[BallsDeep]

(10-05-2015 03:44 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

Basically, since Judges run campaigns, which are paid for by divorce lawyers, a lot of the time, hiring the right lawyer essentially seals the deal in a divorce case (because his law firm contributed the most to his campaign, and will continue to contribute when the judge runs for re-election.)

Question for Merenguero:

You hear people say I won because my lawyer goes golfing with the judge, or donates to that judge etc.

But in any court case, you've hired your lawyer long before you know who the judge is. Even if you know who the judge is during pretrial hearings, it's often a different one who presides over trial.

So how legitimate is this?

[Merenguero]

(10-09-2015 08:17 AM)BallsDeep Wrote:  

(10-05-2015 03:44 AM)whateverfuckit Wrote:  

Basically, since Judges run campaigns, which are paid for by divorce lawyers, a lot of the time, hiring the right lawyer essentially seals the deal in a divorce case (because his law firm contributed the most to his campaign, and will continue to contribute when the judge runs for re-election.)

Question for Merenguero:

You hear people say I won because my lawyer goes golfing with the judge, or donates to that judge etc.

But in any court case, you've hired your lawyer long before you know who the judge is. Even if you know who the judge is during pretrial hearings, it's often a different one who presides over trial.

So how legitimate is this?

Good question. In more rural areas, there may only be one judge per county, so in those places everyone is well aware of who the judge will be even before anything is filed in court. In urban/metropolitan areas, there are many judges and often you have no idea who the judge will be until the last minute. Sometimes, you sit around waiting on the trial date to be assigned a judge. I've spent hours doing that in the past.

Edit: I can see that multiple people weren't too happy with some of the comments I made earlier in the thread and I considered making a post in order to clarify things. I think it's better for me to just leave it alone. If you read what I have posted in this thread and learn from it, that's great and that's what we are here for. If you read my posts on this subject and become angry reading them, then I really can't help you and I wish you the best of luck.

[CleanSlate]

I'm going to watch it this weekend on Netflix. Very curious as to what they portray and compare it with my own experience.

[El Chinito loco]

I watched this yesterday and what struck me is how cynical everyone involved is.

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

America in many ways has created this frankenstein monster of legalese which is all about profiting off of fucking each other.

The government with its rat mouth takes a nibble every time that cheese passes in front too. Although it's content to share the spoils with a whole domestic industry sprouted around human misery and exploitation of divorce.

It's a severely fucked system that extorts money from the middle class (as usual) and creates greater economic and social threats than it helps solve.

[RockHard]

(10-09-2015 11:35 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

ECL - yeah, the private investigator dude really got under my skin, the whole "I'm a baller... I'm just making money so I can put gas in my Rolls Royce". There really needs to be reform around this. Looks like the divorce corp people are trying to start that at least.

I watched the first 20 minutes this weekend and from my experience it's accurate. I will say that in my home state, it's a little bit better because judges and attorneys are both rated based on how quickly they expedite the case, so they did take away the motivation to drag things out for years.

The whole childcare evaluation business deserves a thread of its own. Now there's a fucked up system, and that's really where things get bitter. Nobody wants to give up the rights to their kids, and everybody knows this. The part about family courts not following constitutional law is so true. The whole concept of habeus corpus is out the window - you can make any accusation you want and it's part of the case, no need to produce evidence. It's also absolutely a system where the person who can afford it is the one who gets the best justice, even more than the criminal system.

[lex the impaler]

This is super sad. Basically don't get married or knock a lizard up in the west. Definitely worth a watch.

[Easy_C]

Watched this one during a bus trip recently.


Something I noticed... the entire problem with the family court system is the exact some reason that so many other court systems have devolved into a joke in the US:


Judges have unchecked, unchallenged, unaccountable authority within their courtrooms. At MOST the jury can reject their position and even that isn't a strong check because the judge gets to help decide who gets onto the jury and what the jury is allowed to see. If there were ANY checks and balances on judicial power these corrupt judges would be out on their ass before the gavel the gavel hit the floor.

