[Broseidon]

Despite society telling us to " learn from others' mistakes ", ... i believe that enduring certain negative experiences can forge you into more of a man. From my own experience, the following have helped me

- getting cheated on by a girl you thought was "The One"
- failing after working towards some long term goal (helped me understand that i have to earn my place in this world as a man)
- spending a few days in jail (helped me appreciate my number 1 asset - Freedom)
- An extended period of isolation/depression ( once you get out of it, you will never treat people the same again, you gain more empathy. You also learn more about yourself that way )

So what are some negative experiences that can help you grow as a man, appreciate life, become more Redpill, become more resilient, more mature etc ... ?

Explanations are welcome too !

[Way Cool Jr]

Great thread, I'll add my 2cents:

-Getting through a serious breakup and get your heart broken in a thousand pieces.
I still believe that suffering a lot for the girl you loved is an important experience. It hurts like hell but you can learn a lot about you and what you want in life.

-Finding yourself with little to no money.
This will make you trust more in you instead of in your resources.

-The death of someone you care.
It's hard to explain but after you lose someone important for you a lot of things changes in your mind. If you have been there you know what I'm talking about.

[Volk]

Every man? I believe for each person, they have several things to go through, which may not be the same you need.

In my opinion?
1. Rejection
2. Getting into a fight
3. Being left in the middle of nowhere with nothing.

I bet # 3 doesn't apply to everyone, for example.

[lavidaloca]

Out of curiosity why should every man get into a fight? To feel physical pain? There are many other ways which just about every person would feel physical pain at some point in their life equal to or greater than they would in a fight.

[Architekt]

This doesn't necessarily apply to everyone but...

Realising you swallowed the wrong pill

[HonantheBarbarian]

How much do you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?

I think moreso than getting in a fight, getting jumped changes perspective. Although knowing where you fall on the primal pecking order is still equally important.

I grew up thinking I could beat anyone's ass. And man to man I was usually right. But one night I was far from home, rolling somewhat dolo in Vegas and found myself surrounded gang members of a well known group and had to face 20+. It was a bad night.

Getting jumped shows you that even the toughest arent invincible, you have to pick your battles wisely and be cunning. Strike at the right time and all that. Being crazy on its own isn't enough. You have to know when to be crazy.

[Aliblahba]

No amount of training or science will tell you how you'll do in a fight. A guy can spend 5 years in the ring, but piss himself in a real life situation. You'll never know until you do, and will let you know where you stand in the world.

[Cyr]

Also, getting in a fight normally inspires you to start training seriously. It encourages you to start boxing or mma etc.

[Dr. Howard]

I don't think people should have to endure negative experiences. My negative experiences are all just lessons that I should have:
a) listened to those more wise than me that have been through it and given me advice that I ignored
b) realized that my 'traumatic experience' has been documented by an author somewhere that went through the same thing. I could have learned from them instead of for myself.

Being in a 'real fight' may be one that I can support as an experience that is not learnable or teachable.

[Wutang]

(11-03-2013 12:20 PM)Broseidon Wrote:  

Despite society telling us to " learn from others' mistakes ", ... i believe that enduring certain negative experiences can forge you into more of a man. From my own experience, the following have helped me

- failing after working towards some long term goal (helped me understand that i have to earn my place in this world as a man)

I think this one is key. Aren't we hearing all the time about how the new generation of kids are growing up to be a bunch of pussies because they don't know what it's like to deal with failure?

Failing also makes you realize except in cases where you end up getting crippled or something, that ultimately it's not a big deal in the grand scheme.

There was a period of time where I was doing a lot of day game cold approaches and I think that it's really made me realize internalize the idea that a lot of the little failures you encounter in life aren't going to break you. Each rejection is basically like a mini-failure and as anyone who has done cold approaches know, even if an approach doesn't go well you always feel better after it then the way feel if you let the girl get away without you even trying to talk to her.

[Giovonny]

Life will give you enough negative experiences. Don't ask for more.

[Sp5]

I think everyone should start a fight and get their ass kicked as a result.

[Christian McQueen]

-Having their heart 'broken'.
-Getting cheated on by 'the one'.
-Jail (can be couple days but will help a cat appreciate freedom)
-A fight. A legit life or death fight.

[Wutang]

(11-03-2013 02:36 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Life will give you enough negative experiences. Don't ask for more.

I think we shouldn't specifically seek out negative experiences. However, we should be more willing to put ourselves in situations when negative experiences could happen.

[We The Real]

Face death at the crossroads and walk away ..

[Aliblahba]

Fuck a fattie.*



*Still on my list of things to do.

[Broseidon]

(11-03-2013 11:24 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

Fuck a fattie.*



*Still on my list of things to do.

I have done it ... builds character !

[We The Real]

Had a fattie Blow me and Jerk me off for 2 and half hours.. Could not bust. lmfao

[renotime]

Anyone with a lot of experience has most likely earned that through quite a few failures.

[Quintus Curtius]

(11-03-2013 11:10 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

-Having their heart 'broken'.
-Getting cheated on by 'the one'.
-Jail (can be couple days but will help a cat appreciate freedom)
-A fight. A legit life or death fight.

____________

Something about McQueen makes me feel like this guy is my younger brother separated at birth. I knew it from the moment I read his first post on ROK. I just can't explain it...

I agree with all of these, and would add:

--Getting fired from a job.
--Getting lost or abandoned in a strange city and having to claw your way out.

[Peregrine]

Losing a large (relative to your net worth) sum of money at once.

[lskdfjldsf]

My dad always told me, "You don't know shit about yourself until you've lost a fight."

[Maciano]

Worst I ever experienced: seeing someone you love, die.

But you will survive it and you will be stronger afterwards. That's the best way to honor them. If that doesn't make sense now, it will someday.

[booshala]

(11-03-2013 12:58 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  

How much do you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?

I think moreso than getting in a fight, getting jumped changes perspective. Although knowing where you fall on the primal pecking order is still equally important.

I grew up thinking I could beat anyone's ass. And man to man I was usually right. But one night I was far from home, rolling somewhat dolo in Vegas and found myself surrounded gang members of a well known group and had to face 20+. It was a bad night.

Getting jumped shows you that even the toughest arent invincible, you have to pick your battles wisely and be cunning. Strike at the right time and all that. Being crazy on its own isn't enough. You have to know when to be crazy.

Gotten jumped a couple of times in my youth but took a pretty bad beating last year when 4-5 gangsters rolled me up in Ktown last year. Totally get what you're saying when you face such insurmountable odds: didn't beg, didn't cry, just tried to fight as long as possible and fuck up at least one of them before losing consciousness. Thinking about how you react in a primal experience like that changes your perspective on a lot of things and I learned to not only be more careful but to also appreciate all the good things in my life more.

[Veloce]

Basically you can sum all these up into one large category: Loss.

Loss of health, losing a fight, a loved one, a large sum of money, loss of freedom, loss of sanity (drugs), etc.

It's good to experience loss, but I think there's such thing as too much. You don't want to become embittered toward the world. I've never been knocked unconscious thank god, but I've lost a loved one, large sums of money, health, sanity, my first love, quite a bit actually. I've had about 2 occasions in life where I hit my emotional rock bottom, where I knew things couldn't possibly get any worse.

Ayn Rand talks about this in The Fountainhead. There's a certain place, sort of an emotional crawl space, where no matter how bad things get, no-one can touch you there and that things really only do get so bad. It's important to know this and keep it in mind.