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Damage control when approaching in friend groups
#1

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

So yesterday I was hanging out at friend's place. There were tons of people. I did some approaches to socialize since I don't know any of the girls. I didn't make any escalation moves to the girls I talked to since I didn't like them enough.

There was one girl though that I did like she was solid 8.8. She was giving me eye contact couple of times. I still didn't approach her since I was busy with other girls. Then we changed venue to a bar. After couple of hours in the bar, her friend (of the hot girl) tapped me on my shoulder, they asked where I was from and they couldn't figure out by themselves. I told them they should have a guess. Finally I give the answer. Then I ask where they are from and introduce myself. After that I just try to socialize with them but they only give one word answers and the hot girl was looking away when I was talking. Does this mean she didn't like my talking? Or is shy? I guess my main question is (because this happened before) If a girl gives one word answers and makes very brief eye contact looks away all the time, a sign of she is not interested? What would you guys have done here?

After she giving short answers I was kinda discouraged. I don't have good experience taking off a conversation all by myself. At the end you need two to tango. Maybe real "players" would have tried something fancy but I'm quite new to gaming. I don't understand why she was giving me eyecontact all evening,even wondering where I was from, and then when I approach she gives one word answers,acts cold and looks away.

In summary I have these questions:
1. When you approach and she gives one word answers, very brief eye contact and looks away often mean you should brake of the approach?
2. When my approach kinda failed, I said I need to go to the bathroom as an excuse to walk away and sit with my friends, is there better way to brake off approach?
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#2

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

1. it might mean a lot of things. maybe she's shy or maybe she's a bitch. you either try different angles to get her attention or ignore her and talk to her friends so that she can see more of your personality.

2. say "ok i see you're not really not enjoying this, i'll give you some time to get talkative, see you later" and you leave.

PS. you don't need two to tango, especially in the beginning of the interaction. learn to be talkative without feedback and just flow flow flow until something sticks. at the same time empathize with her a lot, say stuff like "are you shy? it's ok we're all a little bit shy" or "i can see you're not really open to conversation, that's fine, you can join whenever you want to" and you talk to her friends.

pretty much common sense right? you don't need anything fancy. TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE THEY'RE HUMANS. you'll get much farther doing it than trying some "field tested" trick that's suppose to rescue you. it's not that complicated. i suppose right now you have this big "seduction" idea in mind and think of it like some kind of complicated game of chess and try to figure out the proper moves. get over it. just talk to people. flirt with girls. build connection. add some touch. make it comfortable. stick to the girl until you're alone with her. escalate then. make sweet love [Image: amuse.gif]
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#3

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

Quote: (09-22-2013 05:22 AM)XXL Wrote:  

1. it might mean a lot of things. maybe she's shy or maybe she's a bitch. you either try different angles to get her attention or ignore her and talk to her friends so that she can see more of your personality.

2. say "ok i see you're not really not enjoying this, i'll give you some time to get talkative, see you later" and you leave.

PS. you don't need two to tango, especially in the beginning of the interaction. learn to be talkative without feedback and just flow flow flow until something sticks. at the same time empathize with her a lot, say stuff like "are you shy? it's ok we're all a little bit shy" or "i can see you're not really open to conversation, that's fine, you can join whenever you want to" and you talk to her friends.

pretty much common sense right? you don't need anything fancy. TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE THEY'RE HUMANS. you'll get much farther doing it than trying some "field tested" trick that's suppose to rescue you. it's not that complicated. i suppose right now you have this big "seduction" idea in mind and think of it like some kind of complicated game of chess and try to figure out the proper moves. get over it. just talk to people. flirt with girls. build connection. add some touch. make it comfortable. stick to the girl until you're alone with her. escalate then. make sweet love [Image: amuse.gif]
You are right that I could just talk and talk without asking for feedback but I'm not really good at that. Could you provide some tips how to do that and maybe an example?

I actually don't put girls on pedestals, if she likes me she likes me, if don't she don't. I actually made a lot of progress in terms of just social talk. Being just friends with girls. After you have established base they will let you know if they want to take it further with signs girls give.

My problem, or the issue I'm working in terms of self-development is talking to girls who are hard to talk to or don't open right away. I actually made one succesful case with this last night. I talked to this girl, she was not receptive but she was listening and giving feedback. Then I talked to her friend, then she learnt where I was from and suddenly she opened and we had a very long conversation but most of the times I still have trouble getting off a plane of the air by myself. I usually brake eyecontact to think what I'm going to say. I'm not clear what I say sometimes and I fail leading the conversation sometimes but with the last thing I'm getting better. I think when I talk i need to bring down the level of the conversation because I noticed that I purely talk factual instead of emotional base like most girls do.
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#4

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

click my signature link to read about how to talk forever.


