[LouieG]

tl;dr - I’m interested in hearing—esp. from older guys—about what type of woman stays slender into middle age.

I’m most interested in what you’ve actually observed, & less in the theory / science. Rather not retread the debate on whether diet or exercise is more important for fitness, if possible.

——

Recently I’ve been involved with three girls who’ve got me thinking about what keeps a woman thin over the long term.

All three are early-20s and petite (< 100 lbs), and each seems to come by her slenderness differently.

The first girl hardly eats. Never comes close to finishing her plate when we go out. A couple weeks ago she came over and complained about being hungry. I didn’t have anything so we went to a bodega to buy a small sleeve of water crackers. She ate a few, then didn’t eat again till lunch the next day.

The second girl is in a running club and does hot yoga daily. She eats what seem to me like normal chick portions, goes drinking each weekend, loves Starbucks milkshakes, all that shit. Without the 2 hrs cardio/day, her thighs would touch for sure.

The third girl is the most unusual case. At 5-foot-1 and 95-ish pounds, she eats more than almost anyone I know. A night out with her usually involves dinner plus 1-2 other stops for snacks or dessert. I’ve seen her eat two Chipotle burritos in a sitting. She spent Wednesday night at my place and brought along a quart of whole milk, to drink as a midnight snack. She does light exercise (dance class) 1-2 times a week and there’s barely an ounce of fat on her.

I’ve dated (that I know of) two bulimic chicks before, so I’m confident that’s not her story. Best I can tell, this girl just has her metabolism turnt up to 11.

——

I know eventually I’ll want to marry and have kids, and I’d prefer my wife doesn’t jumbo-size herself if / when that happens.

So my question is, social pressures & all else being equal, which of the girls above has the best chance to stay slim as she ages? Do you notice any common thread in women who are fit post-marriage and post-kids?

[Mikev75]

I'm 38. Here's what I've noticed based on exes, FB friends etc:

Girls who eat to live instead of live to eat more likely to stay thin. Avoid self proclaimed foodies.

Avoid girls who talk about food and diets all the time. They have a messed up relationship with food.

Don't assume eating disorder girls are a safe bet. They are more obsessed with food than anyone. It can switch to overeating at any moment.

Exes who were big into baking more likely to be fat now.

Cooking is better. My ex wife stayed thin after kids because she knows how to prepare healthy food. She never had a sweet tooth.

Check their pinterest accounts. If a huge percentage of it is food porn, that's a bad sign.

1st girl: probably binging in secret. Bad habit. Has unhealthy relationship with food.

2nd girl: sounds good besides the Starbucks and drinking, which could easily be cut out if she started gaining. She understands concept of regular meals, normal portions and excercise.

3rd girl: she's gotten used to overeating . When her metabolism slows, she'll balloon.

[ComebackKid]

Other option: data an asian girl.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

A few tips from one who has been there:

1). Look at the mother. If mom's fat, odds are her daughter will be. If the thin daughter and fat mom don't seem to compute, then find out if her mom only gained weight *after* she had kids, because this seems to be passed along genetically (or culturally?) too.

2). Go leggy over busty. When you're 21, big boobs seem great. When you're 31, they often become part of a much larger package.

3). Go smart over stupid. Studies have shown intelligence predicts good health. They ask "why?" From experience, it's because stupid people believe in magic cures and shortcuts and are unable to see these don't work. Find a woman who understands science, not trendy bullshit (veganism, alleged spiritual healing).

4). Class matters. Lower class women are more likely to be obese. I have no source, but it's been discussed on Heartiste/Roissy.

5). Old habits die hard. If she exercises and eats properly now, she'll be more likely to do this ten, twenty years down the road. If she sits around eating ice cream now, ditto, except her body won't metabolize it as well.

[JayTx]

DoBA makes excellent points especially: "5). Old habits die hard. If she exercises and eats properly now, she'll be more likely to do this ten, twenty years down the road. If she sits around eating ice cream now, ditto, except her body won't metabolize it as well." From my experience the number one constant with older women that are in decent shape they have always taken care of themselves, it's a lifestyle.
One of your jobs while dating a chick is to make sure she knows you won't tolerate her blowing up like the good year blimp.

