[icefire57]

Wassup players

My question to you guys is this: how much do you trust and follow instinct (both female related and more general)?

With me, often times what happens is I will get a really clever, witty, innovative, interesting thing to say or do in my head. And at that moment it just SEEMS like the perfect thing I could say or do. But something (my introverted side perhaps?) often times stops me - then I give it a few more seconds of thought where I say to myself that saying that may not be a good idea, after which point I've lost the moment. If I do go ahead and say it after thinking, it can sound forced and untimely.

An example might be when I'm talking to a new chick and something suggestive and sexy comes to my mind to say (or make the move). But I notice that the longer I wait, the less of an effect it has, to the point where I start worrying that if I say that I'm coming off as creepy.

Another example which happened to me very recently might be me posting a funny video to a friends facebook wall - at the moment it just seems like the perfect thing to share, but the longer I wait and rethink my decision (what will my peers think, how many likes it will get, etc) the less likely I am to do it. Sometimes I will go ahead with the post after pondering it, but DELETE it afterwards because I get self-conscious about it. (In rereading this paragraph I realize how beta it may sound; nevertheless, such conflicts happen with me internally).

I guess I am coming to the conclusion that acting upon instincts is typically a good idea for me. The big drawback for me is I don't want to come off too strong/creepy/w.e else, or make an instinctual decision which turns out to be the wrong one. These hesitations prevent me from making the moves and saying the bold things that sound so good in my head at that moment.

I realize that there is always a balance - too much instinct and no thought can be detrimental, but for a naturally shy and timid guy like myself my over-thinking typically hurts me.

In a way, instinct and alpha are one and the same.

Anyone else experience similiar phenomena? Do you try to actively combat it (and if so, how)?

[Vroom]

(12-10-2013 01:52 AM)icefire57 Wrote:  

Do you try to actively combat it (and if so, how)?

I find alcohol works well.

[Ken Angle]

Great question, icefire. The answer is that you always go with your instincts, as long as you are in a positive, appreciative mindset.

If you are being lead by the ego, or if you are being led by any negativity, then don't trust your instinct.

A rule I have for myself is, "As long as I have benevolent intentions, I should never feel bad about what I want to do."

Back to the ego. I've taught myself to be highly aware of whether my instincts are coming from a needy place (ego) or appreciative place (confidence). It took me years, but the idea is to always ask yourself, "Do I want to say or do this because I want people to like me, or do I want to do it because this is what I really feel?" At first, it will be difficult to discern between the two, but with practice at being aware of your intentions, you'll get damn good at it. Obviously, don't do the egoic thoughts, and DO the positive thoughts. After months of practice, you'll get damn good at being able to act on your positive instincts, and you won't feel hesitant or nervous anymore.

[eradicator]

Quote:

An example might be when I'm talking to a new chick and something suggestive and sexy comes to my mind to say (or make the move). But I notice that the longer I wait, the less of an effect it has, to the point where I start worrying that if I say that I'm coming off as creepy.

It sounds like you are talking about conversations? In that case, I voice my response or idea. You can't really have an opinion about a conversation or idea that never happened.

do I trust my instinct as for female related? Not really.

I have had women that I didn't think were that attracted me who ended up as first date bangs but flamed out and did not bang women that I thought were really attracted to me heading into a date.

as for regretting not posting on your friends facebook walls, just get off of facebook or log in about once a month and talk to your friends from high school and college and then log off for a month. problem solved.

[Ken Angle]

(12-10-2013 05:12 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

as for regretting not posting on your friends facebook walls, just get off of facebook or log in about once a month and talk to your friends from high school and college and then log off for a month. problem solved.

Is that really a problem being solved? You're suggesting that he avoid the problem rather than becoming comfortable with it?

[eradicator]

I am saying if he is on facebook and not sure whether or not to post stuff on his friends walls then he is probably on facebook too much.

[Ken Angle]

(12-10-2013 05:37 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

I am saying if he is on facebook and not sure whether or not to post stuff on his friends walls then he is probably on facebook too much.

That makes sense.

[funkyzeit]

Very much.

You know how you see a girl with this crazy blue eyes and you assume she is a nympho? She is.

That older girl that seem introverted but isn't phased by most disgusting stuff? She was a slut and still has that behavioral pattern buried deep under layers of shame.

The conversation is going well, she's hitting on you but a subtle twitch on her face suddenly makes you suspicious? It's for a reason.

I may sound paranoid but these and similar kinds of things have always proven to be mindblowingly true so they stayed vividly in my memory.

[The Beast1]

I've spent years breaking down walls so i can hear my inner instinct. Women are prey and game is very much like the hunt.

However, i've noticed recently that i've gone from hunting to being hunted. That distinct feeling someone is calculating you is a strange one.

[horn]

99.94%. Learn to cultivate and listen to that voice. It will not fail you over time.