[Dusty]

(03-22-2014 11:37 PM)Sugar Wrote:  

If your cock's inside her.

[lush1]

Funnily enough a big one for me is lack of eye contact, her looking down or to the side when talking to you. Means shes nervous. See also fiddling with her phone when you're in her vicinity.

[Parlay44]

(03-22-2014 11:48 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

(03-22-2014 11:37 PM)Sugar Wrote:  

If your cock's inside her.

Not where I come from

[Screwston]

(03-02-2014 11:03 PM)deathtofatties Wrote:  

It's all in the eyes. The eye fuck, the sparkle, that glow. Big open eyes glancing for a split second.

That's the main thing I look for. They always just stare in your eyes like a psycho when theyre feeling you. The other more obvious ones are touching you in any way and laughing at all your stupid jokes.

[MoveOnUp]

Hey, I'm a lurker, but I felt compelled to post on this thread - to me, being able to read IOIs is one of the foundational skills/aspects of 'Game.' Once you get really good at this stuff (i.e. reading BODY LANGUAGE, seductive or otherwise), it will blow your mind that there is this whole world of 'ambient communication' out there. Something like 93% of what people are REALLY saying is communicated non-verbally (i.e. body language and tone of voice as opposed to just words). Women are born with a 'sixth sense' of being attuned to this non-verbal communication, but as a man, you need to intellectualize and learn it.

So, this is a list of IOIs/tells excerpted from my personal 'notes' document that I made in my heavy 'note-taking'/game-blog-reading phase. They are signals that I read about on blogs, in books, and have experienced in my day to day life:

-Touches, flips, twirls, strokes or fusses with her hair, or brushes it across her forehead or behind her ear(s).
-Prolonged eye contact or a sideways glance.
-Looks down when eye contact is made (even better if she also smiles).
-Looks at you, looks away, quickly looks back, looks away again, etc.
-Widened, glistening eyes and slightly raised eyebrows.
-Dilated pupils.
-Lowered eyelids.
-Her eyes move from your eyes to your lips, or lower to your chest, and back up.
-You catch her staring at you.
-Smiles at you.
-Touches you in any way (places her hand on your arm, chest, thigh, grabs your hand, etc).
-“Accidentally” touches/bumps into you.
-Playfully punches or hits you.
-Asks personal questions about you (i.e. your name, where you live).
-Asks if you have a girlfriend, or mentions your girlfriend (even if you don’t have one).
-Laughs enthusiastically and/or loudly at your jokes, even if they are not that funny (i.e. “I’m funny, but I’m not THAT funny”).
-Giggles.
-Compliments you or says she likes something about you.
-Re-initiates conversations when there is silence.
-Initiates any kind of conversation.
-Moves into your vicinity.
-Finds any excuse to talk to you or be near you.
-Leans into you in conversation.
-Rests her head on her hand(s) (“framing her face”).
-Body (i.e. feet and shoulders) directly faces you (even if her face is not).
-Sits with her legs crossed, with knee/foot pointing directly at you (even if her face is not).
-Blows smoke at you/in your direction.
-Repeatedly crosses and uncrosses her legs.
-Dangles shoe from foot while sitting.
-Absence of crossed arms.
-Crossed legs when standing up.
-Licks her lips.
-Bites her lower lip.
-Applies chapstick or lipstick.
-Chews on a pen, finger, or any other object.
-“Sucks in” her lips.
-Fidgets with a piece of clothing or item.
-Strokes bottle, stem of wine glass or other cylindrical object.
-Rubs/strokes/touches herself anywhere.
-Adjusts/straightens clothing to look better or “perfect.”
-Moves clothes to show you skin (i.e. lifts her skirt or lets her sleeve fall over her shoulder).
-Crosses her legs so you have a good view of her thigh (i.e. the thigh is "on display," facing you)
-Thrusts out tits or ass, or “perks up.”
-Exposes underside of wrists.
-Exposes her palms.
-Tilts head to the side, exposing neck.
-Lowers her head and looks up at you.
-Blushes.
-Stumbles on her words or talks quickly, or alternatively lost for words.
-“Trips up” or “stumbles” in a nervous or caught-off-guard way, sometimes even slightly as a body movement “hiccup.” Her eyes may also “hiccup.”
-Says your name in conversation.
-Mimics your talking style (pronunciation, exclamation, inflection, etc.) and repeats words or phrases that you’ve said.
-Mirrors your body language.
-Buys or gives you something.
-Tells you that you’re attractive/hot/cute/handsome.
-Tells you that you’re a player, or accuses you of having many girlfriends or hookups.
-Gives you her number.
-Gives you shit.