[WestIndianArchie]

If you're in it for the long haul
- look at her friends
- her sisters/cousins
- at the mom

Lifelong skinny is very much behavioral, so it has to come from upbringing.
First Girl >> 2nd and 3rd.

The real solution is to leave the West.

WIA

[Basil Ransom]

None of those girls sound all that appealing in the long haul. Guys like to dream about girls who dont eat, but I cant imagine that will help her age well or bear healthy children.

There's nothing wrong with a girl who's a foodie, IF she cooks and keeps her sweet tooth in check. Eating out is a luxury - if she cooks say twenty times for every time you go out to eat, the foodie thing wont be such a problem. A girl with good taste in food is a big plus in my book, as long as shes willing to cook.

The biggest factor is lifestyle. Are her friends thin? Do her friends go to farmers markets and eat healthy? Did she grow up low class?

I've never settled down with a girl or lived with a girlfriend, but I can't imagine I'd ever get to that point unless she valued healthy living like I do. And if we did live together, I think I could exercise enough discipline to ensure that her diet would not be fattening (ie paleo-ish diet).

[BlurredLines]

(12-20-2013 05:55 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

A few tips from one who has been there:

1). Look at the mother. If mom's fat, odds are her daughter will be. If the thin daughter and fat mom don't seem to compute, then find out if her mom only gained weight *after* she had kids, because this seems to be passed along genetically (or culturally?) too.

2). Go leggy over busty. When you're 21, big boobs seem great. When you're 31, they often become part of a much larger package.

3). Go smart over stupid. Studies have shown intelligence predicts good health. They ask "why?" From experience, it's because stupid people believe in magic cures and shortcuts and are unable to see these don't work. Find a woman who understands science, not trendy bullshit (veganism, alleged spiritual healing).

4). Class matters. Lower class women are more likely to be obese. I have no source, but it's been discussed on Heartiste/Roissy.

5). Old habits die hard. If she exercises and eats properly now, she'll be more likely to do this ten, twenty years down the road. If she sits around eating ice cream now, ditto, except her body won't metabolize it as well.

^ This. Perfect.

I always aim to see pictures of the mother with any girl i'm looking to add to the roster long term. Ideally in a tight dress/bikini. It matters that much..!
I'm spoiled with dating some very leggy and skinny girls, and now i cannot tolerate anything but taut toned bodies if it's more than just a ONS.
I have found that hip size is often pretty indicative of future prospects too. Although a girl who works hard at it can maintain low body fat even when 'naturally curvy' ie:big hips.

Sometimes the face can also be a giveaway. Often girls with plump faces (think Jennifer Lawrence) and slim bodies at <21-22 are going to balloon when their metabolism slows with age and/or they stop being so active. One girl i lived with at university literally went from being in the top 10 lookers of the whole university to a 6 at best in just 2 years. All because she couldn't maintain the borderline anorexia that was keeping her thin once her metabolism started slowing.

[runsonmagic]

The universal exception to the wall I've seen is women interested in health food.

In California, there are a lot of women interested in health food, paleo eating, crossfit, yoga, cleanses, etc. An interest in any one of these usually correlates to others and means she'll be healthy (and fuckable) into her older years.

[birdrussell]

I would just juggle all 3 for as long as I could keep it up. It sounds better to have a little variety on your plate than to be worried about what's on thier plates and how it'll effect their body weight in 10 years. I do second almost everything that I've read in this thread however. My dad always told me to look at the mom, and I know chicks with ED are bound to put on weight as soon as they loose control of their anorexia or bolimia. seen it 100 times.

[The Beast1]

You guys are looking at this the wrong way. Lead by example.

My ex was starting to get pretty fat in our relationship. When I started working out daily and eating well she started taking notice.

Then I started getting girls hitting on me who were skinnier than she was. Then she started a diet.

Then finally when I said , "You need to lose weight." She went into over drive.

If you live healthy, your woman tends to live healthy.

[runsonmagic]

(12-21-2013 11:25 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

You guys are looking at this the wrong way. Lead by example.

