[Lex S.]

All my life I was the invisible guy who was either ignored or stepped over because I was too much of a doormat. The first time I had sex it was with one of the hottest girls in my dorm, and around that time I had been acting like the stereotypical nice guy. I figured that's how to get laid, so I acted like a gentleman to every girl I had an interest in, and it lead nowhere. I went 4 years between losing my virginity and having sex the next time.

I then entered into a long-term relationship and learned a bit about women, but when we split I tried to rebound by being a nice guy again. I delved REALLY far down into beta territory and it did me no favors. Then about 2 years ago I decided to try and re-program my brain in all aspects of life. I'd stop being a doormat and stand up for myself. The biggest step in this was kicking the pedestal out from women I meet, which is almost every guy's problem. I realized that girls put on a really nice face and attitude for the public, but deep down they're nothing special, and most of the time they're just horrible people. They're warm holes, that's it.

So I've been juggling between nice guy and aloof asshole game, trying to find a balance that works. The thing is my game is completely unpredictable. I ended up getting phone numbers easily, but that's no guarantee that they'll even talk to you, much less fuck you. Sometimes I'd get phone numbers from hot girls, then try and get one from a bottom of the barrel girl and get rejected. The first one night stand I had was with a beautiful foreign girl who I still see every time she visits my city. A week later I was rejected by a plain Jane who was a solid 5.

The worst is when things seem to be shaping up with a girl, then when I go in for a kiss or ask for their number I get rejected and they just disappear or go cold on me. The number thing was always baffling to me - I could have a girl grinding on me, touching me, getting close altogether, etc., then act offended when I try and get her number.

I know that all girls operate differently and your game has to be fluid to try and pick up different girls with different personalities. But it really is feast or famine for me - One week I had sex with 3 different girls, then I had a dry spell for a few months. When things seem to be going good they usually backfire, and when things are so-so is usually when things go in my favor. I can't predict what will happen.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? Do you have any tips for getting over this hump?

[Travesty]

Yes I have experienced all of what you said the last 2 or 3 years and am myself just becoming a bit more consistent this last year.

You just need more experience and things that may affect your mood for days will slowly affect you for less time.

Examples: A 5 blows you out, an 8 that seemed like a sure thing flakes on you. Or the reverse you bang 3 above average girls in a week.

Both the good and bad experiences will affect you less. Therefore your game will stay more consistently at a higher level because you do not get knocked back by the negatives and you do not get overconfident or lazy due to the positives.

In myself this has manifested in 2 things:

1) When I am on a hot streak I dare not waste it by getting lazy or feeling entitled, I take my boost in confidence to score even more new girls while my good fortune lasts instead of laying around celebrating in my mind.
2) Blowouts and bad flakes become more and more laughable as it truly is a Numbers Game. No different than a roulette wheel spinning in Vegas. I believe though as you get better at Game and Pre-selection of the girls you are after this magic roulette wheel plays heavier in your favor, but still will always exist. The core pillar of game is emotional control and frame. Learning and accepting that it really is a game helps you step back and hold your frame in the face of any situation.

[Giovonny]

Just keep going.

[funkyzeit]

You are still adapting and "reprogramming" your personality to the red pill ways, so fluctuations are normal.

You don't need to be an asshole, but you need to be bold and confident. If you get her number but then pussy out when you call because of some mental blockade, she'll cross you. It'll take time, most of us still have these "ego downs" because we were raised as blue pillers, but it'll pass.

Try zink supplementing, work out and stop with porn, your motivation and determination will go up. It worked for me at least, you'll want girls in more sexual way than emotional so they'll give it to you to get to your "soft side".

[Special1]

i agree with what is said above.

1. fluctuation is normal. you are learning and as with every learning, things take time, you make mistakes and need more and more experience to build confidence and get into the positive upward spiral.

