[la_mode]

The topic about married women got me thinking about this. The "somewhat taken" woman can also be treacherous and pose a threat. This is not about the legions of beta orbiters any semi-attractive woman has on facebook either. It's usually a guy they dated at one point but never fully let go of, or he never let go of her and she allowed him to stay in her life.

Divorced (even separated) married women in my opinion are the only women who have actually moved on from their exes.

The guy who is still in the background isn't always the father of their child/children either.

A LOT of women doing online dating fall into this "somewhat taken" category I've noticed.

The last 2 for me. Well, this was totally taken. One of them I found her facebook on my dummy account since she has a rare name. Engaged. Never even bothered to meet her like we had planned. I actually made up a story and told her I was encountering a lot of that. She didn't reply.

Second one, met her at Panera in a busy strip mall. Suspected she was somewhat taken but didn't know the extent of it. We had talked on the phone already and decided we should meet in person. During the date, she did mention him a few times, and that he works for Fedex and this is on his route. Apparently he is crazy and has abused her in the past. Then she tells me he's still obsessed with her (this is when I knew she was "one of those" but didn't think much of it at the moment. I notice someone is texting her but she ignores it. Then, we're talking in the parking lot a few minutes after just having lunch because she wants a cigarette, and I'm working on the next date. Next thing I know...there's a Fedex truck in the parking lot not very far away and her phone is ringing. She tells me to leave, that he "saw her with another guy" and he's gonna find out who I am and that he's waiting for me to leave. She tells me I have to go right now and looks worried, gets in her car. I get in my car and start driving like Ryan Gosling, didn't even say bye. It was one of those parking lots that only has one exit as well. He tries catching up to me but the traffic prevented him from being able to.

I know I could have confronted him, and this may have all been intentional on her end. I could have met her anywhere else and she knew that.

The point is, a "somewhat taken" women can pose the same threat as married women. POF has a lot of these as well.

Any similar stories, feel free to share.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(08-15-2013 09:59 PM)la_mode Wrote:  

The topic about married women got me thinking about this. The "somewhat taken" woman can also be treacherous and pose a threat. This is not about the legions of beta orbiters any semi-attractive woman has on facebook either. It's usually a guy they dated at one point but never fully let go of, or he never let go of her and she allowed him to stay in her life.

Divorced (even separated) married women in my opinion are the only women who have actually moved on from their exes.

The guy who is still in the background isn't always the father of their child/children either.

A LOT of women doing online dating fall into this "somewhat taken" category I've noticed.

The last 2 for me. Well, this was totally taken. One of them I found her facebook on my dummy account since she has a rare name. Engaged. Never even bothered to meet her like we had planned. I actually made up a story and told her I was encountering a lot of that. She didn't reply.

Second one, met her at Panera in a busy strip mall. Suspected she was somewhat taken but didn't know the extent of it. We had talked on the phone already and decided we should meet in person. During the date, she did mention him a few times, and that he works for Fedex and this is on his route. Apparently he is crazy and has abused her in the past. Then she tells me he's still obsessed with her (this is when I knew she was "one of those" but didn't think much of it at the moment. I notice someone is texting her but she ignores it. Then, we're talking in the parking lot a few minutes after just having lunch because she wants a cigarette, and I'm working on the next date. Next thing I know...there's a Fedex truck in the parking lot not very far away and her phone is ringing. She tells me to leave, that he "saw her with another guy" and he's gonna find out who I am and that he's waiting for me to leave. She tells me I have to go right now and looks worried, gets in her car. I get in my car and start driving like Ryan Gosling, didn't even say bye. It was one of those parking lots that only has one exit as well. He tries catching up to me but the traffic prevented him from being able to.

I know I could have confronted him, and this may have all been intentional on her end. I could have met her anywhere else and she knew that.

The point is, a "somewhat taken" women can pose the same threat as married women. POF has a lot of these as well.

Any similar stories, feel free to share.

The phrase Roissy came up with for such women is "Alpha Widow." They got a taste of Alpha and can't let go. What can you do?

I've written about this type of woman before on here. One of my ex-g/f's told me on the first date that she cheated on her previous boyfriend with his best friend for a year. Immediately I sensed trouble. Not so much about why she did it, but why she advertised it. It's because these women like to toggle guys and live a soap opera. Some women absolutely LIVE for drama and excitement and playing one guy against another, or keeping one secret, makes them hot. It's like the Old West, where women caused shoot-outs.

First, you have to mentally take such women OUT of the relationship category. OUT. You cannot even have a crush on such a woman. She wants someone to sneak around with for drama. That's the role you play -- the guy on the side. Since sex is often on the table, it's not always a bad role. And if you play along you can maybe be the Alpha, but trust me, you don't want to make someone like this a g/f. This is a booty call.