Quote: (09-22-2013 09:59 AM)Videl Wrote:  

I actually made one succesful case with this last night. I talked to this girl, she was not receptive but she was listening and giving feedback. Then I talked to her friend, then she learnt where I was from and suddenly she opened and we had a very long conversation but most of the times I still have trouble getting off a plane of the air by myself.
perfect. that's exactly how it works. you just go in and talk random shit in first 1-2 minutes until something sticks and it becomes 50/50.

at first there is no context between you so going in feels like the floor is taken away from your feet and you're falling down trying to give her random threads to grab just one. cause she needs something familiar to talk back. then at one point it hooks and then the convo becomes 50/50.
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#5

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

Quote: (09-22-2013 11:54 AM)XXL Wrote:  

click my signature link to read about how to talk forever.


Quote: (09-22-2013 09:59 AM)Videl Wrote:  

I actually made one succesful case with this last night. I talked to this girl, she was not receptive but she was listening and giving feedback. Then I talked to her friend, then she learnt where I was from and suddenly she opened and we had a very long conversation but most of the times I still have trouble getting off a plane of the air by myself.
perfect. that's exactly how it works. you just go in and talk random shit in first 1-2 minutes until something sticks and it becomes 50/50.

at first there is no context between you so going in feels like the floor is taken away from your feet and you're falling down trying to give her random threads to grab just one. cause she needs something familiar to talk back. then at one point it hooks and then the convo becomes 50/50.
bUT how do you start talking about random shit? I always use this. I first ask a question like what do you study? She gives an answer and then without her asking I start talking about what I study. Something like this? By the way I will read your article [Image: smile.gif]
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#6

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

you: what do you study?
her: marketing
you: oh shit you're one of those
her: who?!
you: you know, THOSE, who make stupid shit look way better that it should... last night i saw this ad about this shitty xyz product, it looked cool but it made no sense... kind of like the last music video of xyz artist, have you seen it? i mean fuck the director must have been so high haha... damn i miss smoking weed on the beach in the warm afternoon with my crew, i heard the the most ridiculous stories chilling on the beach like that... i remember this one dude talking total shit about how birds would look funny if they were flying upside down... motherfucker was speaking for 15 minutes straight about that... butit was too funny to stop him... girls didn't know whether he was that high or that crazy... fucking david haha... my mom once told me i was meant to be named david but in the end after big ass debate with my grandparents it ended up with [your name]... do you know what the origin of this name? i hate it but i heard that....

ok fuck it [Image: amuse.gif] i can go on like that forever. that's how it looks like. of course let her contribute if she does. but if she does not you can flow like that until something sticks. look how many threads are in this piece above. when you switch topics you give her so many threads that something has to hook.

and then you know every sentence has some threads in it that you can use to expand on. she says "marketing". then in your head appear images / memories / thoughts / jokes / etc relevant to marketing so you pick one thing depending on where you want to take that conversation at the time and say it.

believe me, if you can talk to anyone for endless amount of time your game will become really fucking good.
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#7

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

Thanks. That was helpful. I just have to talk until something sticks. But I have another problem. At one point I have to ask her number/or ask her for a date. How can I do this the most convient way, it is not always possible to ask her number in the middle of casual conversation. I know the generic "hey you seem to be fun, do you want to hang out/what is your number?".. but that line cannot always be used. For example if you are meeting up with friends and at the end everybody is going home, it is akward to ask her in front of everybody.
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#8

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

as for taking number try this: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27...#pid530121

basically the whole point is 1) to find out indirectly if she even wants to see you again before taking her number and 2) to meet with her again when she's free and has no duties [if she doesn't know yet then it's good to tell her you will call her next day to figure out free day so that she has time to check her schedule]. try to avoid collecting pointless numbers. if you want to take girl's number means you just want to see her again. so tell her that first. ideally when you already let her know you like her for reasons beyond her looks. see how she reacts. eyes never lie.

it doesn't have to be long interaction. i met a girl rushing through university today. to my surprise she's a math student. i praised her for being surprisingly cute for being such a analytical smart ass. i shared my secret that i've always sucked at it and took endless math additional lessons. chit chat. i asked about her frer time this week. chit chat. we agreed i'd pick her up on thursday after her classes at X time on Y street. and then we finally exchange numbers. around 10 minutes interaction.
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#9

Damage control when approaching in friend groups

What you did right
- You were entertaining other girls. Girls like to see this, makes you attractive
- You didn't just cough up an answer, you made them interact with you, made them work for it. Again, builds attraction and builds compliance.

Kudos!

What needed work
- you didn't approach the one giving you the eye sooner. Had you done so, you wouldn't have had to deal with a 2 set. 2 sets require you to engage both of them.

There are plenty of gambits here

1) how do you know each other,
- I bet your sisters,
- cousins,
- co-workers,
- lesbian lovers who happen to be strippers - lemme guess the cute one is the submissive one....

2) let's play a game, fuck marry kill

3) Obstacle, describe the target. Target, Describe the obstacle. (or vice versa)

4) play them off of each other, let them team up and see if they can beat you

But in all cases, you need both talking to you.

And as they talk, you're going to be getting information that's gonna percolate in your game brain that's going to give you signals about where to take the conversation.

If they're within you're extended social circle, you'll get another chance.

WIA
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