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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-09-2014, 02:28 AM
Often for knowing something, anything, people think I come off as a know it all.
Just discussing a topic that I know something about and another person doesnt seems to strike at their insecurities. "Oh so you think you know everything, huh? You think I'm an idiot because I haven't read the same thngs you have, huh? Well fuck you you smug asshole."
I dont mean to come off as a smug asshole, yet it seems like I cant fucking mention amything besides sports or whatever issue has been on buzzfeed without people getting all Jante Law on me.
How can I talk about interesting topics and have people react positively? Fucking America...
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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-09-2014, 03:28 AM
Exactly what Tail Gunner said. I've dealt with this before. It sounds like you are around some very insecure, unimaginative and low IQ people. Cut 'em out of your life, if possible.
“When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat.”
- George Carlin
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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-09-2014, 04:06 PM
I used to get really excited when I learned something cool and I would talk about it with people, but then I realized most people don´t care about anything.
Now I just shut up. I have a selected group of friends with whom I talk about everything, but I don´t share my knowledge with normal people. Even when I know they are wrong, I just shut up. They don´t like to be stupid, so instead of hating themselves they are going to hate the people who makes them feel stupid. Don´t be that guy.
But the reaction you said is a bit extreme, you definitely should change your social circle. Those guys are just stupid losers.
That´s why when you find someone above average who shares your interest for knowledge and curiosity you have to keep that person in your circle like a treasure. It´s rare.
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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-09-2014, 07:19 PM
Often, it's in how you say things.
When you're chiming in on a topic, do it in a socially considerate way. Use "softener" phrases as prefixes, such as...
"As far as I know,..."
"As far as I understand..."
"My understanding of the issue is..."
"From what I can tell..."
"From what I've read, it seems..."
"My intuition on this is that..."
"I'm no expert,but the way it seems to me..."
(if someone mentions their opinion of a piece of work/article by X-person they disagree with)
"Well, in response, X-person might counter that by saying..."
Then you let the actual point you're making do the convincing.
etc.
In debate, you can also ask Socratic questions to challenge people's thinking, instead of directly attacking what they say, which can cause defensiveness.
"So what are the implications of that?"
"What do you base that on?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Could you explain further?"
"But if X happened, what would the consequences be for Y?"
"Why do you ask that question?"
etc.
The general idea is to interact more as someone who wants to get to the truth co-operatively and maintain mutual respect, than someone who needs to be right and feel superior.
I have a friend who was great at this. One of the sharpest and most well-read guys I know, and would always speak in this way in discussion. He'd gently debate and discuss in this way without making people feel stupid.
Often it would become clear he both knew much more about the subject and had thought about it more deeply, but he never made people feel bad. Very commendable.
----
edit: Sorry, I was a little hasty. After reading your post properly, it sounds like the issue is that people don't want to talk about the kinds of topics that interest you. Here, you have two options: find common topics you're both interested in, and/or find other people to connect with over the stuff that does really interest you.
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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-09-2014, 08:43 PM
Quote: (01-09-2014 04:06 PM)Odiseus Wrote:
Now I just shut up.
Smart move. You may want to raise your awareness of power distance issues, but shutting up is probably your best move. Like Sonsowey said, Be a salesman about it, not a professor.
lowbudgetballer
Too much drama for a hit it and quit it brutha such as myself
Gotts Money - Law & Order SVU: Wildlife
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Not coming off like a know it all, or as an ignoramus
01-10-2014, 09:44 AM
For the general public, don't even attempt to go into interesting and thought-provoking topics. The general public is usually too polite (or, too ignorant) to deal with such things.
As you go through life, you'll acquire a core group of friends who share your intellectually curiosity. In the meantime and to the rest of the world, just talk about sports and celebrity gossip bullshit. Every now and again, drop a sophisticated idea or word to test the audience with whom you're having a conversation. If anyone is smart and intellectually curious like you, they will respond positively and happily. If there is no positive response, you're dealing with sheeple so you can go back to sports and celebrity gossip.
