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New Year's Rules
#1

New Year's Rules

Hey guys. Just a fair warning: the following contains an almost pathetic amount of angsty rage.

I am twenty years old, and no woman has ever touched the skin of penis. The past two decades have been painful. I have had literal scores of female friends and gay male friends tell me that I am “cute,” a “stud,” and very attractive, and in the big ten college town that I live in I am often hit on by gay men in public. Still, I am an utter virgin.

/end-boo-hoo-sob-story

I have lived my life so far sucking up to the female race, but, after reading Roosh, Roissy, and others, and after observing the alpha males in my life, those days are over. It, and it is the start of my New Life.

Instead of creating a resolution, I’ve decided to create rules.

Rule 1: Women are disgusting, narcissistic, selfish creatures. Indeed, they are the enemy and our competition, reproductively speaking. This is why I will never masturbate. Never give the opposite sex that kind of power over your mind or body. My dick’s sole purpose is to piss on this planet and, if not impregnating women, to at least receive pleasure from women who want to pleasure it.

Biologically speaking, there are also good reasons to do this:

•I have read that every ejaculation resets your body’s testosterone levels to the baseline. Also, when you ejaculate, your body releases feel-good chemicals to your brain to reward you for your “good” behavior. Since masturbating and resetting your testosterone levels to baseline is clearly not good behavior, I will never again do this.

Rule 2: People like Mystery are right when they say that women will naturally ferret out your insecurities during a conversation; they will purposely let the conversation get boring or unattractive, and they will blame you for it. After the many conversations with women filled with discussions regarding my insecurities and awkward silences, I am finished with these conversations. This problem stems from the fact that I always try to think of what the other person wants me to talk about.

Fuck. That. I will talk about what I want with whom I want, and with no awkward silences because I simply don’t like them. And if the person doesn’t wish to continue the conversation, then I simply can’t be bothered with them. There are billions of other people in the world with whom I can converse.

Rule 3: I will not befriend women. For me there will be no more friend zone; there is only a sex zone, and a no-friend zone. Women are simply not intelligent or talented as men in some ways, and I’m done lying to myself that I’m attracted to them for reasons other than their pretty face, tits, and vagina. Their personalities are often nothing short of repulsive. Therefore, why I ever strove to befriend them is far beyond me.

So that's my plan for the new year. Basically follow those rules and start as many conversations with as many strange women as possible over the course of my day-to-day life. Whaddaya think?

PS. And once the new semester starts, I am done reading shtuff on the net. A part of me doubts that guys who get laid tons mostly avoid writing pointless rage rants on random net forums. [Image: blush.gif]
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#2

New Year's Rules

"Women are disgusting, narcissistic, selfish creatures."

i disagree - perhaps even worse, they are sexy, narcissistic, selfish creatures.
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#3

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 01:25 AM)badger Wrote:  

I am twenty years old, and no woman has ever touched the skin of penis.
...
Women are disgusting, narcissistic, selfish creatures.

I'm not surprised. You have too much negativity.
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#4

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 06:24 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

Quote: (01-05-2011 01:25 AM)badger Wrote:  

I am twenty years old, and no woman has ever touched the skin of penis.
...
Women are disgusting, narcissistic, selfish creatures.

I'm not surprised. You have too much negativity.

Agreed. Nothing will change unless that changes.
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#5

New Year's Rules

Watch out, Jezebel might write a piece on you!
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#6

New Year's Rules

Man, it sounds like you need a hug whether from a man or a woman. You just sound like a bitter woman hater which at your age probably isnt a good thing. I was awkward around girls in high school but managed to change things once I got more comfortable in who I was I hope you can do the same thing because being hella bitter and angry damn for sure isnt the cure to fucking more girls. Good luck turning things around.
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#7

New Year's Rules

I hear you about the negativity and sheer bitterness...but it doesn't really shine through in daily life. I bottle that up and save it for random Internet rants [Image: blush.gif] I tend to come across as a silly and very not-so-serious person in everyday life. In a way, I should direct my bitterness at my ridiculously strict religious upbringing and parents and not at the opposite sex.
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#8

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 06:28 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Watch out, Jezebel might write a piece on you!

Fork Jezebel.
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#9

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 08:37 PM)badger Wrote:  

I hear you about the negativity and sheer bitterness...but it doesn't really shine through in daily life. I bottle that up and save it for random Internet rants [Image: blush.gif] I tend to come across as a silly and very not-so-serious person in everyday life. In a way, I should direct my bitterness at my ridiculously strict religious upbringing and parents and not at the opposite sex.

Dude that shit shines through if you want it or not. Women are not psychic but they can sense if you have something going for yourself or not.

