Woman Jokes
Q. What is the useless flesh around the vagina called?
A. A woman.
A. A woman.
Girls should be an ornament to the eye, not an ache in the ear.
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Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Quote: (01-11-2014 04:10 PM)baristabanger Wrote:
Q: How many feminists does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: 0: Feminism doesn't change anything
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Bitch can cook in the dark.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Women...can't live with 'em, can't do most positions without 'em.
I love blondes but anyway -
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding in an elevator. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain!" The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!" The blonde leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."
What does a blonde say when she gets pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine!"
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She doesn't know either
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding in an elevator. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain!" The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!" The blonde leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."
What does a blonde say when she gets pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine!"
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She doesn't know either
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
How many blonde jokes are there?
None. They're all true.
None. They're all true.
You don't get there till you get there
What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?
Morning ladies!
Morning ladies!
"Feminism is a trade union for ugly women"- Peregrine
Hope none of these have been done already:
How do you make a woman blind? --> Put a windshield in front of her.
Why do women get periods? -- > Because they deserve them.
Why is a man's life like a penis? --> Because women make it reeeal hard.
Why do feminists only want to have sex with the lights off? --> They can't stand to see a man having a good time. [Though personally this would be happening from behind anyways]
Why did God create lesbians? -- > So that feminists wouldn't breed...probably why he made them fat as fuck too.
Cheers, more to come later
How do you make a woman blind? --> Put a windshield in front of her.
Why do women get periods? -- > Because they deserve them.
Why is a man's life like a penis? --> Because women make it reeeal hard.
Why do feminists only want to have sex with the lights off? --> They can't stand to see a man having a good time. [Though personally this would be happening from behind anyways]
Why did God create lesbians? -- > So that feminists wouldn't breed...probably why he made them fat as fuck too.
Cheers, more to come later
You don't get there till you get there
What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
- A whore goes around and fucks EVERYBODY, and a bitch goes around and fucks everybody EXCEPT YOU.
Why did God make women?
- What? You think he'd rather wash the dishes himself?
Why are women like condoms?
-They both spend more time in your wallet, than on your dick.
Why did God create yeast infections?
-So that women would know what it feels like to deal with an irritating cunt.
What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
-Umm...40, maybe 50 pounds.
- A whore goes around and fucks EVERYBODY, and a bitch goes around and fucks everybody EXCEPT YOU.
Why did God make women?
- What? You think he'd rather wash the dishes himself?
Why are women like condoms?
-They both spend more time in your wallet, than on your dick.
Why did God create yeast infections?
-So that women would know what it feels like to deal with an irritating cunt.
What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
-Umm...40, maybe 50 pounds.
You don't get there till you get there
![[Image: 1545173_700694179963286_960129803_n.jpg]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1/q71/1545173_700694179963286_960129803_n.jpg)
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
What's the difference between a woman and a magnet?
A magnet has a positive side.
A magnet has a positive side.
"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
![[Image: g9pPuQx.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/g9pPuQx.jpg)
Almost spit my coffee out with the blonde and the pill joke!
'Logic Over Emotion Since 2013'
Q ) How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
A ) She begins her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Q ) How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A ) None. They just sit in the dark and bitch.
Q ) Your dog is barking at the back door, your wife is pounding on the front, which do you let in first.
A ) The dog. It will shut up when you let it in.
A ) She begins her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Q ) How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A ) None. They just sit in the dark and bitch.
Q ) Your dog is barking at the back door, your wife is pounding on the front, which do you let in first.
A ) The dog. It will shut up when you let it in.
What do you call a blond who dyes her hair black?
Artificial intelligence.
Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?/A. Slow down and use some lubricant ////// Q. How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?/A. 1 Post, 2 Globes, and many Times
Q. Why are wedding dresses white?
A. To match the kitchen appliances
A. To match the kitchen appliances
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can’t stand to see a man having a good time.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is the best thing about a blowjob?
Ten minutes of silence.
What did King Kong say to Oprah Winfrey?
“Is it in?”
What do you do when the dishwasher won’t work?
Kick her in the ass.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Definition of irony?
A fat girl that doesn't swallow.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Why was the woman crossing the road?
Who cares? What the fuck’s the bitch doing out of the kitchen?
They can’t stand to see a man having a good time.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What is the best thing about a blowjob?
Ten minutes of silence.
What did King Kong say to Oprah Winfrey?
“Is it in?”
What do you do when the dishwasher won’t work?
Kick her in the ass.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Definition of irony?
A fat girl that doesn't swallow.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Why was the woman crossing the road?
Who cares? What the fuck’s the bitch doing out of the kitchen?
Q: why do feminist always go on blind dates?
A: Who the fuck would go out with them if they could see?
A: Who the fuck would go out with them if they could see?
Take care of those titties for me.
How do you get a 3 star wanted level in real life?
Be a female driving a car in Saudi Arabia
Be a female driving a car in Saudi Arabia
Q: Whats the difference a refrigerator and a woman?
A: the fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out
A: the fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out
I need feminism
because I like it when she takes out the garbage
because I like it when she takes out the garbage
The ultimate woman joke = feminism. Strong and independent until she needs to change a tyre
![[Image: v3%2525257Camused%2525257C_img%2525257Cw...n-want.jpg]](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-kPeZo3XOT2g/ULxNZNQDIiI/AAAAAAAASVc/JxpRFGjSdjY/I/v3%2525257Camused%2525257C_img%2525257Cwhat-women-want.jpg)
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