[Beyond Borders]

...sucks ass.

Had the Cambodian med student here in Siem Reap texting me to come join her and her friends at the club tonight. Would be the third time we hung out as I flaked on our date yesterday due to a misunderstanding about the time. I can't go tonight because spent all my loot going out the last couple of nights and waiting for the rest to hit my account - should get here tomorrow.

These girls even pay for themselves, so there's no realistic reason why I shouldn't be able to afford it.

I even actually embarrassed myself going out to dinner tonight too because I thought the bills I had were bigger than they were and almost didn't have enough to pay! I was alone, but it was still awkward sitting there counting out my last bills and wondering if I was going to come up short.

The most ridiculous thing about it is how senseless it is. I do way too well when I do work to be broke in such a cheap place - just wasting too much time and energy out chasing so-so women and messing around. Have quite a bit of work on my plate at the moment too. This is a vicious cycle I go through with having a pocketful of money and not being active enough in my business, and then the money dries up and I bust out for a few days, and then get lazy again when it hits my account. I'm sure some of you can relate.

Now jeopardizing the bang on a more quality, traditional one because I didn't get organized or make sure I withdrew money fast enough? Fail. Virtual bitchslaps welcome.

Oh well - just a much-needed kick in the ass. Guess I'll spend the night working and get caught up a bit.

Lesson is, though, don't short yourself on experiences due to lack of loot. There's plenty of money to be made in the world; it's just a matter of sitting down (or standing up in many of your cases) and making it. I think it also pays to prioritize your nights out when living out this direction. Or at least go home when nothing good presents itself rather than wander over to the seedier spots to stretch your night out further. The problem in SEAsia is that there's always something to do and you have to actively force yourself away from it sometimes.

[christpuncher]

To clarify - Are you actually flat broke and need the money coming into your account to survive? or do you have other savings that you're unwilling/unable to quickly access, and just having a minor cashflow problem at the moment?

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 11:32 AM)christpuncher Wrote:  

To clarify - Are you actually flat broke and need the money coming into your account to survive? or do you have other savings that you're unwilling/unable to quickly access, and just having a minor cashflow problem at the moment?

Good question. I'm living paycheck to paycheck right now - well, not exactly like that, but following the pattern I mentioned above. I do have money in my online accounts, but it takes time to withdraw and I'm not always good about doing it in time.

I had a couple good runs of success in my mid-20s but then lost everything. And I mean, everything. I really let it beat me down and while I don't dwell on it or anything, I've never fully gotten back around to pulling myself back up by my britches and getting serious about my finances again.

I know it's no way to live life. Need to change that attitude. Might be good to stick around here for a while and take a more serious approach to my business again - since living costs are so cheap here. Already planning to extend my visa for a month so might just do that.

This is a self-discipline issue above all else, as most such problems are.

[jimukr104]

How did you lose everything?

[bacan]

I'm also interested on how you lost everything

[WanderingSoul]

I always have the most ambition and energy to work bright and early in the morning. Try to work for 2-3 hours right when you wake up. Don't eat, or go get coffee or fuck off on the RVF. Get up and set a timer for an hour and bust out one solid hours worth of work. Take a 5 minute break, and do it again. I'm sure if you put in even 2 or 3 hours of solid work each morning you would be much better off. I know I would lol.

[bacon]

You can get a cash advance from your credit card (as long as you have a credit line) and use that to hold you over. Fees are like 10 bucks typically.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 11:42 AM)jimukr104 Wrote:  

How did you lose everything?

(08-11-2013 11:44 AM)bacan Wrote:  

I'm also interested on how you lost everything

Shit, maybe I shouldn't have even started this thread as this isn't something I really want to get into -I was more just bitching at myself about my current state of affairs. Sorry to peak your guys' interest and leave you hanging. For various reasons, I can't get into it fully.

I have spoken on one incident quite a bit on the forum already but don't really want to write it all out again.

I may write a memoir someday about the entire period of my life but need to consult a legal professional first.

