[Bad Hussar]

What are people's thoughts about them? I know that most single-sex "public" schools in the UK have become co-ed, and that there have always been very few of them in America. But in some parts of the world, like South Africa for example, they are not that uncommon. In fact far more than 50% of the "top" schools in the country are single-sex schools. The only nationwide exception really being Jewish day-schools which are co-ed (I guess most SA Jews are reform rather than orthodox), though many do not regard them as top schools because, true to stereotype I'm afraid, they are often stellar academically, but suck at sports. But aside from them the best schools in the country are overwhelmingly single-sex, in the British tradition of "public" schools.

Everyone here knows people who went to both single sex and co-ed schools, and as far as "socialisation" is concerned there is no real difference. If you are great with girls, or suck with them, you probably need to look elsewhere for reasons. But some people think there are benefits since both young men and young women can complete their school day without being too distracted by the other sex. Each school is typically paired with another school serving the opposite sex that is it's natural twin in the typical ways you can imagine. So young men and women meet up, it's just that it happens outside schools at sports meetings, parties and so on.

My question is: What do the members think of single sex schools? Would you send your son/daughter to one? Do you think you would have had a better/worse school experience if you had been to one. Can't imagine there are many here who did go to a boys only school, since there are now so few in the lands most represented, but if you did: Do you feel that separating the sexes at school was beneficial to you?

[Prophylaxis]

I went to an all-boys school. Loved it. Easier to focus, got great grades and no way I'd be where I'm at if I had to worry about women through high-school.

It's amazing how much you can accomplish if you're not constantly chasing tail.

Sure, when I graduated I was a bit behind the 8-ball, but that just gave me a complex which has made me a determined motherfucker about picking up.

[TopPanda]

Went to an all boys school when I was 11. I was a small kid, but that place really toughened me up. I never got bullied, but I saw some hideous fights.

Oddly enough (or not) the toughest teachers there were the women.

[Baldwin81]

I went to all boys high school. Like anything else, let's call it 20 percent of the guys (lacrosse players, mostly, but drug guys, too) got with 80 percent of the girls from nearby all-girls schools. Based on experience, I'd argue that there is a socialisation problem. If you were not in that top 20 percent then you really didn't get any consistent socialization with girls. Haha, thinking back, we 80 percenters would pretend to be banging some girl that nobody else ever met.

Still, it was quite possible that one could leave an all boys high school being just as nervous and awkward around girls as when he left 8th grade. At a co-ed school you could at least interact with girls on a daily basis... even if you weren't getting laid. Thinking back again, I always thought the lacrosse guys had it made because they wouldn't have to deal with girlfriends during the day but would still get to bang regularly.

The positives are that all-boys school can really toughen you up. No whining, no crying, no transpcgenderqueer-nonsense, everyone competes and only a handful win.

Last but not least (or perhaps least, if life after school is any guide...) the education was very good. College gets a hard time on RVF and justifiably so, but a good high school education has value and I definitely would have learned less if there had been girls around.

It's a close call. Not being around girls and not being in that top 20% really blew. In the end - I realize this more as I get older - I'd say that the education and the toughening-up made the experience worthwhile. Haha, I guess all boys school is alright so long as you find out about game. Ironically, the intellectual curiousity to seek out game literature was fostered at all boys school.

[runsonmagic]

(02-24-2014 03:42 PM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

It's amazing how much you can accomplish if you're not constantly chasing tail.

I feel this way during every dry spell.

[Bad Hussar]

(02-24-2014 04:17 PM)Baldwin81 Wrote:  

I went to all boys high school. Like anything else, let's call it 20 percent of the guys (lacrosse players, mostly, but drug guys, too) got with 80 percent of the girls from nearby all-girls schools. Based on experience, I'd argue that there is a socialisation problem. If you were not in that top 20 percent then you really didn't get any consistent socialization with girls. Haha, thinking back, we 80 percenters would pretend to be banging some girl that nobody else ever met.

