[dasher]

RE: Vitamin D.

I asked my GP about his thoughts on Vitamin D supplementation when I last saw him a few weeks ago, he said that where we live (South Queensland, Australia) people don't need to take it unless you're a shutin, but he offered to get me a blood test done.

I didn't tell him that I take 5000 UI of D3 daily and just went along with it.

When the results came back, I was at 125 nmol/L, with the 'healthy' range for it being 50-150 nmol/L.

So it's exceedingly hard to take 'too much' D3.

[greensteelhead]

I read this thread in bed and got out of it because it got me riled up. Your shitty sleep is linked to all kinds of issues, and a lot of it is stemming from your unhappiness and stress from your current position. You need to change, my friend, and the sleep will take care of yourself. The sluggishness, the depression, the paranoia and the lack of energy are linked to this. Manny, I have a couple suggestions for you:

1) Getting Fired.

This statement pissed me off:
"I exaggerated the dates I worked at a previous job and they are asking for proof of the dates I worked. I might be toast there, not a lot I can do. I'm doing fine as far as work performance goes, but they take their background checks seriously (it's a bank)."

First things first: I am a manager and have hired and fired people. For the love of God: don't lie on your resume or embellish. This stuff can be tracked and vetted, and "your sin will find you out." Now, HR can only ask a previous employer about dates of previous employment and if the previous employer would hire them again. Beyond that, the HR person should not be asking anything else and expect an answer. For job seekers, my advice is always: be interesting (have hobbies or volunteer) and try to show as much experience as you can and still be honest about it. In the interview, be positive, be upbeat, smile and HAVE PASSION.

Second thing: the fucking bank HIRED you already. Let that sink in for a minute. What kind of a bank took the time to do the bring you in and start training you if you lied that badly on the application/resume? Now, you are saying they want to do more checking after the fact? Fuck them. You have nothing more to answer for. They screwed the pooch by not vetting you in the first place, so they can piss off. Always remember: they have made an investment in you already (training on systems and procedures), and it is a pain in the ass to fire someone and rehire, especially since you have been working hard and doing what has been asked.

Keep your nose clean and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not tell coworkers or your boss or HR about the embellishment. Work hard and do what you need to do. Suzie McFuckOff in HR can kiss your ass for being sloppy and not doing her job the first time. Be positive. Do your work. Get the fuck out.

2) Screw the Commute. It is a Bank.
I commuted this far twice in my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, and let me tell you: both times I felt like you did every day (exhausted, paranoid that I would be fired). Both jobs ended after 2 years of shit and after I added a good 10-15 pounds of fat.

It isn't worth it, and it isn't worth the dread of going every day. Fuck, dude, isn't there a bank on every corner and in every strip mall? Use your brain and the internet to start looking for closer opportunities UNLESS this one is so great and paying you so well. Step up and make it happen, especially if HR is breathing down your neck.

3) Hobbies, reading and gym time are worth it.
I gave up a lot of my life in my 30's making cash to pay for a house, car and things that I could not afford. I worked a hell of a lot of hours for clients and neglected my personal development and some family development. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Spend time on developing yourself. The job is the job and will be there tomorrow. DO NOT GET FAT. That will lead to a host of health issues and will make the depression increase. Start reading, start doing something with that spare time (garden, fish, swim, bikes, kayak, hike....something), and exercise. That will burn some of that stress and energy.

4) Find something you love doing.
I highly recommend Dan Miller's "48 Days to the Work You Love" (http://www.48days.com/). I was stuck in a shitty job in a shitty market and, in my case, the VP and his henchman were closing the noose on my neck. I stayed positive and worked hard, and I also worked through Dan Miller's program. I did a lot of introspection, and I thought about what I REALLY wanted to do. Then I started actively looking for that opportunity, and I got it. I am working my dream job, working on my personal hobbies (crushing those personal goals I set for myself this year), and now am launching into getting rid of 10 years of fat from drinking and shitty eating.


The bottom line, Manny, is that I have lived your life for 10 years of mine. I walked like a zombie through most of it or was paranoid through The Crash of 2009 and through horrible corporate shit after The Crash. Do not just sit there and take it. Do not sit there in a zombie trance and watch football while you drink, stuff your face with chips and pizza while you drool.

Get moving and get living. Sleep will take care of itself with changes to the rest of your life. You are an Alpha Male, Red Pill believer. Better get busy living or better get busy dying. The choice is yours.