[Merenguero]

(11-07-2015 12:12 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  

Judges have unchecked, unchallenged, unaccountable authority within their courtrooms. At MOST the jury can reject their position and even that isn't a strong check because the judge gets to help decide who gets onto the jury and what the jury is allowed to see. If there were ANY checks and balances on judicial power these corrupt judges would be out on their ass before the gavel the gavel hit the floor.

Juries have absolutely nothing to do with family law cases where I am. If a judge does something crazy and/or unfair with regard to a custody decision, there is often little you can do, as it can be very difficult to get the decision overturned as long as the judge applied the correct law. As for other things such as alimony or equitable distribution of marital property, you often have remedies, such as an In Banc review, where multiple judges of the same level of court can review a decision and change it and/or remand it for further proceedings. Appellate rights also exist where a higher court can review the judge's decision to see if there was an abuse of discretion on the trial judge's part. Appeals are usually much more involved and drawn out than In Banc reviews. It all depends on the facts of a particular case as to whether an appealor an In Banc review would be a better choice.

[Vaun]

(10-09-2015 11:35 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

I watched this yesterday and what struck me is how cynical everyone involved is.

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

Yup, even among the afflicted, its very hard to find information to sort through whats real and what not. Thats why its important that any guy going through this educate themselves first by reading lots of books, exploring as much information that exists out there about divorce, knowing your states laws, and of course the minimum of having self control through the process. Thats before you even hire an attorney. Unlike a leaky faucet, you cant just hire someone to fix all of your problems, or trust that the free forms they hand out in the court room will give you the right information or knowledge to have a successful outcome. Its a business, and like a business, no one is there for your best interests out of charity.

The only other thing is making sure it never happens to you again. A vasectomy, never getting married again and learning some game is the easiest way to start. I can never figure out these guys who get remarried, especially when they have children from the past and go on to create more children. Is it really that hard to get laid?? You are guaranteeing that you are going to die broke and miserable. Look at Robin Williams. Look at my dad. And your kids who will become the second or third priority in your life, while your too busy rushing around town going to Target and fulfilling your girlfriends Disney marriage fantasy. You have to have a girlfriend? Fine, get the V and dont move in together. Its so pathetic, I think most of these guys just need a mommy to pick up after them.

[Akula]

(11-07-2015 10:23 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(10-09-2015 11:35 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

I watched this yesterday and what struck me is how cynical everyone involved is.

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

Yup, even among the afflicted, its very hard to find information to sort through whats real and what not. Thats why its important that any guy going through this educate themselves first by reading lots of books, exploring as much information that exists out there about divorce, knowing your states laws, and of course the minimum of having self control through the process. Thats before you even hire an attorney. Unlike a leaky faucet, you cant just hire someone to fix all of your problems, or trust that the free forms they hand out in the court room will give you the right information or knowledge to have a successful outcome. Its a business, and like a business, no one is there for your best interests out of charity.

The only other thing is making sure it never happens to you again. A vasectomy, never getting married again and learning some game is the easiest way to start. I can never figure out these guys who get remarried, especially when they have children from the past and go on to create more children. Is it really that hard to get laid?? You are guaranteeing that you are going to die broke and miserable. Look at Robin Williams. Look at my dad. And your kids who will become the second or third priority in your life, while your too busy rushing around town going to Target and fulfilling your girlfriends Disney marriage fantasy. You have to have a girlfriend? Fine, get the V and dont move in together. Its so pathetic, I think most of these guys just need a mommy to pick up after them.

I never got it either, and used to chalk it up to the prior generations of men expecting a woman to always be around and that just being how it is. Most older men still harbor deep (unearned) respect for women in general and tend to think that they will always "do the right thing" because "she's a good woman" for the most part, even though today that's certainly not the case.

But guys these days? I guess it all comes down to the last part of your post I bolded re being momma's boys, plus the fact that men are so lost today for the most part due to all the mixed messages they get and the generally abysmal quality of Western women. But any idiot who knows anything about divorce laws should have serious reservations about tying the knot.