-However, if you are a so-called "good looking guy," she may be standoffish or appear disinterested (i.e. not giving the above “indicators of interest”), even though she is attracted to you. Search out blog posts about "good-looking guy game."

I HIGHLY recommend reading "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara & Allan Pease - read this book, and you'll be able to read people like a book.

[lush1]

Does anyone else think a girl fixing her hair as she is walking away from you after the interaction is an IOI? I think its a massive one.

[sox]

So much of this is subjective. Almost every girl I've gone on a date with lately has twirled/played with her hair, and I don't necessarily think they were all interested. Not that it would've affected how I played things out anyway, just sayin. A lot of these IOI's are normal behaviors for young/flirty/social girls.

[Dusty]

[YossariansRight]

(03-02-2014 11:14 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  

To some extent I feel like putting too much effort into figuring out whether a girl likes you is counterproductive. Sure, it's nice to be able to get a feel on where you stand with a chick so you can anticipate how she'll react if you (e.g.) get more physical with her or go for a makeout, but in a lot of situations (especially soon after you've met her), I think it's better to just go for shit regardless of whether you think the chick is into you and use your limited mental resources on things that are more within your control. If it works great, if not and you get rejected then who cares. After all, there will be a certain percentage of the time when the girl wasn't showing many obvious signs of attraction but accepts your escalation anyway.

With the girl in your story for instance, I think it would have made sense to hit on her whether or not you got the vibe that she was being extra friendly to you (granted it may have impacted the way you approached her--maybe you would have gone indirect instead, but with that caveat I think my general point still stands). The great thing about cold approaching is that there's literally no downside at all once you get over your own ego.

I agree. Paralysis by over analysis gets nothing accomplished. Step into the batter's box and swing.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

When a girl reaches for common ground in a convo it means she wants to continue talking.

I was in line without my glasses and asked a girl what a sign near the register said. She answered, then started telling me "I don't wear my glasses, either! I hate wearing glasses."

Of course, I just left the store and didn't realize it was an IOI until about an hour later. This is a way women will give you an opening to start talking. If they didn't like you, they'd just give a factual answer and end it there, hoping you won't saying anything else (think of the way you answer fat women's questions). So learn from my mistake and say something in return, don't just say "OK, thanks" and leave.

[Parlay44]

So it ends up the girl I picked up was Pakistani not Indian. Cute as hell. I didn't find out her age but she's in college so she can't be over 23.

[Nascimento]

Some of these are good, but to an extent having so many iois to look for is counter productive.

Get more experience with women being attracted to you and you will know by gut instinct when they are giving you tells. Any newbie should be looking for these signs, but the good thing is that as your game improves you dont have to look for them, you just feel it.

[HankRearden]

I think a major IOI weakness of mine is that I can't pick up on the dilated pupils thing. Every guy knows the "puppy dog" eyes, but I feel like that is just super obvious. Can someone differentiate the two?

[travolta]

A big one that most guys overlook is when a girl is still sticking around by you after you've started talking to her. If she's still standing there after a minute or two then you really need to turn things up a notch and take the interaction to the next level.

[Earth]

she is willing to meet you alone and accepts physical escalation. any refusal to meet you or meet you alone or stop any form of physical escalation usually means she's not genuinely interested. also, sometimes girls like you so much they stop your physical escalations so you don't think they're sluts and they want to date you.

[Jukes]

(03-27-2014 12:57 PM)MoveOnUp Wrote:  

Hey, I'm a lurker, but I felt compelled to post on this thread - to me, being able to read IOIs is one of the foundational skills/aspects of 'Game.' Once you get really good at this stuff (i.e. reading BODY LANGUAGE, seductive or otherwise), it will blow your mind that there is this whole world of 'ambient communication' out there. Something like 93% of what people are REALLY saying is communicated non-verbally (i.e. body language and tone of voice as opposed to just words). Women are born with a 'sixth sense' of being attuned to this non-verbal communication, but as a man, you need to intellectualize and learn it.