[RussianSoul]

Beyond Borders, this is what scares me about pursuing the whole location independent lifestyle. There is money to be made online but I think it requires an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Its easy to loose track of the bottom line when you are on a beach in Cambodia. Time, money, the meaning of life,etc... becomes obscure really fast. Paradise malaise.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 12:01 PM)RussianSoul Wrote:  

Beyond Borders, this is what scares me about pursuing the whole location independent lifestyle. There is money to be made online but I think it requires an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Its easy to loose track of the bottom line when you are on a beach in Cambodia. Time, money, the meaning of life,etc... becomes obscure really fast. Paradise malaise.

It's a very real problem. I'd say it's the biggest problem.

Any guy with self-discipline going for them can do this - those that don't have it will suffer. That's also what makes it so hard to give up once you're living like this though...knowing that it's only that one thing standing in your way...

[Aliblahba]

I don't what would be worse, living in paradise with no money, or back in the states working a saving for another trip. From experience talking to expats, many of them don't appreciate living abroad after extended periods. I don't think they realize it. I think coming back home for awhile and stacking cash is healthy, and resets the clock.

Living in a poosy paradise with no money to operate would be like a diabetic in a candy store, or player in the hottest club in LA, but none of the top shelf talent wanting the bang.

I'm trying to get setup to go on another adventure later this year, but won't do it unless the finances are there to enjoy it. And staying positive here is key. The U.S. isn't that bad. I get laid on the regular, make good money, was getting paid to travel all over the world. Where you are is what you make of it.

[blue]

with most credit card companies you can impose a daily withdrawal limit on your self if that helps

[Beyond Borders]

Anyone want to hold each other accountable on our business goals? We can communicate through email and/or Google Docs, send messages stating what we've done towards our goals ever work-day, etc.

If there's someone non-trollish who is into the idea, hit me up. Just be committed - I've tried similar working relationships online before and my accountability partner always gives up almost immediately. LOL

[luggage]

happened to my mate in Indonesia where he miscalculated how much to spend and spent most of his money on booze and pro's/semi-pro's.

Worst thing was i was with him and had to sacrifice some fun so that my remaining money doesn't run out before his flight.

He has yet to give me the money back.

Has this happened to your friend where you had to lend him some money and possibly fuck yourself because of it?

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 05:01 PM)luggage Wrote:  

happened to my mate in Indonesia where he miscalculated how much to spend and spent most of his money on booze and pro's/semi-pro's.

Worst thing was i was with him and had to sacrifice some fun so that my remaining money doesn't run out before his flight.

He has yet to give me the money back.

Has this happened to your friend where you had to lend him some money and possibly fuck yourself because of it?

I've got some friends back home that owe me a shitload of money. It's aggravating. These are the guys that still go to casinos or book expensive vacations too - drives you nuts. One "buddy" who has owed me thousands of dollars for years buys his old lady vehicles and takes her to snowboarding trips in Tahoe on the regular. I've had to let go of some of these friendships over the years.

Lending money to your homies is risky. Then again, the type of guy who can't pay you back after you put yourself out to help him in a bad situation - who won't even grace you with chipping away at it - probably isn't the type of guy you want in your corner anyways. It makes for a smaller social circle but I would personally rather be stingy with my attention.

[el mechanico]

Tell those fuckers " I'm coming to settle your debt up in two months so you have plenty of time to save" I consider it very disrespectful when you help people and they don't re-pay. I'll help friends and just give them money sometimes because I know they wont pay me back but the other ones you should get into a critical mass state with asap. My usual go-to is to take all their good shit and hide it until they pay or put huge liens on their cars. Sometimes worse stuff I wont post here but people who know me well enough to owe me money usually know what kind of nonsense I'm capable of but still try me.

Your post has made me think about some bad debt and I'm getting pissed off now.

To add.. I was telling my mom this a couple months ago when she told me some relatives were complaining about how big of a dick I am to them...

I told her..When I can't take care of my kid or go out of business everyone's going to just call me a loser. Maybe they'll think I'm on drugs or just shitty at my work either way shit will be talked. But, for now I'm a dick and if they don't like what and how I get shit done they can stay out of my way--fucking losers..

