Having standards as a man? How dare you!
01-09-2014, 05:18 PM
Have you guys ever wondered why so many male celebrities go out of their way to voice their alignment with "feminism"? Did you ever wonder why so many seem anxious to white knight on a regular basis and/or engage in otherwise highly blue pill behavior that we would not normally associate with a high value male?
You can now see why. Nash Grier has shown us what happens to high value men with large female fanbases who dare to express anything but the most inclusive ideology and standards. Men like John Legend and Joseph Gordon Leavitt (two celebrities who have recently voiced their affinity for "feminism" - there are hundreds of other examples) are well aware of this and, if they aren't, their marketing/PR teams will coach them accordingly.
The fact is that their fanbases are predominantly female. Women are doing most of the subscribing/following of their social media accounts, buying most of the products they advertise, buying most of the tickets to their shows/movies, and generally providing the most vocal support that drives their celebrity. Modern celebrity culture is highly feminized by necessity - it is built to cater to those who fuel it most: women.
These female fanbases consist of young (usually anywhere from 12-25) women who are, more often than not, quite insecure. Their fandom is often based heavily on the maintenance of a mental "relationship" with the celebrity: they may never date him, but they like to maintain the fantasy that they could someday and often place themselves in that position in their own hearts and minds. The maintenance of that relationship is the key to his celebrity: it is what keeps these girls going to his premiers, buying tickets to his shows, subscribing to every one of his social media accounts and snapping up every song he makes on itunes. This imaginary relationship is extremely important to these girls on a personal level, and they are extremely insecure about any notion that could take it away from them.
When he sings a love/romantic song, they imagine that he is singing to them personally.
When he gives a coy prettyboy wink/smile in a video, picture or a movie, they imagine that he is communicating directly with them personally.
When he talks about his hobbies/activities, they imagine how said activities make him a perfect fit for them pesonally.
And, finally, when he talks about his wants/desires, they imagine that he is speaking personally to them.
This last bit is key because of her insecurity: she has built up this fantasy and the last thing she wants is to have it contradicted in any way, especially by the male in question. When he says there is something that he doesn't like in a girl, she will imagine that he is speaking directly to her. If she perceives herself to be lacking some trait he explicitly desires, she'll get very upset.
Ex: Celebrity male says he likes girls who shave.
Her reaction: "Wait, I haven't shaven in a couple of weeks. I mean, I sometimes shave, but not, like, all the time. OMG - does this mean he wouldn't like me? OMG!"
He's ruined her fantasy. Her insecurity will have her fretting about this endlessly.
Now, you may ask the following:
"Why does she care so much about not meeting one standard of a guy she'll probably never meet? Why does it matter to her? Further, even if it does matter, why couldn't she just change a little to meet that standard? Is shaving that hard? How is that a high standard?"
The answer to all of the above is simple: insecurity.
She's too insecure about herself on a personal and physical level to handle any level of criticism. She copes with this insecurity by maintaining this fantasy relationship with the celebrity, a relationship in which she has all she could ever want with a guy who is all she could ever want and doesn't really have to do anything to maintain it. When that fantasy is crushed for whatever reason, it exposes her to her insecurities again.
Because of this insecurity, she NEEDS that fantasy relationship. She NEEDS him to like her or, at the very least, potentially like her in her fantasy mind. Anything that would lead her to even remotely question the possibility of him liking her is a no-no, because her insecurities will run wild and leave her upset, angry and even depressed. This is true even though her logical brain understands that she'll probably never actually meet or date this famous male in real life.
When Nash Grier noted that he wasn't a big fan of girls who didn't shave, all of the girls who don't shave (or hadn't shaven at some point in the past, or feared that they may go an extended period of time without shaving in the future) had their insecurities directly engaged. They now wondered if he'd like them, and began to doubt to some degree that he did.
When Grier noted that he liked girls with freckles, he activated the insecurities of all the girls who lack them. The fact that he didn't say he disliked girls without freckles is not relevant: the mere possibility of his preferring girls who have them is enough to get all of his female followers who lack them concerned and upset about the possibility that he might not like them.
You'll notice that many of the critical comments directed at Grier seem to imply that he was ordering them around. Statements like this:
"I can have as much hair on my body as I feel comfortable with!"
"I prefer guys who don't tell me what to do!"
"How about you don't order girls to look a certain way?!"
"Girls don't have to obey you!"
Anybody who watched the video can tell that Nash Grier was guilty of none of the above. He was merely stating his preferences, not claiming that all women were obligated to meet them.
But remember what I said earlier: these women love him and are, in many cases, in a fantasy relationship with him. They NEED him to like them and they take what he says and does personally.
It is this need that awakens their power as consumers: when his face shows up next to a product he's advertising and endorsing, they feel the need to buy it. When he creates a video or social media account, they feel obligated to watch/follow it and listen to what he says. When he releases a song, they're obligated to download it or go to his concert and listen to it.
Similarly, when he critiques them or sets some sort personal preference/standard, they feel obligated to meet it, even though they should not logically be compelled to do so.
Thus, you can see how this insecure need female fans have in their desire to bond with such high value celebrity males that creates these males' celebrity power in the first place (makes them valuable for endorsements, gets them followers, sells their songs, etc) and can also limit what they can say/do publicly. A large part of his job as a celebrity is to sell a dream and a fantasy to millions of young women out there. He has to walk on eggshells in order to keep that fantasy intact and keep the money rolling in.
This is why celebrity males so often cannot voice legitimate standards of even the most basic variety. The risk of a majority of their fanbase taking it personally is simply too great because so many girls are insecure about so many things.
Thus, when these guys get the chance or are prompted to talk of standards, they keep it real simple:
"I like strong, independent women." - This is a great go-to. All of his female fans, regardless of what they look like or where they're from, can convince themselves that they are strong and independent. He can't offend anyone.
"Just be yourself." - Even safer. He is basically saying to every female out there that she's perfect for him the way she is.
"I love women who are beautiful on the inside." Another great go-to. Any female can convince herself that she fits this bill even if she's actually a bitch to most of the people she comes into contact with. Low risk of offending anyone.
What isn't okay for him to say?
"I like athletic girls" - This will build fans among the girls who've played sports or enjoy them, but it will awaken the insecurities of the many who were never particularly inclined to athletics and who hated gym class (or who are out of shape).
"I love freckles" - Any girl who doesn't have freckles will begin to wonder if you like her.
"I love big tits" - Even girls with sizable breasts are often insecure about their bust size and convinced that they're too small. Thus, such a comment would have a high risk of offending just about all of his female fanbase.
"I love fit girls" - Obviously a high risk of offending the fat/chubby chicks, but also a high risk of offending the fit chicks who THINK they're fat.
All in all, this episode is illustrative of why being (or pretending to be) a white knight is good business for many famous, high value men. They probably don't believe all that they say (few rational, sane men would), but they know what makes them money and what doesn't.
Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.