[XXL]

Read "Men from mars women from venus" first. Yes it's mainstream and popular book but there is a lot of great basic and practical knowledge inside, beside that it's fun to read. "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" is also cool. These two books cover basic stuff about everyday life of men and women, misunderstandings we face and how we differ from each other.

"The way of the superior man" is more woo woo and covers more deep man-woman dynamics. Foe example D.Deida writes that the way to be attractive forever is to be on your path in life and never sacrifice your life mission to please a woman etc etc. So that's more heavy, more life classic self help shit.

My absolute favorite is "the manipulated man". But that's kind of fucked up cause it can turn you into animal haha. Basically it's a book written by a woman about how useless women are and how they exploit men for their own selfish purposes. Very controversial but super funny to read for a man. Your world go upside down after this book so be warned.

As for this girl, first of all don't apologize. I see 2 ways..

1. Easy way. I'd text "hey are you ok? you can ask me too, that's how human communicate in general we should talk and work it out cause it's childish that we play like that, let me know if you're on the same page". It's normal and mature and sounds like it supposed to "work" [make her answer and come see you] but who the hell really knows what's up with her. She's a girl after all.

2. Hard way. I'd text "I miss you [name], yes, I'm not a fucking machine.. but you treat me like a dog and I'll remember that even though you know I'd rather not to. stop being immature and answer me if you still care about us". Something like that. Just something provocative that can hurt her feelings [you know better what can do the job hehe] so that it can make her respond to you to have the last word [ego]. If she texts back call her immediately and try to work it out.

[SheWantsTheD]

(02-22-2014 12:01 PM)XXL Wrote:  

Read "Men from mars women from venus" first. Yes it's mainstream and popular book but there is a lot of great basic and practical knowledge inside, beside that it's fun to read. "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" is also cool. These two books cover basic stuff about everyday life of men and women, misunderstandings we face and how we differ from each other.

"The way of the superior man" is more woo woo and covers more deep man-woman dynamics. Foe example D.Deida writes that the way to be attractive forever is to be on your path in life and never sacrifice your life mission to please a woman etc etc. So that's more heavy, more life classic self help shit.

My absolute favorite is "the manipulated man". But that's kind of fucked up cause it can turn you into animal haha. Basically it's a book written by a woman about how useless women are and how they exploit men for their own selfish purposes. Very controversial but super funny to read for a man. Your world go upside down after this book so be warned.

As for this girl, first of all don't apologize. I see 2 ways..

1. Easy way. I'd text "hey are you ok? you can ask me too, that's how human communicate in general we should talk and work it out cause it's childish that we play like that, let me know if you're on the same page". It's normal and mature and sounds like it supposed to "work" [make her answer and come see you] but who the hell really knows what's up with her. She's a girl after all.

2. Hard way. I'd text "I miss you [name], yes, I'm not a fucking machine.. but you treat me like a dog and I'll remember that even though you know I'd rather not to. stop being immature and answer me if you still care about us". Something like that. Just something provocative that can hurt her feelings [you know better what can do the job hehe] so that it can make her respond to you to have the last word [ego]. If she texts back call her immediately and try to work it out.

Thanks brother. On it right now.

[WestIndianArchie]

I've been here before.

If she has a problem with A, you can stop doing A.
Then she'll have a problem with B, and you'll stop doing B.
I'll run out of letters before she runs out of problems.

She wants you to be beta.
Being beta ended your last relationships.
Even when being beta doesn't end the relationship, you're at the mercy of her whims.

Thus you are in a bind.

What do you want?
What price are you willing to pay?

The whole idea that you can suddenly be "Alpha" (alpha in quotes) and the chick will just settle down with her 'gina tingling is some bullshit that you read on blogs. Even stone cold pimps lose whores.

When you're in a relationship, one that you care about, your job is never over.
You have to be ever vigilant.

And if you can't verbally and emotionally manipulate her at all times - you have women waiting in the wings dying to be the queen to your king.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

As to your situation

1. Send her a text, "I'm at work/school. We need to talk, meet me at XXX" Don't respond to her phone calls, important relationship stuff needs to be done in person.

2. I know that what I said hurt you. I have said that i'm sorry. I don't want to lose all that we've got, or that we may have. But if you can not accept my apology for hurting your feelings, THIS RELATIONSHIP ISN'T GOING TO LAST. I care about you. I will never beg for your forgiveness. You will not hold me hostage with your unhappiness.

3. Be silent and be prepared to walk out.

This pretty much all that you can do. It's all you could ever do.

The main idea that you need to get across
- you're sorry
- if she's mad in the future, you'll say sorry
- but she needs to realize that she's gonna be mad at you in the future, but treating you like this will push you away and end the relationship
- you might even hint that if the relationship ends, you'll be alright (probably knee deep in some other younger and hotter chick's pussy)

WIA

PS - Since I don't know how to structure my thoughts right -

Most guys in relationships, especially cats new to the game, new to the red pill - they rarely see the bullshit that their women does to them on a regular basis.

