[cardguy]

Sometimes you need a word to bring into focus something you have noticed without ever realising it.

Thanks to the brilliant comedian, Reginald D Hunter (red pill as fuck), I have added a new phrase to my vocabulary.

Social Cuckoldry.

I have definitely experienced this a few times. Chicks flirting with you - whilst her boyfriend is stood next to them or looking on.

It seems a clever mind game for chicks to play. Since by calling them out - they can quickly spin it back as the guy being insecure and beta.

And yet - by not calling her out - he also comes across as insecure and beta.

It is a weird power play that has no easy resolution.

I just want to share it here - as another insight into the devious traps that chicks set out for their men. And it is another example of how women can get away with shit - that they would call men out on straight away if they did it.

I am glad I have never had a girlfriend and never will. Because mind games like this seem impossible to deal with.

A lot of guys look down on guys who get married. But to be honest - a lot of the hate that goes towards marriage could be applied to any long term relationship with a chick.

Once you upgrade her from being your side bitch to the main player - you are already two steps down the path to betatude hell.

[KorbenDallas]

Sigh....

[TonySandos]

Wow. This is one game that always threw me for a loop. I had so much resentment in my pre-enlightenment days over these that i'd be set on breaking up with a girlfriend after the incident took place. Hell, now I feel the same, but I won't commit anymore. Ha

[Vox_All_Day]

(04-28-2014 01:49 PM)KorbenDallas Wrote:  

Sigh....

Yeah, I've been the victim of this with one of my exes, back in my beta days. It hasn't happened to me in years. I think one reason is that the woman senses that I'll revenge her by charming a hot girl and possibly fucking her if she gets out of line. I've cheated on girls because of social cockoldry.

[KorbenDallas]

This just doesn't happen if she's into you. If she's truly into you and you have hand, she's worried about her competition, not flirting with yours. Furthermore, if she is, time to move on to greener pastures.

[Parsifal]

Cardguy has been having a very good run lately.

[TonySandos]

I really should have.

Back in the day, I would wait until the chat was over and be like, "hey uh... so what the fuck was that?" usually met with [sniff] what do you mean? It was just talking boo hoe (at least they knew not to sass me). I used to believe that I was a moral person who wouldn't let anyone else's actions bend my morals. For several years I feel like morals are pointless in a society that's already done for. Fuck people

[Atlantic]

I do the reverse version of this a lot. I flirt with hot girls right in front of girls I am currently with. They hate it while they love it.

Instead of focusing on this behaviour as a negative try see the dynamic behind it and then add it to your game arsenal.

A lot of these girl 'power plays' can be reversed and used. Usually it comes from an abundance mindset which a lot of girls have by nature but that a man has to work on.

[cardguy]

@Parsifal - cheers!

Also - I am off to Malta for a week tomorrow - so you guys will have to entertain yourselves! :-)

[soup]

The trick is to make it clear that you wouldn't tolerate that kind of shit even before it comes up.

You don't have to talk about it directly, but just be the type of guy that she wouldn't dare do that around.

You can always flirt with two girls in front of her for every one guy that she flirts with.

[cardguy]

It is a situation that is worth being aware of. I have had a number of girls flirt with me - and each time I saw them in an argument with their boyfriend 30 mins later. I guess these chicks pick me out because I am so low value it makes their boyfriend feel even more of a shit bag.

Most of the time a girl is flirting with you - it is not because she is interested. But because she wants to make somebody else jealous.

Bitches be confusing as fuck.

MGTOW for life baby! :-)

[Dr. Howard]

(04-28-2014 02:02 PM)KorbenDallas Wrote:  

This just doesn't happen if she's into you. If she's truly into you and you have hand, she's worried about her competition, not flirting with yours. Furthermore, if she is, time to move on to greener pastures.

I agree with this, I prefer to have the girl be really into me instead of playing games...ie if I am coming back from the bathroom she is watching me from across the room vs. some girl trying to get fired up. When I was 18/19 this used to happen and i tried the "wtf was that" after the fact...which got me nowhere besides some defensive hamstering. My best results, at a bar, was just getting up and leaving the bar and headed to a different one. The girl came running after me down the street crying...

good you say? no. She thrived on the conflict and the re-created many more 'crying running down the street to catch me' situations. Watch out for the crazies.

[Dr. Howard]

(04-28-2014 03:41 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

It is a situation that is worth being aware of. I have had a number of girls flirt with me - and each time I saw them in an argument with their boyfriend 30 mins later. I guess these chicks pick me out because I am so low value it makes their boyfriend feel even more of a shit bag.

Most of the time a girl is flirting with you - it is not because she is interested. But because she wants to make somebody else jealous.

Bitches be confusing as fuck.

MGTOW for life baby! :-)

yes, if an 'out of your league' girl approaches and flirts with you at a bar, be suspicious that you may be asked for money or swung at by a boyfriend shortly.

[Samseau]

There are two easy solutions for dealing with social cuckoldry.

First, if you're the man who's dating a woman trying to cuckold you in any shape or way - socially or sexually - then you need to get a new girl pronto. Also withdraw attention and money from her until she either dumps you or improves her act.

Second, if you're the man who is being flirted with but you suspect her intentions are bullshit, then isolate and escalate on her. If she's full of shit, she'll avoid isolation or rebuke your escalation attempts. This is a good way to "creep her out," which is really just a victory for you as a man. She'll avoid flirting with you in the future in fear of being groped by a man she doesn't actually find attractive.

If she's not full of shit, you get a bang! Win-win for the man, lose-lose for the girl. If every man escalated hard on flirts, there wouldn't be this problem because they'd be too afraid of being molested.

