[UK2014traveller]

The title says it all really.

Had a couple of long term relationships that went wrong, and been taking things easy for the last year or so (one or two one nighters but nothing to write home about.) Lacking a bit in self esteem.

Anyone else who has been in a similar situation, going from being a bit down, to building themselves back up - do you have any advice on ways for self improvement, be it mental, physical or both?

I'm trying to improve the stage before game, rather than diving straight back in and getting disappointed.

Thanks all.

[presidentcarter]

In before someone recommends The Roosh Program (http://www.rooshv.com/the-roosh-program).

[UK2014traveller]

Thanks a lot, I'l have a look at that now.

[UK2014traveller]

Pursuant to your last message, that program is pretty damn awesome.

This guy really knows his stuff.

Thanks for the link.

[Dusty]

This thread may interest you:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-28873.html

[jariel]

I think there needs to be a discussion on temporarily leaving the game, i.e. putting yourself on injured reserve, and coming back when you're actually ready to play.

[UK2014traveller]

Dusty, thanks a lot for that link - I will have a look at that shortly.

And Jariel, if this doesn't already exist, then I really think it could be a great benefit to the forum.

I mean everyone has a "down point" in their life, right? In my situation, coming from a long term relationship, getting back into game I have found can be hard.

I guess the same applies if a family member dies, you have a sudden need to relocate, a sports injury or something else that puts you "out" for a while. All of these apply to most of us.

This idea could be a really positive thread that helps a lot of people who, like me, are new to the site, and I guess also you guys who are old timers.

[unbowed]

I don't know the details of the LTR or your background, but it sounds like you may have subconsciously arrived at "end game"

http://www.rooshv.com/real-end-game

Some say game is life, others say you can't step back on your game in an LTR; then there's the definition that game is getting what you want. Feeling down is ok for now because it's your mind telling you that you need change.

I do think game is life; and right now you're transitioning from LTR game to inner game. This is a great time to rebuild yourself; find what makes you tick, what you want to accomplish, jot it down, set up a system and implement it. Create a personal world you would want to live in. Have this foundation and your inner game will shine outwards. You still have to approach, obviously, but you have the space to be alone right now, use it wisely.

I'm 'out of the game' in a way due to winter. I love it because I can read, develop new skills, create a new workout routine and prepare for the rush of spring. You're not dead, therefore you're still in the game, just in a different area at the moment.

[UK2014traveller]

Unbowed..

Unparalleled response really - that advice is brilliant. Thank you so much for taking the time to send that. It is really appreciated.

I'm sure you are right about the whole "end game". It has actually been about a year now since my LTR, and I do feel the transition happening, but something is stopping me. I think that the lack of self confidence is the main factor. I guess I'm not too bad looking, I do gain a fairly decent amount of eye contact, I think maybe I will work on myself for a while as you advise, and for now just approach when the chance is there. Build up from within. I like that idea.

The philosophy of being "out of game for winter" is great. It means that you are truly in control of yourself, and at the same time you give yourself a break from approaches. I think this is important, and I guess you do too.

Enjoy your vacation my friend, and let your next season be profitable.

(02-18-2014 07:59 PM)unbowed Wrote:  

I don't know the details of the LTR or your background, but it sounds like you may have subconsciously arrived at "end game"

http://www.rooshv.com/real-end-game

Some say game is life, others say you can't step back on your game in an LTR; then there's the definition that game is getting what you want. Feeling down is ok for now because it's your mind telling you that you need change.

I do think game is life; and right now you're transitioning from LTR game to inner game. This is a great time to rebuild yourself; find what makes you tick, what you want to accomplish, jot it down, set up a system and implement it. Create a personal world you would want to live in. Have this foundation and your inner game will shine outwards. You still have to approach, obviously, but you have the space to be alone right now, use it wisely.

I'm 'out of the game' in a way due to winter. I love it because I can read, develop new skills, create a new workout routine and prepare for the rush of spring. You're not dead, therefore you're still in the game, just in a different area at the moment.

[CaP7]

Feeling down? Take a step back. Don't force yourself to jump right back in, you'll just wear yourself out mentally and emotionally. Do some of your favorite things.

FORCE yourself to get consistent in the gym and work out HARD. There's something about giving everything you have physically, that transfers into all other areas of life.

I'm 90% sure that you're not giving it your all physically. Running, lifting, sports, etc. Get back to competing and you'll get through it faster.

Also, think long term. Don't do anything stupid that you'll regret 6 months from now, i.e. gain 20lbs of fat, lease a bmw you can't afford, etc. Those type of things are temporary. Think long term and come out ahead when you recover.

It's ok to be down, it's not ok to dig yourself into a deeper hole that you can't get out of easily later.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

While you are on your "hiatus" from the Game, be sure to read as much as possible. Not just about scooping girls, but about politics, theory & philosophy, different cultures, cooking and other external topics. Anything OUTSIDE of yourself will give you a broader knowledge, add more quivers to your bow, and appeal to a wider audience once you check yourself back into the Game.

It will help your conversational skills, storytelling and make you a quasi-expert on any number of subjects further creating that DHV with certain prospects. Contrary to some beliefs, women do find it attractive when a guy is totally self-absorbed.

[hardman]

Have to agree with the advice to focus on improving your body -- get into the gym regularly, be active 6 days a week. After a month or two of this, you'll be in a very different place mentally (and already seeing results physically).

[Captain Gh]

Since you're from the UK, depending on where you live, doing some Daygame might be a nice option for you! The London guys are famous for Daygame!

[Thomas the Rhymer]

Lift weights. The cure for weakness is strength.