I still can't understand why famous simps do it.

[Merenguero]

(11-07-2015 10:23 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(10-09-2015 11:35 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

I watched this yesterday and what struck me is how cynical everyone involved is.

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

Yup, even among the afflicted, its very hard to find information to sort through whats real and what not. Thats why its important that any guy going through this educate themselves first by reading lots of books, exploring as much information that exists out there about divorce, knowing your states laws, and of course the minimum of having self control through the process. Thats before you even hire an attorney. Unlike a leaky faucet, you cant just hire someone to fix all of your problems, or trust that the free forms they hand out in the court room will give you the right information or knowledge to have a successful outcome. Its a business, and like a business, no one is there for your best interests out of charity.

The only other thing is making sure it never happens to you again. A vasectomy, never getting married again and learning some game is the easiest way to start. I can never figure out these guys who get remarried, especially when they have children from the past and go on to create more children. Is it really that hard to get laid?? You are guaranteeing that you are going to die broke and miserable. Look at Robin Williams. Look at my dad. And your kids who will become the second or third priority in your life, while your too busy rushing around town going to Target and fulfilling your girlfriends Disney marriage fantasy. You have to have a girlfriend? Fine, get the V and dont move in together. Its so pathetic, I think most of these guys just need a mommy to pick up after them.

From over a decade of practicing family law, this is what I've seen. You have a lot of guys who basically need a woman to take care of things, such as filling out forms, paying bills, etc. These are usually guys who have very little education or intelligence, actually usually very good people. I'm not sure how many guys on here are even in touch with these types, but I deal with them day in and day out. Another category, and this isn't something that I can begin to understand, is guys who need to project a public image of that of a married guy. Guys like that can have successful marriages, but can also have multiple divorces. As far as I've seen, guys in this category don't eventually decide that marriage isn't for them and become players. I typically don't get along with guys in this category for some reason. Maybe because I couldn't care less if people think I should be married or what they think of me.

[Disco_Volante]

former Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante gets divorce raped:

http://www.tmz.com/2015/10/19/john-frusc...l-support/

has to pay her fucking $53,000 PER MONTH.

4 years of marriage no kids, judge doesn't give a fuck. bitch still gets over half a mill per year.

he's a musical genius but hes big earning days are behind him, this talentless bitch is going to slowly drain his wealth.

maybe he was too much of a hipster to be wise to the ways of women. apparently he was also paying for her attempt a music career. some men have to learn the hard way.

[Merenguero]

(11-09-2015 01:17 AM)Disco_Volante Wrote:  

former Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante gets divorce raped:

http://www.tmz.com/2015/10/19/john-frusc...l-support/

has to pay her fucking $53,000 PER MONTH.

4 years of marriage no kids, judge doesn't give a fuck.

he's a musical genius but hes big earning days are behind him, this talentless bitch is going to slowly drain his wealth.

maybe he was too much of a hipster to be wise to the ways of women.

I heard that guy is basically not a functional person, like that he needs a wife or some kind of caretaker around. If that's the case, it will likely happen again. His father is or was a judge in Broward County. If he didn't have proper legal representation, it's his own fault.

Edit:
His father retired from the bench five years ago, but my point is still the same.

[SlickyBoy]

Just watched this (still available online, here).

Basically I thought it was pretty good; even better after the fact when I learned there was a feminazi boycott group against it - always a good sign. As I'm also a lawyer, I found a few mild criticisms.

I was hoping there would be some discussion about prenuptual agreements - examples of those who tried to use them and failed could have been enlightening, or perhaps an example of one which worked. Alas, small oversight as most people don't even think to try these and if they aren't done right and at the right time, they can get tossed out in court.

The example of the guy going to jail over his blog post - sure, he's got a First Amendment right, but if he's representing himself in court, he's under the same rules as opposing counsel and the Judge can order him to knock it off - they won't allow the case to be tried in the media.

