[LostSoul]

Hi Everyone

First of all I want to say that this forum has been and continues to be a real eye opener for me and has made me change a lot in my life. When I first posted here I was real lost and felt there was no hope but started working at it slowly to improve. Finally this past year I was able to lose my v card and actually went on a few good dates and got laid again by another girl. My game still needs a ton of work but finally I can see positive results.

Now back to topic, how do you guys deal with break ups? and I dont just mean a one night stand girl that you had fun with and if you lose her its no biggie. I mean real quality type of girls, the diamonds in the rough. I recently broke up with my gf and it was really painful.
My biggest fear is that I might not be able to get another girl of that caliber. Do you guys ever wonder if a girl you let go or if she breaks up with you was the one for you to settle down with ? (Also, its not really one - it is, I had those in high school and university and I am well over it.)

I now know that it is possible to start getting more girls but would they be the type that you can safely settle down with (eventually) and have kids etc. Thats the biggest doubt I have in game right now.
Any advice, opinions appreciated.

[Kloob]

Time + investment into bettering yourself (gym, learning new shiz) + getting out there, talking to & bangin quality women.

This is what I've found works for me. Your life will go on. She is replaceable, there is an abundance of women on this planet. Get stuck into them.

[LostSoul]

(12-13-2013 07:22 AM)Kloob Wrote:  

Time + investment into bettering yourself (gym, learning new shiz) + getting out there, talking to & bangin quality women.

This is what I've found works for me. Your life will go on. She is replaceable, there is an abundance of women on this planet. Get stuck into them.

Yes I do realize there are many girls out there. But my point is will I be able to get another one that is perfect for me, especially in the west where it seems like an impossible task at times.

[PompeyChris]

I'm taking time out of an extremely productive writing session to reply to this. For two reasons, I believe I was in the same position a few months back and because your life will be 100x better once you become enlightened.

First I'll explain the situation I was in. I had a severe oneitis. I was with this girl for over 2 and a half years and thought she was amazing. I would always free up time to see her, tolerate her shit (to a limit) and frankly had an idea of how the life would pan out. The only problem is that she would make a lot less effort than me, and occasionally be a moody bitch.

My Dad was my saviour as such here. He discovered game about two years prior to me and introduced me to the likes of Roosh, Roissy and a few others that I believe were more suited for his age group . He managed to completely change the dynamic within my family. Turning my mum from a complete bitch, to his pitch. She is always all over him and clearly hugely attracted to him. That is hard to write coming from her son. But it's obvious. And disgusting.

Essentially I managed to regain some of the 'power' in the relationship, about a year and a half in. Sex was now on my terms, and I tolerated a lot less of her shit. We cracked on for over another year, but she still had some undesirable traits that she had before. So I ended it. I fear once the girl has established hand in a relationship, she will be extremely hard to turn back.

Anyhow, all throughout my relationship I had been able to game other women. Many women openly told me that they want me, blah blah. Due to my oneitis I always sent them away, feeling like my girl would appreciate this. Nah, why would she know haha.

Okay, now on to how I got over her...

As mentioned, many women were into me. By the ending few months of the relationship I was able to actively game a few and keep them wanting it until the time was right for me to leave the relationship. I did, and had a new girl every week for the next month. Not a big deal to most on this forum, but it allowed me an easy way to get over the girl. I kept a few in rotation over the next few months and frankly it is great.

So here's some tips on how to get over her (actionable ones, for yourself or those who don't wish to read my post)

1. Find another girl.
2. Find another girl, have more than one on the go and you will soon lose the leash that women have around your neck.
3. Work out.
4. Dress well.
5. Always be improving yourself.

And you'll be good.

Now my last message of motivation.

There is always bigger and better. And you will get there. Even if you have to bang people 2 points below your ex, eventually your confidence will be great enough as to make higher quality women even better.

Since ditching my ex, my quality has only risen.

P.S. You are a man, you are not reliant on anything. No situation, person can affect your standing on the earth. Make it yours.

