[Videl]

I was in a pub watching a soccer match. There were girls there too. There was one hot skinny blonde probably from Czech.

We had probably eye contact 3-4 times. Later that hour, I sat next to my friend who was sitting at the same table as hers. I tried to start an innocent conversation with this opener. "Do you like soccer?"

She answered with " normally I don't watch soccer blabla... "Then I said:"Where I come from girls don't watch soccer, but I think the girls here in this pub watch is as a social thing, not that they enjoy watching it"

When I said this, she didn't know how to respond to this ball. So I continued talking about football and girls until a point where I got stuck and said "I don't know" and the conversation stranded there.

Luckily a friend asked me to hand him his jacket so I had to get up. When I returned to the table she leaned in to talk but I acted like she didn't exist after my conversational disaster. Probably my mistake is that I didn't lead the conversation? I sticked to the topic of soccer and girls. Where should I have lead the conversation?

[reino341]

(09-18-2013 01:50 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Where should I have lead the conversation?

Personal topics.

[XXL]

You could have lead that conversation in whatever direction you wanted.

You don't have to shoot for smooth transition from one topic to another. Think of how you talk with friends. Some thing pops up in your head and you simply say that cutting the existing thread. It's random. Same here. You talked about soccer. Then you could have snipped it to comment on somethign about her completely out of the blue like "you know what.. you got the same eyes that my first love had in 3rd grade, that's cute... ". If she bites it then expand on that. If not then "anyway.. lately i heard this song blablabla.. ".

As long as you lead it doesn't matter where it goes. It's not linear. You just kill time by talking shit until the girl is comfortable enough to be pulled. That's all.

[MrXY]

^^This. Girls aren't logical like men, they are emotional. If you jump from one topic to something unrelated but interesting, ask her how she feels about something, tell her some good little stories, she will think you are a great conversationalist

[Videl]

So I shouldn't have sticked to the topic of soccer that much? I thought you needed to talk about the opener atleast for 3-4 minutes. I guess that was my mistake. After asking "do you like soccer?" I should have said "I watch it sometimes" and then jump to "what do you study?"

[reino341]

(09-18-2013 11:23 AM)Videl Wrote:  

So I shouldn't have sticked to the topic of soccer that much? I thought you needed to talk about the opener atleast for 3-4 minutes. I guess that was my mistake. After asking "do you like soccer?" I should have said "I watch it sometimes" and then jump to "what do you study?"

Having a light-hearted conversation with another person is not an intellectual process. The way you vibe with people is just talk whatever comes to your mind, let them contribute, and then you might relate to whatever they just said.

[horn]

Stop asking questions.

[coolkid]

Read 'How to make Friends and Influence People'. One of the chapters is all about making the conversation about the other person and his/her interests.

Talk about her, her interests, how is makes her 'feel' and so on. Keep it light. And I'd say the biggest fuck-up was quitting after you returned. You could have made a joke about the weird conversation and gone with the flow.

Hell, all of us screw up. Don't worry about it and do better next time.

[Videl]

(09-18-2013 02:28 PM)horn Wrote:  

Stop asking questions.

What do you mean?

[Videl]

(09-18-2013 03:36 PM)coolkid Wrote:  

Read 'How to make Friends and Influence People'. One of the chapters is all about making the conversation about the other person and his/her interests.

Talk about her, her interests, how is makes her 'feel' and so on. Keep it light. And I'd say the biggest fuck-up was quitting after you returned. You could have made a joke about the weird conversation and gone with the flow.

Hell, all of us screw up. Don't worry about it and do better next time.

That are some good pointers. I should have switched to sports she liked.

[MrXY]

He means don't do the classic thing beta guys with bad game do- an "interview" of the girl:

What's your name?
Where do you live?
Do you like soccer?
Where do you go to school?
What are you studying?
Do you have brothers and sisters?
What do you like to do?

BORING! And intrusive and annoying. Girls like guys who are fun and interesting

Try this format- Statement, Statement , Question. You make two statements then ask her a question related to the statements, then play off her answer

[RandalGraves]

In my experience, bouncing from topic to topic is not good when talking to girls. You want the conversation to unfold organically, and instead of hitting a dozen topics superficially, you want to really soak it up when you hit a juicy topic. That's when you really wring out the emotional potential of the conversation.

It takes a long time of practice in reading people, but you just have to get to the point where, after taking in her appearance and only a couple minutes of banter, you will be able to tell what kind of girl she is and what she is into. From there, you can lead the conversation to what you expect her to be interested in and then you let her talk about it.

Here, you made a comment about "women not usually liking soccer," and she didn't bite on that line. It didn't invite an open-ended response from her, and apparently it didn't arouse any opinions or emotions in her, so she was at a loss to respond. A girl who is generally high-energy in conversation or opinionated about soccer would probably respond to that topic, but here she wasn't.

