[starmaze]

Importance of taking action even if you are not in state.

I wasn’t feeling social at all. I just come to buy some items in the mall. I did my shopping and was on my way to go home. When I was going up the moving stairway I saw a cute blonde going down. I looked at her but she didn’t exchange eye contact with me.

I didn’t feel to approach her. But then I said to myself: fuck your state, fuck your feelings ,
go

So I turned back and followed her to woman’s sections on first floor.

I approached and it turned to be my best approach in a long time. Girl was in me right away.She suggested an instant date! Yes, it was not me who suggested instate date but HER. It never happened to me before.

I wasn’t in best state. My approach wasn’t perfect. I didn’t feel so confident. But i didnt have to. All it took was to take some action.

Don’t let your emotional state rule over you. Don’t let your feelings stop you from taking action.
These are girls who let emotions run their life. Man si able to control his emotions by his will.

Don’t be a girl. Be a man who shape his life with will power.

[eradicator]

I agree and I also disagree. I agree that you should not let not being in a 100% mood where everything is going your way be a reason to not approach women you are attracted to.

I disagree in that for me at least, it is always much easier to approach women when I have everything else in my life going well and I am already in a good mood(work, sports, everything else)

[Manipulator]

I bet that success turned your entire day around. Congrats. I find myself in the same boat as this many times. It is easy to get down on yourself when things are not going perfect and miss out on opportunities. Luck does seem to follow me when I bite the bullet and follow my initial instinct. However we all know we make our own luck and it is really called effort.

[funkyzeit]

Mood is important and you shouldn't force your mood or fake it because it'll rarely work. I would slightly rephrase your advice and say that your emotional state should not be shaken easily, especially by a woman. Emotional firmness is highly attractive male trait.

[Bill]

Fake it till you make has it´s own risks for example bad idea fighting against Mike Tyson.

[starmaze]

eradicator:

Of course its much easier when you are in good mood. it would be perfect if i could be in 100% mood all the time but waht if its not possible? The point of this post is to take action inspite of your state. It helps you grow faster. And you could be nicely surprised too.

Manipulator:

yes, definietly it made me feel really good


funkyzeit:

i dont say mood is not important. i love to be in good mood. and i agree that emotional state should not be shaken easily, especially by a woman.

What i try to say is not feeling 100% should never stop you from taking action. You shouldn't wait for perfect state. On the the other hand , just taking action itself is often the way to improve your mood dramatically.

[heavy]

I like how you didn't fake it, specifically. Rather than faking it, you said fuck it. That's a huge difference and something I have struggled at times.

I actually had a few months in my life where I was in this "confident" stage...then realized I was faking it too much. I basically said to myself "face it, you aren't suave, you aren't smooth and great with women, don't expect to ever get laid again....so what the fuck, might as well talk to them, it can't hurt"...interesting paradox, it did wonders for my confidence.

[Bill]

To much hype. I would say do the ground work and you will feel confident. If you trained enough you will feel confident to face a match.

There are enough burned out PUA approach machines who have no basis and end at puahate. Mental health is the most important.

[blueshark747]

Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, I have somewhere I need to be or something I need to do and even if a woman shows interests the older I get I find it that much easier to just give her a quick smile but continue on my way.

[Noir]

(03-11-2014 08:30 AM)starmaze Wrote:  

eradicator:

Of course its much easier when you are in good mood. it would be perfect if i could be in 100% mood all the time but waht if its not possible? The point of this post is to take action inspite of your state. It helps you grow faster. And you could be nicely surprised too.

Manipulator:

yes, definietly it made me feel really good


funkyzeit:

i dont say mood is not important. i love to be in good mood. and i agree that emotional state should not be shaken easily, especially by a woman.

What i try to say is not feeling 100% should never stop you from taking action. You shouldn't wait for perfect state. On the the other hand , just taking action itself is often the way to improve your mood dramatically.

Agreed but you're still pinging off your environment. Whatever works for you but I prefer to get myself and stay on that frequency, got my vibe going but I digress.

I dig your example, this used to happen to me a lot. Whenever I leave home now I am always prepared to meet people. Most people just need someone to talk to them, there's plenty of interesting people in this world.

[Soothesayer]

(03-11-2014 03:53 AM)starmaze Wrote:  

Importance of taking action even if you are not in state.

Don’t be a girl. Be a man who shape his life with will power.

I find this attitude helps me the most with my novels. I'm on number 8 and am at that 70% stage (55k words) where my inner critic wants to give up and just die. The story sucks. The characters are wooden and forgettable. The scenes meadering...wandering around in a fog. Everything I've ever written no matter if it is a novella or novel has this stage of dread: the 70% point of doubt. I think its just a complex form of stage fright that every writer goes through. Only way through is just to power on and write the next sentence. Then another. And another.

There are days where I've only gotten six hours of sleep and my conscious doesn't want to write. Yet if I force myself to take action, and just fucking DO IT, then I can't tell the bad days from the good days. One thing becomes certain, I can't edit a blank page.

If you hadn't approached that girl, she might have disappeared forever.

Likewise, I never know which novel will sell. I write across many genres, and know if I don't take action, one may get away. Much better to have five novels at the end of the year rather than four.

[iknowexactly]

In the psychotherapy field this is called "acting against emotion" in the system called DBT and is
considered legit and usable.

Sometimes it is really good especially when you have a bad habit pattern set up, it is almost essential to break out of the bad habit.

[soup]

Another lifestyle vs game debate.. It's comparing apples and oranges.

I agree with the op 100%