Basically..everyone is trying to fuck me all day. Some people go for the gold some silver or bronze medal of fucking. I can't even to begin to tell you starting with employees to the bank, vendors etc. I save 200 a day minimum by just saying fuck you

But in the end the entire town can owe me, have a pile of bad checks in my desk and when I'm broke I'm just a loser. Fuck them- get paid

[el mechanico]

Also you should have a blog and put one of those paypal donate things on it like american in BKK or whatever his face is. Your trip is worth reading
[attachment=13851]

[luggage]

(08-11-2013 05:09 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(08-11-2013 05:01 PM)luggage Wrote:  

happened to my mate in Indonesia where he miscalculated how much to spend and spent most of his money on booze and pro's/semi-pro's.

Worst thing was i was with him and had to sacrifice some fun so that my remaining money doesn't run out before his flight.

He has yet to give me the money back.

Has this happened to your friend where you had to lend him some money and possibly fuck yourself because of it?

I've got some friends back home that owe me a shitload of money. It's aggravating. These are the guys that still go to casinos or book expensive vacations too - drives you nuts. One "buddy" who has owed me thousands of dollars for years buys his old lady vehicles and takes her to snowboarding trips in Tahoe on the regular. I've had to let go of some of these friendships over the years.

Lending money to your homies is risky. Then again, the type of guy who can't pay you back after you put yourself out to help him in a bad situation - who won't even grace you with chipping away at it - probably isn't the type of guy you want in your corner anyways. It makes for a smaller social circle but I would personally rather be stingy with my attention.

And now I have this other asshole friend who is on 'roids and only seems to want to ask for money when i'm abroad. I wired him around $300 when i was in Dubai last year and he still wants more for his "medicine".

Another guy i lent around 1000 and only after fights and good talk did i convince him to give me 500 even though he was making close to 5k a month and claims to send most of it back to his relatives in EE.

1st world problems. Ha.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 05:25 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Tell those fuckers " I'm coming to settle your debt up in two months so you have plenty of time to save" I consider it very disrespectful when you help people and they don't re-pay. I'll help friends and just give them money sometimes because I know they wont pay me back but the other ones you should get into a critical mass state with asap. My usual go-to is to take all their good shit and hide it until they pay or put huge liens on their cars. Sometimes worse stuff I wont post here but people who know me well enough to owe me money usually know what kind of nonsense I'm capable of but still try me.

Your post has made me think about some bad debt and I'm getting pissed off now.

I hear you, Man. I've certainly thought about it and used to get violent with these kind of people but there came a point where I just decided to let all that shit go as getting gangster about shit has always done my life more harm than good. I've tried to move past it all.

And it's pretty complicated to boot.

One is a total deadbeat that fluctuates from broke to baller on a regular basis and has five kids now, I believe, to feed - all but two from different women. We lived together about six years when we were growing up, so he's always been like a younger brother - and then I took him out of his baby's mama's garage to put him up and give him a place to sleep and work before he ended up burning me. I hit him up from time to time on the phone and get him to start making payments of a grand or two here and there again but with the amount of money he owes me I won't get the total debt back anytime soon even if I go take it.

Was going to drive up to his house in his new city while I was home to see what kind of valuable shit he had lying around but never got around to it.

The other major one - the one that spends money like it's going out of style even though he still owes me - our families are so intertwined that it would be hard to get tough with him. Not to mention that he's probably the most fearless guy I've ever met - and I know some pretty fearless guys. You could stick a gun in his face and he'd just get mad - and trying to put a scare into him would be next to impossible unless I really wanted us to take it into the ground, which I really don't at this moment of my life.

He was my best friends for years, I lived with his older sister's family off and on for a while and have free reign of their house whenever I pass through town for as long as I want. I flew all the way back to Cali to be there when his brother was dying, because I was close with him too, and dated his other sister for three years. My older brother dated his cousin for six years. Grew up in the same shitty trailer park.

At this point, we've known eachother so long I consider his family mine, and just can't take it there. That's one of the things that sucks about small towns. You're so close with everyone that they're almost family, and it becomes harder to take them to task when they burn you. And in this particular small town no families were closer than ours.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't think he'd throw a fit if I went over to his house and grabbed a few things to settle it a little - he's at least somewhat reasonable and harbors none of the hard feelings I harbor for him, so he'd probably just say, "okay, take it." But I'm not there right now so can't.