[WestIndianArchie]

See chick.
Ask one question
Neg her/Tease Her/Insult her?

Bad plan.

In the future, open her like a person, neg her if she needs negging, but only after you talk to her for a bit.

Recuperate?

If you recognize that you're failing while you're talking - break the frame.
"haha, I had you going didn't I"

If you fuck up, realize it later, and still want to talk to her again, often times you're fuck up was so weird, or misunderstood that there really isn't any harm done - and you can just reapproach anyway like it didn't happen. If you believe it didn't happen, a lot of people will just go along with it (aka hold the frame)

Also a minor detail....

I don't know where you're from, or where this took place (which is why you newbs should learn how to describe the situations you're in), but if your native language is English and your culture Western, and she was a foreigner of Czech descent who speaks English like a foreigner - then a lot of the conversational techniques designed for intra-cultural seduction like we have in the West - doesn't translate word for word to people who don't know the intricacies of your culture.

Fresh Off the Boat Chicks can be quite sexy, but they're typically aliens to the American/Canadian/English/Western way of dating. Hell, i'm not sure if people outside of North America would really respond to game developed for safety net having feminist Ameri-sluts.

It's just too much for a foreign chick to process. She might not give chase (start the "dance") right away because of cultural and language barriers.

So keep that in mind. Some chicks (non-English speakers especially) take teasing as serious criticism and will shut down before you can open them up.

WIA

[Videl]

(09-18-2013 04:03 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

He means don't do the classic thing beta guys with bad game do- an "interview" of the girl:

What's your name?
Where do you live?
Do you like soccer?
Where do you go to school?
What are you studying?
Do you have brothers and sisters?
What do you like to do?

BORING! And intrusive and annoying. Girls like guys who are fun and interesting

Try this format- Statement, Statement , Question. You make two statements then ask her a question related to the statements, then play off her answer

Oh that is a cool format. Definately will use it. I think Roosh explains something similar in his book. There is ways of asking questions in form of statements.

[Videl]

(09-19-2013 01:05 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

See chick.
Ask one question
Neg her/Tease Her/Insult her?

Bad plan.

In the future, open her like a person, neg her if she needs negging, but only after you talk to her for a bit.

Recuperate?

If you recognize that you're failing while you're talking - break the frame.
"haha, I had you going didn't I"

If you fuck up, realize it later, and still want to talk to her again, often times you're fuck up was so weird, or misunderstood that there really isn't any harm done - and you can just reapproach anyway like it didn't happen. If you believe it didn't happen, a lot of people will just go along with it (aka hold the frame)

Also a minor detail....

I don't know where you're from, or where this took place (which is why you newbs should learn how to describe the situations you're in), but if your native language is English and your culture Western, and she was a foreigner of Czech descent who speaks English like a foreigner - then a lot of the conversational techniques designed for intra-cultural seduction like we have in the West - doesn't translate word for word to people who don't know the intricacies of your culture.

Fresh Off the Boat Chicks can be quite sexy, but they're typically aliens to the American/Canadian/English/Western way of dating. Hell, i'm not sure if people outside of North America would really respond to game developed for safety net having feminist Ameri-sluts.

It's just too much for a foreign chick to process. She might not give chase (start the "dance") right away because of cultural and language barriers.

So keep that in mind. Some chicks (non-English speakers especially) take teasing as serious criticism and will shut down before you can open them up.

WIA

I know what you mean. Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match. I guess that is because she was really stunning. At the end I don't care, I only care that I learn and I definately did. Today picked up german girl somewhere else. So I'm accumulating exp and knowledge. If I start to focus only on Czech girl I would get stuck in my development. I think I need at least 10 lays before I can target and shoot the girl I want.

[bojangles]

(09-19-2013 01:05 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

See chick.
Ask one question
Neg her/Tease Her/Insult her?

Bad plan.

In the future, open her like a person, neg her if she needs negging, but only after you talk to her for a bit.

Recuperate?

If you recognize that you're failing while you're talking - break the frame.
"haha, I had you going didn't I"

If you fuck up, realize it later, and still want to talk to her again, often times you're fuck up was so weird, or misunderstood that there really isn't any harm done - and you can just reapproach anyway like it didn't happen. If you believe it didn't happen, a lot of people will just go along with it (aka hold the frame)

Also a minor detail....

I don't know where you're from, or where this took place (which is why you newbs should learn how to describe the situations you're in), but if your native language is English and your culture Western, and she was a foreigner of Czech descent who speaks English like a foreigner - then a lot of the conversational techniques designed for intra-cultural seduction like we have in the West - doesn't translate word for word to people who don't know the intricacies of your culture.

