[Brazilianguy]

We hear a lot about how life is basically over for women after 35, as well as the way it gets better for men as we age.
But does it really?

I am currently 32, and even though I´ve improved physically (years of weight lifting and diet) and financially, as well as game and wisdom wise, I used to do better at 27-28 when it comes to women.

Granted, Brazilian women have been on the decline and in 2008-2009 (the pre-facebook era) it was a lot easier to pick up quality girls, so I attribute my smaller pickings to societal and technological changes.

However, I would very much appreciate to hear the experiences of older men, those who have lived through their 30s and 40s, so that I could learn if it really does get better for us as we age, or if there´s also a "wall" for men, just as 35 years old is for women.

[Bad Hussar]

For me it's great. Just keep yourself in shape and healthy, and definitely not overweight since I've been told that this is what really robs you of energy. keep yourself mentally engaged and in the game ass well.

Basically it's 90% your actions i.e. keeping physically and mentally healthy, and 10% "smart" denial. So keep things you can control under control by being healthy and active, and be in denial about the things you really can't change since thinking about them does nothing for you.

I think the whole "mid-life crisis" largely affects people who have lived the conventional life. You know, the wife 2.3 kids, house in the suburbs etc. For a Clooney style single man, or a man who is in a genuinely adventures relationship with a cool woman (they exist) the mental problems don't really come up as much.

[Vegasgent]

I'm 47. Right now I feel I am in my prime....Dating has never been better, (I'm dating two women at the moment, one 27 the other 37) I make good money and live my life as I wish. I may not be as physically fit, but I am much wiser, smarter and more confident than most men I meet.

I do not think there is a wall.

IMHO.....Basically you are what you think.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

The wall for women is their looks. For men, the wall is your mind.

Men, more than women, I think ruminate on the past. And if you're a guy who has been through a difficult divorce or could not maintain long-term relationships, this hamstrings you. It's not necessarily that you're less confident. But a certain self-consciousness and defeatism creeps in, I've found, that you wouldn't expect to happen when you're 21.

If you told me at 21 I'd be where I am now looks-wise and career-wise, I'd have thrown a friggin' party. But sitting here now, I often feel oppressed by the weight of my own memory and the bad parts of my own history. This keeps me from being the fun character that women knew and loved before I was married and hence becomes "the wall" since a lot of the game for men is how you handle yourself.

Also, a certain cynicism and world weariness creeps in that impedes your success with women -- or rather your wanting to even deal with a lot of them. For example the hippie chick you meet at 19 might seem completely novel. But when you meet this type at 40 it's like "Oh no, here we go again: Health food. Stevie Nicks. She's into "causes." I've seen this before -- cliche!"

All of these are things you don't even consider when you're under 30 or so. Not knowing how they feel gives you a mental freedom you don't even know you have. Until it's gone.

Other issues: a lot of the good women were snapped up early and the ones you get to deal with now are bitter divorcees or women no one wanted to marry. Meanwhile, a lot of your friends are very busy being married and raising kids, so if you want to socialize, you'd better be good at meeting people.

The good part is that if you made good decisions you'll have money and some success. The bad part is that you're never in the mood to enjoy the fruits of your labor and if you are, there is no one you want to share the fruit with.

[RawGod]

Agree with DoBA about ruminating on the past. I'm a sensitive guy, always have been, and as you get older that doesn't go away. Despite the bravado of the manosphere, in the long run the yin energy matches the yang in your life. For each moment of "fuck yeah", achievement in business, or new women, the post gym surge of testosterone, all the ups, there are also pensive moments. There are evenings of drinking tea alone and reading old books. There are regrets, and real fuckups that have occurred and had permanent effects. Loss. It's a reality, and more and more as you get older.