This is a advice that was given to me years ago by a friend who is no longer with us.

Find a fat chick. They're easy prey and she'll let you do anything you want. She'll also bring over beer and pizza. Then get another less fatter chick. Once you do that get a another less fatter chick. This can be done by screwing their friends. Once word gets out you're a jack rabit who's pent up because he doesn't beat his dick, they'll all want to at least try the ride out.

This is called building your stable. You always want two in the kitty to quote Roissy.

Keep upgrading.

I have seen this done in college. My Fraternity brother started off with nothing but fat chicks. We called his room in the house Moore's Harem. By the time of his senior year he was banging an 8 that he eventually married. This was an upgrade for him since he's a pudgy nerd, but an all round good guy. If a world of warcraft math nerd can land an 8 then you can too.

Since you've never been laid this is acceptable. You need a practice girl so you can learn how to do all that freaky shit. Also, look up how to make a girl cum on the net. It will do you no good if you land a 8 and then blow in four minutes. Word will get out you're a minute made laid. Girls talk. A fat chick will not care. Every fat girl has two friends too. One is a 6 the other is an 8 or 9.

I'm no player although I've played. So take my advice for what it's worth. I was the Godfather in my house and I was responsible for a few marriages, hook-ups, etc. Build your stable. You're not going to go from zero to 99 just like that. You've got to put in work.
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#10

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 09:26 PM)Vesuvius Wrote:  

Quote: (01-05-2011 08:37 PM)badger Wrote:  

I hear you about the negativity and sheer bitterness...but it doesn't really shine through in daily life. I bottle that up and save it for random Internet rants [Image: blush.gif] I tend to come across as a silly and very not-so-serious person in everyday life. In a way, I should direct my bitterness at my ridiculously strict religious upbringing and parents and not at the opposite sex.

Dude that shit shines through if you want it or not. Women are not psychic but they can sense if you have something going for yourself or not.

This is a advice that was given to me years ago by a friend who is no longer with us.

Find a fat chick. They're easy prey and she'll let you do anything you want. She'll also bring over beer and pizza. Then get another less fatter chick. Once you do that get a another less fatter chick. This can be done by screwing their friends. Once word gets out you're a jack rabit who's pent up because he doesn't beat his dick, they'll all want to at least try the ride out.

This is called building your stable. You always want two in the kitty to quote Roissy.

Keep upgrading.

I have seen this done in college. My Fraternity brother started off with nothing but fat chicks. We called his room in the house Moore's Harem. By the time of his senior year he was banging an 8 that he eventually married. This was an upgrade for him since he's a pudgy nerd, but an all round good guy. If a world of warcraft math nerd can land an 8 then you can too.

Since you've never been laid this is acceptable. You need a practice girl so you can learn how to do all that freaky shit. Also, look up how to make a girl cum on the net. It will do you no good if you land a 8 and then blow in four minutes. Word will get out you're a minute made laid. Girls talk. A fat chick will not care. Every fat girl has two friends too. One is a 6 the other is an 8 or 9.

I'm no player although I've played. So take my advice for what it's worth. I was the Godfather in my house and I was responsible for a few marriages, hook-ups, etc. Build your stable. You're not going to go from zero to 99 just like that. You've got to put in work.

This post was such epicness. I thank you from the depths of my soul.
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#11

New Year's Rules

C'mon man? I can see another thing. EGO

Get rid of it.

That's why there are sites like these. To lift us all up. I'm not trying to shit on you man! Honestly. The difference between me and you is we're both on the outside looking in, but I've had my day in the sun. I'm getting back in.

Yeah, if it helps you to not play your johnson like a Schecter Hellraiser by all means.

For real though, you need a practice girl.
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#12

New Year's Rules

You're over-analyzing approaching women and why you're not getting laid. Just get out there and put in the effort and you'll see results.
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#13

New Year's Rules

Quote: (01-05-2011 10:35 PM)Vesuvius Wrote:  

C'mon man? I can see another thing. EGO

Get rid of it.

That's why there are sites like these. To lift us all up. I'm not trying to shit on you man! Honestly. The difference between me and you is we're both on the outside looking in, but I've had my day in the sun. I'm getting back in.

Yeah, if it helps you to not play your johnson like a Schecter Hellraiser by all means.

For real though, you need a practice girl.

I think he was being serious. It was good advice.
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#14

New Year's Rules

Haha I actually was being serious. Thanks man! No biggie tho. Still...wish me luck today. I'm visiting this girl and I just...might...get some. I dunno. I plan on enjoying myself either way.
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#15

New Year's Rules

You guys think about this shit WAY too much. Relax. And listen to words of wisdom.


http://funnyjunk.com/movies/3733/

This is my New Year's Resolution.
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