[draguer]

Going out tonight I was expecting to see a girl I had been with on Saturday, who I genuinely wanted to see again. She didn't come and I struggled to find the motivation to do new approaches and my vibe was completely off.

I'm wondering if you guys have any advice to avoid that sort of problem and get yourself back in the right frame of mind.

[PompeyChris]

I wouldn't call this oneitis unless you've been seeing her for a while.

But it's just a case of building the mind set of "their loss".

Having a back up booty call may also help.

[Smooth Operator]

(01-06-2014 02:14 PM)draguer Wrote:  

Going out tonight I was expecting to see a girl I had been with on Saturday, who I genuinely wanted to see again. She didn't come and I struggled to find the motivation to do new approaches and my vibe was completely off.

I'm wondering if you guys have any advice to avoid that sort of problem and get yourself back in the right frame of mind.

Drageur, it's very normal to get oneitis when you're starting out.

The problem is you, not her. Chemicals in your brain are telling you that she's your perfect genetic match, and as a result you get crazy over her and think "she's the one" etc. Know that there are thousands of girl at least as cool and hot as her.

You can avoid oneitis by always fucking multiple good looking girls, by never focusing on one woman, and never falling in the supplicant role.

So go out, improve your game, fuck other hot women and after some time you will look back and see that that girl was not that special as you think she now is.

[draguer]

Thanks guys.

Normally I have a better "fuck it" sort of mentality but am overseas at the moment and heading home in a few days. She was Russian and of a quality I very rarely see at home.

Still, onwards and upwards.

[Smooth Operator]

(01-06-2014 08:05 PM)draguer Wrote:  

Thanks guys.

Normally I have a better "fuck it" sort of mentality but am overseas at the moment and heading home in a few days. She was Russian and of a quality I very rarely see at home.

Still, onwards and upwards.

Upwards, indeed! It's just a matter of getting used to quality women…that way you'll pedestalize them less, which in turn will increase your results.

[G Trooper]

Go out every night the rest of your time in Russia. Do 10 approaches per night. Make it happen brother.

[draguer]

I'm in vietnam brother, this place is packed with Russian girls though. I've never been to Russia but being in this environment has definitely put the idea in my mind.

I'm only 22, she was 28 so there's plenty more to come if I work at it.

[WanderingSoul]

Where in Vietnam? You live there?

[draguer]

Currently mui ne, have been in most of the main spots south of hoi an.

I came out for nye/Xmas for three weeks from New Zealand.

[draguer]

I'll add I got the bang on Saturday. I wasn't getting hung up about a girl I just talked to at the bar

[Closer68]

Every rule is meant to be broken.

Oneitis is definitely something to be avoided when running game, getting notches, etc.

However, eventually you should settle down with someone and you should feel that she's special. No shame in this.

[AneroidOcean]

(01-07-2014 09:11 AM)draguer Wrote:  

I'll add I got the bang on Saturday. I wasn't getting hung up about a girl I just talked to at the bar

Think about this EVERY single time you ever have an inkling of one-it-is come up in the future.

Others who maybe don't have so much experience, think about fishing. Don't you think it would be stupid of a new fisherman just getting started to be sad that he couldn't get the fish he wanted and only caught and released one small one (even if he has some flashy bait and spent some good money getting out on a chartered boat)? There are tons of fish in the sea, and there are many trophy catches. New ones being grown every day. For years!

Think with your logical brain, not the emotional. Emotions are great, but not when they drive you to bad choices.

[robreke]

Recently broke up with girl I liked. Suffering from oneitis kind of post break up.

Question - will banging girls of lower quality make me feel better or worse? Should I do it to help my mental health at this point or avoid? I'm starting to burn with lust again.

[Dalaran1991]

Getting a new bang, even of lower quality, is the best way to get over a hang up Ive found. When I had oneitis, I just force myself to go out and hit on more girl. The embrace of a new girl usually fix thing. Try to develop a little bit of feeling for her, yes you heard that right. It will neutralize the feeling of oneitis and in the end you clear your mind of both girls.

As long as the girl gives you a boner, it can never be worse, and at worse the sexual release always help.

What it does for your mental state is reinforcing the idea that you can still get girls after her, and that in the end all girls are the same. It helps.

Good luck!

[polymath]

It's her loss.

Also, it is important to convince yourself that it's over and you need to walk away. Otherwise you run the risk of damaging your self-respect, your image, and your ability to do more important things in your life.