[Videl]

I sent a message to a girl. It was today afternoon. I know she is online but for some reason she hasn't seen my message. When somebody sees the message you send it says something like "message seen at time x"

Now my question is, is it possible she seen my message and just ignored it, or did she just miss my message in the chaos of facebook? I know her for few days and she seemed very interested, always smiling to me, pasionate eyecontact, staring deep into my eyes when I talked to her and always asking/checking how I was doing.

I pretty sure she just oversaw my message because if she saw my message it would say "message seen on x".. It is night at my place. Tomorrow I want to message her again. At what time and what should I say?

The facebook message I sent to her was. "Hey Ania, how was your day? You have been to uni today? : )"

[Tuthmosis]

[Ensam]

Don't mess around with facebook. Just call her.

[reino341]

You lost the girl before you sent the message, which by the way is hopelessly needy.

[Videl]

(09-30-2013 06:31 PM)reino341 Wrote:  

You lost the girl before you sent the message, which by the way is hopelessly needy.

Is it needy? I'm asking how her day was and if she been somewhere.. what should I have asked/said instead?

[Videl]

(09-30-2013 06:22 PM)Ensam Wrote:  



Don't mess around with facebook. Just call her.

We both don't have phone numbers since we are aboad.

[Tuthmosis]

   

[Videl]

Haha that is funny but seriously, I need some serious help. When I talked to her the other day I could see she from her eyes she wanted me, now I have her and facebook and I don't want to fk this up.

[Videl]

Fuck, now that I have seen that picture with beta guy holding beta message I feel so embarrassed. I lost all motivation to talk to her now since she will see my message if I do. I don't know what I should have written instead. :/

[Windom Earle]

So you guys writing off the OP have never asked a girl how her day was?

How about some constructive feedback – some examples of what type of message you would’ve sent, that rises to ‘Alpha’ status. After all, this is the Newbie forum is it not?

As the OP said, this chick was interested. Seemed to me like he was asking a relatively simple, neutral (if not grammatically incorrect) question, which surely would create some impetus for further threads to spring from.

Ok, granted, he probably could’ve drawn from an earlier interaction, to make it more personal/interesting and get her juices flowing, but an opening message/text need not always be like that.

IDK, just seems ridiculous to put such emphasis into a harmless message (to his overall chances), which it no doubt is. The chick isn’t going to think (when/if she reads it), oh, this guy is actually lame for asking me this – unless she’s an utter bitch.

[polymath]

There's nothing wrong with your message. But don't message her again until either A) some time passes, B) she messages you back first, or C) you are inviting her to do something specific with you. And if she doesn't reply, that just tells you to give the situation some time (more than you want, unfortunately) before re-attempting to talk to her.

Don't take the people on this forum so seriously. Without having met them, you don't have any way of knowing if their advice, mine included, is based on real experiences. It could be the best advice ever. Or, it could just be made up by some do-nothing who thinks that acting like a player on a forum makes him cool. But generally if someone is making you feel like shit about your life situation without offering any meaningful path to improvement, he's not trying to help you. Not calling anyone out, just saying you should view things with a critical eye.

I hope she sees your message and gets back to you. Good luck.

[polymath]

dupe

[bojangles]

don't message her again and when she replies don't message her instantly back and also change the subject and invite her to do something with you.

[Videl]

Actually my initial comment I wanted to post was this: "hey, I forgot something to say, because you had sunglasses on the boat I didn't notice how beautiful your eyes are, lets have dinner sometime this week"

[Videl]

(10-01-2013 12:03 AM)polymath Wrote:  

There's nothing wrong with your message. But don't message her again until either A) some time passes, B) she messages you back first, or C) you are inviting her to do something specific with you. And if she doesn't reply, that just tells you to give the situation some time (more than you want, unfortunately) before re-attempting to talk to her.

Don't take the people on this forum so seriously. Without having met them, you don't have any way of knowing if their advice, mine included, is based on real experiences. It could be the best advice ever. Or, it could just be made up by some do-nothing who thinks that acting like a player on a forum makes him cool. But generally if someone is making you feel like shit about your life situation without offering any meaningful path to improvement, he's not trying to help you. Not calling anyone out, just saying you should view things with a critical eye.

