[The Lizard of Oz]

(04-19-2019 09:28 PM)etwsake Wrote:  

Year four is finished.

Remember being a kid? Four years was a lifetime. That's an entire high school career. But now it goes by in a blink. Scary.

I'm signing up for year five as of April 20th, 2019.

Once again, thank you Lizard of Oz, and everyone else that has encouraged me to keep it up over the years. I appreciate it, gentlemen.

That is wonderful news, etwsake. I know you've had some hard times along the way -- maybe as hard as anyone here -- and I greatly respect and admire your perseverance with the wagon. Four years is not, in fact, a very long time -- but it's not short, either; it's a good thick chunk of time and to have that wagon mileage is like having a deposit in the bank made of solid gold. You may not be able to cash it in just yet, or for a while -- but you know it's there, and every nugget of the time you've put in counts.

Welcome back aboard for year 5 as of April 20, 2019 and I look forward to hearing more from you in this thread as time goes on.

[Rhyme or Reason]

I'm almost at the 4 month mark. I've decided to recommit myself to the wagon and stop fucking around.

This past friday I DD'd for a friend, we hit some bars and I drank club soda. I wasn't tempted to drink, but I was tempted to punch a few people in the face. Being around drunk, obnoxious barflies was hard enough when I was drinking. Sober? Fuggettabouttit.

The rest of the weekend i spent working at my bartending job. Some might think that I'd be tempted to drink there but that's never been an issue for me, even when I was actively drinking. What gets annoying is drunk customers wanting to buy me a shot.

I have had to accept the fact that I need to temper my expectations for this wagon. I won't be in a good mood most of the time and I won't be having fun. But that's the breaks. I'm slowly learning how this works.

As for socializing, going out, ect...I had already seen diminishing returns on that when I was still drinking. I had already grown sick and tired of drunk idiots, barsloots, bullshit conversation, ect. That shit has played itself out. If I'm to have a social life at this point it's going to have to re-invent itself, and the only way out is through. Finding new ways and means and all that. I think I've made things more difficult on myself thus far by having the expectation that this would somehow be 'more fun' or easy, or that I would see immediate results that would reward me for my abstinence. Well nothing in life worth having is easy, why would this be any different?

Changing behaviors and expecting to reap the benefits of the shitty behavior you were engaged in beforehand doesn't make much sense, does it?

This thread has become like my personal AA meeting...I don't go to AA meetings in real life because they're gay as fuck, and full of crybabies.

Thanks everyone, keep up the good work.

[CaptainCup]

Hey Rhyme

Way to go, man. Keep it up. A month or so back, you were pretty frustrated. Glad you’re sticking with it. It’ll get easier and you’ll find your stride.

Awesome that you had the willpower to stay the course even with tending bar.

I agree with you about AA meetings. I went to one meeting many years ago and it was a downer. This thread is much better.

[flanders]

I set my old quitting date as 4/11/2017 even though in hindsight it was probably a bit earlier since a wakeup call at a doctor's office in that month served as the impetus to quit. I unwisely keep no daily ledger to mark a particular date so its set at 4/11 since its easier to remember.

I didnt go into a lot of details in my one year sobriety post on this thread last year partly because the risk of being "found out" on the internet is always there and my medical diagnosis is not extremely common (it might even be a self doxx) and would likely affect future employment. Some day I may comment in far greater detail but not until I dont care if I get fired or quietly prevented from advancement.

That being said its safe to say I'm glad to have been sober the last two years. Its been an eye opener for sure.

If you suffer from a serious drinking problem you may never know exactly why you drink as heavily as you do until you quit. For me it was partly a coping mechanism for misery, financial problems, medical problems and serious sleep problems. Getting shitwrecked made all those nagging chronic worries and problems go away for a little while and made me feel great for a few hours (and able to "cure" insomnia temporarily by passing out blackout drunk) but it was no lasting fix and always created more problems in the end. Like all chemicals, the party is going to be over some day and you alone have to decide when and how its going to go down.

Since quitting drinking I notice nothing but benefits. Even half assing a gym routine I have gotten stronger and more muscular, like nutrient partitioning works better for no apparent reason. Getting out of bed regularly and actually enjoying a day of labor or leisure happens regularly instead of infrequently.

Sleep quality is better overall. I have less generalized anxiety, theres always a lot of money in my checking account to buy healthy things like nutrient rich food.

The year I quit drinking I made the most amount of money I ever made in my life. Last year I made even more yet, by nearly 25% increase and i may go further this year.

While doing so I dumped nearly all the difference into investment accounts and towards debt, so soon all my serious problems may be completely over and done with. I'm slowly digging myself out of this hole and might get my goal accomplished of being debt free and even prudently invested several years ahead of schedule and on an income some of you guys might think is chicken feed, and quitting drinking is one of the biggest reasons why.

Granted its not all about money as I have regained control of life in other ways but paying off massive sums of debt is what Im most proud of.

[77market]

Seven months and grateful every day!