[Silverback Monk]

So I'm new to this site and these forums and still digesting the red pill, but have had a fair amount of success with women in the past and have been familiar with game concepts since I started college back in 06. I learned enough to get laid plenty in college but never really started killing the beta until recently. I got out of a three year, serious beta backslide relationship and have been working on embracing the red pill lifestyle and learning post-college game. I feel like I've come a long way in internalizing the concepts and can generally read interest levels pretty well but I'm stumped about how to proceed with one of the girls I've been seeing.

I met this girl through some friends a few weeks ago, and on the first night dropped some negs to get her qualifying while playing some life of the party game with everyone else. End up isolating her at bar, getting number, conversation gets heated, we get a cab back to my place and she says no sex that night. That's usually a good sign but we get back to my place and sure enough, after making out for a few seconds she rolls over, fully clothed, and insisted on going to sleep. Next morning she sees a book of mine that intrigues her (Art of Seduction, haha) and asks to borrow it. I let her, drive her home, and don't call her right away because I thought I'd give a stab at playing hard to get.

A week later I get a text, "Finished your book asshole" and I playfully invite her out to drinks to "discuss the book." We get a bit tipsy, she outright asks to come back to my place and again says there will be no sex. I of course try anyway, we get naked, use fingers and mouth, but she just is adamant about me not putting it in. Apparently she has only ever slept with two guys - two boyfriends - and even though a lot of our conversation is sexually charged and she keeps seemingly giving me the greenlight she won't go all the way. Next morning I try again for the hell of it, finger her til she cums, and she laments about how she wants to have sex but just can't.

Went out with her again a week ago, she brought a sexy nighty on the assumption she would sleep over, which she did, but I hit the same wall (I pulled away and reinitiated at least 7-10 times). Brought her home next day, she cooked me breakfast and we fool around on her couch, she talks about how she wants to sleep with me but can't, and I go on my way.

See, the weird thing is she keeps texting me when I don't call her, asking me if I'm finally sick of her, and things about getting away together. I mentioned a planned road trip I have to go to my dad's place, and she keeps hinting that she'd like to come along and I can "say she's just a friend" if I want. We've talked about how we both want to move to a new city, and she will randomly text me things like "wanna move to California?" and then follow up by saying "we can just be friends, I'll help you meet girls." I tease her about already asking me to elope and she insists it's not like that.

I'm just confused. She's smart, solid 8 or 9 (one of the hotter girls I've gotten this far with), and I am inclined to believe her about only having sex with 2 boyfriends. We've fooled around every time we've hung out, but then she will talk about how we can just be friends. She says she can't just have sex with someone she's not dating, then she'll text me things late at night like "trying not to think about fucking you." She thinks I've had sex with 100 women (not even close in reality) and probes me about other women in my life, and when I won't give her a straight answer she talks about how she doesn't want to be "another one of my whores."

Now, I actually like this girl - she's smart and fun to talk to, plus from our other activities I have a very good feeling about her abilities in bed. But I just don't know how to proceed. Do I take her out again and just keep pushing until she wears down? I don't want to put in too much effort for no return, and I have a bad history of oneitis tendencies so I know I need to be cautious, but I am honestly stumped about the best way to proceed without being played or being the guy that fingers her until she cums while she bides her time for some other dude's cock. I think she is actually really into me, and even has a few feelings starting to develop, but she's harder to read than most girls and is driving me crazy with blue balls when we hang out.

Is it worth it to keep trying or am I just beating my cock against a wall?

[tylerdurden1993]

My advice is that too me you've put her on a pedestal and this will affect how you treat her especially with not getting sex from her. Your options are cut your losses and walk away, keep seeing her but bang other girls on the side this gets over the problem of being blueballed and you can see where the relationship goes without living like a monk until you bang her and if she does catch you, your reason can be that you were not in a relationship, or finally get involved in a one-it is relationship with her.