Fresh Off the Boat Chicks can be quite sexy, but they're typically aliens to the American/Canadian/English/Western way of dating. Hell, i'm not sure if people outside of North America would really respond to game developed for safety net having feminist Ameri-sluts.

It's just too much for a foreign chick to process. She might not give chase (start the "dance") right away because of cultural and language barriers.

So keep that in mind. Some chicks (non-English speakers especially) take teasing as serious criticism and will shut down before you can open them up.

WIA

This is great stuff and so true. You rarely need to neg these girls, you can do a light tease and they are really receptive. A lot of the times they just want someone who will talk to them in English for a long time, they feel like they are learning the language etc.

I swear this is Game 101

Speak slowly and quite loud with authority, express words and hold eye contact with everyone you are in conversation with. Look relaxed, you're just having a fun conversation with a or group silly european girls. Talk about anything and everything, bounce the conversation around like you bounce girls around bars on a date. When they start talking, stop talking, just sit there, you don't need to interrupt, you're confident, not nervous.

[XXL]

(09-18-2013 03:56 PM)Videl Wrote:  

(09-18-2013 02:28 PM)horn Wrote:  

Stop asking questions.

What do you mean?

^^^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[AneroidOcean]

(09-19-2013 08:45 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match.

WHY?!?!

She was checking you out after you by your own admission failed at conversation. She is somehow still into you and expressing STRONG interest (checking you out for a long time is STRONG interest from a girl) afterwards and yet you choose to walk away. Re-open her. Tell her you weren't feeling well the other day, but that you noticed her looking at you and tell her "let's go for a walk" or ANYTHING other than just walking away thinking that you embarrassed yourself.

The only thing embarrassing should be deciding FOR her that she's not into you. Trust me, girls can decide for themselves. Give her a chance to.

[Videl]

(09-19-2013 04:34 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 08:45 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match.

WHY?!?!

She was checking you out after you by your own admission failed at conversation. She is somehow still into you and expressing STRONG interest (checking you out for a long time is STRONG interest from a girl) afterwards and yet you choose to walk away. Re-open her. Tell her you weren't feeling well the other day, but that you noticed her looking at you and tell her "let's go for a walk" or ANYTHING other than just walking away thinking that you embarrassed yourself.

The only thing embarrassing should be deciding FOR her that she's not into you. Trust me, girls can decide for themselves. Give her a chance to.

Today in the club it happened again where she hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds. It doesn't really mean she likes me. The only way to find out she likes me is go talk to her. next time I will ask her how she is doing and introduce myself like nothing happened.

[coolkid]

(09-20-2013 09:13 AM)Videl Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 04:34 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 08:45 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match.

WHY?!?!

She was checking you out after you by your own admission failed at conversation. She is somehow still into you and expressing STRONG interest (checking you out for a long time is STRONG interest from a girl) afterwards and yet you choose to walk away. Re-open her. Tell her you weren't feeling well the other day, but that you noticed her looking at you and tell her "let's go for a walk" or ANYTHING other than just walking away thinking that you embarrassed yourself.

The only thing embarrassing should be deciding FOR her that she's not into you. Trust me, girls can decide for themselves. Give her a chance to.

Today in the club it happened again where she hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds. It doesn't really mean she likes me. The only way to find out she likes me is go talk to her. next time I will ask her how she is doing and introduce myself like nothing happened.

Dude, WTF? Just talk to her. You know her already. The only way to tackle your fear of approaching is to face it. That means you should talk to her the next time you see her. Ask her if she was at the club, get her number, study together, go to a bar on a weekend, dance, bang. That simple. If you made eye contact, its good.

You're also pedestalizing her. Approach at least one girl before talking to her. And I'm talking about a serious approach, not "Hi, bye!" Approach 2, 3,4,5, I don't care. Just get this chick off the pedestal and you will get laid (maybe not with her but still).

[Videl]

(09-20-2013 09:36 AM)coolkid Wrote:  

(09-20-2013 09:13 AM)Videl Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 04:34 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 08:45 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match.

WHY?!?!

She was checking you out after you by your own admission failed at conversation. She is somehow still into you and expressing STRONG interest (checking you out for a long time is STRONG interest from a girl) afterwards and yet you choose to walk away. Re-open her. Tell her you weren't feeling well the other day, but that you noticed her looking at you and tell her "let's go for a walk" or ANYTHING other than just walking away thinking that you embarrassed yourself.

The only thing embarrassing should be deciding FOR her that she's not into you. Trust me, girls can decide for themselves. Give her a chance to.

Today in the club it happened again where she hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds. It doesn't really mean she likes me. The only way to find out she likes me is go talk to her. next time I will ask her how she is doing and introduce myself like nothing happened.

