[sox]

I've noticed two separate trends lately, wondering if anyone else has run into this....

1) Chicks who just don't kiss/suck at kissing

2) Chicks who are generally unenthusiastic for the first/second kiss

A few girls I've run into in the first category are usually the more repressed types in general. So maybe it's just inexperience.

The second category has happened to me with a few girls lately. It makes me worry that I'm in danger of being pushed to the friendzone, cause they clearly want to hang out again and are texting me and shit, they're just not very passionate/enthusiastic the first couple times I've kissed them....

I've been told by many that I'm a very good kisser so I've never really worried that it's my ability. If anything it's the lack of escalation leading up to that point.

[BiggNastee]

This girl I was with most recently started off and would only kiss me with pecks. That is until I got her alone in bed. I think they're just scared or something.

[CactusCat589]

There's the right time to go for the kiss, when you're both amped up and having fun. That's escalation enough. Did you get the sense that she was in her head or in a logical mood rather than emotional?

[Stratos]

Sometimes if they just want to screw it's not about the kissing. They want physical sex, more like exercise and fun, and not passionate desire and "i want you" kind of longing. I have some "friends" who are like this. The more I built my ability to attract women, the more I noticed I'd swoop some who didn't want to kiss and just wanted sex.

[Walderschmidt]

Girls in the second category tend to be inexperienced.

My ex-German girlfriend was in this category - she was nervous because I was her first kiss.

Wald

[Santoro]

First kiss should be a litmus test for both of you. Calibrate and move forward accordingly.

Or if you really have a problem with her style, walk away

edit: nearly a dupe Horrible Kissers

[Onto]

Didn't Cher sing a song that went something like "If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss" or something like that?

I think there's a lot of truth to it because I remember in the past, if I didn't have feelings for a girl, I would avoid kissing or keep it real short. If I fell out of love I would avoid passionate kissing also.

There's a lot of differences between men and women, but there's also a lot of commonality since both genders are half of the human race.

Kissing is an expression of true intimacy with someone. It's why hookers don't kiss. That said, a new girl might just be unsure of her feelings or inexperienced, but if she's willing to have sex but is not into kissing, that's a big red flag. IMHO.

[Timoteo]

I've heard some guys say that chicks that are cheating on their boyfriends sometimes don't kiss - that's reserved for their boyfriend because it's intimate, while they may only want you for the dick.

[AneroidOcean]

(03-20-2014 11:26 AM)sox Wrote:  

I've noticed two separate trends lately, wondering if anyone else has run into this....

1) Chicks who just don't kiss/suck at kissing

2) Chicks who are generally unenthusiastic for the first/second kiss

A few girls I've run into in the first category are usually the more repressed types in general. So maybe it's just inexperience.

The second category has happened to me with a few girls lately. It makes me worry that I'm in danger of being pushed to the friendzone, cause they clearly want to hang out again and are texting me and shit, they're just not very passionate/enthusiastic the first couple times I've kissed them....

I've been told by many that I'm a very good kisser so I've never really worried that it's my ability. If anything it's the lack of escalation leading up to that point.

Sounds like you already have the answer to the first category. Give them some pointers, see if they improve. Generally if a girl doesn't kiss me well she'll never fuck me well.

On the second topic, give us some more information about what leads up to the first kiss and if it's in a public location or private. It's likely a combination of location and that you're not building up enough attraction. You should be able to flirt with them, push/pull them, until they're anticipating and LOOKING FORWARD to the first kiss.

[sox]

(03-20-2014 03:56 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(03-20-2014 11:26 AM)sox Wrote:  

I've noticed two separate trends lately, wondering if anyone else has run into this....

1) Chicks who just don't kiss/suck at kissing

2) Chicks who are generally unenthusiastic for the first/second kiss

A few girls I've run into in the first category are usually the more repressed types in general. So maybe it's just inexperience.

The second category has happened to me with a few girls lately. It makes me worry that I'm in danger of being pushed to the friendzone, cause they clearly want to hang out again and are texting me and shit, they're just not very passionate/enthusiastic the first couple times I've kissed them....

