An issue that isn't looked at as much, but recently in my relationship I was in the wrong. I'm not going to say what I did, but it made her cry and "we couldn't be friends anymore" for 4 hours, but she came around. I didn't make any excuses I just said I was sorry and meant it. I think its important to wrap the issue up quickly, maybe take her out to dinner and move past it as quickly as possible. When your in the wrong theres nothing wrong with admitting it and apologizing. I think its important to mean your apology and if she can't accept it and get over it then theres nothing more you can do.
When Your in the Wrong
Is this some kind of clandestine white knight thread?
![[Image: no-more-tears.jpg]](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_UVPacgpIQLc/TJ6NohCxmEI/AAAAAAAACSI/wUqUNojQNPI/s1600/no-more-tears.jpg)
We need more information about the conflict in order to make an accurate assessment.
How exactly were you in the wrong?
How exactly were you in the wrong?
Ha, no, no white knight thread. I actually deleted the second paragraph I was going to post where I said there are very few circumstances where I think the guy is in the wrong and on top of that girls are the ones who fuck over guys 95% of the time, so, I can see how you guys might see this as a stupid thread. I don't want to say what I did.
I think what I lost sight of is the fact that women are weaker emotionally than us and contrary to their common bitch shield public demeanor can be very vulnerable. I can be very mean when I'm mad and I went to far at her. Really shouldn't have posted this considering I don't want to get into it. I wish you could delete a thread.
I think what I lost sight of is the fact that women are weaker emotionally than us and contrary to their common bitch shield public demeanor can be very vulnerable. I can be very mean when I'm mad and I went to far at her. Really shouldn't have posted this considering I don't want to get into it. I wish you could delete a thread.
Guys can be in the wrong dude - we're only human.
I'm guessing you've had the "don't ever say you're sorry to a woman" mantra drilled into you, as it tends to be around here, since in most instances it would come across as a DLV. This alpha/beta dichotomy doesn't always ring true in the real world however; there's plenty of grey areas and room for discretion. If you've truly been a jerk, and haven't displayed behaviour that could be construed as "wrong" in a trivial sense, (especially from a woman's stand point) then taking ownership of that and coming from a place of sincerity (as you have) can have significantly more power than being stubborn and not backing down.
Based upon the limited information you've provided, you did the right thing imho.
I'm guessing you've had the "don't ever say you're sorry to a woman" mantra drilled into you, as it tends to be around here, since in most instances it would come across as a DLV. This alpha/beta dichotomy doesn't always ring true in the real world however; there's plenty of grey areas and room for discretion. If you've truly been a jerk, and haven't displayed behaviour that could be construed as "wrong" in a trivial sense, (especially from a woman's stand point) then taking ownership of that and coming from a place of sincerity (as you have) can have significantly more power than being stubborn and not backing down.
Based upon the limited information you've provided, you did the right thing imho.
You're in the wrong when you say that your in the wrong.
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I think you should stand by your convictions and apologise to the forum for being in the wrong, you're in the wrong sir.
On topic, I'm not sure what the point in this thread is. Are you simply looking for us to agree that apologising to girls is the right move? Cause I don't agree. When it comes to girls you're banging it is useful to intentionally wrong them in the early stages of your relationship, whomever cares least holds the power. Aka Roosh's dick move. You notice those hot girls who flake on you aren't big on the apologising? Whomever cares least. When it comes to girls you want to to bang then usually you should just be cool while doing everything in your power to get them into a private room, a dick move prior to the bang can fuck things up, however apologising won't fix them. It's impossible to wrong a girl you haven't banged within the confines of the law, you don't owe her anything, so no apologies needed. If a girl is playing games with you a large act of disrespect is a pretty useful play to seduce her. 9 out of 10 times you should next a girl who is playing you, however if you're instinct says she's secretly up for it, or if you're wanting to throw a hail Mary in order to shake up the frame and get the seduction back on track you should totally do some hugely disrespectful, no apology needed. If this sounds counter intuitive then maybe you should see how successful groveling for a girls forgiveness is, maybe you'll have time to notice her leaving with some asshole who doesn't give a shit and treats her badly enough to affect her emotions. When he comes to girls you don't want to bang then fuck them, who cares? You don't owe them anything either, and every one of them has blown guys out in the harshest fashion, fuck apologising to them.
At most I'd offer a mea culpa then continue on as if it never happened. If they continue to push it then flip it around on them 'I said my bad, why are you being such an asshole about it?'.
On topic, I'm not sure what the point in this thread is. Are you simply looking for us to agree that apologising to girls is the right move? Cause I don't agree. When it comes to girls you're banging it is useful to intentionally wrong them in the early stages of your relationship, whomever cares least holds the power. Aka Roosh's dick move. You notice those hot girls who flake on you aren't big on the apologising? Whomever cares least. When it comes to girls you want to to bang then usually you should just be cool while doing everything in your power to get them into a private room, a dick move prior to the bang can fuck things up, however apologising won't fix them. It's impossible to wrong a girl you haven't banged within the confines of the law, you don't owe her anything, so no apologies needed. If a girl is playing games with you a large act of disrespect is a pretty useful play to seduce her. 9 out of 10 times you should next a girl who is playing you, however if you're instinct says she's secretly up for it, or if you're wanting to throw a hail Mary in order to shake up the frame and get the seduction back on track you should totally do some hugely disrespectful, no apology needed. If this sounds counter intuitive then maybe you should see how successful groveling for a girls forgiveness is, maybe you'll have time to notice her leaving with some asshole who doesn't give a shit and treats her badly enough to affect her emotions. When he comes to girls you don't want to bang then fuck them, who cares? You don't owe them anything either, and every one of them has blown guys out in the harshest fashion, fuck apologising to them.
