ONS.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

On the positive side, she is 18 with a child which in my personal experience means she's active/open to fucking

On the not so positive side, you've agreed to treat her to a "nice" restaurant.

First thing you need to know as someone starting out in this lifestyle is you ALWAYS want to invest as little as possible to get your desired result - a lay.

Never lead with your wallet.

BETTER IDEA: Show her a good time by getting ice cream and going for a walk in a nice scenic park, be flirty, bounce her to your casa. But never treat her better than her last guy. Makes you appear to be "Tricking" in her eyes.

Might be an expensive lesson for you this time, but if you decide to see it through First Date Recipe seems to be your only play.

Proof - she's a SINGLE mom to a 1 yr old

[Dr. Howard]

I knew a hot single mom that had the kid at 18. 3 years later she got her life together, married some guy, had some more kids....and flirted with me on the regular behind her husbands back, convinced him to go 'swinging' so she could bang other dudes, he had the horror of watching some other dude make her cum like a banshee while banging her...something which he had never done. What was her response?...well if that worked, I wonder if If I could convince him to let me bang Dr. Howard solo? She was willing to use swinging as a front to bang a guy she'd had a legitimate crush on for years.

This chick didn't even have tattoos...so yeah, don't get involved. I wouldn't even advise going for the bang as your game is not strong enough to pump and dump yet.

PS - before y'all are like "Why didn't you get the notch Dr. howard!?" I had become regretful about the fallout I had caused by banging multiple other dude's wives at this point, wasn't keen on sleeping with one eye open and was actually turned off by the callousness of this chick. I figured she would throw me under the bus if anything were to go wrong. I've seen rejected married women tell their husbands about what they were doing in an effort to get revenge on the guy they were banging. Not for me anymore.

[Virtus]

a single 18 yo with a kid.. that must be PTSD territory. I know I would be. I have a kid and you can not even.. dude. 1/2 the age witha kid, tats,.. she has not yet had her fill of the cock carousel. it's just nature.

[Ternarydemonite]

"but I invited her out to dinner (at one of the nicest restaurants in town) this weekend"

Great, you have become her provider for the nights she is bored, while an alpha who gives a shit about her fucks her and of course don't call her the next day.

There is strong advise in this post dude, and in the past I once made exactly the same mistake as you (inviting a single mother to a fancy restaurant. -I didn't even got the kiss-). Learn from the free advise fellow men are giving to you.

As for that mom, I think your frame has become too beta, so either you delete her number and go on or, as said before, apply tuth's first date bang recipe and go for all or nothing. You could only learn and have nothing to loose.

[Alpha_Romeo]

If you have a lactation fetish (seriously, who doesn't?), now's the time to carpe lac...

[heavy]

1. Don't get her pregnant
2. Don't knock her up
3. Don't marry her (or common law marriage)
4. Don't get her pregnant
5. Don't knock her up

I'd love to advise more, but da penis gotta do what da penis gotta do, and I know it make no differnce what we say. As an idiot myself who got married at 22 years old then divorced and red pill at 28, I know it might take you a few stupid relationships to come around, so make your mistakes. If those mistakes and your experience with women have to start with this little ho-bag young single mom, so be it. Screw up if you must, but if you knock her up, you have guaranteed yourself 18+ years of hell starting the moment your little white swimmer is gobbled up by her giant egg. Hell I even got married and came out pretty much unscathed because no kids.

For God sakes man, bang her already.

'Course, if she has stretch marks, that might get you over her really fast.

[Mujeriego]

A pricey dinner is something you should be avoiding with any woman. Since you're dealing with a single mom I would have invited her over for booze and a movie. Just be careful because that's probably how she got knocked up the first time

[General Mayhem]

Of all the 18 year old (some younger) that I have known, I wouldn't want to date any of them.