My ex was starting to get pretty fat in our relationship. When I started working out daily and eating well she started taking notice.

Then I started getting girls hitting on me who were skinnier than she was. Then she started a diet.

Then finally when I said , "You need to lose weight." She went into over drive.

If you live healthy, your woman tends to live healthy.

Truth.

[deushombre]

Very true.

I'd also add that there's more to judge a girls body on than simply slim/fat or under/over 100lbs. A 21 year old chick can easily be slim simply through age & metabolism, but at the same time have pretty crappy overall fitness.

OP mentions that one girl is into yoga, whilst another barely eats. If the two chicks were exactly the same weight it's a safe bet that yoga-girls got a firmer body. She's the chick that'll maintain her weight better over the years, shed pregnancy weight quicker....etc.

There's a huge difference between slim vs fit. The ass never lies. If she's slim with a nice ass your good to go. If she's slim with a flat shapeless ass......watch out!

[blkgatsby]

(12-20-2013 05:55 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

4). Class matters. Lower class women are more likely to be obese. I have no source, but it's been discussed on Heartiste/Roissy.

Because it's viewed as time consuming and expensive to prepare healthy meals. For a sociology class I did a bit of research on it, and the inner city people were more prone to grab cheap stuff as opposed to stuff of nutrition. So instead of grabbing juice, they drink up soda. Instead of meats and greens they get Mac and Cheese and other low effort cheap food. Factor in the fact that all this stuff has a lot of sugar and sodium…there you go.

That's the short of it. I'm excluding a few factors however.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(12-21-2013 11:25 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

You guys are looking at this the wrong way. Lead by example.

My ex was starting to get pretty fat in our relationship. When I started working out daily and eating well she started taking notice.

Then I started getting girls hitting on me who were skinnier than she was. Then she started a diet.

Then finally when I said , "You need to lose weight." She went into over drive.

If you live healthy, your woman tends to live healthy.

Nope. You're still just a lone voice in the wilderness against an overwhelming chorus of "well-meaning" friends, family, web portals, blogs, magazines and assorted fat acceptance lunatics. Trust me, been there, done that. The amount of emotional abuse that I had to inflict on a girl to change - on top of working out, eating healthy and being hit on by skinny women - was mind-boggling.

[The Beast1]

(12-21-2013 04:59 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

(12-21-2013 11:25 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

You guys are looking at this the wrong way. Lead by example.

My ex was starting to get pretty fat in our relationship. When I started working out daily and eating well she started taking notice.

Then I started getting girls hitting on me who were skinnier than she was. Then she started a diet.

Then finally when I said , "You need to lose weight." She went into over drive.

If you live healthy, your woman tends to live healthy.

Nope. You're still just a lone voice in the wilderness against an overwhelming chorus of "well-meaning" friends, family, web portals, blogs, magazines and assorted fat acceptance lunatics. Trust me, been there, done that. The amount of emotional abuse that I had to inflict on a girl to change - on top of working out, eating healthy and being hit on by skinny women - was mind-boggling.

Really? Interesting. It doesn't help that the same "ex" i was referring to has now entered "alpha widow syndrome" post break up.

It's worth a shot. I see no reason dumping a girl who doesn't meet my standards.

[Kaizen]

Genetics helps, but really you need a girl that is VAIN.

The type that panics when she gains 1 lb.

She sees a cupcake and knows its 600 calories and that a 'moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips'

She obsesses about being thin.

These girls you don't have to worry about. Ive went out with a few.

Some had kids later and you would never know it.

The rest...losing battle. If you have to entice a girl to lose weight through getting in shape yourself and so forth, it will be successful for only so long.

[rudebwoy]

The main thing is if they played any sports at a young age, I dated a girl similar to type 3. She had a healthy appetite but did not eat after a certain time, plus she did not have a sweet tooth.

Those type of girls are usually Eastern European and like WIA says your best to leave town, the only girls that I know who care about their bodies are strippers or crossfit chicks.

[Chapped3rdEye]

(12-20-2013 05:55 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

1). Look at the mother.

This. Paternal grandmother is also useful.