I am catching up with this thread, but this is key:
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I've had multiple girls with seemingly small cock counts, from great families, who were not party girls, who went to church on Sundays, who were leaders of their youth church groups, etc, who literally said this exact phrase: "It's just sex".
There's a very clear reason for the disconnect...
Men are taught from a young age that sex is a prize handed down to you by a woman if she deems you worthy of love. She gives you sex and love in equal measure since the two are inseparable to her. No matter how far down the rabbit hole of red-pill awareness I go I can't deny the appeal of that fantasy. I have to imagine even the most jaded player still wishes this were true, which is why threads like this exist.
However, if you look at it from more of an economics perspective, you realize that women, by virtue of being the
provider of the commodity, can't value what they have to give as much as the
receiver. Due to the 80/20 rule, demand far outstrips supply.
This is why, down deep, it's "just sex" to women, because they do not have to exert any effort to get it. They therefore start fixating on the fringe benefits: the wining and dining, how alpha the guy is, etc... But she can't help but take the sex itself for granted because she doesn't have to work to get it (up until the point she hits the wall).
A woman having no-emotional-strings-attached sex with Mr. Right Now is probably closest, psychologically, to a guy fapping to porn, only she winds up using a man in the process. It's glorified masturbation meant to quell basic sexual urges and nothing more.
But the reason for the bitterness and the slut-shaming is because guys resent the fact that women have the option of easy sexual release with a real human being and men do not. Even a game expert needs to put in more effort per lay than a promiscuous woman using Tinder does.
Regardless of the value of the act itself when it happens, it will always feel more "valuable" to men because (even in a more promiscuous society) it will always take more effort for men than women.
So I think women only really want
men to think of sex as more than "it's just sex" but they themselves can't, beause it's just too effortless for them to secure. They want men to continue to worship them even though they take their own bodies for granted (let alone harbor tons of insecurities about them as they look in the mirror).