So I went to my college's homecoming was recent and we had a concert. My roommate and I ended up each grinding with freshman varsity athletes whom were there together. They seemed very into it and everything. Afterward we all went to the locker rooms to freshen up (concert was in the gym). My roommate invited them back to drink wine at our place and everything was going well on the way there. We all shared our majors, where we are from, what we did over the summer, etc. Until we got to the steps of our building. They then got hesitant and looked a little awkward while saying they didn't want to drink because they are obligated to be dry while in season. We said no worries we can all just hangout, possibly watch a movie, but they declined and said they were going to go back to their dorms. We offered to walk them back but they said they insisted it was fine since they lived less than a block from our apartment. Neither of us went for numbers unfortunately. I knew my roommate wouldn't because he is against relationships or anything with freshman because of that I wasn't going to, figuring it was odd if just one of us asks. Any tips on things we/I could have/should have done differently and if you all thing it is salvageable?
Concert game critique/is it salvageable?
They're freshmen. They're inexperienced. You couldn't have saved the situation even if you paid them to just come in. Forget about them and move on.
Probably triggered ASD at some point there. The public grinding and then 'go back to our place' is a clear indicator for sex, and they were probably concerned about looking slutty in front of each other. You probably could have tamped down the sexual expectations a bit at some point - 'whoa hey that was fun, I never go and grind on girls like that, I'm not really like that' - and got them to plausibly believe that they wouldn't necessarily be hard escalated once you guys got them behind close doors.
Read Tuthmosis' First Date Bang Recipe and take a look at how he restricts kissing/makeouts while actually on the date. That gives a girl plausible deniability that actual escalation will happen, and if it does, it's only going to be to a certain point. Then, whoops, clothes come off and how did that happen but it was great.
You probably needed a bit of isolation to work the numbers deal as well.
The negotiation after the fact probably tipped your hand that you were actively seeking the hookup.
Just be chill to the girls next time you see them, don't apologize or talk about it much after the fact, and in the meantime stay gaming.
Read Tuthmosis' First Date Bang Recipe and take a look at how he restricts kissing/makeouts while actually on the date. That gives a girl plausible deniability that actual escalation will happen, and if it does, it's only going to be to a certain point. Then, whoops, clothes come off and how did that happen but it was great.
You probably needed a bit of isolation to work the numbers deal as well.
The negotiation after the fact probably tipped your hand that you were actively seeking the hookup.
Just be chill to the girls next time you see them, don't apologize or talk about it much after the fact, and in the meantime stay gaming.
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Quote: (09-29-2013 05:50 PM)aphelion Wrote:
Probably triggered ASD at some point there. The public grinding and then 'go back to our place' is a clear indicator for sex, and they were probably concerned about looking slutty in front of each other. You probably could have tamped down the sexual expectations a bit at some point - 'whoa hey that was fun, I never go and grind on girls like that, I'm not really like that' - and got them to plausibly believe that they wouldn't necessarily be hard escalated once you guys got them behind close doors.
Read Tuthmosis' First Date Bang Recipe and take a look at how he restricts kissing/makeouts while actually on the date. That gives a girl plausible deniability that actual escalation will happen, and if it does, it's only going to be to a certain point. Then, whoops, clothes come off and how did that happen but it was great.
You probably needed a bit of isolation to work the numbers deal as well.
The negotiation after the fact probably tipped your hand that you were actively seeking the hookup.
Just be chill to the girls next time you see them, don't apologize or talk about it much after the fact, and in the meantime stay gaming.
Very good thought on the ASD. I had thought that was probably it myself.
Funny thing is we were drinking wine and chilling after before we even picked them up. Not like though knew/would believe that though. Oh and to clarify, we didn't know them before the concert. Ended up next to them and chatted bnefor, during the opener, and the set change. Then when the main band started just initiated dancing with them. Asking before the dancing in this situation would have likely been seen as creepy.
I'll definitely lookup/read that.
My roommate said he is going to apologize to the girl he had danced with (potentially both of them if they are together since they are friends and teammates) about not thinking through that they should be dry while in season and give them his number saying to contact him if they ever want to go to another concert (they don't have a car, we both do) or hang out. He is more likely to see them since he is varsity track and is around the same parts of the gym when they probably are. I'm not sure if I agree with him on the apology or not.
Also to be completely honest I thought mine was interesting enough to potentially seek a LTR with her depending how further encounters went. I haven't been in an LTR for 2 years now and something consistent currently sounds nice.
No!!! He means these particular youngsters got freaked out because of inexperience. Keep going after freshman.
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