The constant moaning about a constitutional right to a jury is irrelevant - you don't get one in small claims court either; that doesn't mean it isn't going to be fair or that the judge hates you. I'm not so sure having a jury box of six to twelve idiots would necessarily be of assistance to the average guy in divorce court anyway.

I always felt there was more to the story in many of the examples - especially about the guy who got sent to prison for five years supposedly over something he wrote on the Internet.

Though they did a good job of discussing the flaws in the system, they created the unrealistic impression that they happen equally to men and women, when we all know that's hardly the case (funny, the feminists still hated the film).

It is encouraging that the "lifestyle maintenance" aspect of alimony may be getting some review, but it will take time before it's widespread - and of course, it's only happening because more women are finally learning what it feels like to get a divorce shiv in their bank accounts.

There was the annoying reference to "Scandinavia" as if it were one country, as well as the likely oversimplification of their divorce laws. Also don't forget the hell on earth that's becoming Sweden nowadays thanks to liberal social programs coupled with unfettered third world immigration. And I couldn't stand seeing all of the douchebag stay at home dad types they showed in the Swedish footage as if that's some kind of noble ideal.

Overall though I am still pleased to see a movie like this get made and think it's required viewing for a young Alglosphere man nowadays. 7/10 rating.

[doc holliday]

(09-29-2016 07:03 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

Just watched this (still available online, here).

Basically I thought it was pretty good; even better after the fact when I learned there was a feminazi boycott group against it - always a good sign. As I'm also a lawyer, I found a few mild criticisms.

I was hoping there would be some discussion about prenuptual agreements - examples of those who tried to use them and failed could have been enlightening, or perhaps an example of one which worked. Alas, small oversight as most people don't even think to try these and if they aren't done right and at the right time, they can get tossed out in court.

The example of the guy going to jail over his blog post - sure, he's got a First Amendment right, but if he's representing himself in court, he's under the same rules as opposing counsel and the Judge can order him to knock it off - they won't allow the case to be tried in the media.

The constant moaning about a constitutional right to a jury is irrelevant - you don't get one in small claims court either; that doesn't mean it isn't going to be fair or that the judge hates you. I'm not so sure having a jury box of six to twelve idiots would necessarily be of assistance to the average guy in divorce court anyway.

I always felt there was more to the story in many of the examples - especially about the guy who got sent to prison for five years supposedly over something he wrote on the Internet.

Though they did a good job of discussing the flaws in the system, they created the unrealistic impression that they happen equally to men and women, when we all know that's hardly the case (funny, the feminists still hated the film).

It is encouraging that the "lifestyle maintenance" aspect of alimony may be getting some review, but it will take time before it's widespread - and of course, it's only happening because more women are finally learning what it feels like to get a divorce shiv in their bank accounts.

There was the annoying reference to "Scandinavia" as if it were one country, as well as the likely oversimplification of their divorce laws. Also don't forget the hell on earth that's becoming Sweden nowadays thanks to liberal social programs coupled with unfettered third world immigration. And I couldn't stand seeing all of the douchebag stay at home dad types they showed in the Swedish footage as if that's some kind of noble ideal.

Overall though I am still pleased to see a movie like this get made and think it's required viewing for a young Alglosphere man nowadays. 7/10 rating.

I was out to dinner with my divorce lawyer who i became friends with during my divorce (good guy, got me a good deal, I was happy) and I asked him about the whole prenup thing and he said that as long as you do it long before the marriage (6 months or so) and as long as she has a lawyer representing her, they don't generally get thrown out. He said he won't even do them unless the other party has legal representation. He also said you can get her to waive future alimony in the prenup and it will hold up in court.

[Dantes]

(11-07-2015 10:23 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(10-09-2015 11:35 AM)El Chinito loco Wrote:  

I watched this yesterday and what struck me is how cynical everyone involved is.

The profiteers, the rights advocates, the judges, and the victims. It's all just deeply cynical and broken people.