I hope she sees your message and gets back to you. Good luck.

Hey, thanks, I really needed that. I was selfconcious because even the admin made fun of me. Any way, I think I won't message her until something else comes up and actually I have met an other girl today who have my priorities.

I just asked how she was doing. Could the people who said I acted beta explain their position?

[AneroidOcean]

You asked for some ANALysis, here's mine. Keep in mind that I think the message isn't the worst by itself, but many people may be reading your post and that coupled with the message is REALLY beta. I'll break down why here:

(09-30-2013 06:16 PM)Videl Wrote:  

I sent a message to a girl. It was today afternoon. I know she is online but for some reason she hasn't seen my message. When somebody sees the message you send it says something like "message seen at time x"

If I understand correctly, you messaged her in the afternoon and you are posting here the same night and asking if you should message her tomorrow. If you messaged a guy acquaintance (who you wanted to hang out with) or your aunt or a business associate, would you REALLY expect a response back on that fast of a timeline? No. That's ridiculous and it is insecure. Even without knowing your life, you've GOT to have better things to do with your time than be checking back the same night for a message.

(09-30-2013 06:16 PM)Videl Wrote:  

Now my question is, is it possible she seen my message and just ignored it, or did she just miss my message in the chaos of facebook? I know her for few days and she seemed very interested, always smiling to me, pasionate eye contact, staring deep into my eyes when I talked to her and always asking/checking how I was doing.

You may have lost her. If a girl shows obvious interest over the course of a few days in a high activity environment like university and you don't make a move, it's likely she'll lose interest or be pursued by someone else.

(09-30-2013 06:16 PM)Videl Wrote:  

I pretty sure she just oversaw my message because if she saw my message it would say "message seen on x".. It is night at my place. Tomorrow I want to message her again. At what time and what should I say?

The facebook message I sent to her was. "Hey Ania, how was your day? You have been to uni today? : )"

She either saw your message and didn't read it, or she has her Facebook open and is chatting but hasn't read all of her messages. It's easy for this to happen. Don't message her again, like others have said. Do you have an opportunity to run into her on campus? See if you can run into her and flirt with her, ESCALATE into some kind of date.

You sound like a beta orbiter just waiting to appease her. A great rule of thumb is statement statement question. You asked two questions and put in a smiley face. That's NOT going to pique her interest. Keep it short and SET UP a time/place to hang out. Are you an interesting/confident guy or are you the dork at the grocery store who asks her generic questions like in your message when she is trying to buy groceries from you? Act accordingly.

All is not lost, but it will be if she's still interested and you talk to her like that over Facebook and are conflicted about when to message her next when by your own admission, she hasn't even read your first message yet!

Good luck.

[coolkid]

Quit putting her on a pedestal. Not as easy as it seems, but you need to stop viewing women as potential wives and start viewing them from an emotionless, super-realistic, psychopathic point of view (ie as sex partners with the emotional maturity of 4 year olds). One-itis is is what happens when you have not been having sex. Get some punani and then worry.

[Videl]

(10-01-2013 01:54 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

She either saw your message and didn't read it, or she has her Facebook open and is chatting but hasn't read all of her messages. It's easy for this to happen. Don't message her again, like others have said. Do you have an opportunity to run into her on campus? See if you can run into her and flirt with her, ESCALATE into some kind of date.

No, she doesn't stay in a campus, neither me. Plus there is no chance of me running into her since her faculity is different. Any way, I won't message her since I have some other girl on sights.

Quote:

You sound like a beta orbiter just waiting to appease her. A great rule of thumb is statement statement question. You asked two questions and put in a smiley face. That's NOT going to pique her interest. Keep it short and SET UP a time/place to hang out. Are you an interesting/confident guy or are you the dork at the grocery store who asks her generic questions like in your message when she is trying to buy groceries from you? Act accordingly.

Is asking two questions being a beta orbiter? Don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to understand. How can I put those two questions in statement format?

Quote:

All is not lost, but it will be if she's still interested and you talk to her like that over Facebook and are conflicted about when to message her next when by your own admission, she hasn't even read your first message yet!

Good luck.