If you choose to embrace this "red pill" thing, you have to face all of that. You can't have it all and do it all. At some point (I'm not quite there yet) you peak and life is about conserving what you have and doing things on a smaller scale, no longer getting bigger and more expansive. If that seems defeatist to you, wait for a while. For example, at some point (probably in your 40s) maintaining your muscle mass as much as possible is your goal in the gym, not getting bigger. So you keep on lifting, knowing that at 50 and 60 your body will inevitably not look as good as it does now, but you need to keep on doing your best. That takes courage.

There are times when I miss partners I have had in the past, and regret that much of my past is in my private memories alone and not shared. But I know that if chose to settle down, regret would be equally strong, just for a different reason - I would chafe at not being free. One way or the other, we pay the price. There is no right way, no ultimate winning, and when we die the story just ends without being neatly tied up.

Growing older to me, means increasingly accepting this, not at all being depressed by it. I accept the contradictions in my personality and in the universe, and with a bit of luck, I see less and less of a distinction between the two.

[BDawg]

"You don't know what you had until it's gone. I can't hop, skip and jump anymore. I can't run two miles. The diminution of a man's powers is very, very humbling. You live on barbed wire and bug juice until you're 28, and there's no price to pay. After a certain point, you pay for everything." - Jack Nicholson


I haven't hit 40 yet, but my diet, clothes, exercise routine and errands have all changed in the last few years.

I don't agree with everything above, like wearing a dueling shirt (?!) but after 35 your neck does begin to corrode and one day your shoulders will go.

It has been said that a man is nothing more than the terms he stands by.

If he hits a wall growing older, it is either because he was very foolish or very unlucky.

Usually it happens when he compromises his terms.

I think Josef von Sternberg's The Blue Angel is a good example of such in old age.

[John Galt2]

DoBA makes some very good points, especially the mind part. I am 39, never married. Honestly, the hardest thing for me as I aged was "losing" close friends as they get married off, turn beta, and what was a friendship that was getting drunk every Fri night hitting on bimbos turns into lunch every other month. That is depressing for me, and I am introverted so I dont readily make new male friends (literally 100% of my friends from my 20's are married).

But that is the only downside in my view. I am financially independent, travel to 3-4 countries per year (I am based in the US), stay fit via paleo diet and lifting weights (same weight as when i was a high school soccer player), and regarding women, I (finally) truly dont give a fuck anymore. Women sense that right away and guess what? They are more attracted to me. I currently have a 3 women rotation (2 in their 30's, one in her 20's), follow some standard juggling rules, and all 3 women are more attractive than any girl I dated in my late 20's.

But lets jump ahead 20 years. I will be approaching the wrong side of 60, seriously loaded if I maintain market returns, will still be relatively fit given my knowledge of diet and exercise, and probably be banging a good looking 40 year old. Vs my friends trying their hardest (heh) to get it up to fuck a 60 year old woman 4x per year. lol. Yeah, still looking for the downside...

[TopPanda]

I'm 42 and I seem fitter than I was when I was 21. I sleep less and do more now. Maybe it's because I eat better now.

As far as dating, well I did pretty well in my year off in Asia last year. When I was younger I just didn't have the confidence to approach girls.

I've also "lost" most of my friends to marriage. But then most of the married guys I know are hugely envious of my travels throughout Asia.

P.S. My dad's now in his 70's and he's having a great time!

[iknowexactly]

physical decline was most obvious for me starting around 50, drinking and packing on 25-30 lbs made it worse. After 55 I started getting some real undeniable markers for being OLD not just middle aged, sagging skin around chin, frequent erectile problems. TRT helps.

Def invisible to 18 yo's now in late 50's . There's no going back unless there's reincarnation lol.

[Sp5]

I am 57. I think there are only a few ages for men. We all fall into one of these brackets.

The first is 18 - that is when we don't feel any significant physical decline, and our desires and dreams are pretty much the same as at age 18.

The second is 40 - that is the age of responsibility, of tempering of desire, the beginning of realizing that not all of your dreams will come true.

The third is 60 - that is when physical decline is real, when consciousness of death is frequent, when the rueful memories talked about above are prominent, when you go from middle age to "old," but you are still youthful enough to get around and do a lot of things, including sex.