Me personally I would either go for option 1 or 2 its up to you really good luck

[WestIndianArchie]

You've got one itis.
She's using you.

Use her as a pawn to get other girls via preselection.

WIA

[scorpion]

Sounds like a shit test. She's waiting for you to force the issue of sex. You keep letting her get away with teasing you about it.

Your mistake is that you keep rewarding her with attention even though she's not putting out. She is losing respect for you as a man because you are letting her treat you like this. She is using you for attention and orgasms that don't add to her notch count, and she will keep doing this if you let her.

I recommend pulling back. Withdraw your attention. See how she responds.

She will probably re-initiate soon and wonder why you aren't talking to her. Hang out with her again after that, and push for sex hard. It sounds like she doesn't want to make the decision to have sex, she just wants to be taken. So take her. I'm not saying to rape her or anything, but be aggressive and dominant. Try to take it and see if she stops you. If she still stops you after that, then cut her off completely and forget about her. After you cut her off totally there's a chance she will come around and try to fuck you, but I wouldn't bet on it.

And for the record, she has definitely had sex with more than 2 guys. Girls who are truly that chaste don't go home with guys they just meet at bars, nor do they feel the need to continually say, "No sex tonight!" The only girls who say that are the ones with more than a few one-night regrets. So this girl has definitely had more than two dicks in her, and I'll bet the guys who managed to get in there were really good escalators and closers. So take a lesson from them: next time you're with this girl, push for sex hard. Get her naked and make her physically stop you from sticking your dick in her, don't just smile and nod when she says, "We're not having sex tonight," and then start fingering her like a good boy.

[Silverback Monk]

It felt like a shit test situation, that all makes a lot of sense. The fact I even made a post about it means I'm giving her too much thought and power over me. The fingering her like a good boy statement pissed me off, but only because you're right, so thanks.

I'll give it one more go if she initiates otherwise I need to just get back on the grind and meet some more girls, I guess it takes some time to truly adopt the abundance mentality after a long relationship.

[Thoroughbred]

I reckon Scorpion is on it.

I read your post Silverback and this article came to mind: http://www.returnofkings.com/3009/all-gi...-rough-sex

[Silverback Monk]

Scorpion is definitely spot on. But I definitely pushed, I missed way too many opportunities when younger by not just pushing all the way to sex. A couple times I had a condom on, tip pushing in to her and the cocktease said to stop so I did. Part of me thinks deep down she wanted me to push forward anyway but I feel like that's a REAL dangerous path to wander down.

[Thoroughbred]

Yeah I hear you, it's dicey.

(09-05-2013 05:29 PM)Silverback Monk Wrote:  

Now, I actually like this girl

This might be your issue. Not that it's bad in and of itself, but it might be getting in the way, of, well...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU

[Onto]

I've been with this kind of chick before. There are a couple of different reasons for "why" she may be doing this kind of paticular behavior, but your response should be the same. Scorpion suggested backing off and that is definately the right move and here's why.

Women are attracted to a man's transcendence, their distance from emotion, their subscribtion to logic, their ability to make decisions and act in the world (i.e. the masculine). As much as they love that about a man, they simulataneously want to destroy it and make you subscribe to the feminine dimension of reality (i.e. feelings). There are many ways a woman will try to break down a man's trancendence. Sexuality, drama, crying, yelling, etc. all the tools of the feminne (feelings) bascially in order to bring you down from the top of the mountain or in other words "your high horse". Monica Lewinsky is a great example of being successful of knocking a man down off the mountain. The irony is if they are successful at it, they immediately lose respect for you.

They way I've dealt with this in the past is to do what Scorpion recommended and be distant. Next time you get together with her, I wouldn't even try to bang her, but still make her think your interested, but not too much. The more she thinks you could care less about the bang, the more she will try to make you care about it.

If you can make a woman think you are interested in her, but at the same time make her feel doubt about it, then she will be hooked.....keeping a woman on a tight rope like that can drive them crazy actually so be careful what you wish for.