Still, it was quite possible that one could leave an all boys high school being just as nervous and awkward around girls as when he left 8th grade. At a co-ed school you could at least interact with girls on a daily basis... even if you weren't getting laid. Thinking back again, I always thought the lacrosse guys had it made because they wouldn't have to deal with girlfriends during the day but would still get to bang regularly.

The positives are that all-boys school can really toughen you up. No whining, no crying, no transpcgenderqueer-nonsense, everyone competes and only a handful win.

Last but not least (or perhaps least, if life after school is any guide...) the education was very good. College gets a hard time on RVF and justifiably so, but a good high school education has value and I definitely would have learned less if there had been girls around.

It's a close call. Not being around girls and not being in that top 20% really blew. In the end - I realize this more as I get older - I'd say that the education and the toughening-up made the experience worthwhile. Haha, I guess all boys school is alright so long as you find out about game. Ironically, the intellectual curiousity to seek out game literature was fostered at all boys school.

I guess the 80:20 rule applies everywhere. Think about how it would have been if you were at a co-ed school. Being in the 80% would mean more constant rejection. At least during school hours at a boys school you could forget about that.

My own opinion is that it doesn't make that much difference, though I am leaning to sending my (hypothetical) children (both sons and daughters) to all - boys/girls schools. As much because they are usually the best schools as with any other possible benefits.

[Jsprint]

I went to an All Boys Boarding school in the middle of nowhere, the nearest girls school was 2 hours away. I loved the experience. I really felt that the lack of girls allowed the guys just to act naturally, there was no stigma around being smart and working hard like in co-ed schools where if you are studious you are seen as a nerd. We had great sports teams and I really felt the teachers (all male) could teach us properly without having to be politically correct. I loved it, there was always something going on and everyday something funny would happen.

[void]

How are you supposed to develop any competence with females, if you have no contact with them during normal life? Imagine having no sister, going to an all boys school and doing a STEM degree. You either find RVF or something similar or die after a very frustrating beta life.

[Bad Hussar]

(02-24-2014 05:01 PM)void Wrote:  

How are you supposed to develop any competence with females, if you have no contact with them during normal life? Imagine having no sister, going to an all boys school and doing a STEM degree. You either find RVF or something similar or die after a very frustrating beta life.

An all-boys school will usually be paired with a all-girls school with the same religious (if any) affiliation, socio-economic status and ideally geography. Girls from the girls schools will typically come and support the boys sports teams when playing a match, and the boys will do the same with the girls sports, or when they have a dance etc. Also, school isn't your whole life. There are obviously parties and other meet-ups outside of school.

[Baldwin81]

(02-24-2014 04:39 PM)Bad Hussar Wrote:  

I guess the 80:20 rule applies everywhere. Think about how it would have been if you were at a co-ed school. Being in the 80% would mean more constant rejection. At least during school hours at a boys school you could forget about that.

My own opinion is that it doesn't make that much difference, though I am leaning to sending my (hypothetical) children (both sons and daughters) to all - boys/girls schools. As much because they are usually the best schools as with any other possible benefits.

Maybe it would mean a more constant rejection. Looking back, I thought that I could at least score something if there were girls around. It seemed like even the not-so-cool kids in co-ed school got laid... of course this could've be naivete on the part of my 15 year old self. I mean, I would've stuck by dick in a light socket if I thought it to be an accurate simulation of the real thing.

On the main point I think we agree, single sex school beats co-ed school so long as the west continues to soften. It's easy to say that an all-boys school could produce what's called a "beta," and they sure do, but I'd bet that nowadays co-ed schools are even worse in that respect.

[Pride male]

I hated being at a boarding boys school. I think I would have been a different person if I grew up at a co-ed.

[911]

I started out in a Catholic all-boys boarding school, good memories, lifetime friendships. It works even better if there are some close ties with nearby girls schools.