The fourth, I guess, is 80 - if you're lucky you can still walk and take care of yourself and speak in coherent sentences, but the grave is waiting.

These are brackets - you can be "18" for a long time. I think I fall into the "60" bracket.

[Laurifer]

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't it possible to maintain the youthful energy and physical capability of your twenties through testosterone replacement therapy and human growth hormone, once you hit your thirties and forties? Many of the "negative" effects of aging are attributed to a decline in natural testosterone production once you are in your thirties and forties.

Look at Sylvester Stallone, he is in his sixties and admits to using growth hormone. The guy is muscular as hell and still has the energy to continue to make high-budget action films.

However, I don't know what kind of toll TRT and HGH would have on your body once you are in advanced old age (i.e. 80s), but I'd imagine at this point your heart would be too weak even if your body had the muscularity to stay active.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(03-22-2014 02:24 AM)Laurifer Wrote:  

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't it possible to maintain the youthful energy and physical capability of your twenties through testosterone replacement therapy and human growth hormone, once you hit your thirties and forties? Many of the "negative" effects of aging are attributed to a decline in natural testosterone production once you are in your thirties and forties.

Look at Sylvester Stallone, he is in his sixties and admits to using growth hormone. The guy is muscular as hell and still has the energy to continue to make high-budget action films.

However, I don't know what kind of toll TRT and HGH would have on your body once you are in advanced old age (i.e. 80s), but I'd imagine at this point your heart would be too weak even if your body had the muscularity to stay active.

No knowledge of testosterone replacement, but I avoid any supplement or drug unless a doc says "Take this or you will die."

Just exercise regularly. It doesn't have to be over-the-top hardcore working out with a trainer. This is where people go wrong. They set the bar so high they injure themselves or tire themselves out and don't want to deal with it.

Run three times a week. Lift moderate weights every other day. Eat salads and proteins. Keep everything harmful in moderation (sugar, drugs, alcohol) except smoking, which you should stop because it apparently ages you much more quickly.

This is what's worked for me and I followed the lead of my mother, who has always been youthful in appearance. I assume if you keep active there is less likely to be a drop-off in testosterone and some of this is probably genetic, but others probably know better about this.

Update: I should throw in that the above advice was given to me almost word-for-word from a friend who is a physician. It was an answer to my question: "What can I do so I never have to see you professionally unless absolutely necessary?"

[Brazilianguy]

Thanks for the input, guys!

[bacan]

Nice thread. My late 20s are better than my early 20s by a mile but I too am concerned about these milestones of aging.

Gotta stay in shape....

[Sawyer]

A great post about wealth and aging:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-33732-...#pid671376

[Beyond Borders]

This is an awesome thread. Some great posts in here, Guys. Keep em' coming.

[iknowexactly]

Fuck I gained like 8 pounds in 2.5 weeks in Philippines, there's a cascade effect from gaining weight, it's the foundation of premature aging. Do ANYTHING you can to avoid gaining weight in middle age.

Fucks up dick functioning. (reduces circulation around pubic area from pressure of fat )
causes umbilical hernia ( I had one, fat pushes out on abdominal muscle wall, after operation hurt for about a year
making me frightened to exercise)
Makes exercising less enjoyable.
increases tendency to depression
stretches skin
more stress on heart, lungs, skeleton

And what is the biggest hazard making you gain weight ( for me anyway) ALCOHOL

[Barry Scrotada]

Seems like a good place for one of my favorite ROK articles. Here it is if you have not seen it:
http://www.returnofkings.com/16507/tips-...-get-older

[Quintus Curtius]

As long as you:

--stay in shape,
--eat right,
--continue to learn,
--travel,
--dress well
--stay active,

there are no problems. Yes, there are some physical changes you notice, but it's not a big deal. It's counterbalanced by the fact that the things that used to bother you in your 20s don't bother you any more.

You need to keep yourself challenged and focused on new experiences. Don't settle into a rut or a dull routine. The torpor and boredom will become a weight on your soul.

