[Kickb]

For instance, i was talking to this girl who is obviously not fat but for some reason I said something about her being fat. she said "Thanks Chad for called me fat" because i didnt want to apologize i think i said something like "No problem" I suppose i did a great job at lowering her value...

Saying stupid things is bound to happen when talking to a chick, how do you guys deal with it?

[Bukowsky]

Some people speak before they think, others think before they speak.

There is a difference between a neg, and an insult. An insult just hurts her feelings. That is not cool. A neg is best when it technically is a compliment, but comes out a back-handed disqualification. Or vice-versa. This tells her you are saying something nice, but in her particular case, it could mean both things.

Example: you are talking to a girl, obviously pretty/attractive (ie. enough guys have hit on her for her to know she is). But she is also just 5 feet tall.

"You know, I've never been with a girl less than 4 feet tall - but I always got the impression there was something special about them"

You're telling her several things. You hook up, possibly often (her hamster will spin, so she'll think so), you are teasing her (not insulting, just teasing - you could also have called her a dwarf, but that is perhaps a little more sensitive), but you are also giving a probable/possible compliment.

On the particular issue of weight, just AVOID that topic with girls unless your game is good enough that you know you can turn it into something funny. Talking about weight is a no-no. Like religion, politics, etc. (unless it is to demonstrate higher-value. You could talk about they days you were a butterbar and could barely do 1 push-up - it will do you no harm because you are obviously in good shape now, and you could well have DHV'ed because she'll appreciate how you have achieved success in your life. It could mean especially much to her, if she can relate to it. Downside is she'll think you're a little bitch for talking about your weight problems).

[speakeasy]

Yeah, I'd agree. Negging on weight is a no-no. As well as age. You neg can her for being young if she's younger than what you normally date, but NEVER neg a chic for being older. Just don't. Negging a girl's weight or age is like the equivalent of a girl negging you on your penis size. There's just no way to do it without being extremely insulting.

I also think we need to get over this idea that it's not alpha to apologize for something. There's nothing beta about admitting you fucked up if you really did. That's why you have fights break out in clubs over stupid shit. Some dude steps on another dude's foot, and rather than turn around and say, "my bad, dude", he think he's above apologizing for shit and then next thing you know fist are flying. Over absolutely nothing.

[Bukowsky]

Apologizing because you're eager to please is wrong. Apologizing because it's the right thing to do in that situation (to defuse it, for instance) is fine, because it's the right thing to.

[Kickb]

In this case i wasnt trying to neg her, she was talking about how she was really tired and watned one of those electric chairs that obese or handicap people use. Whatever i said, it made it sound like she was fat

[FretDancer]

Bukowsky is right. If she took it a little extra hard then you should apologize to her (not down on knees begging apologize), just apologize in a calm cool way, but showing that you mean it.

Saying stupid things happens, I think it tends to go away with time/practice though. Still in some contexts where there's a mixture of culture, different values, or different points of views between you and her, what you don't think as "stupid to say" could be taken in the opposite way.

And yeah, when the topic about weight comes up for any particular reason, just listen what she has to say, think before you speak, say something and then try changing the subject as soon as you can, its not something interesting to talk about either, unless you're good at making jokes about it without her feeling insulted.

[Kona]

(11-24-2010 06:15 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

Negging on weight is a no-no. As well as age.

Those are the two best things to go after if you're trying to swoop American girls.

You gotta keep it fun though and just don't come out and call them old fat asses.

Say something like "i like you, you're voluptuous"... Just try it.

Aloha!

[speakeasy]

(11-25-2010 05:00 AM)Kona Wrote:  

Say something like "i like you, you're voluptuous"... Just try it.

Thing is, I like voluptuous women, so for me it wouldn't be neg, it'd be true!

[Sonsowey]

Lots of times it's best just to move on.

I've said lots of stuff that has really offended girls, honestly most of the time just changing the subject and acting like it's not a big deal works best. Most people will follow your lead in a conversation, even if you ignore what they say, as long as you re-engage them on another topic or a related one.

[Giovonny]

Don't apoligize in the traditional sweet "im sorry" kind of way. You have already established yourself as kind of an asshole. This is a good thing. What I would do is win over her friends. If her friends like you, she will have no choice but to like you also. Be very playful with her friends and tease them also (very playfully). Just show them that you are a fun guy who s confident enough to joke a little. Have fun with them. When the fattie says your an asshole, her freinds will say "no, he's cool, he was just kidding". In reality, her friends know that shes fat, so they might secretly respect you for telling her the truth. You gotta get her friends on your side. Then just play it off like it was a joke. And try to get one of her skinnier freinds

And work on your teasing/negging game. You can't say these things with a serious tone. She has to know that you are HALF joking.

Negging about weight is not for beginners

[metalhaze]

"Saying stupid things is bound to happen when talking to a chick, how do you guys deal with it?"

never ever apologize or backdown from something you said. apologizing is an admission of guilt. (that's how the police try to get you to confess)

keep in mind that people perceive things differently. if she wants to perceive what you told her as being "fat" then so be it. you did not intend to tell her that anyway.

look women are experts at pretending to be insulted because they try to manipulate you with guilt. if you feel you're gonna say something that you might regret then just dont say it at all. remember less talk is better as being talkative is not sexy and what you say can and will be used against you as women have great memory. so if you say something don't backdown from it or apologize unless you intently said it in a moment of rage to hurt someone on purpose.

[oldnemesis]

(11-25-2010 05:00 AM)Kona Wrote:  

Say something like "i like you, you're voluptuous"... Just try it.

Fuck. I had to check the dictionary to understand what this word means, and still cannot even pronounce it properly.

Like Roosh's first opener he mentioned in Bang, the first time I've read it, I thought like "there is no fucking way I could say all that unless I read it from a piece of paper". Sometime I wish there was a ESL game book, I'd use it to study English. LOL.

[Quasi]

I liked negging my ex about her being older.. but guess the relation dynamics is different, wasnt a big difference, more like 3-4 years, but after her friend had seen us and remarked who was that "young, young guy" I often used to piss her off with that..

And if girls are young and start with asking my age.. I often remind them they are young and ignorant and not really what I seek, which is true all around..

Depending on how you serve it.. it will be a male bitch shield and few push through that...

Its more a frame problem than its what you say IMO.. incredible the arrogant shit I can get away with and even if they resent my guts somehow I still get laid.
But clearly that also makes me inappropriate long term material... which is my style and probably also true...

But not saying incredible stupid and lame stuff offcourse, which you did, telling girls they are fat is big nono and in general age too, anything that will make her feel crappy will make her resent you, in your case now youve tried that, dont fucking do it again, unless you want her to leave quickly, there is no getting back from showing lack of conscious thinking... :-)

We all do it sometimes somehow, given enough time, stupid crap is bound to come out of your mouth if you talk enough..but to exercise selfcontrol is the key to avoid sharing all your opinions and ideas.. many of them are best left unsaid.