Most of the relationship is you playing defense, you catering to her whims.
You've got to ask yourself
- What is she bringing to the table other than sex and companionship
- What behavior of hers is making my life better, making my life a living hell?
- What could/should I be asking her to do for me? How can I put her into MY SERVICE instead of the other way around.

You see it all over this forum
- chick gotta have long hair and be skinny
- she's got to be practically virginal but fuck like a trailer park meth head whore
- she'd better cook and keep a clean house

What else can she do for you?

Ask yourself that?
What can she do for you, that you currently do for yourself?

Let her put some time, money, and effort into something YOU WANT.
Not the 2 of you want, but what you and your selfish self wants.

[SheWantsTheD]

Well, I did what XXL suggested. Sent option #1 over text, she texted back two mins later, I called immediately. We talked for like 10 mins and she said she did t want to talk about it on the phone, but to come over later and talk. Her neice beeped in so she said she'd call me right back. She called me right back and we talked for another half hour. She told me she missed and loved me and I did the same.

I went over later last night and we talked and she said she felt like she came over to my apartment to see me because she missed me and when I said I know you do she felt like I just cared less about her. I told her that was not how I felt at all and she should know that by all that I say and do. I said that I joke around a lot and she is going to have to train her brain and really tell herself that I do care. She said that I have to understand she is a sensitive person. I said I would try but she has to do the same. I didn't apologize, I just said I felt bad she took it wrong. We banged 3 times.


Everything is fine now, and I wish I had seen your post sooner WIA. Thanks for the detailed post. I have a lot to think about. She's a cool chick, she cooks for me, buys me dinner, never once have I felt like I didn't get enough sex, but I just don't know if I can be the full time beta she wants. She wants attention 100% of my free time and takes everything the worst possible way. I think she has some issues over her ex who cheated on her and left her in the cold. She says he really messed her up so IDK.

All I know is, I have a lot to think about.


Thanks to all who responded, and a big shoul out to XXL. Your advice was on point bro, I will be checking out the books you told me to.

[Parlay44]

Women are never happy. Once you start down that road of kissing her ass like she wants it'll take more and more to keep her happy. A woman's heart is a bottomless pit of self loathing that you can never fulfill. So why even try.

Give her a little attention here and there but don't over do it or she'll get bored. Contrary to what she says.

[WestIndianArchie]

The "beauty" of the situation is you're going to be here again.

[redbeard]

Excellent advice from everyone here especially WIA. Something you might want to also consider is that she is being insecure. When you say things like "of course you do," or say C&F/DHV's, she will perceive your SMV as higher (let's roll with this.) If you began dating and were a 6, and now you are an 8, she will become insecure about the security of the relationship. This is the basis of dread game. The problem with dread game is that some American Women are not proactive when their security is threatened. Instead of thinking "shit, this guy's a keeper, I need to impress him" they think "omg this guy is crazy obviously the patriarchy is messing him up." Active, passive. Think along the lines of how men will grow to be like james bond, but women will be insulted at VS fashion shows.

This could be here way to secure the relationship. She doesn't want you to go.

I think what should be done is that you should help raise her value. Have her go to the gym more. Have her cook for you. Lead her. As MMSL repeats, you are the Captain and she is the First Mate. You must lead her. Yes, your SMV might have increased since reading game, but you need to allow her to raise her level too. Make sense?

[SheWantsTheD]

(02-23-2014 01:40 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

The "beauty" of the situation is you're going to be here again.

Most surely will. Now I won't be so blindsided. Thanks again.

(02-23-2014 01:59 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

Excellent advice from everyone here especially WIA. Something you might want to also consider is that she is being insecure. When you say things like "of course you do," or say C&F/DHV's, she will perceive your SMV as higher (let's roll with this.) If you began dating and were a 6, and now you are an 8, she will become insecure about the security of the relationship. This is the basis of dread game. The problem with dread game is that some American Women are not proactive when their security is threatened. Instead of thinking "shit, this guy's a keeper, I need to impress him" they think "omg this guy is crazy obviously the patriarchy is messing him up." Active, passive. Think along the lines of how men will grow to be like james bond, but women will be insulted at VS fashion shows.

This could be here way to secure the relationship. She doesn't want you to go.

I think what should be done is that you should help raise her value. Have her go to the gym more. Have her cook for you. Lead her. As MMSL repeats, you are the Captain and she is the First Mate. You must lead her. Yes, your SMV might have increased since reading game, but you need to allow her to raise her level too. Make sense?

You think that by raising her SMV things will work better? She already works out, but what will her cooking for me do? Should I give her more positive reinforcement when she's doing good?

[redbeard]

Yeah it's kind of hypothetical but think about it. She's probably just scared you're going to leave. Possibly, she's scared that she's not satisfying you. The fact that she has a higher sex drive than you is interesting. Positive reinforcement doesn't have to be you being beta. Positive reinforcement should be "good girl" followed by a booty smack.

[SheWantsTheD]

(02-23-2014 02:24 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

Yeah it's kind of hypothetical but think about it. She's probably just scared you're going to leave. Possibly, she's scared that she's not satisfying you. The fact that she has a higher sex drive than you is interesting. Positive reinforcement doesn't have to be you being beta. Positive reinforcement should be "good girl" followed by a booty smack.