Every 10 years or so, make some big changes for no reason. Re-invent something about yourself.

[MongolianAbroad]

(03-20-2014 09:50 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

The good part is that if you made good decisions you'll have money and some success. The bad part is that you're never in the mood to enjoy the fruits of your labor and if you are, there is no one you want to share the fruit with.

That hits way close to home...well said.

I'm usually in a great mood, people even randomly ask me "why are you always so happy," but a good mood doesn't mean an extroverted mood, and an extroverted or an exploratory mood is where you want to be if you want to create new adventures.

[MongolianAbroad]

(03-20-2014 10:32 PM)BDawg Wrote:  

I don't agree with everything above, like wearing a dueling shirt (?!) but after 35 your neck does begin to corrode and one day your shoulders will go.

I've seen what you're describing, but my dad's in his 80's and still has big biceps, broad shoulders, and an imposing manner. He does have some trouble walking long distance, but that's mainly because he put on about 40 pounds. He's like 6'1" or 6'2" right now, though, so it's not an excessive amount, but he really should lose the weight. I can't really tell him anything though, I mean, if you lived to your 80's in good health, that speaks for itself.

I wonder if he'll pass away before he starts looking like the guy in the video.

Or maybe that's what he'll look like at 100?

He never worked out with weights, that wasn't a thing when he grew up, but he did, and still does, eat a lot of meat, and he walked everywhere all the time for much of his life as well as being a champion at bowling and a karate instructor and swim teacher.

Having a wife almost 30 years younger probably helped keep him in good shape too, haha.

So yeah...keep regularly doing whatever physical activities you enjoy, as well as eating well, and if you got lucky genetically, you may be stout for quite a while.

[questor70]

There is a mental shift that takes place from midlife onwards. You find that your worth is bundled up more and more in your collective memory rather than being "fun". This is the track that eventually leads to being the grandparent who always has a life story to tell, often repeating them ad infinitum.

Like earlier today I was watching one of Gene Simmons Vault appearances he just did with Ace Frehley and the two of them are so rusty that they barely are able to improvise a tune, which means the comments section is brutal. The value in the appearance comes from the personal anecdotes.
You see this sort of phenomenon a lot with old stars. They flip over to memoir mode. Every personal anecdote is a valuable teachable moment.

But I think life is largely broken up into doing stuff in youth and then passing on stories of what you did and lessoned learned in your old age. Not that you shouldn't keep doing stuff later in life, but you absolutely need to brain-dump what you've accumulated.

[Samseau]

I posted the results of my research on aging as a male here:

http://www.returnofkings.com/2859/when-a...best-years

Quote:

When considering the best times of a man’s life, men are often confused by the subject. They think back to their college days when they partied with many young women, or, if they are an older gentleman, they remember when they were at the top of their game and a true powerhouse of their company making tons of money.

What I’ve come to realize is that there is a lot going for the average man. We get to experience the unique pleasure of having many peaks in our lifetime: our sexual, financial, and philosophical prime.

[Montrose]

With modern living conditions and health, there is absolutely no reason that a man who works out, sleeps and takes care of himself could not reach sexual peak well into his forties or fifties.

[Samseau]

(02-27-2018 12:10 PM)Montrose Wrote:  

With modern living conditions and health, there is absolutely no reason that a man who works out, sleeps and takes care of himself could not reach sexual peak well into his forties or fifties.

Uh, yes there is. A 55 year old man will never be anything like he was at 35. Life's a bitch, then you die. At 25, you are strong, the skin is near perfect, the hairline is full, etc. At 35 there is just a bit more wear and tear, but since your game and money are so much better it becomes much easier to get laid.

While we all know that a man's looks aren't everything, they do matter to a large extent when getting the younger girls. You won't be smashing 18-25 women at 55 unless you are an exceptional man. That said, a man who takes good care of himself at 55 will still be dating women 15-20 years younger than himself on average.