[Hades]

After years of having it, I sort of believe that insomnia can be caused by unresolved issues. Part of your brain decides to never shut off and continuously try to solve that problem, which might even show itself in dreams.

It doesn't matter if there is or isn't something that you're telling us here (your job+commute sounds like it blows ass) this is just something to consider.

[Manny09]

(09-29-2013 09:34 PM)CJ_W Wrote:  

yeah Caffeine really is a killer, I had two jobs in College for a couple of years, and pretty much got 5-6 hours of sleep because of work and school, I would drink those monster energy drinks. . .it fucked me up so bad that I pretty much made myself allergic to caffeine now. Coffee/Cafeeine is a big factor in making you feel stressed and messing up your sleep, like seriously the properties of cafeeine interfere with sleep 10000% Personally it should be a banned substance.

Also, don't worry about losing your job, you are just out of college, ignore what other people think, you have your whole life ahead of you. just by having a job youre better off than a lot of people your age.

I appreciate the kind words man.

[Manny09]

(09-30-2013 02:22 AM)Hades Wrote:  

After years of having it, I sort of believe that insomnia can be caused by unresolved issues. Part of your brain decides to never shut off and continuously try to solve that problem, which might even show itself in dreams.

It doesn't matter if there is or isn't something that you're telling us here (your job+commute sounds like it blows ass) this is just something to consider.

Well, I felt like I had a lot riding on this job, but I may have been failing to put things into perspective. I'm going to hate it if I get fired though, the people there are awesome and my next job may have a shitty environment.

[Manny09]

(09-29-2013 11:09 PM)greensteelhead Wrote:  

I read this thread in bed and got out of it because it got me riled up. Your shitty sleep is linked to all kinds of issues, and a lot of it is stemming from your unhappiness and stress from your current position. You need to change, my friend, and the sleep will take care of yourself. The sluggishness, the depression, the paranoia and the lack of energy are linked to this. Manny, I have a couple suggestions for you:

1) Getting Fired.

This statement pissed me off:
"I exaggerated the dates I worked at a previous job and they are asking for proof of the dates I worked. I might be toast there, not a lot I can do. I'm doing fine as far as work performance goes, but they take their background checks seriously (it's a bank)."

First things first: I am a manager and have hired and fired people. For the love of God: don't lie on your resume or embellish. This stuff can be tracked and vetted, and "your sin will find you out." Now, HR can only ask a previous employer about dates of previous employment and if the previous employer would hire them again. Beyond that, the HR person should not be asking anything else and expect an answer. For job seekers, my advice is always: be interesting (have hobbies or volunteer) and try to show as much experience as you can and still be honest about it. In the interview, be positive, be upbeat, smile and HAVE PASSION.

Second thing: the fucking bank HIRED you already. Let that sink in for a minute. What kind of a bank took the time to do the bring you in and start training you if you lied that badly on the application/resume? Now, you are saying they want to do more checking after the fact? Fuck them. You have nothing more to answer for. They screwed the pooch by not vetting you in the first place, so they can piss off. Always remember: they have made an investment in you already (training on systems and procedures), and it is a pain in the ass to fire someone and rehire, especially since you have been working hard and doing what has been asked.

Keep your nose clean and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not tell coworkers or your boss or HR about the embellishment. Work hard and do what you need to do. Suzie McFuckOff in HR can kiss your ass for being sloppy and not doing her job the first time. Be positive. Do your work. Get the fuck out.

2) Screw the Commute. It is a Bank.
I commuted this far twice in my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, and let me tell you: both times I felt like you did every day (exhausted, paranoid that I would be fired). Both jobs ended after 2 years of shit and after I added a good 10-15 pounds of fat.

It isn't worth it, and it isn't worth the dread of going every day. Fuck, dude, isn't there a bank on every corner and in every strip mall? Use your brain and the internet to start looking for closer opportunities UNLESS this one is so great and paying you so well. Step up and make it happen, especially if HR is breathing down your neck.

3) Hobbies, reading and gym time are worth it.
I gave up a lot of my life in my 30's making cash to pay for a house, car and things that I could not afford. I worked a hell of a lot of hours for clients and neglected my personal development and some family development. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Spend time on developing yourself. The job is the job and will be there tomorrow. DO NOT GET FAT. That will lead to a host of health issues and will make the depression increase. Start reading, start doing something with that spare time (garden, fish, swim, bikes, kayak, hike....something), and exercise. That will burn some of that stress and energy.