I didn't know asking questions like that would be beta behavior. I'm really confused how to communicate of facebook now. I prefer to use statements of questions too.. but that is not always possible. I was going to ask how she was doing and then switch over to statements. Could you guys give me example of a good facebook conversation?

[AneroidOcean]

(10-01-2013 10:58 PM)Videl Wrote:  

Is asking two questions being a beta orbiter? Don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to understand. How can I put those two questions in statement format?

Asking two BORING questions is beta, yes. Think about this. Who asks how you're doing when they see you? People who don't know you. Maybe your family, maybe acquaintances or neighbors. Are any of those people interested in dating you? When they ask, does it make you likely to REALLY be engaged in the conversation you're having with them? Unlikely.

You don't need two questions. How about:
"Hey Ania, I enjoyed our chat. Let's grab some drinks. Are you free Wednesday or Thursday night?"

(10-01-2013 10:58 PM)Videl Wrote:  

I didn't know asking questions like that would be beta behavior. I'm really confused how to communicate of facebook now. I prefer to use statements of questions too.. but that is not always possible. I was going to ask how she was doing and then switch over to statements. Could you guys give me example of a good facebook conversation?

You don't ask how they're doing and THEN switch over to statements. Make statements up front. Which is easier to make, a statement or a question? A non-offensive statement beats a non-offensive question any day of the week..

[XXL]

She read it and understood it. But keep in mind that she might get a lot of this kind of messages so your message might have been lost in the crowd. You just never know.

Another thing is that the only thing that matters is the relationship you have with her. If she's into you she will respond to anything, even simple "hi". I'm guessing that now she's not that open to you yet. The only goal now is to see her again to make her attracted and comfortable with you.

As for facebook, don't bother with smart ass tricks to game her. Facebook works great with friendly/social circle parties and hang outs. That's how social circle hook ups happen. Friends/acquaintances add each other up on fb, set up parties, get drunk, get carried away and dicks come out. Then they add more people and feel familiar with each other which leads to more parties and more action. But if you want to meet with her one on one then use your phone like > THAT <

Good facebook conversation is normal chit chat mixed with some flirting just like you talk to your friends. My typical fb convo "hey.. hi.. you look bored... i lost yesterday again it's your fault.. you owe me some money.. next time were hanging out you pay for everything.. what's my favorite flavor? say it!!.. good girl.. i like your latest picture that black and white, looks really good.. do you know that we're going out this week? we do.. my cousin moved to new house.. we're having house party, let's get fucked up.. ok Thursday is tomorrow, start dressing up.."

[Sargon of Akkad]

You know what you could do while you spend all this time online pondering on about whether this one girl read your message or not (hint: who cares)? Look elsewhere!

You wanna know about girls showing interest but not answering messages or flaking later? Come to Japan.

Here's a bit of advice: Girls flake. Get usd to it.

This happens all the time. Sometimes they show interest and lose it later. They may not have been interested in the first place (and no, I don't care how much she smiled at you and laughed at your jokes). Sometimes they don't respond to messages, sometimes they say they'll meet you somewhere but flake last minute. There is no why, how or when. Most of the time there is no logic or pattern behind it whatsoever. It just happens. Get over it and move on until she responds, if at all.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Are you friends with her on FB or did you find her on there and send the message? Because if you're not already friends, chances are FB dropped your message into her "other" folder...or dropped her reply back to you into your "other" folder.

When you click on messages, there is another folder called other -- click on it and see what's in it. FB does this and charges you $1 to guarantee your message won't get dumped into that folder. Check it regularly.

That said, try to absorb the advice on here. FB game is by default beta game. The way FB works is that women play the Queen Attention Whore and men play the court jesters or fools, hoping for scraps of attention.

Technology often shapes social dynamics. I'm convinced that teen sex exploded in the '50s when they introduced private phones in teenagers' rooms (a new thing then). The power dynamic was in favor of men then, because men can easily seduce over the phone, one-on-one with just their voice.

But in an "open setting," like a high school cafeteria, it's not so easy. Facebook, sad to say, is a digital recreation of the high school lunch room. It's hard to get a woman's rapt attention when you've got other kids screaming and acting like idiots. Figure a way to isolate her a bit in person or get to know her in a real group setting. FB works best after you've established rapport, not while you're trying to.