[Isaac Jordan]

Never heard of this guy before today, thanks for the introduction. Looking forward to checking out his other stuff. I especially liked his "you weren't listening to me with your hearing and intellect; you were listening with your feeeeeeelings." I'm gonna steal that.

-----------

On the topic of social cuckolding though, my solution is simple: I just walk away.

I mean, I just don't put up with bullshit drama head games like that. Not when there's three and a half billion other women in the world. Maybe I'm not dating hot enough women; maybe I haven't played the game long enough; maybe I haven't dated one girl long enough for her to get comfortable pulling that shit.

But I know my value as a man is high enough to where I'll always be able to find another woman-so why should I choose to spend time with a woman who enjoys acting this way? Moreover, my time is the most precious thing I have-I'm not going to waste it trying to "fix" a bitchy attitude when I can just start fresh with a different girl.

The abundance mentality is great as a mindset, but it's even better as a default solution to relationship problems:

She flirts with other men in my presence? Walk away, find another girl.
She creates drama out of thin air? Walk away, find another girl.
She complains, whines, bitches, or otherwise brings negativity into my life? Walk away, find another girl.

There really are very few relationship problems that can't be solved with walking away and finding a new girl.

[cardguy]

Reginald D Hunter is a US comedian - but he lives in the UK. And is pretty famous over here.

I love the guy - he is always thinking shit through and coming to interesting conclusions. As opposed to just trying to be funny - with no wider context.

[CactusCat589]

If that happened to me, I would feel so insecure that I would immediately fuck another girl and keep it doing it behind the girlfriend's back until she finds out.

[Onto]

When a woman is doing that she is relativizing her man. She is saying, "You are not the One, but one of the many". It's unconcious, and often she's secretly hoping her man will prove her wrong, take charge and demonstrate that he IS the One.

Women do this without even the "other man" present in the room, by simply talking about other men.

There are three ways that I see for correcting it.

1) Demonstrate that you are the One when the situation occurs.

2) Go direct and point out that she is relativizing you and making you feel like one of the many.

3) Go indirect and role-model her behavior by relativizing her until she gets upset and brings up the subject, then you can explain how she does the same thing so you thought it was ok. Either she'll agree to stop the behavior or apologize to you for getting upset. If she apologizes it's because she doesn't want to stop.

My last LTR I laid down the law from day 2 when she took a call from a guy on her phone. She said he was just a friend and I told her that men can't be just "friends" with women and if she wants to be in a relationship with me she cuts out every man in her life except family. She did just that and we were together for several years.

She was testing me to see if I was going to be the One, and she was happy to find out that I was.

[nek]

It's really getting to the point where the only way to win is not to play.

[nek]

(04-28-2014 04:36 PM)Onto Wrote:  

1) Demonstrate that you are the One when the situation occurs.

How do you do this? I'm wondering b/c I'd think this is something that should be occurring before the situation arises.

[cardguy]

(04-28-2014 04:41 PM)nek Wrote:  

It's really getting to the point where the only way to win is not to play.

Agreed. Read up on your von Clausewitz.

[Onto]

(04-28-2014 04:48 PM)nek Wrote:  

(04-28-2014 04:36 PM)Onto Wrote:  

1) Demonstrate that you are the One when the situation occurs.

How do you do this? I'm wondering b/c I'd think this is something that should be occurring before the situation arises.

You're right, and I updated my post to gave an example. There are times where a woman has walked away from me because of it, but I'm glad for that too because I don't waste my time and get invested in a losing trade.

In the bar situation where she is openly flirting with another guy you could put yourself forcefully into the conversation by negating the guy relentlessly so he gets the picture and leaves. If she gripes about it, then there's the opening for the conversation. If she smiles and hugs you then you demonstrated you are the One through action.

One thing I've said in the past when that conversation came up:

"It makes me uncomfortable when other men give you their attention". It sounds like a beta thing to say, but it's really not if you say it assertively, and she can't argue against it, and it's the truth. What can she possibly say to that without seeing what a big fat ego she's being, and how she could care less about you?

The last thing a woman wants to see is that she's actually "doing" anything to anyone, and saying it like that shows that she is affecting someone (you) when she is relativizing, playing Goddess, or whatever whim she's currently into.

If a woman starts doing this kind of thing far along into an LTR or marriage it's obvious the relationship is in jeopardy and the guy needs to do something to bring it back on course. Without knowing specifics it's hard to give a strategy on that.

[magellan]

Quote:

If a woman starts doing this kind of thing far along into an LTR or marriage it's obvious the relationship is in jeopardy and the guy needs to do something to bring it back on course. Without knowing specifics it's hard to give a strategy on that.

In which case you fuck her closest friend.

[Samseau]

(04-28-2014 05:12 PM)magellan Wrote:  

Quote:

If a woman starts doing this kind of thing far along into an LTR or marriage it's obvious the relationship is in jeopardy and the guy needs to do something to bring it back on course. Without knowing specifics it's hard to give a strategy on that.

In which case you fuck her closest friend.

Or her mom/sister.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

I have seen this happening quite often also with seemingly happily married women who meet a successful Alphas. Then they become even outright daring castrating their husbands socially by openly flirting with such a guy. And they are often DTF.

What to do? If it happens to You there are 2 options:

1. She is just sick of your Betadom and wants you to be more Alpha. An immediate action would be just leaving without a word or starting to flirt with the hottest girl you can find right then. But that does not address the fact that she has pushed her frame upon you and begins to despise you subconsciously because of it. You may be able to salvage it by improving your Inner & Outer Game.

2. The second option is that she is just a skank. I am certain that there are some women who do it to the most Alpha guys out there. In that case you should not be in any LTR with her anyway. My recommendation is to go fuck her closest friends, her sister and maybe even her mom, because even a plate must never humiliate you like that. The slut in her will understand and agree with your actions anyway.