There's no community or sense of shared cultural value. It's just people ratfucking each other mercilously for another nibble at the cheese.

Yup, even among the afflicted, its very hard to find information to sort through whats real and what not. Thats why its important that any guy going through this educate themselves first by reading lots of books, exploring as much information that exists out there about divorce, knowing your states laws, and of course the minimum of having self control through the process. Thats before you even hire an attorney. Unlike a leaky faucet, you cant just hire someone to fix all of your problems, or trust that the free forms they hand out in the court room will give you the right information or knowledge to have a successful outcome. Its a business, and like a business, no one is there for your best interests out of charity.

The only other thing is making sure it never happens to you again. A vasectomy, never getting married again and learning some game is the easiest way to start. I can never figure out these guys who get remarried, especially when they have children from the past and go on to create more children. Is it really that hard to get laid?? You are guaranteeing that you are going to die broke and miserable. Look at Robin Williams. Look at my dad. And your kids who will become the second or third priority in your life, while your too busy rushing around town going to Target and fulfilling your girlfriends Disney marriage fantasy. You have to have a girlfriend? Fine, get the V and dont move in together. Its so pathetic, I think most of these guys just need a mommy to pick up after them.

It is hard to understand why men make the same mistakes over and over again. What I have come to learn is, people are creatures of habit. Most don't change all that much fundamentally. They seek comfort through familiar experiences. Relationship/ marriage type people tend to repeat the process because that is what they know. Comfort and familiar experiences are more important to them than going through life without the perceived emotional security of a woman, despite the negative potential consequences.

[Caractacus Potts]

(09-29-2016 08:50 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  

(09-29-2016 07:03 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

Just watched this (still available online, here).

Basically I thought it was pretty good; even better after the fact when I learned there was a feminazi boycott group against it - always a good sign. As I'm also a lawyer, I found a few mild criticisms.

I was hoping there would be some discussion about prenuptual agreements - examples of those who tried to use them and failed could have been enlightening, or perhaps an example of one which worked. Alas, small oversight as most people don't even think to try these and if they aren't done right and at the right time, they can get tossed out in court.

The example of the guy going to jail over his blog post - sure, he's got a First Amendment right, but if he's representing himself in court, he's under the same rules as opposing counsel and the Judge can order him to knock it off - they won't allow the case to be tried in the media.

The constant moaning about a constitutional right to a jury is irrelevant - you don't get one in small claims court either; that doesn't mean it isn't going to be fair or that the judge hates you. I'm not so sure having a jury box of six to twelve idiots would necessarily be of assistance to the average guy in divorce court anyway.

I always felt there was more to the story in many of the examples - especially about the guy who got sent to prison for five years supposedly over something he wrote on the Internet.

Though they did a good job of discussing the flaws in the system, they created the unrealistic impression that they happen equally to men and women, when we all know that's hardly the case (funny, the feminists still hated the film).

It is encouraging that the "lifestyle maintenance" aspect of alimony may be getting some review, but it will take time before it's widespread - and of course, it's only happening because more women are finally learning what it feels like to get a divorce shiv in their bank accounts.

There was the annoying reference to "Scandinavia" as if it were one country, as well as the likely oversimplification of their divorce laws. Also don't forget the hell on earth that's becoming Sweden nowadays thanks to liberal social programs coupled with unfettered third world immigration. And I couldn't stand seeing all of the douchebag stay at home dad types they showed in the Swedish footage as if that's some kind of noble ideal.

Overall though I am still pleased to see a movie like this get made and think it's required viewing for a young Alglosphere man nowadays. 7/10 rating.

I was out to dinner with my divorce lawyer who i became friends with during my divorce (good guy, got me a good deal, I was happy) and I asked him about the whole prenup thing and he said that as long as you do it long before the marriage (6 months or so) and as long as she has a lawyer representing her, they don't generally get thrown out. He said he won't even do them unless the other party has legal representation. He also said you can get her to waive future alimony in the prenup and it will hold up in court.