So, this is a list of IOIs/tells excerpted from my personal 'notes' document that I made in my heavy 'note-taking'/game-blog-reading phase. They are signals that I read about on blogs, in books, and have experienced in my day to day life:

-Touches, flips, twirls, strokes or fusses with her hair, or brushes it across her forehead or behind her ear(s).
-Prolonged eye contact or a sideways glance.
-Looks down when eye contact is made (even better if she also smiles).
-Looks at you, looks away, quickly looks back, looks away again, etc.
-Widened, glistening eyes and slightly raised eyebrows.
-Dilated pupils.
-Lowered eyelids.
-Her eyes move from your eyes to your lips, or lower to your chest, and back up.
-You catch her staring at you.
-Smiles at you.
-Touches you in any way (places her hand on your arm, chest, thigh, grabs your hand, etc).
-“Accidentally” touches/bumps into you.
-Playfully punches or hits you.
-Asks personal questions about you (i.e. your name, where you live).
-Asks if you have a girlfriend, or mentions your girlfriend (even if you don’t have one).
-Laughs enthusiastically and/or loudly at your jokes, even if they are not that funny (i.e. “I’m funny, but I’m not THAT funny”).
-Giggles.
-Compliments you or says she likes something about you.
-Re-initiates conversations when there is silence.
-Initiates any kind of conversation.
-Moves into your vicinity.
-Finds any excuse to talk to you or be near you.
-Leans into you in conversation.
-Rests her head on her hand(s) (“framing her face”).
-Body (i.e. feet and shoulders) directly faces you (even if her face is not).
-Sits with her legs crossed, with knee/foot pointing directly at you (even if her face is not).
-Blows smoke at you/in your direction.
-Repeatedly crosses and uncrosses her legs.
-Dangles shoe from foot while sitting.
-Absence of crossed arms.
-Crossed legs when standing up.
-Licks her lips.
-Bites her lower lip.
-Applies chapstick or lipstick.
-Chews on a pen, finger, or any other object.
-“Sucks in” her lips.
-Fidgets with a piece of clothing or item.
-Strokes bottle, stem of wine glass or other cylindrical object.
-Rubs/strokes/touches herself anywhere.
-Adjusts/straightens clothing to look better or “perfect.”
-Moves clothes to show you skin (i.e. lifts her skirt or lets her sleeve fall over her shoulder).
-Crosses her legs so you have a good view of her thigh (i.e. the thigh is "on display," facing you)
-Thrusts out tits or ass, or “perks up.”
-Exposes underside of wrists.
-Exposes her palms.
-Tilts head to the side, exposing neck.
-Lowers her head and looks up at you.
-Blushes.
-Stumbles on her words or talks quickly, or alternatively lost for words.
-“Trips up” or “stumbles” in a nervous or caught-off-guard way, sometimes even slightly as a body movement “hiccup.” Her eyes may also “hiccup.”
-Says your name in conversation.
-Mimics your talking style (pronunciation, exclamation, inflection, etc.) and repeats words or phrases that you’ve said.
-Mirrors your body language.
-Buys or gives you something.
-Tells you that you’re attractive/hot/cute/handsome.
-Tells you that you’re a player, or accuses you of having many girlfriends or hookups.
-Gives you her number.
-Gives you shit.

-However, if you are a so-called "good looking guy," she may be standoffish or appear disinterested (i.e. not giving the above “indicators of interest”), even though she is attracted to you. Search out blog posts about "good-looking guy game."

I HIGHLY recommend reading "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara & Allan Pease - read this book, and you'll be able to read people like a book.

Damn , I got hit with a lot of signs an hour ago at the bodega getting a sandwich . Let see . Sideways glance , loud conversation to herself by me , doing commercial moves with her hair , thrusting her ass out , twisting her body by me , and telling her loud gay friend she wants chocolate . Also , she kept complimenting my body and stated a lot of girls mentition it as well ( player ) . Good list !

[theking]

While interesting and useful at times I think "recognizing'' iois" is not something one should put a lot of effort into. Just keep escalating and when you're having sex hopefully you know the answer

[daddysanchez]

I'm still having a hard time deciphering "ioi"s. I assume all girls are interested in me anyways so what's more important that looking for that validation, because that's a what an "IOI" is anyway guys, validation given through body language. Fuck all that, it'd be impossible to look for each and every one. Just do you and escalate until you fail, IF you fail.