EDIT: No girl is perfect for you. Trust me. Once you bang a few more girls you will notice their flaws. Acne, lopsided tits, hairy, moody, despises things you love, etc.

[LostSoul]

Chris, thats a great post and certainly a lot of good advice in there. However where I differ from you is that I dont have girls hanging of me and wanting to bang me at the drop of a hat. I cant just go and get a quality girl like that. Maybe it would be possible to get an average or heck below average girl and thats a big maybe. But then I know that in my mind I will start comparing them to my ex and it would make things even worse.

[PompeyChris]

(12-13-2013 07:59 AM)LostSoul Wrote:  

Chris, thats a great post and certainly a lot of good advice in there. However where I differ from you is that I dont have girls hanging of me and wanting to bang me at the drop of a hat. I cant just go and get a quality girl like that. Maybe it would be possible to get an average or heck below average girl and thats a big maybe. But then I know that in my mind I will start comparing them to my ex and it would make things even worse.

Mate, I made that happen. It didn't just happen to me. What I'm saying is, get out there and start shagging the world.

Always be improving.

The quality will get there.

You're ex is probably already screwing someone else, realise that she is a devious shit and not the person you think she is. I hate to sound harsh, but it's true. LIFE YOUR LIFE AS YOU. NOT AS AN ATTACHMENT OF HER!

[AntiTrace]

You at least put it in the newbie fun, good job!

Did you break up with her or did she break up with you? It doesn't make much difference but it does make a little.

Ive dealt with a few breakups with real quality girls that we had developed strong feelings for each other. I won't get into the history, but Ive had a 3 year LTR end, a 5 year LTR end, and a couple smaller 6-12 months LTRs end. I initiated all the breakups.

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it is possible to start getting more girls but would they be the type that you can safely settle down with (eventually) and have kids etc. Thats the biggest doubt I have in game right now.

Feeling youll never get another girl of that caliber is normal. It's like sellers remorse. High quality girls that you connect with are very hard to find. But you WILL find another. Its a mathematically certainty that you will find another given you meet enough women.

But no, not every girl you meet is going to be wife material. How many you have to go through to find a quality girl varies greatly on where you are meeting them. Meeting girls at church is going to give you much better quality than meeting girls online. But meeting girls online is going to give you much better quantity than meeting girls at church. See what I'm getting at?

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Now back to topic, how do you guys deal with break ups?

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Time + investment into bettering yourself (gym, learning new shiz) + getting out there, talking to & bangin quality women.

This is what I've found works for me. Your life will go on. She is replaceable, there is an abundance of women on this planet. Get stuck into them.

This. Its going to take time to get rid of that sick to your stomach feeling. I initiated all my breakups but I still got that feeling.

Do you have a gym routine? If no, fix that. Start simple, go with Starting Strength. Get a personal trainer for a day or two to get the basic form down and then go kill it. Most gyms offer a free session with a personal trainer for signing up.

Whats the last book you read? Read another. Don't read one about love or any of the bullshit, read something about fun and adventure. Read a quick article on a science website once a day. Expand your mind.

What are you goals in life? What are you doing to achieve them? You should have a solid answer for this. If you do not, you need establish some solid goals and plan on the steps needed to get there. Then break down each step into smaller steps. Then start steppin.

Do you have fashion sense? Basic fashion sense in the form of knowing when your clothes properly fit and what basic colors go with what? I like to keep my shit simple, think hank moody from californication. Dark pants, a grey or black v neck, dark shoes. If you think you look good, your confidence will soar.

Whats your favorite reality tv show? +1 points for saying you don't watch tv. +0 points for saying something manly like the swamp logging shows or something. -1 for saying anything else. My point: turn off the tv, its a drain on your time.

What are your hobbies? Hopefully you can list anywhere from a few to several. If you don't have hobbies you need to get some.

Are you active in your social community? We are not in high school anymore where we are practically forced to engage with others. You need to build a social circle. Volunteer for a nonprofit or join a local sports legue (something fun like kickball/dodgeball unless your really into a major sport)

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where I differ from you is that I dont have girls hanging of me and wanting to bang me at the drop of a hat.