How to get there (if you even want it). Root around in her psyche to find out what kind of sexual drama she's into -- and she will be into such drama. Ferret out the perverse desires she undoubtedly has: being tied-up, taken to strip clubs, "50 Shades" crap, whatever. Then magically become the guy who "just happens" to know about these things. (Here is a little trick I do: When she expresses surprise about something you admit to and asks about it, disqualify her with "You couldn't handle it." Often the answer is "Yes I can! I've done worse." Take it from there.)

A good way to learn what desires women have is to listen to what they complain about regarding their friends. "OMG she did a guy in a bathroom stall!!!" means she wants that too, otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it. So you ask if she's never done anything wild, then counter with your own story (invent it if it doesn't exist), then dream up some fantasy you two can do.

Keep in mind she will probably not let go of the Alpha -- and if she does, another one will arrive on the scene real soon. These women live from crisis to crisis and if no crisis exists they invent one. But what you can get out of this is some wild sex, which is usually the area in which these women excel.

Women who are like this tend to be either artsy or into careers that don't require education per se, like sales. When we're young, we're almost conditioned to see all women as sweet with good intentions and their weirdness evolving out of them being the victims of bad situations or "bad choices." But twenty years hindsight into this sort of thing has given me perspective and I think such women actively seek craziness in their life. I see where you're coming from, but if you want to care about someone, find a different archetype of woman. These women don't quite grow up either. But enjoy them in their twenties, because this type of personality does not age well.

[King Solomon]

while I must reject the married woman stuff, I must admit I do love destroying boyfriends.

I'm not sure WTF about the OP story with the Fedex guy...

and I'm pretty sure its entirely my ego that likes to destroy boyfriends. But I do like the 'almost taken' lot. The difference is, the married girls have taken vows etc etc but if they are with some dude who hasn't locked it down, then he does not own her, and she is just as "on the market" as the rest off them, if not more so. Her BF amounts to a test drive, not a purchase.

Days of Broken Arrows is quite right- you must disqualify them from actual emotional investment. These are not keepers. On the other side, she will either do the same, and be glad to have the extra fuck-buddy, and keep things on the occasional DL, or she may start to emotionally invest in you, if you fuck her better. Also, her man is probably a sniveling beta or some other form of mediocrity, and they have to argue about bills and cleaning cat-boxes and cleaning toilets, where you don't, so attraction is easier and the attraction killers are absent...

so in that case you have to watch out- she is not a keeper, so you need to deflect her investment and maybe even bail entirely. Frame it like you were just there to help her through a certain time, something romantic and wistful if you like LOL Chicks eat that up and accept the end much better... then she'll go back to her vanilla boy and either settle back in, cheat on him some more, or use her newfound inspiration you gave her that there is more to life (better sex) to get up and finally leave her unsatisfactory boyfriend..

I once dated a russian model who had a boyfriend. It took me about 6 weeks to undermine him and get her naked, but it was well spent. They do not get hotter than this chick. He was hacking her shit and replied one of my emails to her with a terse reply about how she was not interested. I suspected it was him and pointed it out to her, using his own mate-guarding move to clown him. Spent the next 4 or 5 months wrecking that little tart. I had no problem eliminating him, and even investing in her, but all the while I knew she would not stay. Her hypergamy and choice addiction and thirsty dudes would see to that. So in the end, we didn't even break up. She just stopped coming around, and swung up to the next branch.

I also had a time where I was in a major internet forum, and there was another player whose material I liked, but we were adversaries. We tangled a lot, talked a lot of shit. Funny thing though- his girlfriend really liked my writing. At one point, when they were fighting, she bought me a RT plane ticket to Boston, while he was out of town for the weekend, and flew me up there. I violated her thoroughly, even as I discovered her BFs pistol under the pillow while I banged her out. 23 yr old track star. I guess I got the last laugh between me and her 'boyfriend'

Boyfriends are easy to destroy because most of them are beta, and girls are easily bored. No doubt though, a jilted boyfriend can kill your ass just as well as a cuckolded husband. Be mindful of the danger, and skip it if you can't take the heat.

[la_mode]

I don't think he's beta. He is an abusive stooge (several domestic abuse incidents regarding her), but we all know women tend to keep those guys around. Unfortunately, many women do view that behavior as alpha. I'm not talking 50 shades either, just very abusive and it's surprising he's still out on the streets.

Has known her since high school and they have a kid together. She has dated other guys but always gone back to him. He's threatened all of them. She said he was trying to find out who I was and that he saw me get in my car and chased after me. I did see the fed ex truck start moving right after I did. Was just very strange. Most women online definitely fall into this category that Roissy mentions.

[Deepdiver]

Most of the ladies I date I eventually take to the shooting range and teach them how to shoot my hand cannon - if they are good at it likely an Alpha's daughter and a good thing - if not they are usually trembling when trying to shoot. They almost always become turned on sooner than later. I inculcate them into the 2nd Amendment and how my home will always be protected as I am former elite military.

If they ask why they need this skill my short reply is a Woman can only learn to handle a man like me once she learns to handle my weapons.

The ones who flee in fear after are self nexted. The ones who stick around are always worth it.

Call it proactive relationship insurance.