[Parlay44]

I think blushing is an obvious one guys miss. It's been called the female hard-on.

[Travesty]

For the guys saying ignore IOI's just go for it...

Subtle IOI's and not so subtle ones can tell when and how hard to escalate at the Right Time. Timing in escalation and the general push pull of the entire seduction is a key.

Girls can give you tiny cues that open a window to push extremely hard. If your timing is off though it can either delay bangs or even lose them.

[draketton]

(04-25-2014 05:45 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I think blushing is an obvious one guys miss. It's been called the female hard-on.

Hard to see a blush through a layer of pancake makeup.

[MoveOnUp]

Yeah, Travesty444 is right on. I'm really a bit surprised that so many posters are saying "don't worry about body language, just plow ahead." Not trying to be accusatory/argumentative, but that approach comes across to me as tone deaf and almost borderline game-denialism.

The ultimate aim of learning about body language and applying that knowledge is not about nerding out and running down a checklist. It's like other aspects of learning game- at first it's clunky and 'fake,' and you ARE being systematic about it, but eventually you internalize it and you just 'do it': you no longer need training wheels, because you 'are' the training wheels, so to speak.

Imagine it like learning a new 'sense.' It's like infrared, or Neo in the matrix (I know, just bear with me)- it really is that powerful. Wouldn't you want another sense? All of the subtle signs become blindingly obvious ones. It's less like "Oh jeeze, that HB 8.2 is doing a, b, and c! It all adds up!" and more like being able to spot a receptive, interested, excited horny girl in a split second. You just know what it looks like, you're not even breaking it down at that point.

I'm only going on and on about this because I want to impress on anyone reading how powerful this stuff is. I hope I was articulate enough in making the case.

---

Here's a test: next time you're drinking with some people, look to see that when someone takes a drink, others do it too... at the same time. Unconscious mirroring. It might even freak you out how this happens on cue.

Here's another: when you make eye contact with a girl who is walking by you, hold it. Do not break it first. If she looks down (submissive emotional response=tingles), she's interested. If she looks to the side, she might be interested (neutral). If she looks up, she thinks you're below her.

---

http://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Bo...+book+body

"The Definitive Book of Body Language" is fucking GOLD.

[Nomad77]

I am very good at detecting attraction BUT I have learned that it is not enough. There are two other factors besides attraction that directly impacts results: will and means.

results = attraction + will + means

What this means is that for her to take action she must also possess BOTH the will and means to do so. Let me give some examples:

1. A girl is extremely attracted to you and she is letting you know BUT she is also extremely married. Unless she possess the will to
act on her attraction it doesn't matter.

2. You meet a girl in the airport and you guys hit it off BUT she lives in Helsinki and is about to fly there. Sure, she would like to meet again
but when and how. She possess both the attraction and the will but not the means to act on them.

3. A girl just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. She goes out and gets a little buzzed. You start chatting her up and she finds
you attractive enough and invites you back to her place for some revenge sex. She has both the will and the means to act even if the attraction is only so-so.

4. And sometimes even having all three is not enough. A girl finds you attractive, wants to see you again and can BUT she is worried what her
family will say because you are not of the same religion or race. While she has all three factors, there are all being undermined by an external
factor neither you nor her have any control over.

The bottom line: attraction is not enough. It is only one factor in a complex and dynamic equation of many factors that determines if a girl will actually do anything with you in the present. (And this also applies equally to men.)

[Cobra]

I'm waiting at a dealership for my car to be serviced.

I'm getting better at reading IOIs but sometimes I'm a bit dumbfounded and I have a hard time smiling at them when they are obviously looking at me and I at them.

Another thing I've noticed is a look that girls have when you look at them and their face is slightly turned. Or they're walking towards you and you look at them but they don't directly look at you.

It's like they see you looking at them from the corner of their eye in each instance and they look a bit nervous or maybe even aloof but definitely not normal. I mean there seems to be a slight blink in their eye before this look comes which sort of gives it away.

Am I delusional? Before getting into game I thought they were just ignoring me but now I know that this is not entirely true and there could be something more I'm missing here.

[Nomad77]

You are reading too much into things. If you find a girl attractive look at her and let her know. You don't need to smile. The more attracted I am to a girl the more serious I become.