2. try to reduce the fluctuation. when you fuck a girl, game other girls and don't slow down. when i fuck girls, i go out and talk to girls but if the sex was good and my balls are empty (or emptier) i am naturally less needy. i watch myself how relaxed i am and how my body language is, how i talk and what i talk about and try to copy that behavior when i am horny again. i feel since i don't care so much whether i fucked or not for a long time, i am less needy and then sex comes to you (once you know the game basics).

3. so when you go out, your objective should be to have fun. girls smell that and come to you or watch you which is an invitation to talk to them. so go for venues that are fun, that play your music where people are that you like. maybe in the beginning go out without thinking of getting laid. not even getting a number. just go out to have fun and see what happens. you will learn a lot.

4. after mistakes or failure, use the aggression/energy in the gym and for further game improvement. think like this: "ok she dumbed me, but i feel like not much was missing. in 3 months from now, i will be even better because i worked out and gotten more muscle. i will look more masculine, i will have spoken to 100 new girls and dated 20 of them, fucked 10 of them." so in 3 months from now, the one who dumbed you will be not even worth it because you are going for hotter ones. and if you get dumbed by these, it will improve your game further and guess what happens 3 months from then on????

got it?

[Lex S.]

Thanks for the advice, guys. I think one of my major problems is that I can talk the talk, but I'm not quite able to walk the walk, so a lot of non-verbal cues are probably fucking me up, showing nervousness, etc. I've been working on ways to calm myself down and be more relaxed. One huge problem I've found a lot of guys have (Myself included) is that we're in our heads too much, analyzing everything and trying not to fuck up....Which only jinxes us more. I've found that when I'm stuck in my head I end up trying to view routines as a formula or a mechanical thing when really I should be going by my gut instinct and just feel it out. This attitude fluctuates, which could explain why some days I do well with 7's or 8's and other times I'm shat on by 5's.

[chickenchaser]

(12-18-2013 12:43 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

Thanks for the advice, guys. I think one of my major problems is that I can talk the talk, but I'm not quite able to walk the walk, so a lot of non-verbal cues are probably fucking me up, showing nervousness, etc. I've been working on ways to calm myself down and be more relaxed. One huge problem I've found a lot of guys have (Myself included) is that we're in our heads too much, analyzing everything and trying not to fuck up....Which only jinxes us more. I've found that when I'm stuck in my head I end up trying to view routines as a formula or a mechanical thing when really I should be going by my gut instinct and just feel it out. This attitude fluctuates, which could explain why some days I do well with 7's or 8's and other times I'm shat on by 5's.

When that happens to me, I tell myself "Fuck, I'm in my head. Looks like I won't be seeing her again. Let's just enjoy whatever I have left of her until she's gone, and meet someone else next week." That helps.

[Travesty]

(12-18-2013 12:43 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

Thanks for the advice, guys. I think one of my major problems is that I can talk the talk, but I'm not quite able to walk the walk, so a lot of non-verbal cues are probably fucking me up, showing nervousness, etc. I've been working on ways to calm myself down and be more relaxed. One huge problem I've found a lot of guys have (Myself included) is that we're in our heads too much, analyzing everything and trying not to fuck up....Which only jinxes us more. I've found that when I'm stuck in my head I end up trying to view routines as a formula or a mechanical thing when really I should be going by my gut instinct and just feel it out. This attitude fluctuates, which could explain why some days I do well with 7's or 8's and other times I'm shat on by 5's.

I think you need to go out and bang more high 5s and low 6s ASAP. You need to up your confidence that you can get from open to close in an easy manner. Not sure what your N is, but if it is less than 20 I definitely recommend upping that so you get more experience on all game fronts from "hello" to bang.

Once you bang enough girls, you will have run into the vast majority of situations, you will know how to handle things at any point. The voice in your head and analyzing disappears. You start going on auto-pilot. You listen to your instincts. You become less thoughtful man and more beast. Only difference in the game will be that the girls start getting cuter as you silence that voice of doubt.