Hmmm...what do you mean about the sex drive thing?

[UrbanNerd]

I have not said this in a while on this board but from my previous posts, most posters on here KNOW what I will say....

F*ck all that "what is alpha/what is beta"....just make the right moves for the best results.

[Parlay44]

(02-23-2014 03:45 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  

I have not said this in a while on this board but from my previous posts, most posters on here KNOW what I will say....

F*ck all that "what is alpha/what is beta"....just make the right moves for the best results.

Right. Everyone has their own style of game but you have to be the most effective fighter like Bruce Lee says.

[XXL]

(02-23-2014 01:06 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Thanks to all who responded, and a big shoul out to XXL. Your advice was on point bro, I will be checking out the books you told me to.

I'm flattered. My soul is smiling

Good execution of call-after-text thing. Cheers for happy endings!!

[Valhalla]

Posting to read this thread later

[SheWantsTheD]

(02-23-2014 04:07 PM)XXL Wrote:  

(02-23-2014 01:06 PM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Thanks to all who responded, and a big shoul out to XXL. Your advice was on point bro, I will be checking out the books you told me to.

I'm flattered. My soul is smiling

Good execution of call-after-text thing. Cheers for happy endings!!

Haha - well your advice really did help. I appreciated how you told me exactly what you would do in the situation. I think some of the more experienced guys can forget that newbs like me can screw things up easily with the wrong interpretation of things. I know after a while experienced guys can be scratching their head at some of the things the recoving betas do, like the guy at the beginning of the thread who thought I was trolling and possibly female for being wordy. I was just trying to tell everything I could think of so you guys could have a full scope of what was going on.

And the advice about how I should think about how women think with their emotions. That is still blowing my mind. It's so foreign to me and honestly intimidating as hell because I've obviously been in the dark about how that works.

I'm pumped to read those books. I just want to get it over with already and just become a guy who doesn't have to guess at how to respond to situations. Know what I mean?

[XXL]

Dude, forget about this alpha/beta nonsense. Experienced guys know how to deal with different situations like those just because they've been done that with many girls already so they see the patterns. The only difference is experience. So there's nothing really special about it.

Check out this post, it's cocky/funny haha and this website, it's tongue in cheek but on point.

BTW, before you get too excited with this knowledge or carried away with using it. There's nothing really red pill/new about the nature of men & women. It's just that nobody teaches us about ourselves so without any logical understanding we simply assume that since girls are humans just like us [men] so they must be just like us too. And we're wrong. Hence all those endless misunderstandings. The whole big secret is that we differ from each other in the way we see the world and navigate through it for our own reasons.

[AneroidOcean]

(02-22-2014 05:05 AM)XXL Wrote:  

Android said something super important here I forgot mentioning.

Yeah, thanks for breaking that down even further. I definitely recommend the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book, it's just a great simple breakdown of the general differences in the way the sexes think and view the world/operate.

Well before I stumbled upon the red pill I had an older married friend insist I read this book. Even though he'd ALWAYS given me stellar advice I stupidly wrote off the book as "one of those silly trendy books without a lot of real value to it." Thankfully he's a good friend and just bought me the damn thing and put it in my hand. That's really probably the first time I started understanding women on any significant level. Also really had some eye opening moments understanding my own motivation and instincts.

(02-22-2014 08:26 AM)SheWantsTheD Wrote:  

Holy shit fellas, thanks so much. You're all blowing my mind right now with these responses. I really am out of touch with how girls think. I even thought I was starting to understand, but I guess I was way off. I'm goo h to have to sit down and look at these responses closer.

And XXL thanks so much bro for trying to break it down. It's so crazy how different they think than we do. It's so foreign to me. I'd never have thought about it the way you broke it down. I've got a lot to learn still. Which one of those books would you recommend first? I've heard of Women are from Venus before, but it was so main stream I didn't think it could help?

SheWantsTheD - If you read the above book (and others regarding human communication, especially women vs men) keep in mind that while there are huge differences in how men/women generally think/view the world/deal with their problems, there are further large differences just between person A to person B.

Taking it further, what will really open up your world and your possibilities is being able to see people's motivations for how they act and how they view the world. When you can identify what people truly want or what drives their actions AND be able to communicate with them in the best way to appease their needs, you will be able to get more of what you want out of every interaction, be it business, pleasure, etc...

You have to really take your Ego out of it to realize that even if you have a good way of looking at things and good motivation, that there are lots of other good outlooks/reasons for people being the way they are and doing the things they do. Once you can put yourself in their shoes to some extent, you will lose some of judgement of your own Ego and be free to REALLY get what you want out of life and others.

This is something I want to study more. It's amazing to me when someone can break down another party's exact motivations and be able to tell me how they can go about their interactions with those people to get what they want. I wouldn't call this manipulation, I'd call it incredible presence of mind/navigation. It's freeing.

[anonymous123]

Amen WIA - excellent post. There is a lot of insight here and most importantly a lot of wisdom. You have to have lived and learned to write something like this. I've been looking through posts trying to find nuggets like this.

[magellan]

I learned a lot reading this thread. Thanks XXL and WIA.