At most I'd offer a mea culpa then continue on as if it never happened. If they continue to push it then flip it around on them 'I said my bad, why are you being such an asshole about it?'.
Quote: (12-01-2013 07:28 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:
You're in the wrong when you say that your in the wrong.
"Feminism is a trade union for ugly women"- Peregrine
I wanna make this a communal thread and write about a time I was definitely in the wrong and ask how I could have potentially recovered:
I was FWB with this girl for like 4 months. One night, I went over to her place expecting to fuck her and go see a movie we both wanted to see. She didn't want to fuck for some reason and was acting stand-offish. I wasn't about to let her ruin my good mood and I happened to have a quarter ounce of shrooms in my car. So I ate them before leaving for the movie.
Long story short: They were good shrooms. After the movie, in an attempt to drive her home, I ended up driving around very erratically for over an hour, chain smoking and yelling out random profound-sounding (at the time) shit. She was scared shitless and very pissed off, but tried to act like nothing was wrong. Eventually, she got out at a light and I never saw her again.
I texted her the next day saying sorry about that. She said it was fine, but never wanted to meet up again.
Was there a potential salvage there? It's been a long time. I was thinking I should text her again lately.
I was FWB with this girl for like 4 months. One night, I went over to her place expecting to fuck her and go see a movie we both wanted to see. She didn't want to fuck for some reason and was acting stand-offish. I wasn't about to let her ruin my good mood and I happened to have a quarter ounce of shrooms in my car. So I ate them before leaving for the movie.
Long story short: They were good shrooms. After the movie, in an attempt to drive her home, I ended up driving around very erratically for over an hour, chain smoking and yelling out random profound-sounding (at the time) shit. She was scared shitless and very pissed off, but tried to act like nothing was wrong. Eventually, she got out at a light and I never saw her again.
I texted her the next day saying sorry about that. She said it was fine, but never wanted to meet up again.
Was there a potential salvage there? It's been a long time. I was thinking I should text her again lately.
I'm going to say texting her after was a bad move. There was no damage control to be done, apologising got you nothing. You should have waited for her to try and call you on your high insanity and then said 'yeah that was a crazy night.'. Though honestly why get caught up on this one Girl? If she doesn't want you then next!
I'd like to respond, but you seem happy with your blue pill existence.
who am I to crush your dreams.
WIA
who am I to crush your dreams.
WIA
Quote: (12-01-2013 12:07 PM)Statsi Wrote:
I'm going to say texting her after was a bad move. There was no damage control to be done, apologising got you nothing. You should have waited for her to try and call you on your high insanity and then said 'yeah that was a crazy night.'. Though honestly why get caught up on this one Girl? If she doesn't want you then next!
It's a no-cost potential rebound and she was pretty cool. But yeah, I'm totally over it haha.
If you're truly in the wrong, apologize and move on. Dont' let her bring it up again. If she keeps trying, she's a bitch, treat her accordingly.
Quote: (12-01-2013 02:08 PM)Floss Wrote:
Quote: (12-01-2013 12:07 PM)Statsi Wrote:
I'm going to say texting her after was a bad move. There was no damage control to be done, apologising got you nothing. You should have waited for her to try and call you on your high insanity and then said 'yeah that was a crazy night.'. Though honestly why get caught up on this one Girl? If she doesn't want you then next!
It's a no-cost potential rebound and she was pretty cool. But yeah, I'm totally over it haha.
So I hit her up. We're meeting later this week. We'll see where this goes. She doesn't seem mad anymore, but I'm pretty sure she's the type to hold a grudge.
I've never been talking to/seeing so many girls at once before in my life (5). I know that's nothing to most of you guys, but it's pretty exciting for me. Instead of scheduling 3 days out to seem busy, I do so because I actually am. Good shit.
I was a huge asshole to the main girl I've been banging when I was black out drunk a couple weeks ago. It got to the point where she walked out.
I live in a college town and her apartment is a half mile away from my house. She usually walks over because she doesn't have a car so I told her I would pick her up the next time we hung out to make it up to her.
Moral of the story to the OP: You don't have to actually say the words "I'm sorry" to a girl. Just be as minimally involved as possible so that a trivial thing seems like a favor. It's your frame, not hers.
She still walks over and the weather here averages 20 degrees Fahrenheit this time of year.
I live in a college town and her apartment is a half mile away from my house. She usually walks over because she doesn't have a car so I told her I would pick her up the next time we hung out to make it up to her.
Moral of the story to the OP: You don't have to actually say the words "I'm sorry" to a girl. Just be as minimally involved as possible so that a trivial thing seems like a favor. It's your frame, not hers.
She still walks over and the weather here averages 20 degrees Fahrenheit this time of year.
When apologized to and told that "you'll make it up to them", 100% of the girls will try to use your guilt to extract something more out of you, no exceptions.
Don't apologize, tell her you feel bad and that's it. No promises, no dinners. Make her be the one to work for your better behavior as reward. If she refuses, disappear for a period of time.
Don't apologize, tell her you feel bad and that's it. No promises, no dinners. Make her be the one to work for your better behavior as reward. If she refuses, disappear for a period of time.
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