Your lost your V card within the past year. No one is slaying pussy right after losing their V card. That will change when you start doing everything above.

Upgrade your stock - that means focus on improving yourself. then focus on game. Focusing on game without having a solid foundation as a man is like dropping a four cylinder in a Ferrari. That Ferrari is going to get attention because it appears to be awesome, inside its a weak little bitch and once people realize that they will stop driving the Ferrari.

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where I differ from you is that I dont have girls hanging of me and wanting to bang me at the drop of a hat.

Heres a shocker for you. That quality girl you are thinking about is not a high quality female. She is to you, right now.

Improve yourself as a man and 12-18-24 months from now, you will see the difference.

[Kloob]

This is fucking golden.

[AneroidOcean]

(12-13-2013 07:34 AM)LostSoul Wrote:  

Yes I do realize there are many girls out there. But my point is will I be able to get another one that is perfect for me, especially in the west where it seems like an impossible task at times.

PompeyChris nailed the response.

However, I want to add one thing. This girl was NOT perfect for you.

How do I know?

If she was perfect for you, you'd be together still. Period.

Your logical brain will understand this, your emotions will continue to try to shut your logical brain up. Don't let them. YOU control your emotions, they shouldn't control you.

[DVY]

Easiest way to get over women is to get more women.

[Flavius Aetius]

Most of what needs to have been said has been said above by Pompeychris + antitrace

Also listen to AneroidOcean--"If she was perfect for you, you'd be together still. Period. Your logical brain will understand this, your emotions will continue to try to shut your logical brain up."

The only thing I can add is that I too am in a LTR. I fully expect her to break it off soon because I refuse to commit to her or do the move-in. That is why I see other women on the side. Never become attached to one woman. The more women you meet, date, and sleep with---the more you realize their is no such thing as a perfect woman. When she breaks it off--I will still have other options. Never become dependent on one woman for your happiness. It seems like you made the mistake of investing all your eggs in this one woman.

On a personal level, I prefer it when women break it off with me--they feel good for standing up for themselves. I feel good because I did not have to be the one who ended things (it can get messy,violent, very emotional, etc). I have a habit of keeping a woman around as long I continue to get sex without a real relationship. Why not?

[haywire]

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My biggest fear is that I might not be able to get another girl of that caliber

If that's your biggest fear then you probably don't deserve that girl in the first place, you only got lucky. Just like a poor lottery winner who's won 100 million dollars but knows that he cannot earn it himself.

You got to work on yourself and your inner game. Once you have that level of confidence and that level of game you'll internally know what you're capable of and how it's not hard to find a certain level of quality when you're a quality man yourself.

[Christian McQueen]

Interesting that you asked the same type of question in 2011. 17-18 posts and almost 3 years later and we have the same question...

[Valhalla]

Maintain a sense of self

[LostSoul]

(12-13-2013 05:03 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

Interesting that you asked the same type of question in 2011. 17-18 posts and almost 3 years later and we have the same question...

How so? When I first registered here I had no clue at all about women and was still a virgin. In fact I was considering p4p and travelling to Asia just to lose my v card. Since then I made a bit of progress and this situation is just about getting over a difficult break up and moving on.

[JayTx]

Enjoy your 20's and don't worry about finding a girl to settle down with. So what is your definition of "quality girls"? Because once you start talking about finding someone to settle down with you are probably talking about a mother for your children and quality takes on a whole new meaning compared to a quality girl you pull out of a bar for a ons.

[SDGuerro]

Realize that you are better off! You walk away wiser and more experienced and ready to get more pussy than you ever would've had you settled down. That bitches loss regardless of who ended it.

[robreke]

Re: Breaking up on good terms vs bad terms or not so good terms.

Has anyone done both with women and is there a correlation between breaking up on good terms and having the woman contact/come back into your life later for more dick vs. bad terms where you never hear from her again?

It seems it this would be obvious but I'd like to know about real world experience.

Some girls I breakup with, I'd like to have a shot at down the road again.....others, meh.