I've been told by many that I'm a very good kisser so I've never really worried that it's my ability. If anything it's the lack of escalation leading up to that point.

Sounds like you already have the answer to the first category. Give them some pointers, see if they improve. Generally if a girl doesn't kiss me well she'll never fuck me well.

On the second topic, give us some more information about what leads up to the first kiss and if it's in a public location or private. It's likely a combination of location and that you're not building up enough attraction. You should be able to flirt with them, push/pull them, until they're anticipating and LOOKING FORWARD to the first kiss.

It's generally been near the end of the night on the first date with girls I met on OKcupid. I try to avoid waiting until the absolute end of the date. I completely agree that I need to work on the push-pull. Often public locations but not like we've been surrounded by people.

It's just interesting that the girl would be halfhearted into the kiss but still want to hang out again.

[AneroidOcean]

(03-20-2014 04:27 PM)sox Wrote:  

It's generally been near the end of the night on the first date with girls I met on OKcupid. I try to avoid waiting until the absolute end of the date. I completely agree that I need to work on the push-pull. Often public locations but not like we've been surrounded by people.

It's just interesting that the girl would be halfhearted into the kiss but still want to hang out again.

I've found that while kissing in a public setting can work, it's almost always better if you can get "some" semblance of privacy, especially if the girl isn't obviously slutty.

What's your conversion been on continuing to hang out with them? If you get them in private do they act differently?

[Christian McQueen]

More chicks today view kissing as more intimate than giving a blowjob or actual sex.

[sox]

(03-20-2014 05:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(03-20-2014 04:27 PM)sox Wrote:  

It's generally been near the end of the night on the first date with girls I met on OKcupid. I try to avoid waiting until the absolute end of the date. I completely agree that I need to work on the push-pull. Often public locations but not like we've been surrounded by people.

It's just interesting that the girl would be halfhearted into the kiss but still want to hang out again.

I've found that while kissing in a public setting can work, it's almost always better if you can get "some" semblance of privacy, especially if the girl isn't obviously slutty.

What's your conversion been on continuing to hang out with them? If you get them in private do they act differently?

I'll have to report back- I've been slogging my way through a round of first-dates and haven't had any follow-ons yet. Generally if by the end of date two the girl is telling me she had such a great time and texting me but halfassing her kissing or limiting it to pecks, I'm seeing red flags.

[LaserBear]

+1'd an unenthusiastic kisser last night.

Body language, talking my ear off, not quite glued but very attached to my side from the moment they got to my house (roommate brought back decent sized group of people from a bar), was sending all signs except she kissed disinterestedly.

It was getting late and i was tired of smoking hookah and talking on the couch so i decided to go all in and pulled her in tighter while kissing her, pulled her far arm across my chest, then picked her up and put her on top straddling me on the couch.
Suddenly she was cleary into it.
Just had to agress and set the mood... they were only gonna be quick little make outs unless one of us escalated the situation.

I think a lot of these unenthusiastic kisser girls (theyve always frustrated me... though not as much as just bad kissers) may just be us reading off each others vibes... you started out semi interested, as did she, and neither of you amplified the energy. So it fizzled while you two were waiting for the other to give a go ahead.


I wont say always caveman it like that (I just wanted to go to bed, with or without her, so I went all in), but, there is definitely something to be said for it.

You want the passionate escalating kiss. Make it one.

[KeepMovingForward]

Culture can have a lot to do with it. Example: In the Philippines, don't expect too much PDA at all in public, and especially if you're white. Normal girls in the philippines have the stigma of being seen as pros if seen acting touchy feely with a white guy, so getting a kiss in public from a normal girl would be a pretty significant win.

Different story when you get them in private, though.

[berserk]

Yes, the ethnicity and cultural context would matter. If it is a typical white or westernized girl, then it is much different than if it is an asian girl or otherwise from a culture of less public displays of affection.

I've kissed more than a few bad and unenthusiastic kissers in Asia, while none in Europe, where every girl seems to love kissing.