[RustyShackleford]

I've had a handful of one-night stands, not to the degree of some studs on this forum, but more than the average man (not saying much). But I don't enjoy one night stands, in fact I would rather have sex with 1 girl ten times, than sleep with 10 girls once.

I enjoy pushing boundaries with a girl sexually, and knowing her spots and having her know mine. It's much more enjoyable to sleep with someone after you've had experience with each other. I also enjoy sex much more if I am emotionally connected to a girl, but that's a post for another time.

I am all for hypergamy and dating multiple women at the same time, but one night stands just to get a notch or a flag, or just to get off don't appeal to me. The sex is awkward and disjointed, I often have performance anxiety and take a while to get up to mast if I have had a few drinks. The performance anxiety could be caused by some underlying beliefs, but I cannot identify them myself.

Part of it could be an efficiency issue, I enjoy having sex but I do not want to put a lot of work into getting it from women. I have traditionally had high quality flings and girlfriends, but my standards are high and they come and go infrequently. I worry that I may not have a true 'abundance mentality' because I am so picky, and have such a specific women I find attractive.

Do you guys think it's a lack of inner game which leads to performance anxiety? Is it normal to take longer to get aroused around a new partner? I don't think this should be the case, but it is with me. It's even worse when the girl is <7 in the looks department, but still apparent with 8s and 9s.

By the 3rd time, all performance anxiety is gone and I am raring to go. Is this something I should accept about myself, or do you guys think there are underlying issues? I've lost a couple of women because of the issue. The nofap movement certainly helped though, maybe it's the after burn of watching porn.

[Hallasan]

(07-14-2013 10:40 PM)RustyShackleford Wrote:  

I've had a handful of one-night stands, not to the degree of some studs on this forum, but more than the average man (not saying much). But I don't enjoy one night stands, in fact I would rather have sex with 1 girl ten times, than sleep with 10 girls once.

I agree that ONS are not ideal and I do prefer to bang a new girl at least a few times. You're exaggerating about the 1 girl 10 times thing, right?
I'll take 10 over 1 anytime (assuming no significant loss in quality).

Quote:

I enjoy pushing boundaries with a girl sexually, and knowing her spots and having her know mine. It's much more enjoyable to sleep with someone after you've had experience with each other. I also enjoy sex much more if I am emotionally connected to a girl, but that's a post for another time.

While I certainly didn't love every girl I've banged, there should be some emotional interest or at least "I like this girl." Even girls that I've shored, while they weren't wife material, I enjoyed my time around them outside of the room to some degree.

Quote:

I am all for hypergamy and dating multiple women at the same time, but one night stands just to get a notch or a flag, or just to get off don't appeal to me. The sex is awkward and disjointed, I often have performance anxiety and take a while to get up to mast if I have had a few drinks. The performance anxiety could be caused by some underlying beliefs, but I cannot identify them myself.

Part of it could be an efficiency issue, I enjoy having sex but I do not want to put a lot of work into getting it from women. I have traditionally had high quality flings and girlfriends, but my standards are high and they come and go infrequently. I worry that I may not have a true 'abundance mentality' because I am so picky, and have such a specific women I find attractive.

Do you guys think it's a lack of inner game which leads to performance anxiety? Is it normal to take longer to get aroused around a new partner? I don't think this should be the case, but it is with me. It's even worse when the girl is <7 in the looks department, but still apparent with 8s and 9s.

You have trouble the first time? I'm usually rock hard the first time I make out with any girl and we're in bed.
Later on I may get tired of the girl and it may become an issue.

Quote:

By the 3rd time, all performance anxiety is gone and I am raring to go. Is this something I should accept about myself, or do you guys think there are underlying issues? I've lost a couple of women because of the issue. The nofap movement certainly helped though, maybe it's the after burn of watching porn.

[RustyShackleford]

(07-15-2013 12:19 AM)Hallasan Wrote:  

While I certainly didn't love every girl I've banged, there should be some emotional interest or at least "I like this girl." Even girls that I've shored, while they weren't wife material, I enjoyed my time around them outside of the room to some degree.

I did like the girl to a degree, she was passionate and feminine, but I found myself bored often.

(07-15-2013 12:19 AM)Hallasan Wrote:  

You're exaggerating about the 1 girl 10 times thing, right?

10 to 1 is an exaggeration, it's probably closer to 3 to 1.

What usually happens is I get rock hard too early in the interaction, it fades and it's not as strong the second time. The less attractive a girl, the worse this problem gets.

I've only slept with about 12-15 girls, but my standards are higher than most guys. I tend to have a very specific type of girl that I go after, others I am simply not attracted to. This is how I've combated the issue, but it did not make sense to me to not get excited about new prospects, even if they were average or above average girls (6/7)

[Seth_Rose]

(07-14-2013 10:40 PM)RustyShackleford Wrote:  

I've had a handful of one-night stands, not to the degree of some studs on this forum, but more than the average man (not saying much). But I don't enjoy one night stands, in fact I would rather have sex with 1 girl ten times, than sleep with 10 girls once.

I feel ya. I like the idea of sleeping with a new girl. I see it as a conquest. Plus, their body is new to me so I enjoy the experience of having something I've never had before. On the other hand, I agree, sex is much better with someone you've hooked up with before.