Anyways, he's really just a flake more than anything else - with him it's only three or four grand at this point, and I valued our friendship much more than I'll ever value that money. It's the disrespect of it all that made me write him off.

At the very least, you can say I've learned my lessons about money and friends.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 05:44 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Also you should have a blog and put one of those paypal donate things on it like american in BKK or whatever his face is. Your trip is worth reading

Thanks for the confidence, Man - I probably should. I do know how to make cash with IM and just haven't been setting up the projects I have on the table. Those donation things don't bring in much bread but there are other ways to do that - And it's a much better use of my posting time.

I'll get on it.

(08-11-2013 05:46 PM)luggage Wrote:  

And now I have this other asshole friend who is on 'roids and only seems to want to ask for money when i'm abroad. I wired him around $300 when i was in Dubai last year and he still wants more for his "medicine".

Hey bro - can you wire me some cash?

hahaha

[worldwidetraveler]

Yeah, lived through that and wouldn't want to again.

It was more of a set of problems that led to the low cash flow and not a work ethic.

That is one reason I would rather stay in a place longer than most if I am working. It is easier for me to create a routine that involves work instead of trying to experience the area in a matter of days.

Too much boozing will mess you up when it comes to work. It takes me longer and longer to spring back from a night of drinking.

[TopPanda]

Man up and find a job overseas.

Thailand has something like 0.8% unemployment, so there's work around if you dig. I applied for one in Bangkok last week, but the guy wanted me to work full time, which is not why I left my cubicle in England. Still, it shows there is work for farangs here if you need it.

Also it would be hard to be in SE Asia with no money. Some (well many) girls here are flat broke, i.e. not having enough to put 50 baht on their mobile phone broke. Actually many girls back home have the same problem, so guys with money are welcome everywhere.

By the way, if any "mate" abroad asks for money, move on and find another mate. Sheesh, it's all too easy to become a walking ATM machine out here, and often the guys are worse than the women.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 10:52 PM)TopPanda Wrote:  

Man up and find a job overseas.

Man up? LOL Interesting choice of words. I don't see working for someone else as manning up when there's plenty of work available with what I'm doing already, and that offers far more freedom because it's 100% online. Shortage of work is not my problem - lack of self-discipline is.

So if I was going to man up it would be by just becoming more productive and taking my business and my financial life seriously. Seeking employment at this stage of the game rather than taking responsibility for my loose ends would be akin to manning down, in my honest opinion.

Thanks for the advice though - I know your heart was in the right place. Some of it just seems a tad misguided or pretty obvious to someone who has spent as much time over here as I have.

Anyhow, if you don't mind sharing, it would be interesting to hear about the type of work you were offered and what the salary was. I'm sure a lot of guys on here would love to know what's available.

Best of luck to you - hope you find the gig you're looking for.

[Aliblahba]

Hey BB, I think that big lardass that owns the Living in Cebu forum is living up your way now. Lol.

[WanderingSoul]

(08-11-2013 10:52 PM)TopPanda Wrote:  

Man up and find a job overseas.

Thailand has something like 0.8% unemployment, so there's work around if you dig. I applied for one in Bangkok last week, but the guy wanted me to work full time, which is not why I left my cubicle in England. Still, it shows there is work for farangs here if you need it.

Also it would be hard to be in SE Asia with no money. Some (well many) girls here are flat broke, i.e. not having enough to put 50 baht on their mobile phone broke. Actually many girls back home have the same problem, so guys with money are welcome everywhere.

By the way, if any "mate" abroad asks for money, move on and find another mate. Sheesh, it's all too easy to become a walking ATM machine out here, and often the guys are worse than the women.

Man up and stop fucking with poor Isaan girls and hookers and you won't have this problem.

I've never fucked with a girl so broke in Thailand that she couldn't afford 50 baht. Even the poor Isaan girls I fucked with, before I realized not to fuck with them, would bring me candy from 7-11 when they came to my condo.

And also, can we not tell other men to "man up"? That's female shaming language.