Fast-forward to today: one of my best friends' daughter, who went to Catholic school in SF, attended one of the 7 Sisters elite liberal arts all-girl colleges. She is a straight, fairly devout, good looking young woman, raised in a traditional Filipino household (liberal 2nd-gen Filipino-american dad who married a more conservative woman from the Islands). She got harrassed in college by lez feminists, and was somewhat stigmatized for being a straight Catholic woman. She ended up transferring to Georgetown, where she is much happier.

I wonder if those same dynamics haven't trickled down to the HS level today, when you hear about all-girl schools where teachers aren't allowed to call their pupils "girls" and with all the gender disruption agendas. Specifically, if there would be more pressure, or at least more in-your-face exposure to lesbianism. It's probably not the case in Catholic schools, but maybe non-denominational girl schools, or even some of the more "progressive" Protestant schools, are more susceptible to this.

[H1N1]

I went to an all boys boarding school with a very academic reputation. It was glorious. I loved every second of it, and I'd love to go back now for another 5 years if I had the chance, because such was the calibre of teacher that I would still be stretched as far as my talents allow for many, many years. There were no girls, and the lowest IQ (apparently, according to the master of admissions) at one point was 127, for whatever that's worth. So even the dumb ones were relatively clever. I love that place more than I can adequately express. I would send my children there if they were very academic. For the bottom 25% or so it was not a terribly happy place, because the standards were so high, and the ease with which everyone got top grades was upsetting to the few who required a more structured approach to learning.

It was the most magical place for a child who really loved learning. It was a place where it was normal to find 50%+ of the school in the library on one of our 3 afternoons off each week, or in the evenings. The kind of place that noone thought it strange that once I was in 6th form (16-18) I would go round to various teachers private houses in the evenings and talk more about something I was interested in (plenty of the boys did this too). Teachers were perfectly happy to do this provided you read up and were (as far as could be expected of a child) able to contribute to an intellectual discussion.

I love my school perhaps more than anywhere else in the world. The only time I ever think of children at my age now is in the sincere hope that they are bright enough to go, and that I can give them that gift that my parents sacrificed so much to give me. I hope I'll be able to leave money to the school one day so that it continues as it is.

I have some tremendous friends from my time there, and I have been reminding myself of that this summer as I've made a concerted effort to catch up with them. Without girls our friendships were pretty wholesome and uncomplicated, and based entirely on shared experience (and shared suffering). We were entirely undistracted, and able to focus all of our energies and enthusiasms into our friendships.

It was a pretty adversarial environment. You stayed in a boarding house with 12 boys from each of the five year groups, and those 12 boys didn't change over the entire time. You lived in dormitories together for the first 4 years, and only got your own room in your final year. You literally grew up together through your most formative years.

I could go on indefinitely. It's the most fantastic, extraordinary thing to have experienced - and will probably remain the greatest privilege of my entire life. It's almost enough to make one want to marry a 'clever' girl, to improve my son's chances of getting in. Almost.

[Hell_Is_Like_Newark]

Spent two years in an all boys military school. One of the best things that happened to me:

* No political correctness / group think. You could speak freely (in an academic setting).
* Male teachers who knew how to teach and inspire aggressive but unfocused boys / young men. I looked at becoming an engineer in a large part to the encouragement from my math instructor (retired electrical engineer - US Navy officer).
* My SAT scores after the first year went up so much, I was told I would likely be investigated for cheating.

Boys learn differently than girls. Boys do better when a certain amount of rough and tumble is allowed (within limits). If any girl ended up in our classes, the normal back and forth banter would cause her to leave in tears (followed by a lawsuit).

[Tim in real life]

I previously attended an all-boys Catholic school; unfortunately, because of the fact my maternal grandfather passed away the same month as my 8th birthday and started receiving living hell from my female relatives AND being raised by my maternal clan (read: mostly females from my maternal clan), my low grades obviously reflected that; this began my intense distrust of my own maternal flesh and blood. Add to that almost ALL of my teachers were females.

A single-gender school works when you have a strong spine that got developed with a strong paternal figure.