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I enjoy pushing boundaries with a girl sexually, and knowing her spots and having her know mine. It's much more enjoyable to sleep with someone after you've had experience with each other. I also enjoy sex much more if I am emotionally connected to a girl, but that's a post for another time.

Definitely, nothing wrong with that.

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I am all for hypergamy and dating multiple women at the same time, but one night stands just to get a notch or a flag, or just to get off don't appeal to me. The sex is awkward and disjointed, I often have performance anxiety and take a while to get up to mast if I have had a few drinks. The performance anxiety could be caused by some underlying beliefs, but I cannot identify them myself.

Like I metioned before, and I'm sure others would agree, there is a certain pleasure in going out, flirting with, and subsequently fucking fresh pussy. This is what many of us enjoy, not to mention the sex part.

Sure, it gets better as time goes on, but the hunt, the Game is what players love imo.

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Part of it could be an efficiency issue, I enjoy having sex but I do not want to put a lot of work into getting it from women. I have traditionally had high quality flings and girlfriends, but my standards are high and they come and go infrequently. I worry that I may not have a true 'abundance mentality' because I am so picky, and have such a specific women I find attractive.

Let your dick do the talking. Familiarize yourself with Roosh's boner test. Does she get you hard? Then go for it. Fuck what others think, but if you truly have no desire to fuck girls that may be lower than your standards that's fine. Don't force yourself to bang if your not attracted to her. As for the abundance mentality, that is an interesting point. How high are your standards? How often do you approach, bang etc?

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Do you guys think it's a lack of inner game which leads to performance anxiety? Is it normal to take longer to get aroused around a new partner? I don't think this should be the case, but it is with me. It's even worse when the girl is <7 in the looks department, but still apparent with 8s and 9s.

I don't think inner game has to do with performance anxiety. Personally, I haven't fucked too many girls, and I have suffered performance anxiety several times. Why? I'm not overly experienced with sex. When I first hook up with a girl, I'm more likely to bust too soon, or not get it up at all, but with my ex-gf, I fucked like a champ. Goes back to what you said earlier about banging the same girl 10 times. Look at some of the guys on this forum? Take guys like Fisto and THC in Asia. There fucking a new girl everyday, if not more than one! Do you think they're worrying about not being able to get it up? Hell no. It's a daily activity for them banging new girls, they've done it so much it doesn't even register on their radar as a potential issue. The best way to overcome something is more exposure to it, in this case more ONS, but if that contradicts the fact that you don't like ONS that will prove to be an issue.

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By the 3rd time, all performance anxiety is gone and I am raring to go. Is this something I should accept about myself, or do you guys think there are underlying issues? I've lost a couple of women because of the issue. The nofap movement certainly helped though, maybe it's the after burn of watching porn.

Exactly! The more you have sex with the same girl, the more comfortable you are with her, and thus less likely to have a problem in bed. I'm the same exact way. Again, to overcome it just keep going for more ONS. If the next 10 girls you fuck you bust in 30 seconds or can't get hard, don't worry, maybe by the 11th you'll get it haha. I would say don't worry about it, but it is hard not too when it comes to this shit, but the solution imo is to just have more sex with randoms which doesn't sound like a bad deal to me. And yes, no Fap should help imo. 1-2x per week is fine, but cut the porn.

Good luck brotha.

Seth Rose

[poutsara]

(07-14-2013 10:40 PM)RustyShackleford Wrote:  

I've had a handful of one-night stands, not to the degree of some studs on this forum, but more than the average man (not saying much). But I don't enjoy one night stands, in fact I would rather have sex with 1 girl ten times, than sleep with 10 girls once.

Great! Then don't have one night stands and instead keep banging away the girls you currently have.

Quote:

I enjoy pushing boundaries with a girl sexually, and knowing her spots and having her know mine. It's much more enjoyable to sleep with someone after you've had experience with each other. I also enjoy sex much more if I am emotionally connected to a girl, but that's a post for another time.

Great! Just keep a few girls on rotation that you're connected to and can keep pushing boundaries with.

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I am all for hypergamy and dating multiple women at the same time, but one night stands just to get a notch or a flag, or just to get off don't appeal to me. The sex is awkward and disjointed, I often have performance anxiety and take a while to get up to mast if I have had a few drinks. The performance anxiety could be caused by some underlying beliefs, but I cannot identify them myself.

It's not performance anxiety! It's you telling yourself you don't like one-night stands. So don't pursue them! You don't need any more explanation than that.

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Do you guys think it's a lack of inner game which leads to performance anxiety? Is it normal to take longer to get aroused around a new partner?

It's not lack of inner game! It's your inner game telling you what you want and don't want! Listen to yourself.

[20Nation]

The only time I have one night stands, is if I didn't click sexually with the girl. If I do then there is no reason not to see her as many times again as you want. It does not mean you have to give up multiple girls. You can fuck multiple girls at the same time. It's called a rotation. If you click with a girl, there is no reason not to see her again, but you don't have to give up other chicks.

As far as performance anxiety. It just means you haven't had sex enough and aren't yet completely comfortable with it. Keep having sex and it will slowly go away. I had it for my first 30 or so notches.