Dude, WTF? Just talk to her. You know her already. The only way to tackle your fear of approaching is to face it. That means you should talk to her the next time you see her. Ask her if she was at the club, get her number, study together, go to a bar on a weekend, dance, bang. That simple. If you made eye contact, its good.

You're also pedestalizing her. Approach at least one girl before talking to her. And I'm talking about a serious approach, not "Hi, bye!" Approach 2, 3,4,5, I don't care. Just get this chick off the pedestal and you will get laid (maybe not with her but still).

I know I had to approach, but she was on the dancefloor and I was sitting. At that time I was kinda drunk and my dance skills already suck, I need to learn club dancing because that is key if you want to pick up in clubs. I have no trouble with dancing on my own but trouble with club dancing with partner.

[coolkid]

(09-20-2013 04:26 PM)Videl Wrote:  

(09-20-2013 09:36 AM)coolkid Wrote:  

(09-20-2013 09:13 AM)Videl Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 04:34 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-19-2013 08:45 AM)Videl Wrote:  

Actually I saw her today in a student bar and she was checking me out for long time but after that I broke eye contact and walked away. I really embarrassed myself when talking to her during the soccer match.

WHY?!?!

She was checking you out after you by your own admission failed at conversation. She is somehow still into you and expressing STRONG interest (checking you out for a long time is STRONG interest from a girl) afterwards and yet you choose to walk away. Re-open her. Tell her you weren't feeling well the other day, but that you noticed her looking at you and tell her "let's go for a walk" or ANYTHING other than just walking away thinking that you embarrassed yourself.

The only thing embarrassing should be deciding FOR her that she's not into you. Trust me, girls can decide for themselves. Give her a chance to.

Today in the club it happened again where she hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds. It doesn't really mean she likes me. The only way to find out she likes me is go talk to her. next time I will ask her how she is doing and introduce myself like nothing happened.

Dude, WTF? Just talk to her. You know her already. The only way to tackle your fear of approaching is to face it. That means you should talk to her the next time you see her. Ask her if she was at the club, get her number, study together, go to a bar on a weekend, dance, bang. That simple. If you made eye contact, its good.

You're also pedestalizing her. Approach at least one girl before talking to her. And I'm talking about a serious approach, not "Hi, bye!" Approach 2, 3,4,5, I don't care. Just get this chick off the pedestal and you will get laid (maybe not with her but still).

I know I had to approach, but she was on the dancefloor and I was sitting. At that time I was kinda drunk and my dance skills already suck, I need to learn club dancing because that is key if you want to pick up in clubs. I have no trouble with dancing on my own but trouble with club dancing with partner.

You're clearly pedestalizing her. Stop doing that and make a move. Worst case scenario - you don't get with her. Do whatever it is you're doing now and best case scenario - you don't get get with her. Its worth the risk. Plus getting rejected makes you better each time.

[tylerdurden1993]

Theres no point getting yourself worked up over something that happened/you should of done, theres no point you cant do anything about it. The thing you should do is next time you have the opportunity to approach remember the anger/frustration of your failure and try to use it as a positive to actually go and approach to see what happens.

Also from the looks of it you have a big scarcity complex where if you loose one girl/one opportunity you mull over it because you don't have anything else going on. Don't worry about it I have the same thing the only cure for it is to get yourself in a position where it doesn't matter if a girl flakes/you make a game error etc because you will have girls you can call up to hangout/fuck etc.

[Videl]

[quote] (09-20-2013 05:01 PM)coolkid Wrote:  

[quote='Videl' pid='538429' dateline='1379712387']
[quote='coolkid' pid='538106' dateline='1379687818']
[quote='Videl' pid='538084' dateline='1379686421']
[quote='AneroidOcean' pid='537594' dateline='1379626472']

Theres no point getting yourself worked up over something that happened/you should of done, theres no point you cant do anything about it. The thing you should do is next time you have the opportunity to approach remember the anger/frustration of your failure and try to use it as a positive to actually go and approach to see what happens.

Also from the looks of it you have a big scarcity complex where if you loose one girl/one opportunity you mull over it because you don't have anything else going on. Don't worry about it I have the same thing the only cure for it is to get yourself in a position where it doesn't matter if a girl flakes/you make a game error etc because you will have girls you can call up to hangout/fuck etc

You're clearly pedestalizing her. Stop doing that and make a move. Worst case scenario - you don't get with her. Do whatever it is you're doing now and best case scenario - you don't get get with her. Its worth the risk. Plus getting rejected makes you better each time.[/quote]
No there are a lot of other options actually. she always gave me eyecontact and I'm just sad I f-ed up. I opened her without thinking about how I wanted to lead the conversation.