[gustavofring]

Background on me: I am 18 and from a city just outside London. Had moderate success with females in high school but no success what so ever in clubs/bars, just mere make-outs. My friend introduced me to this forum and red pill ideas about 4 months ago, ended up reading bang etc etc, and started trying to really apply it from november.

I know approach anxiety is one of the most common dilemmas for guys starting out game, and getting over it is obviously the genesis point to becoming a true player. But it seems as though no matter what I do, i just cant get over it, or atleast there have been no signs that im getting closer to getting over it.

I started going out with my friend and he literally made me approach girls every time, and obviously after actually approaching I realized it just isn't anywhere near as bad as i was making it out to be in my head. But my problem is I feel ive made no progress what so ever (i went out last night, didnt even make one approach). It hasnt gotten better with time, in fact a rejection can ruin my night and make me even less willing to approach, and i know im being a massive pussy and thats why its even more frustrating.

When my friends not there, i cant approach for shit. nothing has changed even with approaches under my belt. Did any of you guys experience anything similiar when you were starting out? Is the only option to just reluctantly keep going and hope the anxiety eventually wears off?

[Daddy]

Well you were a certain way for 18 years of your life, don't expect to change in just 4 months. It takes a lot of work and patience. Keep working at it and you will get good at it, like in everything in life.

[eradicator]

I would suggest talking more to random strangers and just get more confidence at speaking to people you don't know.

Any time you see someone(not just attractive women), try saying 'hello' and see where the conversation goes.

[Captain Gh]

The anxiety will never completely go away ever. EVER. Eventually, it's the way that you'll be able to manage that anxiety and just go without stressing about it. It takes time so just keep on going. You've already had success since you've kissed some girl already. Just don't jump ahead and compare yourself with guys you've been doing it for a longtime. Each person is different.

[germanico]

Set yourself a goal, say, 5 approaches every time you go out.

No matter what happens, no matter if they reject you, you set your mind on the next approach. Get in, get blown out, get it done, get over with it.

The problem is not that your game is not tight, the problem is not how you are doing it, the problem is why. You are setting yourself very high expectations, thats why you feel depressed and defeated when one, unknown to you and irrelevant in your life, woman rejects you.

Just do the next approach. Doing tons of approaches is not magically going to turn you into a closing machine, but it will help you overcome your anxiety, show you that one, ten, a thousand rejections mean nothing. You then will lose that anxiety, and thats what will turn you into a closing machine.

And dont fool yourself into believing there is a way of shortcutting or tricking yourself out of that anxiety, you have to make those approaches, so get them done, as many as needed.

[Giovonny]

(01-05-2014 11:21 AM)gustavofring Wrote:  

Is the only option to just reluctantly keep going and hope the anxiety eventually wears off?

No.

There are many other options.

I recommend aggressively talking to all the cute girls you can and even talking to as many strangers as you can.

You don't have to "hope", you can force the anxiety to out of your mind through aggressive physical action. (And, by doing some psychological exercises)

I think somewhere between 500-1000 approaches is when the anxiety really starts to melt away.

(01-05-2014 02:33 PM)Captain Gh Wrote:  

The anxiety will never completely go away ever. EVER.

I will disagree.

My anxiety completely went away after a few years and a few thousand approaches.