4) Find something you love doing.
I highly recommend Dan Miller's "48 Days to the Work You Love" (http://www.48days.com/). I was stuck in a shitty job in a shitty market and, in my case, the VP and his henchman were closing the noose on my neck. I stayed positive and worked hard, and I also worked through Dan Miller's program. I did a lot of introspection, and I thought about what I REALLY wanted to do. Then I started actively looking for that opportunity, and I got it. I am working my dream job, working on my personal hobbies (crushing those personal goals I set for myself this year), and now am launching into getting rid of 10 years of fat from drinking and shitty eating.


The bottom line, Manny, is that I have lived your life for 10 years of mine. I walked like a zombie through most of it or was paranoid through The Crash of 2009 and through horrible corporate shit after The Crash. Do not just sit there and take it. Do not sit there in a zombie trance and watch football while you drink, stuff your face with chips and pizza while you drool.

Get moving and get living. Sleep will take care of itself with changes to the rest of your life. You are an Alpha Male, Red Pill believer. Better get busy living or better get busy dying. The choice is yours.

Thank you for this response. I appreciate you taking the time.

Believe me man, I will NEVER put myself in this kind of position again. It's not worth it to have a slightly more impressive resume. I honestly think I would have gotten the job without that embellishment. Hopefully they will keep me since as you said they've invested a lot. But more than anything, I'd really like some closure.

Unfortunately I can't switch locations, it's at the bank's brokerage so I have to be in that building. I may have to tough that one out for a few months before I can move onto something else.

I totally feel you on the hobbies thing. That's one of the big things that's killing me. I am too tired to read, and don't have enough time to hit the gym. I'm kind of afraid that I won't be able to really develop hobbies, or even try some side hustles or anything. I'm going to have to get licensed to sell securities, options and the like, and if I want to move to the area of the bank I really want to work in I'll eventually have to start working on getting my CFA. All of that studying in addition to working full time means that if I want to go full on into this career path, I pretty much better give up any serious endeavours elsewhere-- I won't have time or energy. And yeah, the people who have been working here for many years are not in great shape.

I'm going to check out the Dan Miller book, or at least something similar that I can work on. Thanks for that. I've got a lot of thinking to do over the next few weeks.

[Hades]

(09-30-2013 07:10 PM)Manny09 Wrote:  

(09-30-2013 02:22 AM)Hades Wrote:  

After years of having it, I sort of believe that insomnia can be caused by unresolved issues. Part of your brain decides to never shut off and continuously try to solve that problem, which might even show itself in dreams.

It doesn't matter if there is or isn't something that you're telling us here (your job+commute sounds like it blows ass) this is just something to consider.

Well, I felt like I had a lot riding on this job, but I may have been failing to put things into perspective. I'm going to hate it if I get fired though, the people there are awesome and my next job may have a shitty environment.

Well Manny, if your coworkers are really that cool, you should ask around nicely and see if you can stay at the home of a friendly coworker during the week, then drive home on the weekends. You could pay some sort of cash rent if it is an issue. Just the money you save in gas will be worth it, IMO.
All you really need to survive during a week is a small crockpot (make chicken stews and drink beer for dinner IMO), a sleeping bag, a duffel with non-shitty clothes, and a kindle. You can kick in money for groceries and try to be as inoffensive as possible, and even offer to help clean the house. Really, that sounds like a good option to me.

Shit, you could put up an ad on craigslist - "NEED PLACE TO STAY IN X-CITY FROM MONDAY TO THURSDAY NIGHT, OFFERING TO PAY X, WILLING TO DO HOUSEHOLD CHORES : DUE TO LONG COMMUTE, ETC."

I don't know who can take care of your house or apartment but you could sublease it or ask a relative to stick around and keep burglars out of it.

When I used to work serious construction jobs 3-4 hours away, I would call up every relative I had within half an hour of the site and offer to mow their lawns, help clean out their toolsheds, etc, for the offer of a shower and a couch to crash on for the four or five days it took to finish the job. I saved a ton of money not having to commute.

Bachelors are usually more cool with this than married folk. Just make a lot of common ground with a cool guy and see if they have a spare room or whatever.