Coping with feminism at the work place and in social settings
08-03-2013, 05:54 PM
RE: Work
I want to preface this by saying that the end goal should probably be to do your own thing so as to not be in the insecure, emotional minefield that is workplace feminism. Still, say you learned as much (from this corner of the web) too late and need to stack some money as a cushion for future opportunity...
1. Feminist Superiors:
- First, do your work, do it well, and make life easier for them. Everything else hinges upon this first point. Let them take the credit, too. If down the line you're not rewarded for this work, well, see the above preface...
- What will invariably happen if you do the first bit is that you'll become something of a confidant, a sounding board. At first it'll be work-related but this will quickly switch personnel conversation (read: gossip) and her own issues. When the conversation is work-related you'll want to listen, listen well, and provide a solution (again, you're making her life easier). When it comes to gossip and her own issues you've got to be economical with your words and again listen (see a pattern?), but feed back what she's saying. Remember: She's your boss and she's seeking validation. The last thing you're there to do is enlighten her with your red-pill wisdom.
With male superiors discussion is usually straightforward. Throw all of this out the window with your feminist boss. She wants to "communicate," aka she wants to talk. If she's doing 70 percent of the talking and you're doing 30 percent (80/20's even better) then you're doing it correctly.
The trap here is that you may feel confident in discussing some personal issues you're going through. Issues, as it were, that show you in a weak spot. Never do this. While it's good to sprinkle in a tiny amount of vulnerability, if you're wondering whether it's too much then you probably shouldn't. As everyone here knows, women (feminist or otherwise) despise weak men. Also, do not discuss your player exploits no matter how BFF your relationship may seem.
In short, with your feminist boss you'll want to play the greater-beta. In pop culture think Jim from The Office (Tim for our friends across the pond). I hate those two characters with a passion but, hey, gotta get paid...
This goes without saying, but it helps to be decent looking, in-shape, and not dressed like a total dweeb. She is, after all, a woman and most likely your male co-workers will be obsequious slobs. If there's a hint of (always unspoken) sexual tension then you're doing it more right than you can imagine. The tension is never ever to be discussed and by staying in your greater beta role odds are it won't.
- Feminist Co-Workers:
Don't bang them. Ever. If you do, no matter what happens to your employment-status, everyone will know.
With these girls you want to be a standard gentleman. At the same time, draw a line with subservience to your female co-workers. You'll be fine, because you're in good with the Queen Bee and women inevitably all wind up hating each other anyway. Under no circumstance do you shit talk the Queen Bee with female (or male) co-workers. She will find out and you'll ruin your relationship with the bosslady.
When any feminist (co-worker, superior, subordinate) shit tests your go to response should be agree and amplify. No matter how tight your "negs" are understand that you're in an emotional minefield and at a legal disadvantage. Besides, you've got work to do...
Subordinates:
Don't bang them. Ever. If you do, no matter what happens to your employment-status, everyone will know.
Busting out a humblebrag here, I did this. Everyone knew, but the only reason nothing happened was because I was doing well in sales. Off-topic, if you're in sales and bringing in $$ you can get away with damn near anything. Still, not worth it...
In my experience, subordinates won't shit test you quite as much as co-workers. Some will of course and, again, agree and amplify. With both co-workers and subordinates you should give off a vibe that you're here to do work. No need to be dickish - just a gentlemanly, professional demeanor. As mentioned above, with the Queen Bee you can discuss some personal issues that paint you in a positive light, sprinkled a small bit of vulnerability. With co-workers and subordinates you'll want to keep this to the bare minimum no matter how "cool" they seem (they're not).
If you're ever at an office function involving alcohol make sure you slow-drink (or don't drink at all) and bounce early. This shouldn't be too difficult because these functions are wack. Also, by doing all of the above correctly, these women are going to be intrigued by you. Throw in some alcohol, some flirtation, and even if nothing happens understand that an office gossips as much as a small, rural town.
Socially:
Hell, as long as the girl's got no connection to your work just have more game than Parker Brothers, pump, dump, and don't get her pregnant.
If it's some catlady, "politically aware," feminist and you want to be contrarian then channel your inner Christopher Hitchens and go-ahead.