I remember reading an online post by a divorce lawyer. He stated that both parties need to sit down with their respective counsels in front of a family court judge or a retired judge. He stipulated it had to be a minimum of six months before the wedding takes place but a year was better.

The judge would read the terms of the prenuptual agreement to both parties and it would be videotaped! That way there is no he said/she said. Neither party can claim they were coerced into it at the 11th hour. And with a judge and two attorneys on camera no one is going to try anything cute.

I don't see myself ever marrying again but if for some inexplicable reason I do, I am definitely going to follow his advice.

[SlickyBoy]

I used to think (many moons ago!) that if one was even considering a prenup, they should forget the marriage as it's already destined for failure if you can't trust the other person enough to get married without it. Of course, that kind of romantic nonsense is financial suicide waiting to happen. Nowadays people come and go in our lives a lot easier than we'd like to admit and commitment from a western woman especially is a lost art. I've seen far too many examples of this when I was in the military - the attitude that men are disposable is widespread, thanks to social changes and "progress." Incidentally, the women interviewed in that film would never think to connect the feminist movement with the destruction of the family unit they witness daily - they blame it all on the system, but the system was the same long before divorce became rampant thanks to feminism. Nobody complained about it because so few people ever used it.

The way to explain a prenup to your bride to be is as if you were living in the zombie apocalypse. Yes, you currently love her to death, but the moment she gets bit by a zombie she becomes a different person - that's the person for whom the prenup is written, the zombie. You just cannot love a zombie that's out to kill you, so it only makes sense to prepare for that unfortunate and hopefully unlikely emergency. But, you assure her, so long as she does her part and doesn't get bitten and turn into a zombie, the prenup will never be an issue. When you pass away before her, as most husbands do, she'll be included in the will and receive a generous payout. That ought to be enough for most ostensible "lifetime partners" and if it isn't, if she whines, bitches and protests as if she's already been cheated, then you may have a calculating succubus on your hand. Walk away. Fast.

The other problem of course is identifying whether or not you have someone capable of homicide as your bride to be. Reading a few ROK articles, keeping up with Heartiste and other sources should be enough for you to apply a few tests to see if you've found a proper marriage partner in the first place. Pre-qualify the hell out of her before you slip on that ring, else it could be a noose you're slipping over your head.

[doc holliday]

I had this young 25 yr old male client of mine tell me how he was moving in with his girlfriend. We got talking and I told him about my divorce and he became very curious about it. I could tell I was scaring the shit out of him. He's a pretty successful guy and told me he doesn't want to lose what he's building. I reassured him that he's ok just living with her as our state doesn't have common law marriage for cohabitators and I then told him that she'll be putting the full court press on him soon to get married. He asked me about prenups and I told him the info about them. Any guy that has a girlfriend who is looking to get married has total leverage on her BEFORE he gets married. These chicks are all desperate to get married once they get to that age so I told him he needs to take advantage of that desperation and get a prenup in place if he decides to marry this chick.

Most bitches of course will freak when they find out their man wants a prenup. They all use that "you don't trust me" , "this is so destroying our marriage before it even starts" and so on. My answer to that I said was that if a chick is so adamant about not signing a prenup, it means that she's not willing to take divorce off the table as an option in her future. After all, the prenup is irrelevant if she remains married to him. I would tell a chick that if she's not willing to sign a prenup, it means that she believes in divorce and not "until death do us part". I would also tell her that today, I trust that you won't divorce me but things and people change over time and in a year, two years, five years etc things may be different and you may be very willing and eager to divorce me and I can't take that chance. Guys need to learn to manipulate these bitches, its not that hard. Most chicks are so emotional and don't think with any logic, making it so easy to get them spinning in circles. I would tell a chick, no prenup, no fairy princess wedding day with nice doilies, flowers, Tiesto dj-ing the wedding while dining on steak tartar, with hundreds of your closest friends and family watching you star in your very own production. My client was cool, he listened and he took my lawyers number. I wish more young guys were as smart as this dude.